FicWad

Izzy

Christmas morning has finally arrived and brought with it the smell of french toast...must be Erin cooking. Axl’s awake and standing in the bathroom brushing his teeth. I get up and walk over to where he’s standing, wrap my arms around his waist, and kiss his shoulder. “Merry Christmas Fireball,” I drawl.

His eyes light up but his mouth is full of toothpaste. Once he’s rinsed his mouth out he turns around and says “Merry Christmas Angel,” and leans up to kiss my lips.

“Is Erin cooking?” I ask.

“Smells like it,” he replies. I brush my own teeth and throw on a shirt and Axl and I go downstairs to investigate the heavenly smells coming from downstairs. We find Erin in the kitchen with a stack of french toast on a big plate and a couple more pieces sizzling in the pan.

“Good morning guys! Merry Christmas!” she greets us.

“Mornin sugar,” I say leaning up against the counter and pulling Axl into my arms.

Thanks for breakfast, that was nice of you,” I tell her.

“You’re welcome! I thought it would be nice to eat together before we open our gifts,” she says.

“Yeah, that sounds good, thanks darlin,” Axl drawls.

“It’s almost ready if you guys want to get the plates and silverware out of the cabinets,” she tells us.

Axl and I grab three plates and three sets of silverware and sit them on the counter. I pour each of us a cup of coffee from the full pot Erin made and carry them to the little breakfast nook in the kitchen. It’s the perfect size for the three of us and has a bench seat that goes all the way around it. It’s really cool and much more comfortable than the hard chairs in the dining room. We’ve only eaten in there once when we had the guys over for dinner. We all sit down and eat and the conversation stays pleasant through the whole meal. Axl looks content and happy and I hope that means that Billy won’t make an appearance in the mirror today; maybe he’ll let Axl celebrate Christmas in peace. The topic of conversation drifts to what we’re doing later today and gifts and I hear Erin say “Well, we have to be at Slash’s mom’s house at 2:00 so we have all morning to just be lazy and open gifts.”

“Speaking of gifts I think Santa left something in the den upstairs,” I say to Axl. “You might want to go up there and look, it had your name on it and 3 or 4 reindeer almost died hauling it up there!”

“Did they die of natural causes or could you just not resist the urge to practice your aim with that new fucking gun you brought home a couple days ago?” he teases.

“I don’t shoot reindeer, you go to hell for shooting fucking magical animals like reindeer and unicorns and shit, don’t you know that?” I joke back.

“When has the fear of going to hell ever stopped you?” Axl laughs.

“Fortunately for you never! According to that bastard your step dad we’re both going to hell, but I disagree. I’m not sending myself there by killing any reindeer though, if I’m gonna go there it’ll be for a good reason! Seriously though, upstairs, right after breakfast ok?”

“Anything you say darlin, I happen to know that some elves were here late last night and they spent a lot of time fooling around in the guest room, we should probably check it out too,” Axl says with his eyes sparkling.

“Sounds like there were quite a few strange things going on here last night then!” Erin giggles. “I’m sorry I slept through it all.”

“Yeah, they left something for you under the tree, might be a lump of coal though, you’ve been a naughty girl,” I joke.

“I’m only naughty when you two want me to be!” Erin pretends to pout. She turns off the stove and brings the plate of french toast over to the table. I watch Axl pour cream and a ton of sugar into his coffee and then cover his french toast in syrup, he’s going to be on quite the sugar high this morning! We eat quickly, all of us anxious to get to the presents that are waiting.

As soon as we finish the last bite I grab Axl’s hand and pull him through the kitchen and upstairs. “Anxious much Angel?” Axl asks, laughing quietly.

“I just want to see you smile darlin, those pretty green eyes don’t smile enough lately.

“Well I hope to be smiling a lot more now that Nikki’s gone and you’re here with me,” he replies.

“I hope I can make you smile Ax. Now come on, open the door!” I urge him. He does and I watch shock followed by elation on his face. He practically runs across the room and sits down on the bench in front of the new baby grand piano I bought him for Christmas.

