FicWad

Izzy
I can’t fucking believe Axl brought my dad here! What the fuck was he thinking? I haven’t seen that fucker in years and I had no desire to see him tonight! Of course he would walk in when I was getting head from some girl and snorting a line! God fucking damnit! So not only was I pissed at Axl and my dad but I had blue balls and of course that fucker Nikki showed up and Axl and I had to get rid of him! At least he didn’t out Axl and me to my dad, that really would have been the final straw; no way my dad would tolerate a halfway faggot for a son. I don’t have a shit ton of time to deal with things though because it’s time for us to go onstage so I take my frustrations out on my guitar. When I was up there I saw that Dad didn’t leave though; maybe the girls talked him into staying because he’s out there in the second row. I just pretend I don’t see him and stick my usual routine of keeping watch over my band and Erin. At one point Slash runs over to my side of the stage while Duff plays to the crowd at the front. “You ok Izzy? I mean with your dad and everything?” he asks me.

I love that he still cares enough to ask. He knows about how bad shit is between me and my family; I’d told him a long time ago and he’d been there in bed with me when I’d called my mom a few times and he’d seen how strained those conversations were. His conversations with his mom and brother just flowed out and were natural and funny; not the case with my family. When I’d get off the phone he’d take me in his arms and kiss away the disappointment; it made me happy because I knew that there was at least one person out there who loved me for me and nothing else. “I’m fine but everything went pretty badly; I ended up head butting Nikki because of course he had to get all up in that shit. I see Dad stayed for the show though,” I tell him. “Dunno what that means.” He smiles and shrugs and we have to move again since we can’t stand around having a conversation. I look at him under my hair; he’s so fucking hot all sweaty and shiny and shirtless. Fuck I love looking at him like this. I have to stop though because it's making my dick hard. If I don't get laid soon I'm going to go out of my fucking mind. I was going to have to give in and fuck Erin or some fucking groupie so that I didn't try and fuck Slash; that thought makes my dick literally throb behind my guitar. Fuck I've got to stop thinking about him. I'd think about Axl but it feels wrong when he was attacked and isn't ready for sex.
I spend the rest of the show with blue balls and trying not to stare at the kid. Duff caught me once and gave me a look that said “Keep your eyes off my man!” Everyone hangs out at the after party for a couple of hours and I wonder if my dad will show up with my half sisters; I'm sure Stevie would love to meet them even if they are underage. But my family doesn't make an appearance.
I'd love to just go back to the hotel and crash, hold my Fireball and ask him what in the hell he was thinking asking my dad here, although I might end up wringing his neck! But he wants to stay for the party. Slash and Duff disappear after maybe 30 minutes and I assume they've left but when I get up to piss I mdecide to use the little bathroom off of our dressing room instead of the main bathroom in the hallway so I won't have to wait in line. When I open the door I'm greeted with the sight of Slash leaning back against a table with his pants open, his head thrown back, eyes closed, quietly moaning as Duff jerked him off. Fuck...my eyes immediately go to his cock. Holy shit he's beautiful and his dick is dark purple with arousal and hard as a fucking rock in Duff’s hand; he's so goddamn big… Of course as the door opens both Slash and Duff immediately freeze and their heads whip towards me. “I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here,” I mumble and I feel my face turn red as I quickly turn away and close the door. I almost run head long into Steven who must have had the same idea that I did. I try and grab his arm to stop him from walking in but he's drunk and oblivious and just grins as he passes me and pushes the door open. “Steven no!” I say but it's too late.
He opens the door and let's out a scream; “Ahh I'm fucking blind! Izzy why didn't you warn me?!” he shrieks, slamming the door as fast as he can.
“I tried to you fucking idiot! You just ignored me and walked in anyway!” I protest.
“My eyes! Fuck they don't work anymore! I can't believe I just saw that!” he wails. Just then we hear Slash very heatedly say “Oh fuck Duff!” followed by a loud moan. Guess our barging in on them didn't stop them from going at it. The thought of Slash getting off, his back arching, his muscles flexing, that huge cock of his jerking in my hand...I have to stop myself from thinking about it because my dick is starting to get hard. Steven just looks at me when we hear Slash and then puts his hands over his ears and says “Now I'm deaf too!” and then runs off. I just sigh, adjust my dick, and make my way to the main bathroom where I cut the line because my bladder is going to explode if I don't.

Later that night I ride back to the hotel with Axl who's actually in a good mood for once. He lets me hold him in the limo and he apologizes several times for bringing my dad backstage. I tell him that it's not his fault and it isn't; he was just trying to do something nice for me and it went wrong but it's obviously worries him. “It's alright Fireball, you didn't do anything my dad did what he did all on his own, I'm not mad at you or anything baby,” I tell him after he apologizes for the hundredth time.

