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The dawn found Severus awake, caressing Zelda, memorizing her with all of his senses. His scholarly passion for precision, combined with the joy of loving her, made him a formidable lover. He was bemused and doubtful at first, but their connection told him that Zelda had never known this intense joy before. Her wonder at the intuitive pleasure he gave her told him more about her late marriage than she could ever have verbalized, and pleasing her, in turn, delighted him.

Zelda brushed her lips lightly across his, and the sudden tingle brought another faint smile to his harsh features. She placed her hands on his cheeks, studying his face. "I adore the way you look," she said, "I especially love your splendid nose, dear boy. It's so perfectly you."

His black eyes met her loving gaze doubtfully, and he saw that she was utterly serious. She kissed his hooked nose, and said irritably, "Oh Goddess, you still believe you're so ugly. What idiot could say that of wonderful old you?"

Her indignation soothed the old bitterness, but still he told her... "James Potter and his charming friends, dear girl. Also known as "The Marauders."

"As in The Marauder's Map?" she asked, eyeing him intently.

"Precisely. It was four against one during my school years," he explained. "Potter's dear father and his best friend, Sirius Black - Potter's godfather, were the ringleaders," Severus spat the words out, but something made him hesitate to list all of his grievances.

"It was long ago," said Zelda tentatively. "Er... faults on both sides, maybe?"

Pain caused Severus to respond viscerally, forcing the memory of a hateful June day into Zelda's mind. Four teenage boys had attacked an equally young Severus, suspending him upside down in midair, while insulting and tormenting him. No bystander intervened, except a red-haired girl with Harry Potter's eyes. When Severus snarled at her, out of deep humiliation, she too walked away. Zelda watched as James Potter then stripped Severus of his underpants... exposing him completely, while the bystanders roared with laughter.

He was unprepared for Zelda's rage. "I hate them!" she snarled, blue eyes blazing. Severus withdrew his memory, but her fury on his behalf; though coming over twenty years later, soothed his shame... even as he hated seeing that bitter anger in her eyes.

"Ah, I am sorry, Zelda. I should not have done it," Severus said, deeply remorseful. "As you said, it was long ago."

"Nice school you have there..." she snapped disgustedly. "How were they punished?" At his lack of response, she glared and slowly said, "You didn't tell anyone, did you? They got away with it! Oh, Sev... that they could do that and not be punished..." Outraged tears sprang to her eyes. "What happened to them?" she asked, her furious eyes still holding his.

He shrugged. "Potter became Head Boy in seventh year, and married Lily Evans," he said, "You know the rest. Remus Lupin, the prefect who refused to stop his friends, is a werewolf, and a member of the Order. He barely scrapes by. Peter Pettigrew," Severus curled his lip in disgust, "the fat boy who laughed loudest, betrayed the Potters to the Dark Lord. Two years ago he helped the Dark Lord regain his body. Currently, he infests my own house, a spy set on me by the Dark Lord, ostensibly to 'assist' me."

His voice grew softer. "Sirius Black was accused of betraying the Potters and murdering Pettigrew, and spent twelve years in Azkaban prison. He escaped, developed a close relationship with Harry Potter, his godson. He was killed last year by his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange."

Zelda looked away, heartsick, understanding somewhat now, what had formed Severus's life. It felt claustrophobic, so filled with meanness and darkness, and if she felt despair hearing it...what had it been like for Severus to live it?

"In the future, I'll try to keep my mouth shut about things I don't understand," Zelda said, "I'm glad you told me... and sorry I was a sanctimonious idiot."

Severus kissed her. "You are my own personal Healer, Zelda. At this moment I feel extremely fortunate."

He kissed her chin, and lingeringly kissed her neck. "Perhaps I should simply learn to accept a compliment, no matter how outrageous it seems to me," he said, "It delights me that you love the way I look, my sweet girl, although I have to admit that delight still rather terrifies me." He then applied all of his expertise to make her forget his miserable past, and to forget it himself as he made love to her.

It was still early when Zelda woke again, and she watched Severus as he slept. He was deeply relaxed, even snoring lightly. It was such a lovely, ordinary sound to her ears, so far removed from war, spying and intrigue.

