Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
Slash
I found another bottle of whiskey after the cops left. I remember something about Izzy and Nikki shooting something in the yard and then the tree outside of our window exploded. Cops came, Duff threw my bottle so they wouldn’t catch me with it since I was underage. At some point Duff and I passed out in the kitchen and when we came to the party had started up again. Then there was an awesome fight between Axl and Izzy and Izzy currently has Axl pinned to the ground in the backyard and he’s thrashing around and screaming and practically foaming at the mouth but Izzy never lets him up; he’s not even phased, must be the energy from all the coke he and Nikki shot up right before they blew up the tree which is what Tommy says Axl is pissed about. Duff, Tommy, Nikki and I are all sitting on the back steps drinking and watching the fight. Tommy bet Nikki $50 that Axl would kick Izzy off but he’s losing that bet so far. “Dude, is your singer part fucking wild dog or something?” Nikki laughs. Axl’s growling and trying to bite Izzy’s arm to get him off.
“He’s the bitch!” Tommy shrieks and starts giggling. The rest of us crack up too; it’s too funny not to laugh. Everything’s funny right now; one of the benefits of being this drunk! Some guy with a mustache and a suit walks up to Nikki and they greet each other like old friends. Duff and I watch, still giggling, as Axl finally gives up and goes upstairs followed by Izzy a few minutes later. Erin grabs Izzy’s arm as he walks through the kitchen but he shakes her off; annoyed. Huh, what the fuck is up with that? Nikki cuts off my thoughts and introduces the guy. “Guys, this is Tom Zutaut, he does A&R and publicity for Geffen. He used to work for us at Electra but he moved over to your company, skipped out on us because I fucked his girlfriend.”
The guy in the suit looks extremely uncomfortable for a second and I realize Nikki is totally serious; he did fuck the guy’s girlfriend! “Tom this is Duff, and Slash. Where are the other three degenerates?” he asks lighting up a cigarette and offering the rest of us one. Both Duff and I take one from the box and Duff lights mine as well as his. We talk with the dude for a few minutes since he’ll be working with us most likely. He says he’d like to meet the other guys from our band; Izzy and Axl are upstairs I know but no one has seen Steven for a while. Duff says he’ll go to look for him and I head up the stairs to take a piss and see if I can get the other two to come down and meet this Tom guy. When I come out of the bathroom Zutaut is standing in the hallway. I smile at him and say “Bathroom’s free.
“I didn’t want the bathroom,” he says, “I wanted to talk to you; it’s too loud down there to hear.”
“Me?” I ask nervously. This never ends well; guys like this never just want to talk to me; they always want something else.
“Yeah well, you’re the lead guitarist so you’ll be giving a lot of interviews and doing lots of the band’s publicity and you’re easy on the eyes; photographers are going to love you.” I try and back away a little but the guy grabs my arm and suddenly pulls me back and wedges me into a corner between the back wall and the bathroom door. “What are you willing to do for that kind of fame?” he asks. “The kind where millions of people know who you are?”
“Hey, get off me man!” I tell him. I might be drunk but not that drunk! “Geffen said all we had to do was make him gold records; nothing else!” I am not dealing with this kind of shit anymore; everyone but Duff needs to keep their fucking hands off of me! I try and push past him but he shoves me back into wall hard.
“Well Geffen’s not here and I control your publicity. Word all over town is that you and your boyfriend let the guys from Virgin fuck you up the ass for new instruments and a prospective deal. For the kind of promotion your band needs to be as big as Motley you got a lot of work to do and I hear you’re the sweetest piece of ass in town.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you heard but you’re not getting anything out of me so move and let me go back downstairs. Maybe Geffen should hear about tonight,” I tell him and try and get around him.
“Like he’d believe a little degenerate junkie like you over me,” he laughs. I feel angry tears starting to form in the corners of my eyes. Fuck I am not going to cry in front of this guy.
“Let me go!” I growl and try and get past him but he grabs my hair and pulls me back and shoves me into the wall again.