His fingers run across the keys and he turns and looks at me. “Izzy, I, oh, it’s beautiful Angel! Thank you! I love it! I’ve never gotten such a wonderful present! I can’t believe after all the crap I’ve done to you this year you would get me such a wonderful gift!” He turns to me and pulls me into his arms. “Thank you baby, I love it, but I love you more.”

“You’re welcome Fireball. I love you and it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, I love you anyway. Besides, I’ve done my fair share of shit this year too. I wanted to make you happy,” I tell him.

“You didn’t have to buy me a piano to do that but I’m glad you did!” he says and leans up to kiss me. I snake my arm around his waist and pull him close and cup his face with my free hand. His kiss is deep and hard, but not sexual. The red scruff of beard he’s let grow out over the past few days scratches my chin and lips, I like it. He pulls back after a minute and sits down at the keyboard. “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” flows out of the piano and he grins at the sound. “It sounds amazing! I love it Izzy!” he tells me again. Then he jumps up and grabs my hand and starts pulling me out of the room. “Come on, I want you to see your present!”

He pulls me down the hall to the guest room and throws open the door. Beside the bed are two brand new Gibsons identical to my two favorites that Nikki destroyed. One a white hollow body and one a black and gold solid body style. “Ax, they’re beautiful! I love them!” I tell him as I pick up the white one, testing it’s weight and strumming it. I put it back in the stand and pick up the black one doing the same thing. I sit it back down and grab Axl kissing him and then grinning like an idiot I spin him around. I’m happy, for once I’m happy! This is the best Christmas I’ve had in years! “I love you Fireball, Merry Christmas darlin!” I tell him.

“Merry Christmas Angel. It’s the best Christmas I can remember for a long time too,” he says quietly and kisses me.

I see movement out of the corner of my eye and remember Erin’s there. I pull back a little. “We should give Erin her gift Ax,” I remind him. He nods. “Hey sugar, your gift is under the tree, what do you say we go take a look at it?” She nods eagerly. Axl and I walk with her to the living room and pull a large box out from under the tree. She tears the paper off carefully and opens the box to find a long, black, fur coat.

“Oh! It’s beautiful!” she breathes.

“Try it on,” Axl suggests. She nods and he lifts the coat out of the box and holds it up and she slips into it. It’s a perfect fit.

“I love it, thank you both!” she says excitedly.

“You’re welcome sugar,” I reply.

“Glad you like it,” Axl says. After we open a few more small gifts each Axl and I head off to our bedroom for a shower. We climb into the hot water and I watch Axl tip his head back into the spray. He groans in pleasure and I decide that I want to hear him groan like that for me.

I pull him close to me with my chest pressed against his back. “I like hearing you groan like that, want to fool around? See if I can make you groan that way for me?”

“Mmm, I’m game,” Axl says huskily. I spin him around and bring his lips to mine. I nudge his lips with my tongue and he readily opens his mouth. I dip my tongue in and explore and his tongue fights with mine for dominance but I won’t let him win. I back him up against the shower wall and grind into him. He moans and stiffens up immediately.

“See, you’re already moaning for me,” I whisper and then capture his lips again. I reach down between us and wrap my hand around Axl’s hard cock, stroking him slowly. This draws more moans out of his mouth. “Turn around and spread for me,” I growl. He growls back and quickly does what I tell him. I move close to him and rub my dick against his pretty little ass. I look around the shower and grab a bottle of conditioner off of one of the shelves. I squirt some on my fingers and then run my fingers over Axl’s opening before gently slipping one finger inside of him. He sucks in his breath. “You ok Fireball? Am I hurting you?” I ask him anxiously.

“No, it doesn’t hurt Izz, don’t stop baby,” he hisses. I start slowly sliding my finger in and out of him and bring my lips to the base of his throat and gently suck and nip at the skin there. Axl groans quietly and I gently add a second finger and begin to stretch him out and open him up to me. When I crook my fingers and run them over his prostate he makes a high pitched whimpering sound, yeah, he’s putty in my hands. I remove my fingers and slide my cock into him and he groans long and deep, so fucking sexy.