He nods and I hold my arms out to him and he seems happy to move into them. “I'm sorry your feelings got hurt though my Dark Angel, I wanted tonight to be happy for you,” he sighs and kisses my cheek.

“Yeah, well, now you know for sure: happiness and my family are two things that are not even remotely from the same planet. Don't worry about it Fireball, I still love you. Call me your Dark Angel again; it's been a long time since I've heard you call me that,” I beg.

“What, this morning was a long time ago?” he asks.

“Feels like this morning happened a million years ago,” I lament.

“Yeah it does, I'm exhausted. I love you Izzy, you're my beautiful Dark Angel and I hope you always will be. I know a lot of the time I act like an asshole and I hope you'll let me try and make it better because I really do love you Izzy,” Axl tells me. He looks me straight in the eye the whole time so I know he means it.

“I love you too Darlin,” I reply. He smiles and leans in to kiss me. It's not a hard kiss but it's a sweet one and it makes me happy because there hasn't been sweetness between us for a long time. I put my arms around him and pull him closer, deepening the kiss a little more. I don't want to scare him away but I've been dying for this kind of connection with him. I bring my hand up and cup his face; gently stroking his cheekbone with my thumb. He sighs happily in that deep, dumbly, voice of his and I can't help but smile into the kiss. He pulls back and smiles at me too.

“It's nice to see you smile Izzy,” he says.

“It's nice to feel like I want to smile. I've wanted to kiss you like that for a long time,” I tell him.

“Me too,” he says. But before I forget I wanted to ask you do you know what the fuck happened to Steven earlier? He came running into the party room a few minutes after you left saying he had been blinded and had gone deaf and then he grabbed two chicks and buried himself in their tits.”

This is so not what I want to talk about right now. “Can I tell you later? I don't want to ruin the moment,” I plead.

“Why would it ruin the moment? Now you really need to tell me,” he says.

I sigh deeply. “When I went to take a piss I didn't want to wait in line so I went to use the toilet in our dressing room only when I opened the door I find Duff jerking Slash off; they didn't lock the door. So I just turned around and left. Then Steven comes walking up and I try and stop him but he just walks past me and he saw the same thing so he started screaming that he's gone blind and then Slash got off pretty loudly and Steven started screaming about that too saying he'd gone deaf and then he ran off and I cut the line in the hallway bathroom. Can we go back to kissing now?” I ask hopefully.

“So you got a full frontal if Slash naked huh?” Axl asks raising his eyebrow at me. Fuck, I knew he'd be pissed.

“No, a side view, who cares? We could be kissing right now! Please Ax, I've wanted to hold you and kiss you for so long; I love you Fireball and it's been a long time since you've let me show you in any way, you won't even hold my hand half the time!” I whine.

Axl glares at me for a second and says “Fine, but you'd better only be thinking about me when you're kissing me and not the kid and his fucking wonder cock!”

I snort and pull him close. “The only wonder cock I'm thinking about is yours, I reassure him. I pull him back to my lips and kiss him until all the tension and anger in disappears and he fairly melts into my arms. When we finally get back to the hotel my dick is hard and painfully throbbing with need. I hurry Axl through the lobby past crazed fans and camera flashes to the elevator where I promptly take possession of his mouth again and our security guy pretends not to notice. When we get upstairs and into our room everything is fine, it's going great, until I try and unlace Axl’s pants. He pushes my hands away and says “No don't Izzy! I can't, I'm sorry, I thought I could but I can't.” He quickly pushes me out of the way and goes into the bedroom. I slam the bathroom door in frustration and kick it for good measure and then kick the trash can in the other direction. God damnit I'm so fucking frustrated with everything! I'm not angry at at Axl, I get that he's not ready yet and it's ok, I've been there too. But it's been so long and temptation is everywhere. Erin's been all up on me but I've been good and I haven't fucked her. I've let groupies blow me but I haven't fucked them and even that was interrupted tonight! To top it off I got a great view of Slash mostly naked and hard with somebody else's hand wrapped around his dick! What I wouldn't give to bend his pretty little ass over and give the ride of his life right about now! So that's what I imagine that I'm doing while I stand there and jerk off. I cum hard but I make sure to stay absolutely quiet. Then I clean myself off, shoot up, brush my teeth, and stumble out to the bed. Axl's already asleep or at least pretending to be so I just flip the light off and pass out.

