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Duff

Slash refused to stay in our room tonight. He says he's going to share with Axl. Though I somehow doubt he stays there. He would probably pass out on Izzy's bed...not that that bastard Izzy cares. I bring the bottle of vodka in my hand to my mouth and chug my blues away, not that it fucking works. I couldn't believe how mad I got. How violent. Then my thoughts are interrupted by my door flying open. In storms a pretty pissed off Izzy. He steps toe to toe with me and points his finger right in my face.

"I should kick your ass myself! I can't believe you fucking hit him! What the fuck were you thinking?!" He's so mad he's spitting when he talks. I've never seen him this mad at someone besides Axl.

I give him a shove, "Get the fuck off me!" I hiss.

"You're smarter than this," Izzy shakes his head at me, "why are you making this so easy for me?"

My blood starts to heat up. I knew what the fuck he was getting at and I couldn't believe he had the balls to say it to me. How could he call us friends and say that? "Making what easier on you?" I ask out of sheer reflex and dread the goddamn answer.

He smirks at me and shrugs, "To take Slash from you dumbass." He's so cocky in saying this he fucking reminds me of Nikki. I wanna kill him dead!

I fly at him, "Now you've gone too fucking far Stradlin!" I shove him into the wall.

Izzy just laughs at me. "You made him mine the minute you hit him, you're just too dumb to realize it..."

And his laughter reminds me even more of Nikki's smug ass. I shove him hard again, "Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are?!" I want to hit him but his face is already all busted up. Some of it I did. And deep down, maybe I'm worried he's right.


Izzy leans closer to me, "Your worst fucking nightmare. Take a good look at my face Duff, I'm in love with him. I've been in love with him. Me and Axl are finished...and in the last 24 hours you have single handedly ruined you and Slash. You fucked the one cunt you promised him you wouldn't, he comes crying to me and you beat him for it. You think he trusts you now? You think he will ever trust you the same again? No, you lost him tonight. Tell me Duff, who do you think he will cry to? Who do you think kissed him goodnight tonight?"

I take a swing at Izzy but the sly little bastard dodges it and hits me instead. Axl was right, he has a mean right hook when he wants to. Before now Izzy had never punched me with everything he had. I grab my jaw and look at him with a shocked expression.

"Told you I let you win before. That was your free shot. No free shot now." The words don't even sound like Izzy's.

As I stand there tears come to my eyes because I don't know who this cruel person in Izzy's body is. We were like brothers not so long ago. Now we're in a war for Slash? How the fuck did this happen? "Why are you doing this? What the fuck have I ever done to you?" My voice cracks like some pubescent boy.

"You haven't done anything to me, just for me," he huffs in that I don't give a fuck tone.

"He doesn't love you," I shake my head in disbelief.

"Maybe you should tell him that. He thinks he does and that's all the fuck that matters isn't it?"

"Why are you doing this Izzy?" I beg for an answer.

"Because you and Axl have made it perfectly convenient...and because I love him. I'll never hit him. I won't do to him what Axl and I have done to each other. I just want to love him. He's perfect. I don't want to change him... I like him just fine how he is. Too bad you couldn't appreciate him. He so wanted to have a safe haven in you. You were supposed to be the one he could trust to keep him safe, but somehow the job always gets subcontracted out to me. Funny how shit works out sometimes ain't it?"

"Do you honestly think you can just waltz in here and tell me you're taking my fucking boyfriend and expect me to just roll the fuck over and let you!?" I shout at him.

Izzy just goes cooler. "You've already let me," he smirks, "fight all you want, you lost him tonight."

"I made a couple of bad choices. Like you and Axl never made the same ones! You got through! So can me and Slash!"

"Humph, we'll just see about that won't we?"

"So that's it? Axl dumps you and you steal Slash?! Who the fuck do you think you are?! You're just some fucked up junkie who wants everyone to be miserable like you! Look at you! You don't love Slash, you cant even love yourself! Fucking junkie!!"

And then Izzy swings at me again. This time I feel my eyebrow split open. I feel blood run down my face. Fuck he could hit when he wanted to. "You don't get to judge me! You're a fucking drunk and a coke head! Anybody rubbing that shit in your face?! And while I may be a fucking junkie you never seemed to mind when I was saving your goddamn boyfriend! Or trying to get us signed! You think you're the only one who's been raped for this band?! Fuck you! You have no clue what I've done to be here! I think I deserve a fucking consolation prize!"

"Not fucking Slash!" I cry out.

"Maybe if you weren't such a sniffling pussy you could stop me," he says with this cold indifference I've never heard in his voice before. "But...be it as it may, you're a liar and have betrayed Slash in the harshest way. You fucked it all up, not me, I'm simply picking up pieces like I always do."

"Where's Slash? I wanna talk to Slash."

"He's asleep in his room I just put him to bed. Don't worry, tonight I have other plans. You can give it your best shot with him if you like, but I don't think it's gonna work. But I'll give you that sporting chance if you want."

I want to beat this smug motherfucker within an inch of his life. Sadly I know that will just drive Slash even further away. Izzy had him right where he wanted. He had me right where he wanted. We were all just pawns on some chess board for Izzy's entertainment. I knew he couldn't love Slash like I did. He couldn't even love Axl who loved him more than the world. Izzy wasn't capable of love anymore. Izzy couldn't even be Izzy anymore. Dear God, what have I done?

Izzy tips his hat at me and winks, "Do have a lovely evening Mr. McKagan," and with that the fucker leaves my room and I'm frozen and shell shocked. Did that fucking shit really just happen? Please let this be a bad dream.