Categories > Original > Romance > You've Changed
You've Changed
0 reviewsI loved her. She was my life line. Everything that made me happy in life stemmed from her. I spent all my life faking happiness but she made it real. But now, the only thing that is real is her blo...
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Chapter 1:
Breathe...
Breathe....
Breathe.....
I'm sinking in something thick and I can't breathe or see, my eyes won't open. I feel the thick substance clogging in my throat and suffocating me. I know I should try and get up but I don't even try. I feel like I have been trying to move for hours but I just got here. I suddenly feel a firm grip on my waist. I assume someone is trying to hold me down. My eyes open at the contact but I still can't see. What?
The alarm on my phone wakes me up abruptly. I turn off the alarm quickly, my brows furrowed from the noise.
"Go and shower" Jen says tiredly, hitting me on the shoulder.
"I know" I mumble. Obviously I know I should wake up. I clearly turned off the alarm, I slept in one time and she makes it her mission to ruin my five minutes of pacem. Pacem is when I lay in bed looking at the tiny sunlight peeking through the curtain and wondering if life would be easier if I dropped out of school and became a hobo. I really believe I would be happier that way.
"Salma go" Jens voice is clearer now. Ugh. No Pacem for me today I guess.
It's Thursday so it's my turn to shower first. Harry and I take turns in the shower. Most people want to get in the bathroom first, in our house, sleep is something we adore, a close second to food. We take all the time we can get in bed and a little extra is much appreciated.
I drag myself to the bathroom which is right next to my room. We don't have a hallway weirdly but this is all my mother could afford.
While I brush my teeth, I look at myself in the bathroom mirror that covers most of the wall.
I stare at my arch nemesis; my nose. It's my worst feature, its big round shape takes control over my face, I wouldn't call myself ugly, I just think my nose blocks any attractive features like my smile or dimples. I sigh and finish up brushing my teeth. I take a quick shower since I had one last night. Once I finish and wrap a towel around myself I head go into Moms room. Harry and Mom Share a room, Jen and I share one two. We don't really mind but even if we did what choice do we have?
"Wake up" I tap him lightly. I hate being beaten out of sleep like I am with Jen so I never do it to Harry.
Surprisingly, he wakes up the first time I tap him. It usually takes a little longer. Regardless, I wait till he actually gets up before I leave; he has a habit of going back to bed when I go back to my room.
When he's in the bathroom I go back to my room and get ready for school. Despite having Pacem in the morning, I actually like school, it's more of a social thing for me, and I go there because Mom makes me of course but it's bearable since I have my friends there. I figure that I'll just chat through school and luckily pass my exams and get a decent job. Hopefully it all works out for me.
Harry and I get to school early as usual. When we part ways, he goes to his friends and I go to the sixth form common room. My friends are never as early as me so I usually just use my phone till they get here. There are only a handful of people here so far.
Hey ugly! How's your sad life without me?
I smile at the text from May. I close my mouth and bite my cheek. Dammit! This has been happening for the past two months and it's been driving me crazy, I'm pretty sure my teeth are growing outwards.
"Bite your tongue?" I hear a deep voice say.
I turn around in my seat and notice its Augustus. Strange, when we were still in secondary school we never spoke and we certainly don't now.
"No, my cheek"
"Oh, I hate when that happens" Well duh.
"Yeah I do too but it keeps happening on the exact same side of my mouth right at the back" I explain.
He pauses for a few seconds, thinking I assume "You should feel around in there. Your wisdom tooth may be coming in"
"Oh thanks, I'll have to go to the dentist to get it checked out."
"No problem" He smiles at me for a while, like he was waiting for me to keep talking.
I smile back at him and turn around in my seat about to go back to text May. But wait.
This is my problem. I always complain that boys are never interested in me buy why would they be if I act like I have no interest in them?
I think for a moment and images flash before me of what could be. Augustus and I could be in a relationship. We could laugh together. We could be in love. We could get married. Okay that one is a bit farfetched but anything could happen, but it won't unless I make it.
I have to keep the conversation going. But I can't. One thing about me is that I hate rejection. I know who doesn't right? But it's my worst fear; just the thought of it makes me feel sick. That's why I usually restrain from doing things that could end with me being humiliated in any way. I have to now though, I have to be brave and just say something.
