FicWad

Erin

Axl's on to me. I'm not being clever enough. Nikki really underestimated him.He said he was a jealous love sick fool. He told me it would actually bring a weird romance into his and Izzy's love life. Hell he underestimated Izzy. He told me Izzy was just some junkie who wouldn't even get in the way. Nikki promised me this would be simple. He promised me that the world would know who I was if I just stay on Axl's arm long enough. I don't think Nikki factored in the fact that Axl might fucking hit me. I want to hit Nikki for letting him talk me into this whole fucked up arrangement.

It was bad enough to be fucking over one guy, but two? It's a shame Axl and Izzy are conjoined twins. What can I say? Excess is just a way of life for Nikki. Persuasion is another. I wanted to say no. I tried to say no...but Nikki can do some really amazing things with his mouth. Amazing enough to make me say yes to his grand scheme.

And what exactly is his scheme? Nikki is bored. He says it's lonely at the top. He says that everyone just pretends to be your friend. He say's he's seen the world. Says that soon some band will come along and replace them, it was just the natural order of things. Well Nikki likes to fuck with the natural order of things. So he is choosing the band that will one day outshine his own. He says they need a crash course in how this business works. He's giving them a push and a boost, even though it seems he's being a prick. Honestly its the most benevolent thing I think Nikki has ever done.

He told me that at some point they would turn on him. Well forcing Duff to get married was that turning point. Right now they want to kill Nikki. I can't say I don't want to jump on that band wagon too. It's Nikki's fault I'm lying alone in the dark with a throbbing jaw. He has some serious ass kissing to do from his knees with me for this one.

Suddenly I hear the door open and tears start to form in my eyes. I know Axl is back and I'm afraid he will just hit me some more. I know he ran off to Izzy. Izzy probably pissed him off...now guess who he gets to vent it on.

I squeeze my eyes shut and pretend to be asleep. I feel the side of the bed dip down next to me. I can hear the lamp click on. It's quiet for a moment, then I hear a sigh. Then I feel scratchy fingers glide across my swollen jaw. It causes me to open my eyes. Those were not Axl's fingers. Those fingers hoped belonged to a man who played a stringed instrument. Dark hazel eyes look me over intently. Eyebrows scrunched forward seem to show concern. His light touch continues over my jaw.

"Izzy?" I ask and sit up a bit.

His eyes quickly float away. "You ok?" He softly asks and pulls out a cigarette.

"Do I look ok? Your psycho boyfriend did this shit," I motion at my jaw.

He inhales deeply with a nod. "He told me."

"So what...did you come to fucking get the other side?" I snap. My jaw aches as I do. I quickly draw my hand up to it and wince.

"Its pretty swollen...could use some ice. I think makeup will cover the bruise. You're lucky you're a chick and can hide the bruises." His voice is oddly hollow and soft. His mind seems to be drifting elsewhere. And for some reason he won't look at me.

"Does he do this to you too?" I meekly ask.

Staring at the floor he simply exhales with a nod. "Sometimes...yeah."

"What do you do when he does?"

"I hit the fucker back if I can...no offense darlin but I think you'd only accomplish pissing him off more if you try that approach. Axl can take a pretty mean fucking punch. If you hit him back it will just set him off. He hates to be pinned down, but again, not something you can do."

"Then what do you do when there's noting you can do?" I sigh.

Izzy reaches down to his boot. He pulls out a syringe and looks at it in his hand. "I take care of the pain."

"H...heroin? That's your answer?" I ask.

He glances at me briefly and nods. "It makes it stop hurting...inside and out...makes it easier to look at the bruises in the morning."

"But if Axl found out he'd kill us both."

Izzy smirks. "Well...Axl's having an extended business meeting with Sixx at the moment. I wouldn't look for you to have to face him until morning...if he comes back at all."

I watch the syringe he fumbles around in his fingers. "Will it hurt?"

"No," he simply shakes his head. "Its just like a shot a doctor gives you...just way cooler."

I glance down at my arm and hesitantly stretch it out to him. He gives me a tender smile and positions himself to face me more. He takes me by the elbow and pulls the cap of the syringe off with his teeth. He wraps the phone cord around my arm three times. His eyes look into mine for a moment. His fingers trace my forearm gently.

"You ready?" He softly asks.

I just nod and hold my breath as he comes at me with the needle. Before I even know it the needle has sunk into my skin and my blood is clouding his golden mixture. He slowly begins to push down on the plunger. I feel nothing until the needle is gone and the phone cord gets removed from my arm. A warmth floods me and explodes inside my head. My eyes feel heavy and I slump down into the bed. I have become one with it.

I barely notice Izzy looking at me. I barely feel him look over my jaw again. I've slipped into this hole and he was right...nothing hurts anymore. Nothing seems relevant enough to matter. Now I understood why Nikki and Izzy were junkies.

Izzy rolls me to my side and shoves a pillow behind my back. "Try to stay on your side in case you get sick. Just get some rest." he strokes my hair and my cheek in a manner so unlike every other time he has touched me. I would be baffled if I wasn't so high. Then he befuddles me further by gently kissing my lips. "Good night darlin...sleep well."

I guess he leaves after that because I remember nothing until the next morning.