FicWad

Axl

So it’s been pretty fucking interesting around here lately. Duff has been doctor ordered to take a break. Well if Duff gets a break, that means we all do. Fucking fine by me. I needed to spend some quality time with my dark angel anyway. It was way overdue. Fuck, when had we ever even had any together? Not since we were kids probably.

But Izzy has been reeling about what he had done to Duff and Slash. I mean Izzy literally shed tears over the shit. He’d look at the ring I put on him and just break down crying and begging for forgiveness. I had forgiven him so I think it’s their forgiveness he so desperately needs before he can forgive himself. So Izzy went into fucking savior mode.

The night the paramedics came for Duff caused a bit of commotion on our floor. Everyone was crammed in around Duff to see what was happening. Even Nikki couldn’t avoid the spectacle. Well with a whisper behind my ear I can hear Izzy say to me. “You keep that Sixx motherfucker right here.” And when I turned around Izzy was fucking already down the hall and heading for Nikki’s room.

So I made sure Nikki didn’t go directly back to his room until Izzy mysteriously reappears, no one even realized he was gone for a few minutes. When the excitement died down we made it back to my room. Izzy locks the door and turns to me with a smile. I’m just dying to know what my criminal has done to please himself so. He pulls a VHS tape from around his back. Ok, he has a movie? Oh wait! Is it?

“Is that the tape?” I motion to it.

Izzy nods, “And the fuck had it hidden real goddamn good so I know it’s the only copy he has. He wouldn’t hide it like that if he copies laying all over the fucking place. We fucking got him now.”

“Got him how?” I shrug.

“Come with me darlin,” he gleams as he turns for the door. I follow him down the hall and he stops at Slash’s door. He suddenly gets really nervous, like shaking and shit when he reaches up to knock at the door. I hear him draw in a deep breath and glance at me over his shoulder.

I rub his back and nod, “I got your back, no matter what.”

And he knocks. Slash answers looking just wiped out. From the doorway I can see Duff on the bed. They gave him sedatives so he’s feeling pretty relaxed, it looked like Slash needed some of my valium. Slash’s eyes fall to the floor at the sight of Izzy.

“Yeah, what is it?” He softly asks and wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

“We need to talk, all of us,” Izzy says, unable to look at Slash too.

“Can’t it wait until morning? It’s been a rough night for all of us. Everyone is bruised and cut up except Axl and Stevie…fucking Duff has a fucking breakdown on top of hitting me and kicking your ass…which I see he did a pretty good number on you. I’m sorry, really I am…I just couldn’t live with the guilt man. I love him so much and what we did…Axl I’m sorry I fucked you over like that.” He just shamefully hangs his head and shakes it.

“Well I guess I fucked you over first, both metaphorically and physically. I’m not pissed at you for what happened with you and Izzy…though I admit, I did think about kicking both your asses and fucking Duff just to level out the fucking field…but I think Duff has taken care of half of my dilemma for me. Just let us in ok. Izzy’s done something that I think will be of interest to you both.”

“Like wha-?” Duff slurs from the bed.

Slash sighs and back out of the doorway so we can come in. He shuts the door and sits at the edge of the bed next to Duff. He still can’t fucking look at Izzy or myself.

“Frrrucking talk,” Duff slurs and tries his best to keep his eyes open.

Izzy pulls the tape out and holds it up. “Tonight while all the shit was going on with you I broke into Sixx’s room and got the fucking tape.”

“He made copies Izz,” Slash stares at his hands.

“Then why do you suppose it took me half an hour to find this fucking thing? It was hid in the fucking ceiling. If the son of a bitch really had copies he’d have it in a fucking VCR jacking off to it and showing all his friends, right? No, this is it, it was hid way too fucking good. We have his ass now.”

“How?” Duff shrugs, “I’m still married to dat bitch whore.”

“I know,” Izzy nods, “But he can’t use this to keep her up your ass now. Don’t you see? We have his fucking power. We have his black mail and his fucking dealer is married to our bassist.” Izzy pauses and smirks at me.

“How is thissss helping again?” Duff squints at Izzy.

“Because in the morning Slash is going to leak to the fucking press that Duff and Mandy’s marriage is already on the fucking rocks. And Duff, you’re going to drug your wife, take her to the airport, stick her ass on a plane and let her fucking cry to Nikki. Nikki is going to go straight for that fucking tape, and when he can’t find it…”

“He’s gonna come straight for us,” I finish his sentence.