"What do you want to be?" I blurt out. Idiot.
"What?" He's confused but he's smiling, giving me some encouragement.
"In the future, what do you want to be?" My heart is racing but I'm trying so hard to stay calm.
"Oh right, uh..." He pauses. Then his eyebrows rise when he thinks of an answer.
"I want be an online gamer and get millions from siting on my ass all day but realistically I'll probably be an engineer." He smiles. He has such a cute smile. Why have I never noticed this before?
I laugh at him. "Do you like engineering?" I ask trying to bring the conversation to a point that it can flow effortlessly.
At first he just looks at me. His brows furrowed lightly. Oh God, what did I say wrong? I get nervous and look away from him.
"What?" I speak quietly.
"Nothing, no one's ever asked me that before, that's all." His eyes don't leave my face.
What? How could no one ever ask him if he liked what he was going to be in the future? I didn't really see it as a big deal. He notices the confusion on my face and changes the subject a bit.
"What do you want to be?" His voice is filled with so much energy. It's refreshing.
"Do you want the honest answer or the lie I tell my parents?" I smile playfully.
"Both"
"I honestly don't want to be anything. I can't imagine myself having a professional career. I'm not really good at anything." I would like to randomly have a billionaire idea but odds of that happening are 1 in 100000. "But I'm probably just going to be a therapist. It's the only thing I can think of that wouldn't be that bad." The words are coming out of my mouth like a waterfall and it's like I have no filter with him, the only person I told this to was May.
"I'm sure you're good at a lot of things" He says, May said the same thing but with Augustus, the way he said it was like he actually believed it. Like he believed in me, I would believe it too if I didn't know myself.
I shrug it off and continue to speak. "What do you have first?"
"Uh, Business, you?"
"Pri-" I'm cut off by Brianne calling my name. I turn around to see all my friends gathering around the table. I sigh.
"Hey guys" I smile. I look back at Augustus and give him a sad smile, which he returns.
"Sal, you should have seen what happened to me last night, my brother was out all night and I...
I try to listen to her but it's difficult when I just had the best five minutes of the year.
Breathe...
Breathe....
Breathe.....
I'm sinking in something thick and I can't breathe or see, my eyes won't open. I feel the thick substance clogging in my throat and suffocating me. I know I should try and get up but I don't even try. I feel like I have been trying to move for hours but I just got here. I suddenly feel a firm grip on my waist. I assume someone is trying to hold me down. My eyes open at the contact but I still can't see. What?
The alarm on my phone wakes me up abruptly. I turn off the alarm quickly, my brows furrowed from the noise.
"Go and shower" Jen says tiredly, hitting me on the shoulder.
"I know" I mumble. Obviously I know I should wake up. I clearly turned off the alarm, I slept in one time and she makes it her mission to ruin my five minutes of pacem. Pacem is when I lay in bed looking at the tiny sunlight peeking through the curtain and wondering if life would be easier if I dropped out of school and became a hobo. I really believe I would be happier that way.
"Salma go" Jens voice is clearer now. Ugh. No Pacem for me today I guess.
It's Thursday so it's my turn to shower first. Harry and I take turns in the shower. Most people want to get in the bathroom first, in our house, sleep is something we adore, a close second to food. We take all the time we can get in bed and a little extra is much appreciated.
I drag myself to the bathroom which is right next to my room. We don't have a hallway weirdly but this is all my mother could afford.
While I brush my teeth, I look at myself in the bathroom mirror that covers most of the wall.
I stare at my arch nemesis; my nose. It's my worst feature, its big round shape takes control over my face, I wouldn't call myself ugly, I just think my nose blocks any attractive features like my smile or dimples. I sigh and finish up brushing my teeth. I take a quick shower since I had one last night. Once I finish and wrap a towel around myself I head go into Moms room. Harry and Mom Share a room, Jen and I share one two. We don't really mind but even if we did what choice do we have?
"Wake up" I tap him lightly. I hate being beaten out of sleep like I am with Jen so I never do it to Harry.
