Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
I can’t sleep. Axl’s wrapped around me and I’ve had a shitload of smack but I can’t sleep. I feel so fucking guilty. Slash was laying in bed in the next room basically comatose which is better than what he’d be feeling if he was awake. When I came into the room after I left Nikki’s Slash was curled up in the middle of their bed asleep. His face is bruised and so is his stomach and there’s a bandage wrapped around his upper arm covering the cut Nikki gave him as well as other various small cuts where Nikki had scratched him with the knife while he was holding it to his throat threatening Duff and me when we would look away from what he was doing to the kid.. He looked so peaceful, so different from the way he looked a couple hours before. I had stopped and tried to apologize to him. I knew he probably couldn’t hear me but he had opened his eyes and looked at me; his beautiful eyes were so full of pain and disappointment and shock. He didn’t say anything, he just looked up at me with those brown pools of pain and my heart broke a little more.
I can’t even think about what happened to Slash without crying; he’d tried so hard to be brave. He fought in the beginning, smarted off to Nikki and refused to cooperate. Nikki responded by giving him a nasty cut on his upper arm with his switchblade. The kid had hissed at the sting but didn’t make a sound otherwise, refusing to give Nikki the satisfaction of seeing him cry or whimper. We he refused to open his mouth and suck Nikki’s dick Nikki had slapped him and told Tommy to give Duff a matching hand print on his face. Slash didn’t even have time to protest before Tommy delivered a stinging blow to Duff’s face. Nikki then told him that every time he resisted or refused one of us would pay. Duff told him not to worry about us but I didn’t say anything; Nikki would find a way to hurt us if he wanted to whether or not Slash did what he said. But when Tommy hit Duff Slash gave in and sucked Nikki’s cock for real. When Nikki made him quit and moved behind him Slash turned his head and a myriad of emotions were evident on his face. Relief maybe that we’re there and he’s not alone with these two monsters, sadness, and humiliation; he knew that we were going to see everything that they did to him, and fear mixed with resignation. He knew that there was no getting out of this, no one was going to come and save us and he knew that whatever they did it was going to hurt and humiliate him and he couldn’t hide the fear and dread in his eyes. Slash didn’t protest when Nikki took him either; he just looked at Duff with eyes full of tears and then turned away from us in shame. Duff and I tried to avert our eyes but every time we’d look away Nikki’s knife would end up pressed to Slash’s throat.
Duff cried from the second he was forced to watch Nikki’s dick sliding into his lover; the look in Slash’s eyes when he looked at him had been enough to push him over the edge. I’d been forced to watch other people fuck Axl against his will so many times that I was just fucking numb to it; at least outwardly. On the inside what was left of my heart broke watching the only person I’d ever loved besides Axl being forced into submission and humiliated. What kind of fucked up karma do I have anyway? Is there some curse on me that declares that anyone who dares to care about me will be viciously assaulted in front of me? Tommy had moved into Nikki’s former spot and Slash struggled to take Tommy’s dick in his mouth while Nikki fucked him hard from behind. The poor kid coughed and choked as he had his airway cut off over and over again as Tommy fucked his throat. Slash gives fucking amazing head; you don’t need to skull fuck him to get off but this was about hurting and humiliating all of us as much as it was about sexual gratification. Tommy came pretty quickly; shooting his load as much on Slash’s face as in his mouth. The poor kid was doing his best to hold back tears but they spilled over when Tommy refused to let him clean off his face. Then Nikki started moving like a goddamn jackrabbit and groaned obscenely as he came hard, grinding and pounding into Slash’s unwilling body. Slash just closed his eyes and cried quietly for Duff.