“Shit, baby you feel good!” I groan as I slowly slide in and out of him.
“Mmm, so do you,” he hoarsely whispers back.
I fuck him slowly, using his shoulders for leverage and within minutes he’s whimpering and cursing, ready to blow his load. “Baby, you’re gripping my dick so tight, let go darlin, let me feel you cum on it,” I growl in his ear.


“Oh fuck Izzy!” he pants and I feel the contractions starting deep inside of him and he clamps down hard on my cock.

“Oh Axl, goddamnit!” I growl and explode inside of him, filling him up with what feels like an endless load. I don’t think I’ve cum that hard since...no I’m not even going to think it because it doesn’t matter. I’m here with my Fireball and I’m happy. Our frantic pants turn into quiet, satisfied moans and soft kisses. I pull out of him and turn him around and pull him close to me, never taking my lips away from his. “I love you Axl,” I sigh.

“I love you too my Dark Angel,” he replies. “Merry Christmas baby.”

“Mmm, best present I could get today,” I tell him. “Merry Christmas Fireball.” It is, by far, my favorite moment of the day; just the two of us, happy, in love, and for once connected.

We get out of the shower and get dressed and we each spend some time playing with our new instruments and then get ready and head over to Slash’s mom’s for Christmas dinner. She greets us warmly when we arrive and we find Duff and Slash carrying food to the table. When they sit down they’re not exactly all over each other but they don’t stop touching and they keep exchanging little kisses. I look at Axl who rolls his eyes. “Looks like somebody’s getting laid again,” he mutters and nods in their direction. Duff hears him and just laughs, confirming our suspicions. Uh huh, that condo Duff rented the two of them is going to see some action tonight.

Christmas dinner is wonderful between Slash’s grandma’s stuffing and Duff’s sweet potatoes I’m stuffed so full that it’s all I can do to get up and waddle into the living room. We watch a Christmas movie on the new VCR that Slash bought his mom and just hang out and visit. At one point Duff and I run into each other in the hallway when he’s coming out of the bathroom and I’m waiting to go in. We haven’t really talked since he told me he was sorry for blaming me for what happened to Slash which I think he both meant and didn’t. He loves Slash and he wants to save him from all possible pain; I might have stopped Nikki from raping Slash for even longer than he did but I could have stopped it sooner if I had been able to work up the guts. My cowardice just prolonged the kid’s agony. He’s still friendly to me but reserved. “Hey man, how are things with you and Axl since you moved in together? You look happy,” he says earnestly.

“We are happy I think, he’s calm for now. He’s having some issues related to Nikki but he’s ok” I tell him. “How’s Slash doing?”


“He’s getting better. I was so afraid he’d just shut down and implode, fade away into smack you know? Especially when he stopped talking but he didn’t and he’s getting better. Like you and Axl noticed we’re having sex again and he had a little freak out but nothing major and I got him through it.. After that he enjoyed himself like always, multiple times, we did it last night and this morning and he’s fine, better than fine, he came so hard he practically squeezed my dick off! But he still wakes up every night crying and screaming for those two mother fuckers to stop hurting him and I can’t protect him from his dreams any more than I could protect him from those two sick fucks and it breaks my heart!”

“I know, it's hard when Axl dreams about that shit too, I can't save him from whatever’s happening in his head which usually means I couldn't save him from something in real life which makes me feel like shit because I've been trying to save him from predators since we were teenagers! I couldn't save him from his stepdad and I couldn't save him from Hollywood filth and I couldn't save him from Nikki. I know how you feel man, useless and fucking helpless to do anything but try and comfort them. Shit with Axl I can’t even touch him right away so I can’t hold him or kiss him or anything until I’ve talked him down first or I’ll get punched! I wish I could hold him and love on him and settle him down. I love Axl so much but he’s complicated. I envy you sometimes in that Slash is so straightforward and sweet and easy to love; Axl’s holding in a lot of shame so what you see isn’t always what you get in terms of his feelings. A lot of times if he’s feeling sad and ashamed he turns it into anger and I might be able to tease it out of him and help him deal with what he’s really feeling or he might just stay mad and snap at everything I say. Slash hasn’t been through so much crap so he’s still pretty wide open. I’m not trying to say I wish I was with Slash I’m just saying I wish Axl was easier to deal with.”