Surprisingly, he wakes up the first time I tap him. It usually takes a little longer. Regardless, I wait till he actually gets up before I leave; he has a habit of going back to bed when I go back to my room.
When he's in the bathroom I go back to my room and get ready for school. Despite having Pacem in the morning, I actually like school, it's more of a social thing for me, and I go there because Mom makes me of course but it's bearable since I have my friends there. I figure that I'll just chat through school and luckily pass my exams and get a decent job. Hopefully it all works out for me.
Harry and I get to school early as usual. When we part ways, he goes to his friends and I go to the sixth form common room. My friends are never as early as me so I usually just use my phone till they get here. There are only a handful of people here so far.
Hey ugly! How's your sad life without me?
I smile at the text from May. I close my mouth and bite my cheek. Dammit! This has been happening for the past two months and it's been driving me crazy, I'm pretty sure my teeth are growing outwards.
"Bite your tongue?" I hear a deep voice say.
I turn around in my seat and notice its Augustus. Strange, when we were still in secondary school we never spoke and we certainly don't now.
"No, my cheek"
"Oh, I hate when that happens" Well duh.
"Yeah I do too but it keeps happening on the exact same side of my mouth right at the back" I explain.
He pauses for a few seconds, thinking I assume "You should feel around in there. Your wisdom tooth may be coming in"
"Oh thanks, I'll have to go to the dentist to get it checked out."
"No problem" He smiles at me for a while, like he was waiting for me to keep talking.
I smile back at him and turn around in my seat about to go back to text May. But wait.
This is my problem. I always complain that boys are never interested in me buy why would they be if I act like I have no interest in them?
I think for a moment and images flash before me of what could be. Augustus and I could be in a relationship. We could laugh together. We could be in love. We could get married. Okay that one is a bit farfetched but anything could happen, but it won't unless I make it.
I have to keep the conversation going. But I can't. One thing about me is that I hate rejection. I know who doesn't right? But it's my worst fear; just the thought of it makes me feel sick. That's why I usually restrain from doing things that could end with me being humiliated in any way. I have to now though, I have to be brave and just say something.
"What do you want to be?" I blurt out. Idiot.
"What?" He's confused but he's smiling, giving me some encouragement.
"In the future, what do you want to be?" My heart is racing but I'm trying so hard to stay calm.
"Oh right, uh..." He pauses. Then his eyebrows rise when he thinks of an answer.
"I want be an online gamer and get millions from siting on my ass all day but realistically I'll probably be an engineer." He smiles. He has such a cute smile. Why have I never noticed this before?
I laugh at him. "Do you like engineering?" I ask trying to bring the conversation to a point that it can flow effortlessly.
At first he just looks at me. His brows furrowed lightly. Oh God, what did I say wrong? I get nervous and look away from him.
"What?" I speak quietly.
"Nothing, no one's ever asked me that before, that's all." His eyes don't leave my face.
What? How could no one ever ask him if he liked what he was going to be in the future? I didn't really see it as a big deal. He notices the confusion on my face and changes the subject a bit.
"What do you want to be?" His voice is filled with so much energy. It's refreshing.
"Do you want the honest answer or the lie I tell my parents?" I smile playfully.
"Both"
"I honestly don't want to be anything. I can't imagine myself having a professional career. I'm not really good at anything." I would like to randomly have a billionaire idea but odds of that happening are 1 in 100000. "But I'm probably just going to be a therapist. It's the only thing I can think of that wouldn't be that bad." The words are coming out of my mouth like a waterfall and it's like I have no filter with him, the only person I told this to was May.
"I'm sure you're good at a lot of things" He says, May said the same thing but with Augustus, the way he said it was like he actually believed it. Like he believed in me, I would believe it too if I didn't know myself.
I shrug it off and continue to speak. "What do you have first?"
"Uh, Business, you?"
"Pri-" I'm cut off by Brianne calling my name. I turn around to see all my friends gathering around the table. I sigh.
"Hey guys" I smile. I look back at Augustus and give him a sad smile, which he returns.
"Sal, you should have seen what happened to me last night, my brother was out all night and I...
I try to listen to her but it's difficult when I just had the best five minutes of the year.
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