FicWad

Steven

I was in my room shooting dope and watching us on MTV. It was late...early...dark. It's pretty quiet here at camp GNR. Izzy's at Axl's place cuz Axl flipped his lid again. Duff f is out Christmas shopping. He has a huge family so it's going to take a while. Slash couldn't go because Duff wanted his gift to be a surprise. Slash is alone in his room across the hall. Not much going on by way of the press tonight. They had been hounding us for weeks begging for interviews. I'd give them one a day but the guys don't like me doing interviews. They say I sound like I'm on drugs. So I just keep quiet.

I contemplated going down to the Cathouse, it had been so long since I'd been there. Plus my new fame guaranteed me to get laid. I miss these California girls with their fake tits and sun exposed skin. Not that I haven't enjoyed a taste of girls all over this country. The northern girls were really great in bed. The east coast girls were all into foreplay. Those southern girls are total freaks, usually down with the get down. But nothing could compare to the beauty of these California girls.

I'm planning my night right about the time a single knock comes to my door. I bound over to it and just open up. I see Nikki standing there. My stomach drops and I wondered if it was my turn now. But Nikki didn't look so good. He was as white as a nut houses walls. His lips were shades of blue and purple. And before I can say anything he mutters one word, "Izzy," and just falls face first, half in my room, half in the hall. I roll him over and notice he's not breathing. Shit!

I leap over him and pound on Slash's door. "Slash! Slash open up! It's Stevie man!!"

Eventually Slash answers. He's nicely sedated and swaying in a breeze that didn't exist. From the bottle of Jack in his hand I'll assume he's a bit drunk too. "What man?" He shrugs.

"It...it's..." I can't find any fucking words so I just point to Nikki on his back in my doorway. "He's not breathing! " I managed to blurt.

Slash looks around me, "Is that fucking Nikki?" He asks.

"Yeah, I think he's overdosing or something! He knocked once on my door and when I answered he fell face first! We gotta do something!" I say frantically.

"Whys he coming to see you? Did you fucking invite him?!!" Slash sounds pissed off.

"No I didn't fucking call him he just showed up! I don't know where the fuck he came from!" I shout at him.

"Push him out of the way, shut your door, go to bed and leave him to the next guy," Slash carelessly shrugs and takes a drink.

"We can't just let him die!"

"You think he'd save you if you were in his shoes?" He asks me.

I just stare at him. "Look I understand that after what he did to you you'd be a little reluctant to help him...but if you don't cops will be down here knocking door to door and you know it!"

"Well I didn't do it to him! And he knocked on your door, not mine! What the fucks wrong with you? Don't you ask who the fuck it is before you answer your door?"

"What the fucks wrong with you?! This dude is dying man!" I point emphatically at Nikki.

"Fuck him!" He shouts.

"Come on man I know he hurt us all but we can't just let him die! If we do we're no better than him!"

Slash rolls his eyes at me and sighs, "I swear to god Stevie, if this son of a bitch comes for us again I'm holding you responsible for saving him." He sits his bottle down and steps across the hall. He bends down to Nikki who is starting to look a lot like Violet from Willy Wonka. Slash sticks his head to Nikki's chest and listens. He quickly jumps up and grabs his arm. "Help me," he looks up at me.

Together we pull him into my room. We both look up at each other, "Shower," we say in unison. I continue trying to drag Nikki while Slash rushes into the bathroom and cuts on the water. He returns to help me drag him. We somehow manage to get him in the tiny bathroom with both of us. We have to sit him up and basically fall backwards with him to get him in the tub. Slash and I get soaked in the process. If we were fucked up before, we're sober now. I hoist Nikki's legs into the tub as Slash tries to move him from vertical to horizontal. Nikki might be skin and bones but he's big and his bones are heavy.

"Nothing's happening," I shake my head.

Slash rares back and slaps the dog shit out of Nikki. I assume there was a lot of anger in that slap. Why wouldn't there be?? But it doesn't even make Nikki's eyelashes flutter. Slash looks up at me starting to panic a bit. He shoves his finger down Nikki's throat. Nothing. He slams his fist down on Nikki's chest and puts his ear to it. "I can't hear for the water!"

"Well is he breathing?!" I ask

Slash and I both sit very still and look for a rise or a fall in Nikki's chest. Nothing. Nikki's lips have turned the color of a bruise. All of his skin seemed to be trying. "Stevie... I think we should call 911. He's gonna die if we don't." He gets up and rushes to the phone to place the call.

I open up Nikki's mouth and press mine to his and blow hard. I then start trying to do chest compressions. Guys, I'm not trained to do this shit. All I know about CPR is what you see on TV. I'm definitely having one of those 'do not try this at home' moments. But I'd rather try and fail than not try at all. So I just do what makes sense, but while it seems rational, Nikki's body doesn't seem to agree. Slash returns and slaps Nikki and yells his name. Nothing.

We're both exhausted from wailing on Nikki's chest. We're soaking wet. We're scared.But neither of us stop until paramedics are pounding on the door. Slash and I look up at each other. Shit! The dope! Slash rushes to the door and I rush to my drugs. I get them shoved into the air vent just as Slash opens up the door and leads them to Nikki. A cop walks in and starts to question me.

I can't pay much attention to his questions though. I'm busy watching the professionals take over with Nikki. They strap oxygen to his face. They listen to his heart and immediately start in on CPR. The other listens to his heart. "I'm not getting a heartbeat!" The paramedic shouts and immediately brings his arm down hard across Nikki's chest. He listens again. He looks at the other paramedic and shakes his head, "He's gone."

Slash and I just look at each other. Fuck, are we gonna get the blame for this? Right about now I'm starting to get Slash's point of leaving him out in the hall for someone else to find. The cop in my face starts asking even more fucking questions, 'do I know this guy, what's his name, what did he take, where are the drugs?'. But I don't tell him shit except that the dead guy they're loading on a gurney is Nikki Sixx.

Then I watch something that just makes my world stop. I feel like a scared kid. Everything around me just slows down. It's like a slow motion replay they show you on TV. I'm faced with probably the single most impactive moment of my life. The paramedic flings out a sheet. The air unfolds it and makes it float about like a paper airplane gliding. And it slips down and rests over Nikki. This is death. I was with that guy when he died. I watched the life leave him. Out. Up. All around.

I can see Slash wrap his arms around himself. He just stands there looking down at Nikki covered by a sheet. It's fucking weird, this guy used to be our friend. Man nobody was more fun than Nikki. You knew no matter what something was going down. And Nikki helped us. He got us in with Geffen. That seems to have stopped the perverts from chasing after us. But on the flip side, he didn't do it for us, we just benefitted. He did everything just to get Izzy where he wanted him. Nikki's responsible for me almost dying from snorting bathroom cleaner. He's why Duff's married to a chick he could care less about. He raped Axl and Slash. He did horrible things to Izzy. Do I mourn the loss of a friend or rejoice the death of an enemy? I'm truly torn.