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Nikki

Izzy was starting to come around just as I was pulling the needle put of my arm. Mmmm, Izzy's shit was good when I did enough of it. Wish I found more on him than this though. The fucker must have had most of it stashed. Tommy and I hadn't the time to flip the room. We had to grab Izzy and go. Unfortunately, we had to knock him out, but it made taping his feet and hands much easier. We carried him out in a GNR equipment case. Carried him straight to a waiting limo, dumped him on the floor, and hauled ass.

I found about a gram of shit on him and three ready to go rigs in his boots. I look down at him groaning from behind a duck taped mouth and starting to move. Tommy leans over him and smiles.

"Looks like sleeping beauty is coming around."

I fight to hold my eyes open as a wave of smack goes through me. "You've got good shit Izz. I should have bought from you more often."

His eyes go wide and he jerks up. This is about the same time he realizes that he's bound and gagged. He backs up away from us as far as he can. His brows draw together as he looks at us. Right about now he's thinking what the fuck.

"Don't be scared," Tommy laughs, "we go way back...don't we?"

"Sorry for the inconvenience of this Izz, but you know...I think I might be enjoying this a bit. Especially since I'm finally straight," I say and light a cigarette.
"I really just want Mandy back...so your friends get her, bring her to me, we let you go...Although... I do seem to recall that you're the reason she's gone. So I suppose I shouldn't be so fucking kind while I have you."

I can see his eyes narrow at me in anger and I can make out his mumbles behind the tape to clearly be 'fuck you'.

I pin his neck back with my foot. "No Izzy. Fuck you. You think you can make a fool of me? Fucking laugh at me? Fucking put a gun to my head and expect me to just let it go?"

I reach down to my own waist and pull out Izzy's gun. I hold it in my hands and look it over. I pull the handle back. It was loaded.

"You know, this is a nice gun. I have one just like it back home. Only mine doesn't have the little numbers filed off. Traceable directly to me too unfortunately. But not your gun. I cock it and quickly move to press the gun into his temple. " Its not the best fucking feeling is it Izzy?!" I shout in his face. I lowly growl, "You have no idea how bad I want to pull this fucking trigger."

Izzy, even like to this, manages to gleam nothing but indifference in his eyes. I could sense that a part of him didn't even care if I did. Just like when he was pressing this same gun into my head. Secretly, I prayed for him to just pull the trigger and end it all for me. Yeah, I totally got that look in his eye.

"But you wouldn't even care, would you?" I ask withdrawing the gun and uncocking it. I lay it on the seat and turn to him with a smirk. "A part of you wouldn't mind being stuffed in the ground in Indiana, would it?" I recline back in the seat and smile at him. "Gets old waking up every day to the same fucking feeling, don't it? You can't think of shit but getting the day's first fix...and if its not there, you go out and find a way to get it. Rob, cheat...whatever it fucking takes. Right?"

I'm a decent fuck in bed. But mind fucking...no one could ever be better at that than me.

"You're so much like me Izzy it brings a smile to my face," I chuckle. "In fact, I'm probably the only person who truly does get you. Yeah," I laugh again, "I get you. Want me to indulge? I can't help but notice the way your eyes doubt me." I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees. "I took the time to look through your wallet...Not crazy about your birth name, but it's no worse than mine i suppose. Cute nudie shot of Axl by the way. Couldn't help but notice the other pictures you had in there. One of you mommy and daddy and their two little boys. You being the oldest. Then I find a picture of daddy with someone who isn't mommy and two little girls. Then I see another of you and your brother...this time there's another brother. So am I to assume you come from a divorced family? Oh I know how that shit goes. The yelling, the fighting...then one day...daddy's gone. In your case I see he just went and got himself another family. So that left you as man of the house. Wasn't a very good house once daddy left, was it? You know back then it was hard for a woman to be the single mother of two kids. Not without welfare. Hand Me down clothes, worn out shoes, hair always needing to be cut...did mommy have to work all the time? Always to busy or too tired to do the house chores? So I'm guessing little Izzy had to make the beds and sweep the floors. And as you grew up you got more responsibility. Bet you can actually cook. Probably where you got that caretaker nature of yours.

All the while this anger just balls up inside you. Your two little half sisters don't have to do that shit. They get to live it up while you and your brother struggle. So after a while mommy remarries, spits you out another little brother to look after. Bet you changed diapers and made bottles so much you don't even like kids, do you? But new daddy is not the best money maker so shit doesn't change much. Maybe it gets worse, maybe you end up moving in with relatives.