It had just gotten worse after that. Watching Nikki get off got Tommy hard again so as soon as Nikki was done and out of the way that fucker was behind him lining himself up. Nikki hadn’t bothered to stretch or prep Slash before he fucked him but he was just average size; Duff and I were both bigger and Slash was used to both of us. Tommy didn’t bother to do what Nikki hadn’t done and open Slash up to him either; he just greased up his dick with a handful of lube, lined himself up, and thrust into the kid’s already abused and resisting body. He didn’t slam himself into him with total sadistic abandon like he did me but he still did it hard enough to hurt. Slash’s eyes go wide and he lets out a horrified, pain-filled, shriek at the same time that Tommy lets out a breathy groan. “Oh fuck, no wonder everyone in the business wanted this kid Nikki; he feels like a fucking virgin, even better than Stradlin!” Tommy groaned. Tommy had torn him open; although not anything like what he'd done to me but there was still a fair amount of blood running down Slash’s thighs. The kid had screamed and begged for Duff and me to help him. Duff had bloodied his wrists fighting to get free until I told him to stop that he was going to slice through a vein. Duff had sobbed out an apology to Slash who cried and told him it was ok. Of course right at that second Tommy decided to hammer the kid so he could get off. Slash had let out a short, sharp cry and then sobbed Duff’s name. Duff went crazy again and Nikki just howled like it was the funniest thing ever. Duff of course started flipping out again; watching your lover beg for you while someone fucks them until they bleed is a horror I wouldn't wish on anyone, well except maybe Nikki. When Tommy came he pulled out and squirted all over Slash’s back and Slash flinched at every jet of jizz that hit his skin.
It just went on and one for the next couple of hours or so until Slash begged for Nikki to let him take a piss, even if it was just in the empty Jack bottle sitting by the bed. They’d been steadily giving the kid water to keep his mouth from getting dry when he sucked them off so he probably really had to go at that point. That fucker Nikki just laughed and refused but his eyes lit up and he said he had another use for the bottle. Slash’s eyes went wide and Nikki cackled and told him he hadn’t forgotten that Slash tried to whack him in the head with a bottle of Jack a couple of weeks ago and that he’d warned him. We all knew what that use was. Slash begged him not to use that bottle on him; I begged, Duff begged, we threatened Nikki with what would happen when we got loose but that fucker didn't care. What happened next will forever be burned into my brain. It was just as bad as the bat incident in my mind. Nikki greased that bottle up, teased Slash by running it all over his ass, and then jammed it into him with no warning. The kid screeched, Nikki and Tommy laughed, Duff wailed “Nooo,” and I yelled for Nikki to stop. Fresh blood ran down the kid’s thighs and he sobbed.
“Oh, baby, does it hurt?” Nikki simpered. Slash didn't answer so Tommy had choked him by shoving his dick down his throat and then Nikki asked again forcing a “yes” out of the kid. They fucked him with the bottle for a while but got bored so they pulled it out and Tommy immediately thrust back in and Slash let out a long, pain-filled cry. Nikki had slapped him and told him to shut up or he would cut his nuts off with his switchblade and then shoved his cock down Slash’s throat for good measure. The last coherent thing Slash was Duff’s name every once in awhile.
They fucked that kid for hours; switching ends, cumming all over his back and face and in his hair, just refusing to let up. Duff and I got quiet after a while; anything we said or did just egged them on. Slash just retreated inside himself somewhere; only coming back to ask for water every now and then. He didn't shriek or cry anymore he just grunted. After three hours or so his arms and legs just started to give way, but every time he would fall Nikki would slap him or jerk his hair. When Slash pissed on himself I wasn't surprised; he'd asked to take a piss about 45 minutes before and they’d refused and he was beyond exhausted and losing control of his body. I needed to get him out of there!When Nikki belted him his eyes rolled back in his head and I hoped he would pass out so they would let him go but he didn't. I couldn’t take it anymore so I used my trump card, my ace in the hole if you will: I offered myself to Nikki in exchange for letting Curly Sue and Duff go and made him promise never to hurt the others again, but I doubt promises mean much to a sick fuck like Nikki. But at least he would stop hurting Slash at that moment. When Duff carried a limp, babbling Curly Sure out the door to safety I let out a silent sigh of relief, he was out of here and he was safe.