“Yeah Izz, I know,” he reassures me. “I am really lucky to have him, believe me I know. I love him so fucking much and what happened to him, it fucking kills me to think about it,” Duff says and his voice cracks; little tears start to stream down his face. “I keep remembering little snippets of it, you know? Like the empty grunts he would let out during the last couple of hours when they would hurt him, and the surprised look on his face when Tommy spewed right in his face and wouldn’t let him clean it off, like he couldn’t believe somebody would really do something like that to him, that awful high pitched shriek he let out when Tommy shoved his dick in him, all the fucking blood running down his legs fucking scared the shit out of me Izzy! I was afraid he was hurt worse than he was, I just kept thinking about what Tommy did to you and I was afraid he was going to hurt Slash that way!”

“Yeah, I keep seeing them jamming that bottle into him and how he screamed, I fucking dream about it! I was afraid they were literally going to fuck him until he passed out they kept it up for so long, or break his teeth; Nikki kept saying he was pretty like a bitch, I was afraid he was going to do something to make that not true. I wanted to say something sooner, but I kept remembering how bad it hurt when Tommy was fucking into my guts and I couldn’t say anything, it literally wouldn’t come out of my mouth and I was so afraid I was going to hear that broken howl come out of him that meant Tommy had damaged something inside of him and he was going to start bleeding out in front of us. It killed me that he cried for us too and we couldn’t do shit to help him. He caught my eye once after his face was smeared with blood and cum and tears and he looked so humiliated and then he just looked away. I’m sorry I didn’t get him out of there sooner Duff I really am!” I blurt out, my own voice cracking.
“Izzy, we both know you were scared and we don’t hold it against you, we’re just grateful you got him out of there and we’re sorry that you had to give yourself up to Nikki to do it. I shouldn’t have blamed you and I’m sorry. It’s been hard for me to get over you taking him from me but I shouldn’t have blamed you for what Nikki and Tommy did to him. I wanted to ask you something though,” he says softly.

“What?” I ask warily.

“You’ve been through this with Axl a few times, does it get any easier? Like for either of us? How long do the nightmares last? Am I ever going to forget any of it? He wakes up so scared Izzy! He’s so afraid that he can’t talk, sometimes he can’t even really move right away, he just breathes really fast and shakes! A lot of the time he’ll hide his face in my neck or my shoulder and he won’t look at me for the longest time and he grabs my fucking shirt and hangs on for dear life! I just try and hold him as tightly as I can and rub his hair and back and tell him that he’s safe and I love him no matter what. Is there something else I should do for him, I mean I don’t know what but like is there something else I should say to him? I just want him to be ok Izzy!” Duff cries.