And every night you lie awake in bed and dream of breaking out of there. The first chance you got you were leaving. And patiently you wait. On the surface you maintained that everything was fine, just like you still do now, huh? And I'm guessing little Axl was the only one around who had it worse than you. Would explain why two people as different as you two cling to one another for dear life. You both wanted a better life. Fame. Bet you thought, man if I could just get to LA...but when you got here it wasn't what you expected.

I know exactly what you had to do to get a gig. And I'm willing to bet you protected your little fireball the best you could for as long as you could. Who gave in first? You or Axl? Obviously you both did eventually... Flip coins...take turns maybe? Or maybe you did everything together."

I can see the tears trying to work up in his eyes.

"Ah," I smirk, "that's it huh? So you got to see every time Axl dropped to his keeps for someone besides you. Every time someone grabbed his ass and rammed a dry dick in it you were there. I'll assume you were in a similar position. How many times did you look over and see the tears in his eyes? How many begging pleas to stop, to just do you instead? Not that they ever listened. They just took what they wanted, from both of you, with or without consent. I bet they held you down while your little Fireball tried to fight them off, but you couldn't save him. All you could do was watch as they overcame him...ripped open the back of his pants, spread his ass...and all you could do was watch."

The tears trickle from his eyes and down his cheeks.

Tommy huffs, "Think you struck a nerve Sixxer."

"His little Fireball always does strike a nerve. You really love him, don't you? That sucks...I can imagine the pain you must have felt every time someone shoved a cock in him. No big mystery how smack became part of your daily equation. It tends to take the edge off when your head is shoved down to suck some pathetic cock. Makes their cocks slide in and out of you just a little bit easier. Dries up all your tears and let's you gently slip away into some void where it's like it's not even happening to you. Not happening..."

I can see the rage building behind the memories I was forcing to the surface. This is the happiest I can recall being in a long time. The taste of revenge is so fucking sweet.

"Bet you hold a lot of guilt for letting so many have a taste of your Fireball. Is that why you are always so protective of Slash? Redemption? Or do you secretly wish he were yours? Wish Axl dill looked at you the way he and Duff look at one another? And now you realize it's all your fault because he doesn't? You didn't save him. You just let it all happen. Now you wonder if he blames you too. I would," I shrug and watch even more years stream down his face.

"You're so mean Nikki," Tommy smirks at me.

"Maybe, but I bet I'm right. I bet Axl's just as numb and detached as you are, isn't he? Is that why you two are always pushing one another's buttons? That the only way to make yourselves feel anymore? Is that why you're fucking Erin behind his back? Hoping he finds out?"

I watch Stradlin's eyes widen as he realizes that I know about his dirty little secret.

"Pillow talk," I shrug. "I'm a good listener. In fact I even know that she likes it better with you than she does Axl. She says you're... Well...a very very good lay. Can't help bit wonder if you might be better than me too."

"He is pretty fucking good," Tommy sees fit to throw in.

I roll my eyes, "I meant with chicks..."

"Oh, right," Tommy smiles.

"But I'll take your word on the guy part. Guess one gets pretty good at it after they had as much practice as Izz here has. Bet you did everything in your power to get all those club owners and record executives off as quickly as possible, didn't you? Just to get it all over with quicker. Yeah T-Bone, I bet Izzy is teal good at fucking. Bet you fucked girls so you and Axl could eat too. Fucked them just like we had to fuck them. Or maybe Axl fucked them while you robbed their purses.

Was it your idea to become a dealer? Or did that just sort of happen because you're a junkie? You sell for bikers or cartel? I think it tastes cartel. Pretty close knit group to get involved with. They always demand the names of you loved ones in case you ever fuck them over. So who'd you sell out? Your family or your Fireball?"

Izzy just closes his eyes trying not to listen to my words.

"You wouldn't do it to Axl... So was it mommy or daddy? The one who ran away? Or the one who made you do everything? I say mommy, bet you blame her for daddy leaving. Maybe if she would have been nicer, maybe sucked him off more, he would have never left. That's pretty cold Stradlin, your own mother huh?" I snort.

"Like you wouldn't do it to yours," Tommy mumbles.

"Besides the point. This is about pegging Izzy. I really touch I was a heartless son of a bitch...if I were wearing a hat I'd tip it to you Izz."

"So what ate we gonna do with him Nikki? Management will never let us keep him."

I can't help but laugh because it sounds like Tommy is talking about a fucking puppy or something.

"Same way we got him here. We just keep him in one of pur rooms tied to the bed."

"Mmmm, you can tie him to my bed," tommy coos and strokes Izzy's cheek. Izzy jerks away.

A crooked smirk crawls over my lips as I watch Izzy react.

"I'll keep it in mind T-Bone."