“I hear you’ve got a fucking huge cock too; like Tommy’s almost, why don’t you let me see it?” he wheedles and his hand cups my crotch squeezing a little. “Feels like that might be the truth,” he says his fingers feeling me through my pants.
“Get off me!” I tell him and move his hand away but he pins one arm above my head and replaces that hand on my dick with his other one. I’m fighting against him and manage to get around him but I’m so drunk I don’t make it very far and he corners me again against Izzy’s door. Suddenly the door flies open and I stumble back into Izzy and Axl’s bedroom. Izzy catches me and pushes me behind him and I fall into Axl and grab his shirt. He pries my fingers off of him and sits me down on the bed.
“Settle down kid!” he hisses.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Izzy growls. Zutaut throws his hands up and whispers “Ok, we were just having a little fun.”
“Didn’t look like fun to me, you having fun Slash?” Izzy asks. I shake my head and curl up into a ball on the bed. “He wasn’t having a good time,” Izzy says in that cool voice of his. “Get the fuck out of here!” Zutaut nods and takes off down the hall. Izzy turns to me and asks “You alright man?”
I just nod again and at that second Duff appears in the doorway. Izzy tells him what happened and I watch as absolute fury fills Duff’s eyes. “Izzy you need to show me who he is because I’m going to kick his ass” Duff growls. I know that there’s no stopping him so I don’t even try; I don’t care if he kills the fucker.
A few minutes later Izzy reappears and sits down next to me. I’m shaking, breathing hard, Axl’s sitting in front of me and trying to get me to breathe evenly. “Izzy, I whisper, help me.” He knows exactly what I mean and he looks at me and shakes his head. “No, you spent all those days being sick as fuck to get sober; I’m not fucking that up.
“I don’t need it forever, just tonight, please? If you don’t give me some I’ll go get it from somewhere else! I’m sure Sixx can get me some! It’s just that it’ll take a while and I had one of those panic attacks that Duff has this morning and it’s starting again, make it stop Izz! Please make it stop!” I beg him, gasping for air. His huge coked out eyes look at me and he shakes his head but he starts pulling stuff out from under the bedrails.
“Just breathe kid, in and out, really deep,” he says kneeling down in front of me and placing a spoon and lighter on the table between the beds. He digs back in his pockets for a couple of folds of smack and dumps one in the spoon. He reaches under the bed and pulls out a water bottle and empties some into the spoon. Some people think you need lemon juice but really water works fine. He cooks up a shot and I’m thinking itÂ’s mine and reaches up under the frame rail of the bed and pulls out two rigs. “Kid I gotta do myself first; I can’t shoot you up on this coke; I don’t want to miss ok?” I nod, I’m too fucked up to cook or shoot it, my hands are shaking too badly. He ties the scarf from around his neck around his arm and makes the veins on his hand stand out. He slips the needle into one but he doesn’t get a flashback. “Shit,” he mumbles. “This is why I didn’t want to do you first; didn’t want to keep poking you.” He tries again but it’s not until the third time that he sticks himself that he gets the syringe into his vein correctly. He shoots the brown liquid into his vein and a few seconds later slumps back against the bed next to my feet. “So much fucking better,” he sighs. “I thought I might have a heart attack if I didn’t get my heart slowed down!” He looks up at me and sees that I still can’t breathe right and that tears are now streaming down my face and he sits up and quickly has my dose cooked up and drawn into the second needle. He ties my arm with the same scarf and since he can still use the veins in the crook of my arm he does. He pierces the skin and draws the plunger back; bingo. I watch the red liquid swirl with the brown inside the syringe and it looks beautiful in the lamplight; liquid heaven. He slowly pushes the plunger down while I untie the scarf and a few seconds later all traces of panic are gone from my body. No more shaking, no more labored breathing, no more fear; just bliss. Just then Duff opens the door and sees Izzy and I laying around in a way that only those who are truly high can it’s so relaxed. He sees the spoon and the syringes and he looks so disappointed for a second. I look away from him and refuse to meet his eyes again but I’m not sorry I shot up; I needed it, I just can’t deal with this shit on my own.
