FicWad

Duff

The day before New Year’s Eve there was a knock on mine and Slash's door. We both look at one another thinking it's fans or groupies. Since we got home they just crawl out of the woodwork. Anyone else would have called us first. Slash always answers, gives an autograph and sends them on their way, he’s sweet about it. I usually ask who it is. If it's no one special I just ignore them until they go away. This is such a regular occurrence that we take turns dealing with the knocks.

I look at Slash, "Your turn babe."

Slash sighs and gets up. At first all the fan fair was kinda cool, but after a week it started getting old. I thought when we moved here the door man would keep it from happening. Slash doesn't even bother looking out the peep hole. He just unlocks the door and opens it wide. From the couch I can clearly see who it is. Slash quickly tries to shut the door.

It's Nikki. He's not all dolled up as normal though so I almost didn't recognize him. "No wait, please, I'm not here to cause problems," he says as he pushes out the opposite side of the door. His foot keeps it wedged open. I rush to the door and push with Slash. But Nikki's fucking foot is preventing us from closing the damn thing. "Look I came to give you something! Just let me in. No tricks, I swear it."

"Like we're taking your word for anything!" I shout at him and push his head out of the door.

"I came alone! I don't have a gun. I'm know you don't want to see me, but it's important. Just let me in, please," Nikki says. When my eyes meet with his I get a chill. Not because he's scaring me, but because I can tell he's serious and that is like the biggest chunk of irony to imagine swallowing. Nikki was definitely not trustworthy. Yet, he seems so sincere. I look at Slash's wide eyes and he's shaking his head no. Poor baby, it’s like his nightares come true, Nikki showing up at our door, holding it open with his foot, only I”m here and I’m not letting that psycho hurt my Baby Boy.

"No fucking way," I shake my head at Nikki.

"Please, I think you're both going to want to hear what I have to say," he persists.

"Five fucking minutes," I growl and step back. I tug Slash back as well. Slash is protesting and scared but something in me wanted to hear this.

"Five minutes," Nikki nods with a sigh, "I'll just say what I need and go. Honestly, I mean no harm."

"Oh I'm so sure," Slash huffs. I'm behind him with my protective arms around him in two seconds. I can feel his feel his heart pounding a million miles an hour so I squeeze him to me and soothingly rub his arm.

"You're not welcome here so hurry up!" I growl at Nikki.

Nikki looks down nodding, "Yeah,. I know. Just give me a few minutes of your time. I'm alone. No tricks up my sleeves. I came to say a few things and I have something for the both of you," he says hesitantly as he steps inside the apartment.

"Nothing you could say matters and we don't want shit from you," I snap.

"Granted...just...please."

We look at one another. You can never tell when Sixx is sincere or not. But something about the look on his face makes us curious. "Five fucking minutes," Slash says backing as closely to me as possible.

So we let Nikki in. He's carrying a big shopping bag and an office sized Manila folder. Slash and I sit on the couch and he clings to my shirt. I can feel him quivering in my arms. He's so scared. Maybe I should just beat the fuck out of Nikki and be done with all of this bullshit. I hated that he had the power to fill my sweet love with this much fear. Nikki just stands in front of the TV avoiding eye contact. I've never seen him in such a somber mood before. He actually looks human.

"I uh... I want to thank you Slash for saving my life," he utters without making eye contact.

"Well you should have thanked Stevie, I was gonna leave your ass in the hallway," Slash snaps. And I feel him scoot into my arms even further.

"At the hospital they told me that if you and Steven wouldn't have done CPR until the ambulance came that I would have been brain dead by the time the paramedics got there." Nikki pauses. "You could have just let me die but you're a better man than me. I'd be dead if it wasn't for you and I'm thankful for you trying. I know I've hurt you in the worst kind of way Slash. And I know my sorry holds no weight with either of you. And I don't blame you at all. What I did is unforgivable. But dying changes a person. I’m truly sorry. I wanted to give you this," Nikki says reaching into the shopping bag. He pulls out a top hat. "I got this in Japan. I figured you could use a backup." He sits it on top of the TV and bends down and reaches back into the bag. He pulls out a fringed leather jacket. "You always loved this jacket and I want you to have it." When Nikki tries to give them to Slash he just recoils and practically crawls into my lap and I wrap my arms tightly around him. He’s shaking and breathing hard. That’s enough, Nikki needs to go, my baby doesn’t need this in our own home.

"Nikki a hat and a jacket can't buy forgiveness," I say.