What happened with Nikki after Duff left the room carrying Curly Sue... I don't even know how to fucking feel about it. I'm horrified by what happened to the kid, to Axl, to me, and I want to shoot that mother fucker’s nuts off! At the same time the fucker meant it when he said he loved me and he was genuinely sweet to me; he didn't rough me up or anything. Shit, it was a damn sight nicer than I'd been getting from Axl lately since he'd gone off on some pain fetish and started watching himself fuck me in ways that hurt me. Nikki had even kissed the bruises from all the bite marks Axl had left. He'd held me and petted me and was just...sweet and strangely vulnerable. I'd almost enjoyed myself beyond the orgasm but obviously I couldn't; how fucked up would that be? The whole time it was happening part of my brain was screaming that I was getting fucked on the bed where my Pretty Baby had just been raped; Nikki had thrown the top sheet back over the bed but it was still wet in places from where the poor kid had pissed himself and in some places there were spots of blood soaking through the sheets.
Oh my god Slash...so earlier all the rest of us were standing in Duff and Slash’s room in stunned, distressed, silence. Duff looked like a truck smashed his puppy flat right in front of him. He was crying and shaking and running his hands through his hair in full blown panic mode and had had way too much coke. Axl and I had looked at each other and silently agreed: he needed a fucking hit. Surprisingly it didn't take much convincing; he argues a little and then just puts his arm out for the needle. He could hardly keep his eyes open after the shot but he was afraid to go to sleep and let his guard down. “Is the adjoining room in this hotel technically Slash’s like it was in the last hotel?” I asked.
“Yeah, we always get adjoining rooms,” he sniffled.
“Then Axl and I will sleep in there, Popcorn can sleep on the couch in either room, will that make you feel better?” I ask.
“Yeah, that would be good,” he says quietly.
“Good, then get in bed and wrap your arms him, he needs to feel you close to him now more than ever,” I tell him.
“Thanks for staying here with us and thanks for getting Nikki to let him go. I want to know what went down but tomorrow. But are you ok? Did he hurt you?” Duff asks wearily.
“No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, just focus on the kid. Get some sleep,” I answer. He nods and crawls under the blankets and wraps himself around Slash who must sense him somehow because he snuggles back into his warmth. I turn off the light next to their bed and Axl and I unlock the door to the next room. Popcorn is already passed out on Slash and Duff’s couch and we leave him there for the night. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long one and man was I right.
I take a long, hot, shower and Axl helps, he scrubs my body down with a washcloth and then brings me to bed with him and sings Johnny Cash songs to me, or one Johnny Cash song more specifically "I Walk the Line." I just lay with him enjoying the peaceful interlude and the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. But we're startled out of our peaceful, comforting, embrace by screams from the next room.
“No! Don't! Please don't!” The kid screams. The bottle, he's dreaming about them shoving that bottle inside of him!
I bolt up and out of the bed and into the other room even while Axl is telling me that Slash is just dreaming and that he's ok; he follows me to the door though. By the time we make it next door Duff is shaking the kid awake. He wakes up trying to shove Duff’s hands away, still lost in his dream. “Hey, it's me, Baby Boy, it's me. You're safe, I've got you,” Duff tells him, trying to calm him down.
Slash stops fighting him and looks up into Duff’s face. “Duffy?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, I'm right here sweetness, you're ok, you were just dreaming. It's ok Baby Boy,” Duff whispers.
Slash clings to him and Duff pulls him up into a sitting position and wraps his arms around him and soothingly strokes his hair and his back. The poor kid is shaking and tears run silently down his sweet baby face which he buries in Duff’s neck. God what I wouldn't give for Axl to cling to me like that when he was hurting, for him to run to me with his pain and know without a doubt that I would do my best to make it better. He used to, but now all he did was push me away and fuck me like he was freaking raping me! Axl and I turn and walk back into the other room and a pang of longing runs through me. “Axe,” I ask tentatively, “will you hold me like that if I wake up having nightmares?”
“Sure my Dark Angel, don’t I always?” he asks.