His long-ago memory haunted her. Zelda knew teenage boys; she had raised one of her own. She could not imagine how Severus had been able to face his tormentors afterward, seeing no consequences for them... whilst humiliation raged through him. She didn't know what else had happened to him, but he had suffered in his life. She began to have a better understanding of how this brilliant and rigidly honorable man could have come to be a Death Eater.

That he had the strength to change sides, and to oppose the Dark Lord, was not surprising to her. She could see his fierce determination. She blessed the late Albus Dumbledore for having accepted Severus back, and for offering him a way to work against Voldemort. With no way to atone, she felt sure that Severus could not have gone on living.

Zelda sighed; she noticed that the worried crease between his eyebrows had completely disappeared. He looked so peaceful that she began easing out of bed, thinking of coffee, but Severus woke instantly and pulled her close, asking, "Where are you going, my girl?"

Blue eyes met smiling black eyes, and Zelda rubbed her cheek against his, saying, "I wanted to let you sleep longer."

Severus said, "You take care of me, my girl. No one does that... and I love that you do it, but I wish I could take care of you."

A fleeting shadow passed across her face, and vanished as she tossed back the covers and said, "Come with me, dear boy. Perhaps we'll have some peace before the creatures wake up."

So much had passed between them in the last hours that Severus had forgotten that Potter and his ghastly friends were present in the house. His scowl would have made his first years wet themselves from terror, but Zelda's slow smile reminded him that he wasn't at Hogwarts any more.

"Sev, it's okay," Zelda said softly. "Hey... did you forget about last night? Look at your arm."

He had forgotten. He looked cautiously at the arm he had used to hate. The Mark was gone, replaced by now slightly puckered scar tissue. Zelda gently kissed the spot, saying, "It seems you can come and go as you please from now on. If the Dark Lord dislikes it, blame it on Darling Bella." She wrinkled her nose in mock disgust. "Since you're such a super evil guy that Bellatrix is jealous of you, perhaps you can avoid being branded again like the lesser livestock."

He chuckled, but seriously considered the debating point she offered him. He hated the thought of being marked again. "If I must do it, I will," he said evenly.

"Of course you will," she responded gravely, and he saw that she did know. "You may be killed if you refuse. Or perhaps they'll respect you if you say you're above that rubbish, and reserve the right to come and go at your discretion... if the Dark Lord buys it."

He looked quizzically at her. "I am intrigued, dear girl. Have you any other suggestions for me on how to deal with the Dark Lord?"

Zelda sighed, "Don't make fun of me," she said, "My first hand experience of megalomaniacal wizards is nonexistent, but I've shared the world with a mentally ill ex-husband. Understanding a person who operates in a different universe isn't such a stretch for me."

She grew thoughtful. "You're the expert, and if I'm off base, ignore me and I won't be offended." She winked at him. "Be a bit unpredictable now, but not too much or you'll be too threatening. Don't speak unless you have to, don't grovel unless your life depends on it, but when you must, grovel brilliantly."

"For a woman who has never done this, you have remarkable insight into it," Severus responded slowly. "If he had known, I fear Dumbledore would have recruited you."

"If your stupid Dark Lord gets his way, it'll be disastrous for everyone, won't it?" Zelda asked. "I wish there were something I could do to help you."

"Besides saving my life, and being the only woman who loves me? Being my friend?" Severus said, "I have never known happiness, my girl, until you." He hugged her, kissed her tousled curls, and said, "You mentioned coffee. If we are very stealthy, perhaps we can drink it in peace."

Zelda laughed and said, "If those kids are normal teenagers, they were up most of the night and they're sound asleep now... We can hope." Her blue eyes danced, and she said, "I washed your Bob Marley shirt, why don't you wear that today?"

Mindful of Severus saying that she hadn't put on a dress for him, she put on a cotton sundress with blue flowers that matched her eyes, although she felt a bit silly. She saw Severus watching her in the mirror as she brushed her hair. He said, "I like this dress even better than the one yesterday, my girl."