I don't just sleep though I dream. In my dream I'm trying to make out with Axl who's sitting on my lap but he's not interested and tells me that he's fucking any junkies, that he might catch something. I tell him to go fuck himself and he leaves me alone in a genetic hotel room. He's not gone five minutes though when there's a knock at the door, no open it to find Slash, dressed only in a pair of red shorts standing there. Dream Slash tells me that he needs to borrow some picks, that he broke his last one and his tech is buying more but he needs one now because he really wants to play. I let him in and when the door shuts I grab him around the waist and pull him close to me, pressing my lips to his and telling him there's a fee he needs to pay for borrowing a pic.

Dream Slash just grins so I scoop him up and carry him to the bed where I quickly strip those little red shorts right off of him and lose my own clothes as well. I look down at him and he's so fucking gorgeous; those beautiful black curls and full lips and his gorgeous, huge, cock. Slash looks up at me and I groan. “You're so beautiful Pretty Baby,” I tell him.
“So are you Izzy,” he replies and reaches for me. I quickly move over top of him and he leans up eagerly and kisses me. His lips feel so fucking sweet, soft and plush and I shudder with want. I move my kisses down his jaw to his neck and he moans when I gently suckle the soft spot behind his ear. He arches up and grinds his hard cock against mine, his hands gripping my hips so that he can press against me harder. I groan loudly and bite down on that spot behind Slashs ear and he fucking keens! “Izzy, I want you inside of me,” he pants.

I reach over and grab the tube of lube I keep in the drawer of the nightstand and quickly flip it open and grease up my fingers. Then I gently slide one into him. He closes his eyes and bucks against my hand as a signal to put another one in and I give him what he wants. My fingers quickly find his prostate and begin to play. I strike over it quickly and lightly and then harder, finally gently pushing and rubbing that magic spot inside of him. He writhes on the bed under me groaning and begging for more. I gently work a third finger into him and begin to stretch him out. When I feel like he's open enough I remove my fingers and coat my dick in the warm, slippery lube and line it up with his entrance. “You ready baby?” I ask and he nods. I push into him and swear I've gone to heaven. He's so hot and tight and just fucking amazing; it's all I can do not to cum right then.

I slowly start to thrust and he moans, arching towards me. I claim his mouth again and he softly groans into my mouth as his hands snake up I to my hair. I love him for all I'm worth and bring him off twice; cumming with him the second time. But it's not over. We go into the bathroom and clean up but end up making out in the shower. He pulls me back into the bed after we've dried off and greased up his own fingers and gently presses two into me. I practically wail when he strokes my prostate and my cock throbs on my belly. He grins and adds another finger and works in stretching me out for a long while before he pulls his fingers out. “Want to straddle me Stradlin” he asks and grins.
“Fuck yeah!” I answer and we quickly rearrange ourselves on the bed. I sit up on my knees and maneuver his cock so that the tip is pressing against my entrance. I look down at him and he smiles. I smile back and begin to lower myself down onto his huge shaft. It feels so good that my eyes roll back in my head as I feel him slide into me. When he's all the way in and our bodies are flush against one another we pause for a second and he looks up at me and says “you feel so good Izzy; being inside of you always feels amazing.”

“Having your huge cock inside me feels pretty amazing too Pretty Baby,” I tell him and gently stroke his cheek. Then I place my hands on his chest and begin to ride him. I let out a loud groan when I start to move; he feels soo good; that amazing cock filling me up like nothing else ever has. I ride him for a while and we develop an easy rhythm punctuated by quiet moans and pleasures cries. Then he gently places his hands on my hips and stops me.

“Be still Izzy, let me do it,” he says quietly. I do what he asks and he holds me in place and thrusts up into me. I cry out in pleasure and he grins and does it again; driving his dick right into my spot. “Cum for me Izzy, I want to watch you get off for me,” he whispers and he starts up a fast and pleasurable pace. I cum in under 30 seconds yelling his name and somewhere in the middle of my own blissful haze I hear him cry out as well and I feel a warmth inside of me as he lets go. When I come down I realize that I'm almost sobbing his name over and over and I lean down and bury my face in his neck and he holds me tightly. I'm so happy here with him.

Suddenly there's a loud boom and I jerk awake. There's giggling in the hallway and then Steven’s drunken voice and more giggling. Fucking groupies and our idiot drummer. My hearts pounding and I realize my boxers are wet, they're cold in some spots and warm in others. My mind goes back to the dream and I realize that I came in my sleep, probably more than once judging from the sheer amount of liquid I'm feeling coating my thighs and boxers and my junk. I can't believe I had a wet dream; I'm almost 24! Shit, I really needed to get laid. I start moving very slowly and quietly out of the bed so that I don't wake up Axl but it's apparently too late for that because just as I reach the edge of the bed and think I've made it he says “Good dream Izzy?”