"No," I think to myself. "When I was having nightmares lots of times you were in bed with Erin and lately the way you've been fucking me does nothing but remind me of different ways people have attacked me over the years. The person who's made me feel safe and loved is curled up in bed screaming in another man's arms because I was too chicken shit to speak up sooner and stop Nikki and Tommy from taking everything that he had to give and more and it's destroyed him. Axl's right, I'm a piece of shit junkie that's not worth anything.
I can’t even think about what happened to Slash without crying; he’d tried so hard to be brave. He fought in the beginning, smarted off to Nikki and refused to cooperate. Nikki responded by giving him a nasty cut on his upper arm with his switchblade. The kid had hissed at the sting but didn’t make a sound otherwise, refusing to give Nikki the satisfaction of seeing him cry or whimper. We he refused to open his mouth and suck Nikki’s dick Nikki had slapped him and told Tommy to give Duff a matching hand print on his face. Slash didn’t even have time to protest before Tommy delivered a stinging blow to Duff’s face. Nikki then told him that every time he resisted or refused one of us would pay. Duff told him not to worry about us but I didn’t say anything; Nikki would find a way to hurt us if he wanted to whether or not Slash did what he said. But when Tommy hit Duff Slash gave in and sucked Nikki’s cock for real. When Nikki made him quit and moved behind him Slash turned his head and a myriad of emotions were evident on his face. Relief maybe that we’re there and he’s not alone with these two monsters, sadness, and humiliation; he knew that we were going to see everything that they did to him, and fear mixed with resignation. He knew that there was no getting out of this, no one was going to come and save us and he knew that whatever they did it was going to hurt and humiliate him and he couldn’t hide the fear and dread in his eyes. Slash didn’t protest when Nikki took him either; he just looked at Duff with eyes full of tears and then turned away from us in shame. Duff and I tried to avert our eyes but every time we’d look away Nikki’s knife would end up pressed to Slash’s throat.
Duff cried from the second he was forced to watch Nikki’s dick sliding into his lover; the look in Slash’s eyes when he looked at him had been enough to push him over the edge. I’d been forced to watch other people fuck Axl against his will so many times that I was just fucking numb to it; at least outwardly. On the inside what was left of my heart broke watching the only person I’d ever loved besides Axl being forced into submission and humiliated. What kind of fucked up karma do I have anyway? Is there some curse on me that declares that anyone who dares to care about me will be viciously assaulted in front of me? Tommy had moved into Nikki’s former spot and Slash struggled to take Tommy’s dick in his mouth while Nikki fucked him hard from behind. The poor kid coughed and choked as he had his airway cut off over and over again as Tommy fucked his throat. Slash gives fucking amazing head; you don’t need to skull fuck him to get off but this was about hurting and humiliating all of us as much as it was about sexual gratification. Tommy came pretty quickly; shooting his load as much on Slash’s face as in his mouth. The poor kid was doing his best to hold back tears but they spilled over when Tommy refused to let him clean off his face. Then Nikki started moving like a goddamn jackrabbit and groaned obscenely as he came hard, grinding and pounding into Slash’s unwilling body. Slash just closed his eyes and cried quietly for Duff.
