FicWad

Axl

The day after Christmas we were called into the Geffen offices by Alan. He said that he had something really important to tell us, but he wants to do it in person. None of us have a clue what could be so important. If it was a band issue then management would handle it. They wouldn't need to call us into the office. So what choice do we have but to go?

Duff and Slash show up in one of their Corvette's. Who knows which is which, they're identical. The two of them are too much alike sometimes. They're living together in some Apartment in the touristy part of Hollywood. Not very bright or inconspicuous if you ask me. They didn't even bother to make it look like they had separate addresses. In fact, Duff rented the place a few days before Christmas. After we left Slash's mom's Duff surprised him with it.

Stevie shows up loaded in a taxi with Adrianna. Who knows why the fuck he let her tag along. If I were Steven I wouldn't want her within a mile of us. We'd all fucked her at one point or another. For fuck sake I fucked her in a goddamn sound booth and recorded it! Slash and Steven had run a train on her before he and Duff hooked up. Duff got a blowjob from her one night at the Cathouse. That same night Izzy fucked her so he could distract her while he robbed her. I guess they're shacking up at Franklin Plaza together.

Guess I can't say too much about shacking up. I'm living with my boyfriend and my girlfriend that I share with my boyfriend. But Izzy at least has the decency to have it in writing that he lives in West Hollywood a few blocks from Erin and I. Izzy and I take a limo because there was no way in hell I was riding on the back of Izzy's death trap. Izzy of course hates to ride in limos. He's not really buying into all this fame bullshit. I think he's just been through too much to get this fame. It's tainted for him now. It damn sure wasn't worth the price we paid to get it.

We all show up to Alan's office and sit at the conference table in it. God I hate fucking conference tables. I know that Izzy does too. I feel his fingers sliding into mine under the table. He looks at me intently as he squeezes my hand a bit. "You're safe darlin. Breathe."

I nod at him and take a deep breath just as Alan walks in.

He sighs and runs his hand over his face. "I'm sorry to call you guys down here on such short notice."

"Why have you?" Izzy asks looking at him and furrowing his brows.

"Well...it's about Nikki," he sighs.

"Yeah Alan, we know," Slash nods, "Stevie and I were there."

"Yes, I know, but Nikki's not dead," he rests his weight on the table.

"Oh yes he is, me and Slash both had our heads to his chest. He was dead," Steven says.

"The paramedic covered him with a sheet and said he was gone," Slash says sitting up straighter.

"He was dead. When they wheeled him out of Franklin Plaza he had no heartbeat. He was dead. But when they were on the way to the hospital they somehow managed to revive him," Alan says uneasily.

"They revived him? How the fuck could they do that the guy was fucking dead!" Slash shouts. Duff rubs his back trying to calm him down and whispers something to him that none of the rest of us can hear.

"Two shots of adrenaline directly into his heart," Alan tells us.

I can't help but notice Izzy's eyes fall to the table. How the fuck did that son of a bitch live through that? Izzy looks at me and I look at him and we hold an entire conversation without a single word. We were so fucking relieved when Slash and Steven told us the fucker was dead. I felt like he got what was coming to him after everything he had done to us. I don't even know which of us got the worst of him. He kidnapped Izzy. He beat him. He let Tommy fucking rape him in the most brutal kind of way. He blackmailed Duff into a sham marriage. He forced Duff and Izzy both to watch him and Tommy all out rape Slash over and over for hours. He almost killed Stevie with Comet. He beat the shit out of Erin. And what he did to me, beyond the physical rape and his name I have to look at daily, he fucked my head up. He made me believe that Izzy didn't love me. He told me in great detail everything he did just to split me and Izzy up so he could have Izzy. And to keep us all safe and to stop anyone from being hurt more, Izzy fucked him.

"No...no your mistaken," Slash shakes his head, "I watched him die. This is some stunt the rest of his band is doing to stall or something," he babbles, his voice rising in pitch.

"The doctor called Electra. Doc said Nikki ripped out the IV's and walked out of the hospital wearing nothing but leather pants. I called his house. He didn't answer but he had changed his message on his machine. He said, 'Hey, it's Nikki. I'm not able to come to the phone cuz I'm dead'." He pauses and looks at each one of us. "I know that you all have...history with Nikki..."

"History?!" I yell cutting him off. I rip off my shirt and everybody stares at my chest. The red scars still plainly say Nikki. Izzy has to look away. I think seeing that scar hurts him more than it does me. I was Nikki's first rape. He marked his territory. I wish he would have just pissed on me like a fucking dog. "You call this fucking history?! You call raping me and Slash history?! You call Izzy and Steven almost dying history?! You call him beating Erin and using her history?! You call Duff's cunt wife history?!"

Izzy stands up and pushes me back down in my chair. "It's ok Fireball," he says in that perfectly calm drawl of his, "I'll be sure to give him a double tap right between his eyes. I would have killed him before if Steven didn't fuck up my aim. He might have nine lives like a fucking cat, but I got a bullet for every one of those motherfuckers."

"You can't kill him Izzy," Alan sighs.

"Oh but it's ok that he almost killed Izzy!" I scream. "It's ok that he let Tommy rip through his insides and left him to bleed out, that's ok?"

"Izzy," Alan holds his hand out to Izzy, "I'm gonna have to take your gun."