I jump about a foot and mumble something about not remembering. “I gotta go take a piss Axl,” I tell him and go to stand up.

“More like go clean the jizz off of yourself. Must have felt fucking good, you sure thrashed around and groaned enough and oh yeah, called out Slashs goddamn name over and over!” He yells now sitting up beside me. His eyes are full of fury and pain that I can see even in the dim light.

“Axl I'm sorry, I can't control what I dream, I didn't mean it baby, I didn't even know!” I protest.

“Yeah whatever Izzy, it's pretty obvious what you still want,” he growls.

“That's not fucking fair Axl, what I wanted tonight was you but I couldn't have that so I had to settle for my hand and I'm not complaining, I know you're not ready, but don't you dare accuse me of wanting someone else when all I've done is be good to you and try and it was you I was making out with tonight! I can't help what I dream about!” I reach out for him but he pushes my hand away and my face suddenly jerks from a powerful impact and pain spreads through my moth and nose and cheek; he backhanded me! He fucking hit me over a dream! I taste blood in my mouth and I let out a choked sob; not because it hurts but because the fact that he's going to start hitting me again smacks me in the face way harder than he just did! My heart breaks with the realization that nothing's really changed and probably never will.

Axl must realize that I'm crying and probably honestly just realized that he hit me too. “Izzy I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!” he says and scrambles across the bed towards me. I quickly move to dodge him and stand up, the cold wetness of my shorts clinging to my skin.

“Don't even bother Axl, don't touch me. I thought we were done with hitting each other but you never change. Just leave me alone,” I tell him. I know he can hear the tears in my voice which embarrasses me even more but I don't let him touch me which of course he tries to, wanting to see what he's done and hold me and apologize but I push him off, grab some clean shorts and lock myself in the bathroom. I look in the mirror and my face doesn't look too bad, it's only going to bruise where my lip is split. I peel off my boxers and hop into the shower where I wash them out and hang them up to dry before I clean myself. I cry through the whole shower and I can hear Axl's howls of rage and lots of loud crashes as he throws shit around the room. I get out and dry off and put on my new shorts. I don't want to stay here. I don't want to be alone but I'm not staying here. I exit the bathroom, quickly throw in my pants and a shirt and grab my boots and socks and leave the room; ignoring Axl's profuse apologies. I don't want to hear it; not right now anyway. I open the door and slam it behind me. I survey the scene in the hallway: drunken parties, Crue minus Mick, shit here comes Nikki.

“What's up Stradlin? You and Rosie have a fight? Your lips a little swollen and your eyes are puffy, didn't enjoy Daddy's visit? Is that what you're fighting about?” he simpers.

“Fuck off Nikki, this has nothing to do with you,” I hiss. In my head I'm trying to figure out where to go. Erin and Mandy’s room is to my left but I'll have to get past Tommy and Vince to get there and if they gang up on me at the door they could hurt me and the girls and they're drunk enough to do it. Steven’s room is in the same direction and his door is wide open and some dude is passed out halfway into the room. Nope. This leaves me with one choice which is Duff and Slash’s room which is where I want to go and is to my right. The room they actually sleep in is probably connected to the room that is rented out in Slash’s name by one of those internal doors. I can sleep there with the door open and not have to be alone; it feels just like when Axl dumped me off at their apartment a few years ago and they let me stay because I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone.

I break right and pound on their door. I hear Duff’s tired voice yell “Who is it?” through the door and over the noise of the party.

“It's Izzy,” I yell back. I hear Slash tell him to let me in.

“Ohh, going to have a threesome? Can I watch?” Nikki asks laughing.

“Fuck off Nikki,” I growl and disappear into the room when Duff opens the door for me.

When the door is locked and bolted behind me Duff and Slash get a look at my face. “Why did he hit you?” Duff asks with no need to question who in fact hit me.

“I had a dream he didn't like the sound of apparently; don't really even remember the dream but I guess it wasn't about him. Doesn't matter, wasn't a reason to hit me,” I mumble. “ can I sleep in the other room, the empty one next door?”

“Yeah, the door’s only locked on this side we’ll open it for you,” Duff says. Slash disappeared into the bathroom and came out with a wet washcloth full of ice and a small towel along with four ibuprofen and some water. I swallowed the pills and gratefully took the ice; my lip was starting to ache.