I found another bottle of whiskey after the cops left. I remember something about Izzy and Nikki shooting something in the yard and then the tree outside of our window exploded. Cops came, Duff threw my bottle so they wouldn’t catch me with it since I was underage. At some point Duff and I passed out in the kitchen and when we came to the party had started up again. Then there was an awesome fight between Axl and Izzy and Izzy currently has Axl pinned to the ground in the backyard and he’s thrashing around and screaming and practically foaming at the mouth but Izzy never lets him up; he’s not even phased, must be the energy from all the coke he and Nikki shot up right before they blew up the tree which is what Tommy says Axl is pissed about. Duff, Tommy, Nikki and I are all sitting on the back steps drinking and watching the fight. Tommy bet Nikki $50 that Axl would kick Izzy off but he’s losing that bet so far. “Dude, is your singer part fucking wild dog or something?” Nikki laughs. Axl’s growling and trying to bite Izzy’s arm to get him off.
“He’s the bitch!” Tommy shrieks and starts giggling. The rest of us crack up too; it’s too funny not to laugh. Everything’s funny right now; one of the benefits of being this drunk! Some guy with a mustache and a suit walks up to Nikki and they greet each other like old friends. Duff and I watch, still giggling, as Axl finally gives up and goes upstairs followed by Izzy a few minutes later. Erin grabs Izzy’s arm as he walks through the kitchen but he shakes her off; annoyed. Huh, what the fuck is up with that? Nikki cuts off my thoughts and introduces the guy. “Guys, this is Tom Zutaut, he does A&R and publicity for Geffen. He used to work for us at Electra but he moved over to your company, skipped out on us because I fucked his girlfriend.”
The guy in the suit looks extremely uncomfortable for a second and I realize Nikki is totally serious; he did fuck the guy’s girlfriend! “Tom this is Duff, and Slash. Where are the other three degenerates?” he asks lighting up a cigarette and offering the rest of us one. Both Duff and I take one from the box and Duff lights mine as well as his. We talk with the dude for a few minutes since he’ll be working with us most likely. He says he’d like to meet the other guys from our band; Izzy and Axl are upstairs I know but no one has seen Steven for a while. Duff says he’ll go to look for him and I head up the stairs to take a piss and see if I can get the other two to come down and meet this Tom guy. When I come out of the bathroom Zutaut is standing in the hallway. I smile at him and say “Bathroom’s free.
“I didn’t want the bathroom,” he says, “I wanted to talk to you; it’s too loud down there to hear.”
“Me?” I ask nervously. This never ends well; guys like this never just want to talk to me; they always want something else.
“Yeah well, you’re the lead guitarist so you’ll be giving a lot of interviews and doing lots of the band’s publicity and you’re easy on the eyes; photographers are going to love you.” I try and back away a little but the guy grabs my arm and suddenly pulls me back and wedges me into a corner between the back wall and the bathroom door. “What are you willing to do for that kind of fame?” he asks. “The kind where millions of people know who you are?”
“Hey, get off me man!” I tell him. I might be drunk but not that drunk! “Geffen said all we had to do was make him gold records; nothing else!” I am not dealing with this kind of shit anymore; everyone but Duff needs to keep their fucking hands off of me! I try and push past him but he shoves me back into wall hard.
“Well Geffen’s not here and I control your publicity. Word all over town is that you and your boyfriend let the guys from Virgin fuck you up the ass for new instruments and a prospective deal. For the kind of promotion your band needs to be as big as Motley you got a lot of work to do and I hear you’re the sweetest piece of ass in town.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you heard but you’re not getting anything out of me so move and let me go back downstairs. Maybe Geffen should hear about tonight,” I tell him and try and get around him.
“Like he’d believe a little degenerate junkie like you over me,” he laughs. I feel angry tears starting to form in the corners of my eyes. Fuck I am not going to cry in front of this guy.
“Let me go!” I growl and try and get past him but he grabs my hair and pulls me back and shoves me into the wall again.