It had just gotten worse after that. Watching Nikki get off got Tommy hard again so as soon as Nikki was done and out of the way that fucker was behind him lining himself up. Nikki hadn’t bothered to stretch or prep Slash before he fucked him but he was just average size; Duff and I were both bigger and Slash was used to both of us. Tommy didn’t bother to do what Nikki hadn’t done and open Slash up to him either; he just greased up his dick with a handful of lube, lined himself up, and thrust into the kid’s already abused and resisting body. He didn’t slam himself into him with total sadistic abandon like he did me but he still did it hard enough to hurt. Slash’s eyes go wide and he lets out a horrified, pain-filled, shriek at the same time that Tommy lets out a breathy groan. “Oh fuck, no wonder everyone in the business wanted this kid Nikki; he feels like a fucking virgin, even better than Stradlin!” Tommy groaned. Tommy had torn him open; although not anything like what he'd done to me but there was still a fair amount of blood running down Slash’s thighs. The kid had screamed and begged for Duff and me to help him. Duff had bloodied his wrists fighting to get free until I told him to stop that he was going to slice through a vein. Duff had sobbed out an apology to Slash who cried and told him it was ok. Of course right at that second Tommy decided to hammer the kid so he could get off. Slash had let out a short, sharp cry and then sobbed Duff’s name. Duff went crazy again and Nikki just howled like it was the funniest thing ever. Duff of course started flipping out again; watching your lover beg for you while someone fucks them until they bleed is a horror I wouldn't wish on anyone, well except maybe Nikki. When Tommy came he pulled out and squirted all over Slash’s back and Slash flinched at every jet of jizz that hit his skin.
It just went on and one for the next couple of hours or so until Slash begged for Nikki to let him take a piss, even if it was just in the empty Jack bottle sitting by the bed. They’d been steadily giving the kid water to keep his mouth from getting dry when he sucked them off so he probably really had to go at that point. That fucker Nikki just laughed and refused but his eyes lit up and he said he had another use for the bottle. Slash’s eyes went wide and Nikki cackled and told him he hadn’t forgotten that Slash tried to whack him in the head with a bottle of Jack a couple of weeks ago and that he’d warned him. We all knew what that use was. Slash begged him not to use that bottle on him; I begged, Duff begged, we threatened Nikki with what would happen when we got loose but that fucker didn't care. What happened next will forever be burned into my brain. It was just as bad as the bat incident in my mind. Nikki greased that bottle up, teased Slash by running it all over his ass, and then jammed it into him with no warning. The kid screeched, Nikki and Tommy laughed, Duff wailed “Nooo,” and I yelled for Nikki to stop. Fresh blood ran down the kid’s thighs and he sobbed.
“Oh, baby, does it hurt?” Nikki simpered. Slash didn't answer so Tommy had choked him by shoving his dick down his throat and then Nikki asked again forcing a “yes” out of the kid. They fucked him with the bottle for a while but got bored so they pulled it out and Tommy immediately thrust back in and Slash let out a long, pain-filled cry. Nikki had slapped him and told him to shut up or he would cut his nuts off with his switchblade and then shoved his cock down Slash’s throat for good measure. The last coherent thing Slash was Duff’s name every once in awhile.
They fucked that kid for hours; switching ends, cumming all over his back and face and in his hair, just refusing to let up. Duff and I got quiet after a while; anything we said or did just egged them on. Slash just retreated inside himself somewhere; only coming back to ask for water every now and then. He didn't shriek or cry anymore he just grunted. After three hours or so his arms and legs just started to give way, but every time he would fall Nikki would slap him or jerk his hair. When Slash pissed on himself I wasn't surprised; he'd asked to take a piss about 45 minutes before and they’d refused and he was beyond exhausted and losing control of his body. I needed to get him out of there!When Nikki belted him his eyes rolled back in his head and I hoped he would pass out so they would let him go but he didn't. I couldn’t take it anymore so I used my trump card, my ace in the hole if you will: I offered myself to Nikki in exchange for letting Curly Sue and Duff go and made him promise never to hurt the others again, but I doubt promises mean much to a sick fuck like Nikki. But at least he would stop hurting Slash at that moment. When Duff carried a limp, babbling Curly Sure out the door to safety I let out a silent sigh of relief, he was out of here and he was safe.
What happened with Nikki after Duff left the room carrying Curly Sue... I don't even know how to fucking feel about it. I'm horrified by what happened to the kid, to Axl, to me, and I want to shoot that mother fucker’s nuts off! At the same time the fucker meant it when he said he loved me and he was genuinely sweet to me; he didn't rough me up or anything. Shit, it was a damn sight nicer than I'd been getting from Axl lately since he'd gone off on some pain fetish and started watching himself fuck me in ways that hurt me. Nikki had even kissed the bruises from all the bite marks Axl had left. He'd held me and petted me and was just...sweet and strangely vulnerable. I'd almost enjoyed myself beyond the orgasm but obviously I couldn't; how fucked up would that be? The whole time it was happening part of my brain was screaming that I was getting fucked on the bed where my Pretty Baby had just been raped; Nikki had thrown the top sheet back over the bed but it was still wet in places from where the poor kid had pissed himself and in some places there were spots of blood soaking through the sheets.
