Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
Erin
Axl left the second we finished having sex. He came up with some sort of lame excuse for having to go. Not that I really minded him going, I just hoped that he returned with Izzy. I pop out today's birth control pill and let it tumble down the drain. They have both released themselves in me on a few occasions, but I've yet to get pregnant. Nikki and I work on it when he can, but we don't see much of one another now because he's on the road and I'm stuck in the middle of Axl and Izzy. Though I must admit, it's not a bad place to be stuck.
That night with the two of them was the most awakening sexual experience that I have ever had. I mean, despite knowing that I was sent by Nikki to destroy them, they still extended me the courtesy to enjoy them and for my body to respond in kind. Together they were the perfect lovers. What one lacked, the other didn't. Before that night I didn't think it could be any better than it was with Nikki. Of course I know better than to tell Nikki. Nikki could sometimes be rough when trying to make a point.
Nikki was the epitome of anger. And anyone who got in his way had it unleased on him. I just tried to stay out of his way. But he was different when I first met him. He was quite if you can believe that. He was once so gentle and sweet and when he made love to me I felt loved. We used to cuddle for hours without sex. We had talked on the phone for hours like teenagers in love. Nikki was just different back then. We had met at this banquet honoring past musicians from my dad's era. He stuck out like a sore thumb. He was intimidating. But later that night he struck me. Up in conversation. He seemed so smart. He had a dream and he would have it or die trying. I admired his strong will and percervetance. I knew he was going to make something of himself. We quickly became friends. Then came the benefits of sex.
But drugs started to matter to him more and more. I felt second to them. I felt like I was losing my best friend.. But from time to time I saw glimpses of him. And I was owned by that little glimmer of who he used to be. He held my stings like reigns and jerked them hard when he saw fit. If I fought it I got spurred. It doesn't take long to figure out how to avoid being jabbed by his rage, simply give him whats. And right now he wants Axl and Izzy to suffer. He says that enough pressure will split them up and that it would be good for their creativity.
But Nikki doesn't get to see them the way I do. They had a passion that left me jealous. No one has ever looked at me the way they looked at one another. They had the communication between them down to near sheer telepathy. They could sense their changing moods like meteorologists could predict the weather. They seemed to always know what the other was thinking. They loved one another as reverently as a single word could emphasise a meaning. I was envious of them.
With a sigh I reach over and pick up the phone. I dial up the hotel where Nikki is staying. It's about half an hour before management will be around to get him up for soundcheck. The phone rings about 8 times before Nikki's groggy voice can be heard. "What the fuck is it?"
"Nikki, baby, it's me," I nervously say.
"Erin, hey sweetheart, everything OK?"
"Sure...just...well I got my period this morning," I stammer.
"Fuck," I can hear him hiss. "You simply have to try harder. Fuck them twenty times a day if that's what it takes! Jesus Christ how goddamn hard could it be to get knocked up?!"
"Baby, I'm trying. They're both usually really careful. They aren't actually trying to get me pregnant." I try to explain. I can sense Nikki's tension on the other end of the line. I woke him up. He's testy when you first wake him up. Jack Daniels was his coffee, heroin his mornings breakfast.
"Bitch you better get a fucking turkey baster! Don't make me fucking do it for you! Goddamnit how stupid do you have to fucking be. Getting knocked up should be even easier with two of them, three including me! Fuck! Make up some lie about not being able to get pregnant or some shit! You're a chick, fucking think like one!! Don't fucking call back unless you have good news!!" I can hear him murmer 'fucking cunt' as he hangs up. I should have let him be up before I called.
As I hang up the phone I can see the door open from the corner of my eye. I, but for a split second, make eye contact with Izzy. He just sways into the room and goes for the night stand, pretending to be oblivious to my presence. He slides the drawer open and starts to rumage through it.
"Can I help you find something?" I ask.
His eyes snap to mine and linger for a moment. "Missing my tour lamanent," he says as his eyes flutter away. I can't help but note how nervous he seems. Usually he's pissed or cocky when our paths cross. When we're having sex I never know what part of his personalty I might get. A chuckle can't help but slip out of my throat. "What the fuck are you laughing at?" He asks crossing around the bed to the other night stand.
"I'm just wondering if you're ever going to relax and drop that wall around you?"
He glances at me and softly shakes his head. "Walls keep unwanted things out."
"Why are you so cold? You're both fucking me. You both know it. Why do you get all weird around me when it's just us?" I enquire. I get up on my knees and shuffle across the bed. I wrap my arms around his neck.
He rolls his eyes and lets them settle on me. "I don't fucking trust you sugar. You mean nothing more to me than the fifteen seconds of pleasure I get out of you. I wouldn't mind if you died in a plane crash or got ran the fuck over." He grabs my arms and unclasps them from his neck. He then begins to scour the other side of the room.
"You know he cries eveytime you disappear and no one knows where you are. On the nights you fight he drinks. He thinks you push him away and that..."
"Shut up Erin," he sighs and rests his palms on the dresser top, "the last thing my relationship needs is someone who thinks they're an insider. You don't know shit so keep your opinions to yourself. Better yet," he smirks as he slips his lamanent around his neck, "go fucking feed them to Nikki. That's really your job here, right?"
