FicWad

Duff

It's 4am when a plane returns me to my band in Omaha. I'm wired to the fucking gills. The only good thing I can say about my new wife is she has awesome drugs. But as soon as my feet hit the ground all I can think about is my Curly Sue.

I have a slight clue as to the pain he's in because I'm feeling it too. It really wouldn't surprise me if Slash is smacked out. I know that would be what he would most likely do to himself because of this bullshit. Fuck Nikki with a rubber dildo! I would have my revenge on that son of a bitch. Mark. My. Words.

But not tonight.

As soon as we walk into the hotel management hands me the key to our room. I glance at it and toss it to Mandy.

"Goodnight honey," I say and head for the elevator.

"Where are you going?" she asks me.

"You got what you wanted, now its my turn to get what I want," I dryly remark.

"Well what am I supposed to do?" She whines a little.

I shrug, "Go fuck Sixx...Ill be in Slash's room if you need me. See ya in the morning," I wave as the elevator doors shut leaving her there alone in confusion.

I swear I have just stepped into the slowest elevator on the face of the earth. I think I could have gotten to Slash's floor faster by the stairs. I nervously bounce about in the elevator. I wipe my nose. I fluff my hair. I straighten my shirt. I adjust my dick. Is this fucking elevator ever going to goddamn open?

When it finally does I bolt out of it like my ass is on fire. I immediately run into Izzy. I ask him how Slash is and he’s a little weird about it but tells me to go take care of him and gives me some valium and tells me that I look like I need some sleep. He reassures me I’ll find open arms waiting for me which means Izzy must have been taking care of him at some point and I thank him for it. He nods and says he has to to take care of Axl who’s off fighting with Nikki on mine and Slash’s behalf. I find Slash's room. just barely sticking out from under the edge of the door was the key. I smile to myself knowing that he must be expecting me. I quickly scoop it up and unlock the door.

Inside it's dark and quiet. I can just make out Slash's balled up form in the bed. I go over and sit beside him. He draws in his breath but it doesn't wake him. I sit there and just watch him sleep for a long while. This was the only time I ever saw that innocence that always drew me to him. Too many bad things had robbed my poor baby of his innocence. It was too fucking much too fast and I feel like I should have done more to fucking protect him.

I glance down at the gold band on my finger. How the fuck can I protect him from this? How is he going to feel being the "other" person? I have fucking reduced him to being a mistress without ever first asking his consent. Is he going to hate me for this? Right now I hate me for this. Why shouldn't he?

My fingers can't resist playing with one of his curls. I twirl it around my finger and continue basking in the beauty of his peaceful sleep. I don't want to wake him. I just want to crawl into his arms and ball up and cry. I didn't want to tell him how lousy the sex with my fucking wife was. I didn't want him to look at me and clearly see that I haven't slept since he saw me last. I felt so dirty and ashamed. I cheated on him. It fucking hurt like hell the first time when Axl made me, but this...Nikki elevated this beyond cheating. Now no one is going to see it as me cheating on Slash. Now it's looked at as adultery. That bastard Sixx elevated this shit to biblical fucking purportions. I wanted to take Izzy's gun and shoot him in the fucking head. I wanted to hold him down and let Tommy have his way with him. I wanted the smug fuck to overdose and fucking die!

I cant resist the urge to touch Slash's peaceful face. He hasn't shaved since I left. If I could see his arms I know they would be bruised up. A smile crosses his lips as he shifts in the bed. He softly mumbles my name. A tear rolls down my cheek and I have to touch his lips with mine.

When I move away he opens his eyes.

"Hey," I dorkishly say not having a fucking clue of what else to say.

Slash doesn't say anything either. His eyes seem to look everywhere but at me. I can feel him fumble with the ring on my finger. He slides it off my finger and lays it on the night stand. He sits up. His hand tugs me by the back of my neck and he kisses me like the first fucking time all over again. Whimpers and tears come pouring out of me as I try to reciprocate his kiss. I'm failing miserably I think.

"Shhhh...it's ok Duffie...It's going to be ok now," he sounds so genuinely sure about that. He seems so understanding and unhurt. I know it's just a brave act for my benefit. "It's over now. You're back here with me...just let it go. We'll be ok. we'll get through this together. I love you Duff. No band of gold is going to make me stop. When we are together that ring comes off...ok?"

I nod and dry my tears. "I love you so much."

"I love you," he whispers and rubs a tear away with his thumb. "Don't you cry for us baby. We are going to be just fine. I promise."

But was that even a possible promise at this point? Slash pulls my shirt off and wraps me up in his arms. I've been aching to feel his touch, but in this moment my guilt has virtually rendered me impotent.

"Just relax," he whispers into my ear, "I have no expectations of you baby. Im not going to make you perform like some circus animal. I just want to hold you and make you feel better. I know how fucked up your head must be. You're the one who had to get married."

"I shouldn't have done it," I shake my head. "I should have fucking said no. I should have just walked away from this stupid band. I should have beat the shit out of Nikki...I haven't ruled that out yet...I...I"

"I'm not laying any blame here babe," he says soothingly as he rocks us a bit. "If it would have been me I would have done it too...you know I would have...for the band, for us. We can't walk away from this shit now...It's too late to quit. We can't quit. We just have to weather the storm."

Somehow in this moment Slash is reminding me a lot of Izzy. So cool and calm and detached from the severity of the situation. Telling me so perfectly everything that I needed to hear.

"I just fucked her once to seal the deal...that's it. Nikki can't make me fuck her. I don't want her. I only want you. I missed you so fucking much." My lips beg for a kiss which he aptly delivers.

I want to make love to him but my fucking guilt just grows. Plus I can't help but notice the distance between us, despite being rocked in his arms. Something has changed since I left. Slash is doing one hell of an acting job, but it's not good enough. Some how I get the feeling that sex is the last thing on his mind right now. Which leaves me to wonder...what is on his mind?