I pull Duff back into the bathroom to talk to him so that Slash’s family doesn’t overhear; he had told us all that he didn’t want his family to know what happened. Duff wipes his face but he looks so forlorn that I pull him into a hug. He hugs me back for a few seconds and then pulls himself back together. Poor guy, he really does love Slash more than anything in the world and just wants for him to be happy. I know he’s beating himself up too about leaving Slash alone and going to the bar that night. Nikki took advantage of the one time that Duff left the room to snatch Slash up and drug Duff and I. “Hey man, first of all, I know you’re beating yourself up inside for leaving the kid alone and going to the bar. What happened isn’t your fault, it’s Nikki’s. Secondly, you’re doing an amazing job with him. He knows how much you love him and that you don’t think anything less of him because of what happened. The fact that you two have already had sex just a little over a month after it happened means he feels safe and wanted and loved. Him letting you top is just fucking unbelievable; after what happened to him I’m totally amazed that he’s let you touch him at all, much less make love to him. Axl wouldn’t let me near him for three months the first time, it was almost two months after what happened with Nikki before we slept together and he had to top, he wouldn’t bottom until just recently. That’s probably TMI but I’m just trying to make you understand how very much Slash must love and trust you for him to be able to give himself to you that way. You’re doing everything right Duff: you’re telling him he’s safe when he wakes up and that you’re there for him and that you love him, the only other thing I would add is that you know that what happened to him isn’t his fault. Axl’s quick to blame himself even though he didn’t make Nikki do what he did or anyone else who’s hurt him and neither did poor Slash. Just tell him that when you’re soothing him, it’s not his fault and nobody blames him, least if all you. The other thing that you’re doing right is holding him tight when he wakes up. Axl’s doctor’s told me years ago that when I can finally hold him to hold him as tightly as he wanted to be held, that it made him more secure, something about being the same as a baby who needed swaddled to feel secure and safe. So hold him tight Duff, he needs to feel that love and security even though I’m fairly sure he feels it every day already. Like I said, Axl and I have talked about it and you’ve done a great job taking care of him. We’re proud of you, you should be proud of yourself. You’ve pulled him through something horribly difficult while going through hell about it yourself and it ain’t easy, I’ve been there, I know. You’ll both feel better, it just takes some time.”

Duff just nods and tries to pull himself back together. “Thanks Izzy, I just kinda needed to hear that,” he sighs.

“Yeah, no problem man, you ok?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says. “Do you think he’ll like the condo? I’m gonna take him over there on the way back to Franklin Plaza, we might stay there tonight, I don’t know.”

I snort. “I’m betting your’re going to have sex on every available surface and then collapse! He’s gonna love it!”

“I hope so, I spent a lot of time getting it ready that night Nikki died. I can’t believe that mother fucker managed to get in a last shot at you and Slash even if it wasn’t really his intent. I’m not sorry that motherfucker’s dead. Enough about him. It’s Christmas, I’m with people I care about, my Baby Boy is happy and smiling, and we’re moving into the first place we’ve ever lived together that doesn’t have roaches! In fact it has a jacuzzi and a balcony facing the ocean!”

“Exactly, it’s a good day and he’s going to love the condo,” I reassure Duff.

He nods and smiles. “Thanks for the talk man,” he says. “You’re the only person I could talk to that would understand.”

“Yeah no sweat,” I tell him. “Now let me take a piss already! They’re gonna think we fell in or something.” He just laughs and leaves me alone in the bathroom. When I walk back to the living room Duff has Slash cuddled up to him on the couch watching the movie with everyone else. Slash’s mom is looking at them and smiling, happy that they’re so happy together. I walk over and sit back down beside Axl and hold out my arms. He looks at me warily for a second but then scoots over and cuddles up under my arm. I kiss him on the cheek and whisper “relax, his mom isn’t going to think anything bad, she’s looking at the other two like they’re the cutest thing ever.” He rolls his eyes but relaxes. “I love you Fireball,” I whisper into his hair.

Another little smile is my reward. “I love you too Angel, Merry Christmas. Thank you for that beautiful piano.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for the guitars, they’re perfect, and exactly like the ones Nikki destroyed.

“I’m glad you like them, I asked Slash for help ordering them, guess he knew what he was talking about!”
“Yeah, he knows his guitars,” I chuckle.

“He’s gonna flip over that condo when Duff takes him there later, does he know anything yet?” Axl asks.

“I don’t think so, he knows something’s up involving them moving but no, he doesn’t know any specifics or that they’re going to go over there tonight. Duff’s really excited to take him there.”

“They look ridiculously happy again; do you think we look that happy today?” he asks.

“Yeah Ax, I think we do look as happy as them today.” It’s true too, at least for today we’re happy. I love Christmas.