Axl left the second we finished having sex. He came up with some sort of lame excuse for having to go. Not that I really minded him going, I just hoped that he returned with Izzy. I pop out today's birth control pill and let it tumble down the drain. They have both released themselves in me on a few occasions, but I've yet to get pregnant. Nikki and I work on it when he can, but we don't see much of one another now because he's on the road and I'm stuck in the middle of Axl and Izzy. Though I must admit, it's not a bad place to be stuck.
That night with the two of them was the most awakening sexual experience that I have ever had. I mean, despite knowing that I was sent by Nikki to destroy them, they still extended me the courtesy to enjoy them and for my body to respond in kind. Together they were the perfect lovers. What one lacked, the other didn't. Before that night I didn't think it could be any better than it was with Nikki. Of course I know better than to tell Nikki. Nikki could sometimes be rough when trying to make a point.
Nikki was the epitome of anger. And anyone who got in his way had it unleased on him. I just tried to stay out of his way. But he was different when I first met him. He was quite if you can believe that. He was once so gentle and sweet and when he made love to me I felt loved. We used to cuddle for hours without sex. We had talked on the phone for hours like teenagers in love. Nikki was just different back then. We had met at this banquet honoring past musicians from my dad's era. He stuck out like a sore thumb. He was intimidating. But later that night he struck me. Up in conversation. He seemed so smart. He had a dream and he would have it or die trying. I admired his strong will and percervetance. I knew he was going to make something of himself. We quickly became friends. Then came the benefits of sex.
But drugs started to matter to him more and more. I felt second to them. I felt like I was losing my best friend.. But from time to time I saw glimpses of him. And I was owned by that little glimmer of who he used to be. He held my stings like reigns and jerked them hard when he saw fit. If I fought it I got spurred. It doesn't take long to figure out how to avoid being jabbed by his rage, simply give him whats. And right now he wants Axl and Izzy to suffer. He says that enough pressure will split them up and that it would be good for their creativity.
But Nikki doesn't get to see them the way I do. They had a passion that left me jealous. No one has ever looked at me the way they looked at one another. They had the communication between them down to near sheer telepathy. They could sense their changing moods like meteorologists could predict the weather. They seemed to always know what the other was thinking. They loved one another as reverently as a single word could emphasise a meaning. I was envious of them.
With a sigh I reach over and pick up the phone. I dial up the hotel where Nikki is staying. It's about half an hour before management will be around to get him up for soundcheck. The phone rings about 8 times before Nikki's groggy voice can be heard. "What the fuck is it?"
"Nikki, baby, it's me," I nervously say.
"Erin, hey sweetheart, everything OK?"
"Sure...just...well I got my period this morning," I stammer.
"Fuck," I can hear him hiss. "You simply have to try harder. Fuck them twenty times a day if that's what it takes! Jesus Christ how goddamn hard could it be to get knocked up?!"
"Baby, I'm trying. They're both usually really careful. They aren't actually trying to get me pregnant." I try to explain. I can sense Nikki's tension on the other end of the line. I woke him up. He's testy when you first wake him up. Jack Daniels was his coffee, heroin his mornings breakfast.
"Bitch you better get a fucking turkey baster! Don't make me fucking do it for you! Goddamnit how stupid do you have to fucking be. Getting knocked up should be even easier with two of them, three including me! Fuck! Make up some lie about not being able to get pregnant or some shit! You're a chick, fucking think like one!! Don't fucking call back unless you have good news!!" I can hear him murmer 'fucking cunt' as he hangs up. I should have let him be up before I called.
As I hang up the phone I can see the door open from the corner of my eye. I, but for a split second, make eye contact with Izzy. He just sways into the room and goes for the night stand, pretending to be oblivious to my presence. He slides the drawer open and starts to rumage through it.
"Can I help you find something?" I ask.
His eyes snap to mine and linger for a moment. "Missing my tour lamanent," he says as his eyes flutter away. I can't help but note how nervous he seems. Usually he's pissed or cocky when our paths cross. When we're having sex I never know what part of his personalty I might get. A chuckle can't help but slip out of my throat. "What the fuck are you laughing at?" He asks crossing around the bed to the other night stand.
"I'm just wondering if you're ever going to relax and drop that wall around you?"
He glances at me and softly shakes his head. "Walls keep unwanted things out."
"Why are you so cold? You're both fucking me. You both know it. Why do you get all weird around me when it's just us?" I enquire. I get up on my knees and shuffle across the bed. I wrap my arms around his neck.
He rolls his eyes and lets them settle on me. "I don't fucking trust you sugar. You mean nothing more to me than the fifteen seconds of pleasure I get out of you. I wouldn't mind if you died in a plane crash or got ran the fuck over." He grabs my arms and unclasps them from his neck. He then begins to scour the other side of the room.
"You know he cries eveytime you disappear and no one knows where you are. On the nights you fight he drinks. He thinks you push him away and that..."
"Shut up Erin," he sighs and rests his palms on the dresser top, "the last thing my relationship needs is someone who thinks they're an insider. You don't know shit so keep your opinions to yourself. Better yet," he smirks as he slips his lamanent around his neck, "go fucking feed them to Nikki. That's really your job here, right?"
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