“No,” Slash shakes his head, “Duff and I are leaving tomorrow. We’re going to San Diego so Duff can rest and we can try to work through our fucking issues.”

I watch the expression on Izzy’s face change as he turns to me. “We have two whole weeks…maybe we should all get the fuck away. I’d say we earned it.”

And this is how I came to be in the fucking Utah desert all alone with Izzy. Izzy’s fascination with the goddamn desert fascinates me. The guy can’t stand dirt on his feet, but comes to the dustiest godforsaken place in America. Plus Izzy loves to fucking surf. There is no surfing in the damn desert. It’s pretty nice during the day this time of year, but at night…fuck its cold.

I was at least able to convince Izzy to rent a cabin as opposed to sleeping in a tent, which is what he opted for. We had money now, no way was I ever sleeping on the fucking ground again! It’s really fucking quiet out here. You don’t hear crickets at night. There’s no traffic. It’s so quiet that your ears ring. Izzy always has enjoyed quietness.

Izzy is surprisingly fit for a junkie actually. He had us fucking hiking five mile long trails just to see some shit like old west ghost towns, canyons with Indian pictographs, waterfalls, and just scenic glories of nature. It was beautiful for rocks and dirt. But most importantly, Izzy was happy. He looked like for once some of the weight he carried all the time lifted off his shoulders. It’s like he could forget the reality of our lives out here.

We are climbing now. Izzy calls out to me, “Hey, it’s a tenaja!”

“A what?” I ask and try to catch up.

“A big fucking hole with water in it, sorta like nature’s swimming pool,” He says and unzips his jeans.

“What are you doing?” I smile at him.

“Well I’m going swimming…naked,” he winks at me.

I get the hint and start to slowly undress while I watch him undressing in the sunlight. Jesus Christ he took my fucking breath away. I watch as he steps into the water and sinks down into it. I kick off my boots as I watch him things start to move in slow motion. He sinks his head under the water. He comes back up with his eyes closed, head back, and the water sparkling in the sun that radiated on him. Fuck.

He wipes his face and looks up at me. He squints at the sun and smiles at me. “A fine time for modesty there Axe.”

I shake my head and snap out of my daze. Then I realized I had yet to get out of my damn pants. I was so taken back by his beauty I just got lost in the moment.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I say with a hand to my chest as I just stay lost on him.

“My view is pretty fucking awesome too Fireball. I thought you were beautiful when you had freckles and a flattop.”

“And despite your buck teeth and your tiny little freckles, I still thought you were so fucking beautiful…but now…as a grown man, you take my breath away.”

“Well come here and let me breathe some air back into you darlin,” he motions again for me to join him.

So I shove my pants off my hips, step out of them and into the water. It feels like a warm bath and the water is so clear. I feel Izzy’s hands at my hips under the water. He tugs our bodies together. He brushes my hair out of my eyes and looks at me for a long moment in silence. I can see his wheels spinning in overdrive. Finally he gives me a soft little peck on the lips.

“I’m so sorry for any tears I’ve ever caused you.”

“I’m not crying,” I smile at him.

His eyes flutter away, “You know what I mean baby. I’ve done so fucking much shit to hurt you.”

“And I haven’t?” I huff.

“I don’t want to do that anymore,” he softly says shaking his head.

I sigh. As much as I liked the sentiment of what he was saying, I knew we would hurt each other again. Some habits never die. His scratchy fingers glide down my back.

“I never want to make you cry again.” His lips take mine and I feel my love for him expand if that’s even fucking possible.

“I’ll be sure to remind you of that every morning when you wake up and every night when you close your eyes,” I playfully kiss his nose.

He gives a bittersweet smile. “You know when we go back the shit is really gonna hit the fan, right?”

“Nikki?”

He nods. “He’s not going to back down like a bitch. He’s going to find something else to control us with.

“He needs us, we’re part of this like grand retirement scheme of his,” I reply.

“You don’t know him like I do Axe. Nikki never gives up on what he sets his fucking mind to. And he’s fucking smart and sneaky. We can’t trust him for one second. He’s the enemy that smiles at you and welcomes you with open arms and drives a knife straight into your fucking back while he’s doing it. He has to maintain control of us to get up to play out his fucking game. He’s gonna find a way Axe.”

“I know,” I nod.