Izzy raises his shirt up just enough to show his gun. "Come get it if you think your man enough."

"Izzy I'm trying to help you. I don't want you throwing away your entire life for him," Alan is using every skill of persuasion that he can think of to chill Izzy out. It's not easy to do once Izzy actually gets pissed. I mean nobody knows that better than me.

"You ain't getting my fucking gun Alan. Nobody touches my gun. What kind of idiot would I be to relinquish my only protection from a total psycho stalker? You think a little set back like dying for a few minutes is enough to stop him? Fuck no, it's business as fucking usual for him," Izzy shakes his head and rests his hands on his hips.

"Angel, you ain't thinking clearly right now," I say lowering his shirt back down over his gun. He looks into my eyes and knows everything that there is for me to say. "Just let it go. Nothing anybody says or does can change a thing that's happened."

"Don't give him the satisfaction Izzy," Slash says, "That's what he wants. He wants your attention and if he's going down he wants to take you with him"

"Yeah Izz," Duff nods, "Just let it go. One day his nine lives will run out."

Izzy rolls his eyes. "I'm not listening to this shit," he shakes his head and starts for the door. Steven tries to stop him but I tell him to let him go. Izzy needed to be alone to process this unfortunate news. I knew he wouldn't do anything stupid. He'd come home when he cooled down.

"Axl, you're the only one who can get him to come back," Alan says to me.

"He just needs to blow off some steam. Nikki has done everything he can to hurt Izzy and twist his head. Izzy's not gonna do something stupid. Just let him go. He'll come home when he calms down. You should worry more about me doing something stupid. I don't need a gun to kill that fuck. I'll use a knife and see if I can carve my name in his chest." I think I've gone beyond seeing red, now everything just seems black.

"Doc put restraining orders on you guys. If you get within five hundred feet of Nikki you get arrested," Alan says clearly unhappy about breaking the news to us.

"Are you fucking kidding?!" Duff shouts, "We are the ones that should have a goddamn restraining order against him! He had better stay further than 500 feet away because I swear to God if I catch sight of him or Tommy at all I'll fucking kill them with my bare hands!" I can tell Duff's not kidding either, he'd gladly off the two of them for destroying all that was innocent in his beloved Slash.

"I know it's all fucked up but our hands are tied. David Geffen hired a lawyer and everything. Legally all you can do is wait 61 days. That's how long the restraining order is in effect."

"I can not fucking believe that I helped save his fucking life!" Slash pounds the table. Whoah, so the baby is finally getting angry, good for him!

"It's my fault," Steven slurs, "I made you do it. I should have listened to you and left his ass laying in the hallway."

"No Steven, that just shows that you're better than Nikki any day of the week," I say, "Do you think he would have lifted a finger to help anyone of us?! No he would have left us to fucking rot!"

"He woulda helped Izzy," Slash says softly, "Izzy's the reason he did all of it! He's the reason for all of it Axl."

I point my finger at him, "Don't you dare blame Izzy you little shit! Don't you know what Izzy did in that goddamn room after Duff and you left?! You think he enjoyed that?! Fuck you you prissy little bitch! Izzy has always looked out for you! I didn't hear you blaming him when you were fucking him while Duff was in Vegas!"

Oh shit, big mistake. Duff flies out of his chair and jerks me up by the collar of my shirt and puts his face right in mine. "Number 1, don't talk to him like that. He knows exactly what Izzy had to do and we hate that he had to do it but we're grateul. Number 2, Axe, he didn't mean it to sound like he was blaming Izzy," Duff says defending Slash. "He's just saying that Izzy's safer than any of us are. We don't need to worry about Izzy, we have to watch our backs. I know Izzy assumes that role, but we gotta lighten his load. He's dealing with a lot of shit now that Nikki isn't dead and I fully expect you to be there for him!" he growls and then lets me go.

I slump back down in my chair but by this point I am so done with staring at this goddamn conference table. Every time I see on all I can think about is watching Izzy get fucked while somebody fucks me too. All we could do was watch it happen. All we could do was reach out to each other. But our fingers barely brushed one another. I shove my chair out and walk out the door.

At the end of the hall I see Izzy leaned into the wall, staring up at the ceiling and smoking a cigarette. He sees me and hangs his head. "Axe...darlin... I know you're not gonna like this...but I gotta go see him. This shit has to end. I've gotta go tell him that he has to stop this fucked up obsession with me."

"No, I don't like that idea at all. My opinion aside, you can't. Doc put restraining orders on all of us. If we go 500 feet near him they can attest us."

Izzy just smirks, "You think I'm scared to go to jail? I've been before, remember? A stupid piece of paper can't stop me. I'm done Fireball. I'm fucking done. I just want to not have to always look over my shoulder. I want this shitbto be over. I know that if I just stop this shit you'll get better. I love you darlin and there's nothing I won't do for you."

"Izzy, don't put that weight on me. I need you here with me. Please don't go see him. I'm begging you Angel. Please don't go."

"I have to Axe," he says softly, "This all started because of me. I'm the only one who can end it. I'll be ok!" He pulls me into him and I just start crying. I know he's right, but I can't help but worry about him going to see that psycho alone. But Izzy's made his mind up. When he does that nothing can change his mind.