“I hear you’ve got a fucking huge cock too; like Tommy’s almost, why don’t you let me see it?” he wheedles and his hand cups my crotch squeezing a little. “Feels like that might be the truth,” he says his fingers feeling me through my pants.
“Get off me!” I tell him and move his hand away but he pins one arm above my head and replaces that hand on my dick with his other one. I’m fighting against him and manage to get around him but I’m so drunk I don’t make it very far and he corners me again against Izzy’s door. Suddenly the door flies open and I stumble back into Izzy and Axl’s bedroom. Izzy catches me and pushes me behind him and I fall into Axl and grab his shirt. He pries my fingers off of him and sits me down on the bed.
“Settle down kid!” he hisses.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Izzy growls. Zutaut throws his hands up and whispers “Ok, we were just having a little fun.”
“Didn’t look like fun to me, you having fun Slash?” Izzy asks. I shake my head and curl up into a ball on the bed. “He wasn’t having a good time,” Izzy says in that cool voice of his. “Get the fuck out of here!” Zutaut nods and takes off down the hall. Izzy turns to me and asks “You alright man?”
I just nod again and at that second Duff appears in the doorway. Izzy tells him what happened and I watch as absolute fury fills Duff’s eyes. “Izzy you need to show me who he is because I’m going to kick his ass” Duff growls. I know that there’s no stopping him so I don’t even try; I don’t care if he kills the fucker.
A few minutes later Izzy reappears and sits down next to me. I’m shaking, breathing hard, Axl’s sitting in front of me and trying to get me to breathe evenly. “Izzy, I whisper, help me.” He knows exactly what I mean and he looks at me and shakes his head. “No, you spent all those days being sick as fuck to get sober; I’m not fucking that up.
“I don’t need it forever, just tonight, please? If you don’t give me some I’ll go get it from somewhere else! I’m sure Sixx can get me some! It’s just that it’ll take a while and I had one of those panic attacks that Duff has this morning and it’s starting again, make it stop Izz! Please make it stop!” I beg him, gasping for air. His huge coked out eyes look at me and he shakes his head but he starts pulling stuff out from under the bedrails.
“Just breathe kid, in and out, really deep,” he says kneeling down in front of me and placing a spoon and lighter on the table between the beds. He digs back in his pockets for a couple of folds of smack and dumps one in the spoon. He reaches under the bed and pulls out a water bottle and empties some into the spoon. Some people think you need lemon juice but really water works fine. He cooks up a shot and I’m thinking itÂ’s mine and reaches up under the frame rail of the bed and pulls out two rigs. “Kid I gotta do myself first; I can’t shoot you up on this coke; I don’t want to miss ok?” I nod, I’m too fucked up to cook or shoot it, my hands are shaking too badly. He ties the scarf from around his neck around his arm and makes the veins on his hand stand out. He slips the needle into one but he doesn’t get a flashback. “Shit,” he mumbles. “This is why I didn’t want to do you first; didn’t want to keep poking you.” He tries again but it’s not until the third time that he sticks himself that he gets the syringe into his vein correctly. He shoots the brown liquid into his vein and a few seconds later slumps back against the bed next to my feet. “So much fucking better,” he sighs. “I thought I might have a heart attack if I didn’t get my heart slowed down!” He looks up at me and sees that I still can’t breathe right and that tears are now streaming down my face and he sits up and quickly has my dose cooked up and drawn into the second needle. He ties my arm with the same scarf and since he can still use the veins in the crook of my arm he does. He pierces the skin and draws the plunger back; bingo. I watch the red liquid swirl with the brown inside the syringe and it looks beautiful in the lamplight; liquid heaven. He slowly pushes the plunger down while I untie the scarf and a few seconds later all traces of panic are gone from my body. No more shaking, no more labored breathing, no more fear; just bliss. Just then Duff opens the door and sees Izzy and I laying around in a way that only those who are truly high can it’s so relaxed. He sees the spoon and the syringes and he looks so disappointed for a second. I look away from him and refuse to meet his eyes again but I’m not sorry I shot up; I needed it, I just can’t deal with this shit on my own.
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