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Duff is back. It’s the middle of the night when he comes in, I had left the key for him sticking out from under the door and I woke up to him stroking my face, which hasn’t been shaved for three days and had to feel all scraggly. “Duff, I whispered and smiled as he leaned over and kissed me. I opened my eyes and sat up and pulled him by the neck into my lips; It feels like it’s been so long and my heart is pouring into that kiss but he’s having a hard time reciprocating because he’s crying. I pull back and pull him into me and tell him it’s going to be ok and take the wedding ring off of this finger. I don’t want that thing anywhere near me.

He babbles for a few minutes about how he shouldn’t have done it and he wants to kill Nikki and he only fucked her once, how he hated her and all he wanted was me and how he shouldn’t have done it; well no shit. Eventually I shush him and tell him it’sok, that I love him anyway and that no band of gold is going to change that. I’m trying to stay calm for Duff the way Izzy was for me because nothing is going to change what’s happened and I do love him and I don’t know what else to say. I want to roll up into his arms and cry too but I had really needed Izzy to be strong for me and I want to be strong for Duff. My body is also screaming for him but I know what I did yesterday and I feel bad, not completely but I know it would break Duff’s heart but he’s broken mine more than once by not just stepping in or saying no and Izzy always makes me feel safe and cheers me up when Duff’s not around. Izzy’s been there for me to get me out of or help me through some bad shit and he’s a great friend so giving into what we both wanted yesterday was special for me. I know that’s horrible but it was and I don’t regret it at all except that it would hurt Duff. But right now my love is in my arms crying and we need to talk.

I rubbed Duff’s back softly, enjoying the warmth of his skin against mine and rocked us back and forth a little and let him cry out his exhausted, broken heart. “Shh baby, I love you so much, it was so hard when you were gone and I’m so glad you’re back,” I soothe kissing the top of his head. I’ve got you Duffy, it’s ok. Do you want to talk about it?” I ask him quietly knowing that for him talking helps even when it’s sometimes too many details for me and it hurts; but I know he needs to get it out. Then maybe I can cry and get petted a little.

“Yeah, can we talk about it please baby?” he mumbles into my neck.

“Of course we can; I know you’ll feel better if you talk about it,” I tell him nuzzling into him a little where his face is buried between my shoulder and my neck.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have, is it going to hurt you to talk about it?” he asks.

“Probably, but Duff you need to get it off your chest, I learned that the night that you…got hurt that you need to talk about things baby. Just…let me take of you Duffy, please, you can deal with me crying on your shoulder later. Just let me be there for you; and be there for me,” I manage to stammer out.
He sobs hard and I hold him tightly and stroke his hair. “That’s the problem, I wasn’t there for you! I haven’t been! I let so many bad things happen to you! It’s my fault you’re so sad, it’s my fault you’re a junkie, I let people ruin and take away that sweet innocence in you that I loved and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!

“Duffy what’s done is done and we can’t change it, and I don’t want to fight with you, I hate fighting with you. But honestly Duff sometimes I wish you would step up and say no things. You don’t always have to be the peacemaker you can say no when you really want you,” I whisper.

“I haven’t always done the best job of protecting you have I?” I don’t say anything which lets him know that I agrees with him. I just squeeze him tighter and kiss his forehead. “I’m sorry Curly Sue, I’m so sorry,” Duff sobs.

“It’s in the past baby, it’s over, we don’t need to think about that shit anymore we’re together right now and have the whole rest of our lives to be together and Mandy’s only for show like Erin and Angie. I hate what happened; that you married her and I hate her but it doesn’t matter because I love you and I know you love me too no matter what. So she doesn’t matter to me. Tell me what happened Duffy, it’ll make you feel better.”

“I don’t deserve you but I love you so much baby boy” He tells me and I lean down and kiss him and this time he’s able to kiss back.
“Don’t talk like that Duffy, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t want to be. You’re my heart and everything is going to be fine. Talk to me baby, tell me what happened; I’m here for you.

Duff sat up and took a deep breath. “Mandy’s Sixx’s drug mule; she’s got connections everywhere. I stayed drunk and high on pot and coke the whole time we were out there in Vegas. We barely spoke; I mean she would try and talk to me and get me to go out places but I didn’t want anything to do with her. I had sex with her the night of the wedding because if I didn’t she would have told Sixx and god knows what the retaliation would have been. It was awful; she wanted me to be into it but I couldn’t be. She wanted to kiss me but I couldn’t really do that either; kissing is personal and I couldn’t do it with her, I just wanted to feel your lips; a kiss that meant something and felt good. I just fucked her and got it over with as fast as I could. The rest of the time I spent trying to keep her off of me and gambling or sleeping. She actually seems disappointed like she expected I would want to be with her but I think she gets it it now. I hated the wedding itself, I was fucking high as a kite when I did it; I hated putting that fucking ring on her finger. All I could think about was you the whole time and how much you must be hurting. I’m guessing you’ve been shooting up the whole time?” he asks.

