FicWad

Erin

The second my plane landed I got this heavy feeling. I wasn't able to reach Axl or Izzy for days. Usually one or both of them show up to the airport to get me. But today it's Axl's bodyguard. He tells me the guys are at the hotel. So I get in the limo with the gut feeling something was wrong. When I get to the hotel I walk into the lobby and see Nikki at the front desk. He's sending a telegram and ignores me. I slip into the elevator and go up to Axl and Izzy's room. I knock quietly. It's Izzy who answers. He cordially leans forward and gives me a small kiss. He let's me in without saying anything. His gaze diverts to the bathroom door. I sit my luggage aside and sit at the end of the bed.

"Where's Axl?" I ask.

Izzy simply motions to the bathroom with his head. "He's been in there for close to five hours," he says distantly, still staring at the door.

"Why?" I ask.

Izzy shrugs, "maybe his room service wasn't right. Maybe it's contact issues. Might be meditating. Could be avoiding me. Fuck he might be mentally preparing for the show tonight....who fucking knows, he don't tell me shit about what's going on in his head anymore." Izzy looks down sadly

"Has something happened?" I ask genuinely concerned.

"You might say that," he says sitting on the opposite side of the bed. "They got Slash....Nikki and Tommy. They forced me and Duff to watch."

"Oh my god! Is Slash ok?" I ask feeling my stomach drop.

Izzy slightly shakes his head, " How could he be? But I got them to stop."

"You didn't kill anyone did you?" I ask fearing the worse.

"I killed my whole band," he mutters ""Duff's married to a woman he doesn't love. Stevie almost died snorting Comet. Axl and Slash got raped....all in the name of Nikki's love for me..so I figured there was just one way to make him stop. So I fucked him. He let Duff and Slash go. He kicked Tommy out and he...it didn't hurt, he wasn't rough he promised not to hurt anyone else if I basically have an affair with him."

"Did you tell Axl?" I knew there was no way Axl would ever allow Izzy to do something like that.

"Everything except that Nikki wants it to happen again.. I can't tell him that. He's not...well," Izzy says glancing back to the bathroom door. "I've caught him talking to himself a few times. His mood swings are getting so rampantly unpredictable. Even the sex is different."

"Different how?" I question.

"Oh I'm sure you'll experience it first hand...but then, you do like it rough so you'll probably think it's the best you've ever had," he snorts.

"He's been being rough with you?" I ask. I find it hard to believe. I've seen them together dozens of times. You can feel their love for each other It's hard to imagine Axl being rough with Izzy. Sure they've gotten carried away, but Izzy's never mentioned anything about Axl being too rough for him.

"It's more than that...it's almost vengeful," Izzy says and stares down at his feet. "As sick and twisted as it sounds, Nikki was so gentle...how fucked up is it that I enjoyed the sex of one of my rapists over my Fireball?"

I can see the tears forming in his eyes. I've never seen this much hurt in Izzy before. Normally he'd die before showing me such vulnerability. Shit must have been bad if he was confiding in me. Maybe everyone else was blaming him as much as he was blaming himself. That's hard to imagine. They had all depended on Izzy to fix everything. They leaned on him for his strength.

"Nikki has a very passionate side," I say softly, "That was one of the things that made me fall in love with him. But he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. You know that even better than I do."

"Yeah," Izzy sighs. Then he looks over at me. "You wanna go down to the pool with me? It's indoor and heated."

"That might do wonders for my jet lag," I nod, "but I don't have a swimsuit."

"Me either, but they sell them in the gift shop."

"Sure," I smile, " should we tell Axl?"

Izzy looks to the bathroom door again. "I'll just leave him a note."

So Izzy buys us some suits and we go into the room with the pool. Izzy dives in from the diving board and I walk in down the stairs in the shallow end. Izzy surfaces in front of me. I smile and he just stares. He wipes the water from his face and then I feel his hands on my hips pulling me closer. He tilts his head and brushes his lips over mine. He wraps my legs around his waist and walks us to the side of the pool. He grabs the side with both hands, boxing me in. He leans in and kisses me again. His tongue sweeps my lips asking for entry I'm all too happy to give. He kisses me so gracefully, for quite a while. When he moves away I look at him apprehensively.

"Don't worry darlin, I ain't trying to fuck you here in the pool. I just...I just need a gentle touch." He gently strokes my cheek.

I push a wet strand of hair from his forehead. " You seem so sad," I whisper.

And to my surprise Izzy starts sobbing. I wrap my arms around him feeling his body convulsing with his cries. I couldn't believe he came looking for comfort in my arms. It wasn't that long ago that he hated me and didn't trust me. I guess he felt he had alienated himself from the guys. I guess he had nowhere to turn but me.

"It's going to be ok, just takes time," I whisper in his ear as I stroke his back.

"I don't think so, not this time. I feel Axl growing more and more distant every day. Duff told me to back off from him and Slash and give them space. Stevie is even avoiding me. And Axl.... don't even know what to say about Axl. The only people who dont push me away are you and fucking Nikki. He sent me fucking chocolates to our room the morning after I fucked him. Axls not dumb, he knows Nikki sent them. And this morning I got a brand-new Gibson. Wonder who sent that? Axls been in the bathroom since a bell hop delivered it. Axl didn't say one fucking word. When I knocked on the door he told me to go play my new guitar. Everything is just falling apart."

" It's the last show. You guys have been on the road almost a year and a half. You just need a break. Things are always difficult with you and Axl, but it never lasts. Once you guys get away from Nikki everything will slowly get better. I have faith in your love for one another," I try to reassure him.

"I'm not so sure if Axl still does. He can barely even look at me Erin," Izzy shakes his head and wipes his tears away. "What's left of me to even love?"

I hug him close to me again. "There's still plenty to love Izzy. You put up this hard and uncaring front but Axl knows that's all it is. He loves you Izzy. More than I've ever seen a person love another person."

"You don't spend much time around Duff and Slash do you?" he snorts.

" Just be patient and wait. Axl will come around. Nikki leaves for Japan in two days and will be gone a whole month. It'll get better when he goes away."

"I just can't shake the feeling that it wont," he sighs deeply with his head buried in my neck.