"I'm not trying to buy your forgiveness Duff. I'm just trying to set things right for a change. I'm ashamed of the things I did to all of you. I swear I'll never cause any of you pain again." And Nikki's tone seems changed. He's behaving strangely and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. So I act hard.

"Well excuse us if we don't buy your bullshit apologies," I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, I know," he nods, "but I still plan to make amends for what I've put you guys through." He extends out the manilla folder to me. "This is for you," he says.

I jerk it out of his hand and don't even bother opening it.

"You really should open it. I think it's something you're going to want," he looks at me.

I sigh and undo the brads. I reach inside and pull out its contents. It's pictures. My brows furrow slightly as I notice that they're of Mandy. She's with a guy and they're kissing. I thumb through about a dozen of them. All of them show her quite cozy with whoever this guy is. What was this? Why was I supposed to be happy to see this?

"What is this?" I shrug at Nikki.

"I always protect my interests. I've had Mandy watched since she married you. I was hanging on to this in case I needed to blackmail her for something. But...the right thing to do is give it to you," he tells me.

Why would he do this? Why would he come here? Why apologize? Why give me these pictures? It's gotta be part of some scam he's working on to bring us misery. "Why?" I ask.

"This is your grounds for divorce Duff. My way of saying I'm sorry and trying to fix the problem I created for you," he says softly and looks down. He seems to be struggling to maintain eye contact. That's not usually anything he has trouble with. The guy could look you dead in the eye and lie.

I'm fucking speechless. I honestly don't know what to say. I know I should be thankful and say thank-you to him, but I just can't. Mainly because I don't trust him. I'd be a fool to even try. Yet, there's just something in his outward presence that just doesn't seem like Nikki. Maybe he's telling us the truth.

"Anyway, I know that this doesn't fix what I've done, but it's a start to trying to set it right. Anyway, I'll be going. I know it doesn't matter and it's far too late for an I'm sorry, but I truly am. I'll never forget what you did for me Slash. Thank-you," he all but whispers then he turns for the door and leaves. He just leaves. No taunts. No threats. Did aliens invade his body or something? Were these pictures going to detonate in my fucking hand or something?

Slash and I just look at each other: speechless. He eases his grip on me and quickly rushes to the door and locks it. He picks up the leather jacket and looks at it in his hands. Poor baby is shaking like a leaf. "Nikki was wearing this the night I met him. He looked so fucking cool, like a real rock star. I remember telling him how much I loved it." His look gets more distant and I know he's trying to figure out what I was, is Nikki for real?

I just thumb through the photos again. "I can't believe he gave me these. You think that maybe he's on the level for a change?"

"I don't know how I can ever trust him again," Slash shakes his head. I can see him trembling all over so I gather him close to me for a few seconds before he walks back to the couch.

"Me either baby boy...but at least I can divorce Mandy now," I say and glance at the pictures again.

This makes Slash smile. "I finally get you all to myself again."

"No one can ever take me away from you again Baby Boy." I stand up and cross over to him. I take him in my arms and kiss him, trying to take some of the fear away with this happy thought. I don't know if Nikki did all this with a benevolent intent or if he was just setting us up for his next stunt. I wanted to believe the sincerity on his face, but with Nikki you just never know. But he gave me these pictures. Why would he do that with ill intent?

"We're never gonna get rid of that fucking bastard," Slash says looking back to the door.

Seeing Nikki was the last thing he needed, especially here in our house like he kept dreaming about. He's rattled. And why wouldn't he be? I should have just broken Nikki's foot, pushed him out of the way, and deadbolted the door. But he seemed sincere; God I must be an idiot for thinking that. Nikki was dangerous. He couldn't be trusted. It's probably best if I take Slash and disappear for a while. I have the money to take him anywhere on the planet. So that's what I'll do, I'll take Slash away. Besides, a few days at a spa wasn't a long enough breather to get Slash over Nikk, I mean shit, we’d just come back home and that mother fucker had come here and screwed with his head! I’d thought I had him calmed down a little, now we’re just going to be right back at square one! I didn’t want our apartment to be someplace he associated with fear and the inevitable nightmares that will no doubt start again as soon as my sweet Baby Boy closes his eyes. I know he never will be over what Nikki and Tommy did, but he'd come to not dwell on it at least. Yeah, we needed a real vacation longer than the three days we just had. I’m gonna take my baby boy somewhere that he can forget about that creep that haunts our lives..or at least not dream about him every night.