FicWad

Axl

Izzy was right, Erin being on the road was going to cause too much shit. I was nice about it and seemed to understand. I told her she could come out for a few days here and there. I did have an image to uphold. So I dropped her off at the Greyhound and went back to the hotel. I had barely made it back when a knock came to my door.

I opened it to see Izzy. He was standing there like he was about to unravel.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I ask him with raised eyebrows.

He darts into the room and starts pacing. "Me, Slash, and Duff saw a doctor this morning."

"Oh dont tell me it's food poisoning, or something contagious," I sigh.

Izzy nervously chews his thumbnail as he paces. "Was supposed to be so we could get our shit together. You know with the drinking and dope...gave us a shitload of pills and patches and shit."

"Seriously Izz?" I ask in surprise.

He nods, "But the shit ain't workin Axe."

I look up at him and see terror in his wide eyes. "Yeah, I took the fucking antidepressant, took the Valium...three of them. Stuck on this patch thing thats supposed to be for smack withdrawl...wasn't workin so I put on another...look at me. The shit's not working. I still feel like I'm gonna puke. I'm not shaking and shit, but It still fucking hurts all over. I can't do a show like this. I've gotta fix...there's just no way..."

I grasp his shoulders and look into his eyes. "Izzy...did it ever occur to you that your body has gotten so used to so much of that shit that no other man made drug is going to come close to making you feel like you think you should? Come on, look how many years you've been on that shit. Your body knows it. You just have to put mind over matter. You have to be the stronger one over the smack. You went to the trouble to finally go to a doctor and ask for help. Let that mean something Izz. Fucking try to fight this shit. Trust me, you look a hell of a lot better than you do when you have to do it cold turkey. You're not sweating much. You aren't twitching and shaking. Not scratching. This is good, it's doing something, even if you aren't feeling high. I'm really proud of you for this Angel," I gently lean in and give him a soft lingering kiss to closed lips.

"Better watch out, Erin will probably bust in any moment," Izzy rolls his eyes.

"I sent her back to LA on a bus this morning. She took it better than I imagined. Of course I had to agree to her meeting up with us a few times out on the road."

"You do that because you wanted to or did you do that for me?" He asks.

I shrug, "Little bit of both I guess."

Izzy seems relieved for a second before he is hovering over and clutching his stomach.

"You ok Izz?" I know its a stupid question the moment the words come out of my mouth. Of course he wasn't ok.

He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. "Fireball, I can't do this. It hurts too bad."

"Oh suck it up Isbell," I point a finger at him. "Youre going to give this shit a try for at least a fucking week. And those other two had better do it too. I swear to fucking god Izzy if you puss out on this I'll get management to throw your asses in rehab! How much fun would cold turkey be huh? And lets not forget all the talk of higher powers and all that religious stuff you love so much," I smirk.

"You wouldn't," he glares at me.

"Wanna try me Izz?" I just give him a sarcastic smile.

He shakes his head in defeat. "I can't do it Fireball."

"Yes you can because I'm gonna be right beside you every step of the time ranting in your ear every fucking time you think about it. And don't think I can't read your mind...you so know I can."

"Axe," he says with a pause, "I gotta have a reason to do this...I gottta know you will stay with me."

I smile, "Have I left you yet? Completely just left for any longer than a few weeks? Why the fuck would I leave when I'm finally getting my way on something. So don't worry about that shit. You have me. I'm not going anywhere. Not ever. I love you."

Izzy nuzzles his aching body into mine and I wrap my arms around him. I can hear him softly sobbing. "Don't be scare Angel, it'll all be perfect in the end."

"I'm really really scared Axe," he whispers, "Scared like the first time I ever let you..."

"Shhhh, there's no need to be afraid of something thats just going to make everything better. Being sober will be so good Izz. You may not remember what you were like back then, but I do. I miss that guy Jeff."

"That guy was a nobody," Izzy smirks.

I smile at him and give him another soft kiss. "He was someone to me. Someone who made me fall in love and chase my dreams. Dont ever say that guy was nobody, that guy was you. That's still who is inside you. Behind Izzy Stradlin's guitar and smack habits you, Jeff Isbell. And I think it would be great to get to hang out with the guy again."

"I'll try Axe...but..."

"No buts. Just fight for this like you fought for this band. Your Fireball ain't going nowhere. I promise. Just really gve this a shot...for you...for us."