Oh my god Slash...so earlier all the rest of us were standing in Duff and Slash’s room in stunned, distressed, silence. Duff looked like a truck smashed his puppy flat right in front of him. He was crying and shaking and running his hands through his hair in full blown panic mode and had had way too much coke. Axl and I had looked at each other and silently agreed: he needed a fucking hit. Surprisingly it didn't take much convincing; he argues a little and then just puts his arm out for the needle. He could hardly keep his eyes open after the shot but he was afraid to go to sleep and let his guard down. “Is the adjoining room in this hotel technically Slash’s like it was in the last hotel?” I asked.
“Yeah, we always get adjoining rooms,” he sniffled.
“Then Axl and I will sleep in there, Popcorn can sleep on the couch in either room, will that make you feel better?” I ask.
“Yeah, that would be good,” he says quietly.
“Good, then get in bed and wrap your arms him, he needs to feel you close to him now more than ever,” I tell him.
“Thanks for staying here with us and thanks for getting Nikki to let him go. I want to know what went down but tomorrow. But are you ok? Did he hurt you?” Duff asks wearily.
“No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, just focus on the kid. Get some sleep,” I answer. He nods and crawls under the blankets and wraps himself around Slash who must sense him somehow because he snuggles back into his warmth. I turn off the light next to their bed and Axl and I unlock the door to the next room. Popcorn is already passed out on Slash and Duff’s couch and we leave him there for the night. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long one and man was I right.
I take a long, hot, shower and Axl helps, he scrubs my body down with a washcloth and then brings me to bed with him and sings Johnny Cash songs to me, or one Johnny Cash song more specifically "I Walk the Line." I just lay with him enjoying the peaceful interlude and the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. But we're startled out of our peaceful, comforting, embrace by screams from the next room.
“No! Don't! Please don't!” The kid screams. The bottle, he's dreaming about them shoving that bottle inside of him!
I bolt up and out of the bed and into the other room even while Axl is telling me that Slash is just dreaming and that he's ok; he follows me to the door though. By the time we make it next door Duff is shaking the kid awake. He wakes up trying to shove Duff’s hands away, still lost in his dream. “Hey, it's me, Baby Boy, it's me. You're safe, I've got you,” Duff tells him, trying to calm him down.
Slash stops fighting him and looks up into Duff’s face. “Duffy?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, I'm right here sweetness, you're ok, you were just dreaming. It's ok Baby Boy,” Duff whispers.
Slash clings to him and Duff pulls him up into a sitting position and wraps his arms around him and soothingly strokes his hair and his back. The poor kid is shaking and tears run silently down his sweet baby face which he buries in Duff’s neck. God what I wouldn't give for Axl to cling to me like that when he was hurting, for him to run to me with his pain and know without a doubt that I would do my best to make it better. He used to, but now all he did was push me away and fuck me like he was freaking raping me! Axl and I turn and walk back into the other room and a pang of longing runs through me. “Axe,” I ask tentatively, “will you hold me like that if I wake up having nightmares?”
“Sure my Dark Angel, don’t I always?” he asks.
"No," I think to myself. "When I was having nightmares lots of times you were in bed with Erin and lately the way you've been fucking me does nothing but remind me of different ways people have attacked me over the years. The person who's made me feel safe and loved is curled up in bed screaming in another man's arms because I was too chicken shit to speak up sooner and stop Nikki and Tommy from taking everything that he had to give and more and it's destroyed him. Axl's right, I'm a piece of shit junkie that's not worth anything.
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