FicWad

Axl

Having Izzy clinging to me and crying so hysterically just fucking breaks something inside me. For once it would seem as if I need to play his part for a change. I had to be strong while he fell apart. Izzy wasn't like me, he always bounced when he hit the ground. He always got right back up or landed on his feet like a cat. I know Izzy can get through this. He might be more strung out than normal, but he'd do what he had to do. So I was gonna make sure I did what I had to. Nikki and Tommy had best think twice about fucking with any of us again.

"Shhh," I say in his ear, "it's over, its over darlin."

He just gasps, gaining the air he needs to cry even harder in my arms. His grip on me was going to leave perfect Izzy finger print bruises. Mixed in with his crying is moans of pain. He had to be hurting himself to be so tense.

"Izz calm down before you hurt yourself OK? Come on baby, breathe. Relax. You're safe. No ones here but us. Shhh." I begin rocking him but it seems to hurt him so I stop. I just hold him and wait for his sobbing to die down. He just had to come to a bit more so he could see he was safe. That it was all over.

And very slowly he begins to relax in my arms. I feel his body shivering as I slowly lower him back down on the bed. When he finally let's me go I raise up and can see his tear soaked lashes blink away more tears as he closes his eyes. He doesn't want to look at me. Typical. Izzy always acts like this after fucking anyone else, whether consensual or not. He knew I didn't hold this against him, it was just his nature to still assume guilt. Izzy always tortured himself more than anyone I knew. I didn't want him to feel that way this time. I wanted him to know how much I loved him, no matter what.

I put my hands on the side of his face, trying to miss the bruises. "Open your eyes, look at me. I already know baby. I know what Tommy did. I'm not mad at you. Don't you dare feel bad about this. Do you hear me? Izzy please open your eyes. I love you so much," my voice cracks as I try to stay strong and not cry. Izzy don't need to see me crying. That won't help him at all.

Izzy's eyes part. They are so swollen from being hit over and over. His beautiful hazel eyes rimmed in tears and bloodshot, are the best thing I've seen in a long time. His pupils aren't all huge and hollow. His brows seem to reflect confusion. I don't doubt that he feels confused. He's been through 48 hours of fucking hell. He almost died because of it.

I'd like to be able to smile for him, but I just don't have any to give right now. "Are you OK?" I ask.

He just looks at me as more tears spill from his eyes. He shakes his head no softly. I climb onto the edge of the bed beside him and take him in my arms. I pull him to me and I feel him cry even more. His fingers grasp at my shirt for dear life.

"Its gonna be ok," I whisper as I allow the strands of his hair to weave through my fingers. Izzy just never cries like this. Somehow I have a feeling that there's more going on in his head than Tommy raping him, not that he will tell me.

He eventually settles down again. He sniffles a few times. Then he curls into my chest. It's like he just can't get close enough to me. Finally he clears his throat to speak. "Tell Me," his hoarse voice barely peeps.

"Tell you what darlin?" I softly ask back as I kiss his head.

"How'd I get here?"

I take a deep breath. I knew he would want to know, just wasn't really prepared for it. I won't lie to him, I'll tell him. "I found you."

"H...how?" He asks.

"Erin," I sigh.

"Erin?" He asks and gives me a befuddled look. "She fucking hates me."

"Yeah, well she found Nikki for me and told me where he was. She didn't know for sure but she was pretty sure you were there too."

"Why would she do that?" He asks and I can hear the skepticism in his tone. But he knows me all too well. "What did you promise her?" He raises a brow at me. Told you he knew me all too well. But now wasn't the time for me to bring that up. Izzy was not gonna be too happy about it.

"Its not important right now Izz. Do you hurt? Is the detox too bad? Do I need to get a doctor?" I quickly change the subject.

He knows what I'm doing but he let's me. "It hurts. How many stitches? I feel them."

"Baby they did surgery on you."

His eyes look at mine again, "What?" And I can hear him gulp.

I nod. God I didn't want to have to tell him. "He...he tore up your insides pretty bad. You were punctured and blood and shit got in you and caused this bad infection. You almost died on me. They had to flush you out. Had to remove the damaged part of your colon. And you have 23 stitches in addition to that. They have a colostomy bag on you but its just for a little while. You're almost three days into withdrawal... Is it bad? I'll get them to give you some methadone."

"I'll be ok for now... I think whatever they gave me here is enough to take the edge off. Thirsty as fuck though."

I make a move, "I'll get you some water."

His fingers grip my shirt, "No, don't go."

I resettle in the bed. "OK," I agree. Izzy wasn't clingy normally. I was sort of enjoying it. I so rarely got to take care of him, unless he was dope sick, which I hate. But I guess the morphine they have him full of is preventing that. I'm glad.

"How'd you get in the house...where they had me?"

"Duff and Slash got me some leverage."

"What?"

"Tommy," I say and can feel Izzy cringe at just the sound of his name. "Then we bust in. I stabbed Nikki in the leg and searched the house. And I found you."

"I remember hearing your voice but it sounded far off...like it wasn't real but just wishful thinking."

"It was real," I kiss his forehead.

"Axe... How'd...what did I look like?" He asks looking in my eyes.

I have to lower my gaze away just to be able to answer. "You um...you were face down on the bed...you were tied by your wrists. You were..." I pause, "naked...and covered in shit and vomit and blood." I feel my insides starting to boil as I remember the horrible images I would be all too happy to forget. "We called an ambulance."

Izzy nudges me and I look at his eyes again. "Where are they?"

I nod. "Taken care of darlin."

He looks at me for a moment and nods finally. I can tell he knows I've done something to them. But he doesn't ask what. He knows Me and my wild streaks of blind vengeance.