I sigh, “Duff, don’t give me a hard time, you left to get married and I was dying. I couldn’t hurt like that the whole time!”

“Did you get it from Izzy? He said he took care of you some.”

“Yeah, you know Izzy will make sure the shit is good and not cut with something dangerous. He got me to eat and made sure I slept. He took care of me. I’ve been worried about you. Wondering how you were coping. I was afraid you would drink too much and get hurt or do too much coke. I knew you’d be a mess.”

“I was afraid you’d od too; go to sleep and never wake up. I was afraid somebody would find you cold and dead. You feel so warm and good in my arms baby boy,” he tells me and leans over and kisses me. This time I manage to get him into the kiss and to relax a little.

I kiss him for a long time until I can feel him starting to press himself closer to me. I pull back and look at him; I want him so badly which makes me feel a little guilty but I love him and I want to show him that; I want to make him feel good and know that I still want him and that I still love him but I don’t know if he’s ready so I ask him. “Baby, can I make love to you?”

“You still want me?” he asks a little incredulously.

“Duffy I’m always going to want you; I just don’t want to push you, I know you’re hurting. If you want to just lay here with me it’s fine too, but just know that this” I take his hand and bring it to my hard on, “is for you.”

He groans slightly. “Jesus Christ you’re so sexy. I can’t turn that down, nobody in their right mind would want to turn that down,” he said smiling I brought our lips back together and moved my hands down to unbutton his jeans. I slid them down over his hips and he wriggled out of them. I did the same with my boxers and then rolled him over onto his back. “God it’s so good to look up and see your face above me, it’s all I’ve ever wanted, I missed you,“ he said.

“I missed you too beautiful, I whisper as I bend down to kiss him again. My kisses gradually move down his neck and his hands roam my body. My mouth yearns to suck his dick so I quickly kiss down his chest and lick a trail down past his belly button and I didn’t even tease him, I just took him into my mouth right away. I liked sucking his cock and I was craving the intimacy as well so feeling him in my mouth and tasting him made me groan.

Duff gasped and his hips snapped up towards my mouth. “Oh my god I’ve missed this,” he pants. “Your lips are so soft, shit I love it when you suck my dick.

I looked up and smiled. “I love the way you taste; and I like going down on you,” I said before swallowing him again. I took him deep into my throat and he reached down and fisted my hair and made a high pitched sound. I licked and sucked and teased him until he finally came deep in my throat saying my name in satisfaction and relief. I let go after I swallowed every drop of his cum and then moved up and kissed him. “I want you so bad,” I moaned in his ear.

“God I want to feel you inside of me,” he answered.

I reached for the bottle of lube in the nightstand drawer and put some on my fingers. Duff spread his legs wide for me and I laughed. “You’re such a slut when you
want fucked Duffy!”

“Hurry up already! He complained. “I need you; I’ve been wanting you for days!”

“Me too,” I say as I lean down to kiss him and work one finger into him. As our mouths melded together I managed to get two and three fingers inside of him. He winced a little but he said he was ok. Finally, once I’d teased him until his dick was hard again I put lube on my dick and lined it up with his entrance. “You ready?” I ask.

“Please baby boy,” he begged. “ I want you inside of me.” I slowly pushed into him and we both groaned.

“Fuck Duff, you’re so tight, it feels really good,” I whimper into his ear as my dick pulses inside of him. “I don’t know how long I can last Duffy.

“It’s ok, neither do I I feel like if you move and hit my prostate just once I might explode,” he tells me in a strained voice and

I feel his insides contract a little involuntarily. He pulls me down into a deep kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth and I begin to thrust slowly and I moan into his mouth and I feel him suck in his breath. I pull almost all of the way out and push in again; harder this time and Duff grunts and curls his hips into mine. “Do you like that?” I ask.

“Fuck yes! Do it harder, faster,” he pleads and I speed up the pace.

As we move together I feel happier than I have in days. I look down into my lover’s beautiful, tortured, tired eyes and say “I love you Duffy, I love you so much. He smiles, the first real smile I’ve seen out of him for days and says “I love you too Curly Sue.”

I kiss him again for about 30 seconds and then he pulls back and says “I’m gonna cum” and a few seconds later thick, white, cum sprays out onto his stomach and mine and his inner contractions push me over the edge and my body stiffens and my dick explodes inside of him and I groan out his name as I cum. When we’re done, completely satiated and are laying tangled up in each other exchanging sweet kisses I realize I feel complete again and I tell him. “Duff?”

“Hmm?”’ he hums a and places a soft kiss on my lips.

“I missed you; I don’t feel whole without you but now that you’re back I feel complete, my heart’s back,” I tell him.

“Yep, I get it, I feel the same way,” he tells me and we kiss and stroke each other’s faces until we drift into sleep.