They entered the kitchen and glanced into the living room where Harry, Ron and Hermione slept soundly on the pull out sofa bed. The TV had been resurrected, and Zelda was amused to see that Elijah's Nintendo games had been discovered. She smiled, "They'll sleep longer."

She made coffee, filled two mugs, and led him out the back door to where two chairs waited. He hadn't realized they would go outside, and he was barefoot. The sensation of walking in dewy grass was not unpleasant, but he felt very vulnerable. They sat down, and as their eyes met, she realized the strangeness of it for him.

"You're on holiday, dear boy. It doesn't hurt to let your skin breathe once in a while. I don't think anyone will attack you now, so relax..." She rubbed her foot against his, another pleasant sensation, and they smiled at each other.

"Perhaps your guests will," said Severus cynically.

"No they won't," Zelda responded casually. "I gave Harry the wand warning. It's fine." She sipped her coffee and smiled.

"Dare I ask what that means?" He asked, wondering what warning a Muggle could effectively use against a wizard.

"Well, bear in mind that Harry's obviously a decent boy. So I looked sternly at him, and said that if I saw the wand raised aggressively, he'd be in big trouble." Her eyes twinkled as he began to laugh.

"The... wand... warning!" he gasped ecstatically, "My darling, you are utterly mad!" He had never heard of such a marvelous, absurd thing.

"Did you ever read P.G. Wodehouse?" Zelda asked brightly. "It's what Jeeves calls 'the psychology of the individual'." She waited until Severus regained control, and continued, "If I were knowingly faced with a hostile wizard, I think I'd shriek, 'OMIGOD! A giant spider!' and run like mad. But Harry's about my son's age, and he was completely flummoxed when he saw me at the door. I used my best no-nonsense, mother voice on him and he caved."

Severus held out his hand and said, "Come here." He pulled her into his lap. "What a dangerous witch you are, my love," he said, "With your own outrageous Muggle magic."

She eyed him appraisingly, put their cups down in the grass, and said, "You're not actually allergic to sunshine, are you?"

He eyed her nervously, and said, "No. Er... Why do you ask?"

"Come here," Zelda replied, and led him to the hammock in the dappled shade of an oak tree. "Take off your shirt, please."

"Here?" Severus replied, suddenly breathless, his heart pounding madly.

"Do you trust me?" she asked, eyes sparking mischievously.

It was a challenge, and he responded by pulling the shirt off and dropping it on the ground. He stood stiffly in front of her, like a frightened animal, she thought sadly.

"We're alone, Severus," she told him gently. "It feels different out here, doesn't it?" She ran her hands all over his bare skin, admiring the taut muscle and the fine black hair of his chest, and the smooth skin of his back. She offered him her thoughts and his heart began pounding for another reason entirely, and when she invited him down into the hammock with her, he went willingly, still nervous... but deeply excited.

"What are you doing?" Severus whispered. "I have never... oh, darling girl," he breathed, "Zelda... not here..."

"Shhh.... I thought so." Slowly she began kissing him all over his chest and moved up to kiss his neck, and his mouth, laughing. "It's remarkable, isn't it, to feel so aroused in a public place?"

"Remarkable indeed," he breathed, as her hands moved down to his waist, where she slid one inside the waistband of his jeans and caressed him. He felt helpless, completely exposed, and realized that his best defense was to render her similarly vulnerable.

He unbuttoned her dress and saw she was not wearing anything underneath. He cupped a hand under her breast and squeezed it, smiling shakily when she caught her breath. He exposed her other breast. She smiled wryly as he pushed the dress down to her waist, and began tracing patterns on her skin with his lips. His self-control returned as he concentrated on undoing the rest of Zelda's clothing.

"You've just taken this to a more controversial level, dear boy," Zelda whispered, moaning as his mouth found one sensitive spot after another. She was running her fingers through his lank, black hair, delighting in the feel of it as it fell forward on her skin. "Oh, Sev... please stop and talk to me."

They gazed at each other, desire blazing in their eyes. "I should have thought it through before starting this," she said, hands on his chest, although she did not push him away. She caressed him instead, hands moving up to his neck, fingers stroking his ears, and he felt the balance between them begin to shift.

"It is not always wise to over-think things," Severus said levelly, his mouth finding her nipples. He moved back and forth between them, and she was growing completely lost in desire.