“Thanks kid. Thanks to both of you for letting me in and for letting me sleep next door; will you leave the door open a little? I don't want to be by myself. I know that sounds stupid but,”

“It's not stupid,” Slash interjects. “I get it, I don't like being alone either; neither does Duff.”

“It's fine Izzy, we know how you feel,” Duff says. I have to give Duff credit, he knows I was dreaming about his boyfriend, the one I stole from him (sort of, he fucked things up; I just took advantage of the opportunity) and he knows I still have feelings for the kid but he doesn't say anything, he's just nice to me, treats me like a friend, doesn't turn me away. But then he's pretty confident in his relationship with Curly Sue at the moment; he might not be so nice if things weren't good for them.

Duff opens the door and I stand up and wearily walk through it. “Do you want a hit Izzy?” Slash asks. So you can go back to sleep?”

“Umm yeah if it's ok? I can give you some of mine in the morning,” I mutter.

“Don't worry about it,” he says and goes back into the other room to get a hit ready for me.

I turn to Duff. “Thanks for letting me stay man, I know it's a little weird but you guys are all I've got.”

“Izzy it's cool. We’re cool. Keep your hands off of Slash and we’ll stay cool. I'm not going to turn you away when you need us dude,” duff tells me.

“Thanks,” I reply. Just then Slash comes bouncing into the room with not one but two syringes full of liquid heaven. He hands one to me along with a belt and I get to work on getting the heroin into my arm. He holds on to the other one and gives Duff a pleading look.

“Please Duffy? Just this once? It's hard to watch him do it and not do it too!” Slash begs.

“Baby Boy you know I don't like for you to have more than two shots per day,” Duff protests.

“Please, just tonight?” Slash pleads.

“Ok but just tonight and just because I know it's hard for you to have Izzy do it and you not want it. But there aren't going to be any more extra shots and if I find out there have been you're both in trouble. Izzy don't even think about giving him anything extra or I will cut your fingers off! And you,” he says turning to Slash “I'll cut off something much more intimate of yours.”

“No you won’t because then you wouldn't get to enjoy it,” Slash teases.

“True. But all jokes aside I mean it, no more extra shots. This is a one time deal. It took me two and a half weeks to get you back down to two shots a day and you've been doing really well. So promise me you won't do any shots behind my back,” Duff sternly demands.

“I promise,” Slash says. “ I love you Duffy, I won't let you down.”

“I love you too, that's why I try and let you have your fun within limits; it's not like I can tell you to quit and keep drinking. I know why you do it I just don't want you to get hurt because you got high and passed out and get robbed like you did that one time a couple years ago and if you ever OD on me again I might have a heart attack myself and you get out of control fast so absolutely no extra shots unless they come from me, got it?” Duff asks.
“Yeah, I got it Duffy,” Slash sighs.

“I love you Baby Boy,” Duff says as he pulls Slash into his arms. “I'm not not trying to be hard on you.” I look at them through my hair, pretending to be trying to find a vein. Duff’s face is buried in Slash’s hair and his arms are wrapped tightly around him, cradling him against his chest. Slash is snuggled happily into him, his eyes are closed too and there's a little smile on his face. They look so happy. I can tell just by the way he holds Slash that he really does treasure him. The fact that Slash didn't fight Duff curbing his smack intake spoke volumes about how much he loved him and I knew that because Slash respected his lover he wouldn't do any more shots behind his back. Their I've for each other had its flaws but overall it was pure, and sweet, and real and everything I wanted but didn't have. I tried so hard not to be jealous but it was hard when I was sitting here because Axl smacked me and busted my lip and those two were all snuggled up together.

I manage to spike a vein and shoot the drugs into my arm and then hand the belt to Slash. I feel the heavenly rush run through me as I watch Curly Sie tie off. My lip suddenly doesn't hurt anymore and neither does my heart right this second. Duff kneels down in the floor in front of the bed and carefully feels for Slash’s vein before slipping the needle in and checking for a flashback. When he gets one and injects the drug into Slash’s arm and slash drops the belt and moans. Duff’s every movement had been careful and precise, making sure he didn't do anything to hurt Slash. He was exactly what Slash needed and deserved. Slash smiles and lays back on the bed and instantly falls asleep.

“That's why he doesn't get any extra shots,” Duff said shaking his head. He bent down and picked the kid up. Slash stirred just enough to wrap his arms around Duff’s neck and nuzzle into his shoulder. Duff sighed and kissed the top of Slashs head. “Good night Izzy, let me know if you need anything ok?”

“Yep, good night.” I reply. What I need he’ll never give me because it's his most precious treasure and he's carrying him to bedeviled I watch with a pained, envious, heart