She laughed breathlessly, weakly, and Severus murmured mockingly, "You are not wearing anything under this, are you?"

"Not a thing," Zelda said, failing at the airy tone she tried to affect. "I thought it could wait until later."

Severus responded by pulling up her skirt a bit, and sliding his hand between her thighs. He smiled wickedly, moving slowly on until he found proof that she would not say no if he said yes. Against the wishes of her logical mind, her legs slid apart helplessly. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted. He glanced at the silent house, then down at Zelda. She saw his mad decision, and moaned, "Oh... no, you can't... we can't... Oh..."

"Shall I continue, darling? Yes or no?" Severus murmured triumphantly, having turned the tables on her. He'd felt he'd go mad if he waited, but insisted she surrender completely in this crazy game.

"Please... yes..." she panted, and he looked down, directing her to unzip his jeans. Her hands were trembling, but she obediently reached out and unzipped his pants, wrenching them down without another thought for the rest of the world.

Abandoning his own common sense, Severus made love to Zelda outdoors, so lost in the moment that he didn't notice when her dress vanished, just like her old bathrobe did before...

&&&&&&&

Severus was no longer conscious of being shirtless as he entered the house, and then guiltily signaled to Zelda. She was wearing his shirt and nothing else. As they headed for her bedroom, Harry walked drowsily out of the bathroom. His eyes widened when he saw Severus, and bulged at the sight of the semi-naked Zelda, tugging vainly at the hem of Snape's shirt. Zelda frowned and pointed toward the living room. Harry obeyed, turning promptly and fleeing, whilst Zelda blushed crimson as she closed the bedroom door.

Her laughing eyes met his horrified ones, and she said ironically, "I don't do dignity well, dear boy. I'm sorry... and thank you." Her smile was luminous. "I'll remember that as long as I live."

Severus looked at her, wearing only a t-shirt that barely covered her, and said severely, "You are completely mad, Zelda! How could you? It was disgraceful and... splendid too, darling girl. I adore you, come here."

They sank into bed, breathless with the memory of it. "Take your shirt back," Zelda said, pulling it off. "I don't want it." He gathered her into his arms, laughing helplessly.

"I never knew it was possible to be as close as we are," Zelda said carefully. "You probably haven't trusted anyone for a very long time, yet I think you trust me, don't you?

Severus nodded, wishing he could trust her in the way he sensed that she trusted him.

"It's okay, Sev," said Zelda, "You are what you are, and I love you. If you'll bear with me, I'll tell you why I did it."

"You're the toughest person I've ever known, but you deeply fear being exposed, physically, emotionally or mentally. Although I understand why, it's a weakness. Bellatrix Lestrange incapacitated you easily, and she won't forget it."

Zelda glanced at Severus, and he was listening closely. "I was hoping to desensitize you a bit. I wanted to cry when you actually took off your shirt for me, dear boy." She smiled shyly at him and continued, "But next time I feel a brilliant idea coming on... perhaps I'll tell you first."

"Perhaps you should, my girl," Severus frowned, just to test the effect of it on her, and she looked back, chastened.

"Did you think I'd hurt or embarrass you?" Zelda asked, worried. "Because I didn't mean to... I wouldn't..."

"Actually, I did know it," he said, startled at his realization. "It is not you. But my whole life... Zelda, if I had found you long ago I would be a different man, but I am still alive now because I do not trust people."

Severus struggled to verbalize his unfamiliar feelings. "You feel familiar, as if I have always known you. This disturbs me far more than facing my enemies." His brow furrowed, and he said, "I was not afraid to die before this, but now... I want to live, and I want to be with you. But I should not want that, I have a job to do."

"We can only control our actions," said Zelda. "You're the only one who can do your job, and people will die if you don't do it. If I could lighten your burden I'd gladly do so," she added. "I'm happy that you want to stay, but I do know you have to go."

A knock on the door made them both jump, and Zelda grabbed the comforter. "What is it?" she called.

"Breakfast..." Harry's nervous voice answered.

"We'll be right there," said Zelda, rolling her eyes resignedly and handing Severus his shirt.