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Chapter 2:

Breathe...

Breathe....

Breathe.....

I'm sinking in something thick and I can't breathe or see. My eyes won't open. I feel the thick substance clogging in my throat and suffocating me. I know I should try and get up but I don't even try. I feel like I have been trying to move for hours but I just got here. I suddenly feel a firm grip on my waist. I assume someone is trying to hold me down. My eyes open at the contact but I still can't see. I rub my eyes to get the thick stuff out of my eyes but it doesn't work. What?

I wake up today without the help of my alarm. It's the third night I've had that dream. Each time it's the same with a little bit added each time. It gives me the creeps.

I turn off my alarm before Jen hears it and takes it as her cue to attack me. During Pacem this morning, instead of thinking of what it would be like to be rich without any work, I found myself thinking about Augustus. It's crazy how we were in so many classes together last year and I didn't notice how attractive he was. I'm not just talking about his looks; he has a way about him that makes you feel comfortable but nervous at the same time. When he looks at me, I almost feel like I'm the only person that matters to him even though I know that isn't true. It was weird, like he knew me for years.



I get out of bed and get ready for school.

*********************

While Harry and I are on the bus to school, we usually listen to our own music in silence. Harry and I were very close, I told him everything and he is surprisingly very mature for a 13 year old boy. We get on most of the time and when we don't get along, it's usually because I'm in a mood. Harry taps my leg and I reluctantly take my earphone out, the bus journey to and from school is one of my favourite parts of the day because I get to listen to my music in peace. "That girl keeps looking at me" he points subtly. He has an annoyed expression on his face.

I look at the girl he's talking about for a couple of seconds. Then I realise why she is looking at him so much.

"She's just looking at your hair." Harry's mouth opens in realisation.

Harry's hair is naturally red. We have no idea why it happened but none of the rest of us has it, except for Sammy; my mom's oldest child.She died when she was four months old, mom never told us why though and we never talk about it. We're so used to Harry's hair now that when people look at him like he has some kind of deformity, we are confused for a while.

"Why wasn't Mommy home this morning?"

"She went to work obviously" I say rolling my eyes. My mom is almost always working, but not by choice, she has to in order to make ends meet.

"Shut up, how was I supposed to know?"

I laugh and put my earphone back in.

Harry and I speak to each other on the same level. It's weird, kind of like he's the same age as me, he is smarter than me for sure. When we talk we don't have a filter but he knows what lines not to cross.



*******************

As soon as I walk through the doors of the common room, I instantly feel nervous and half hope Augustus isn't there and half hope he is.

I spot him straight away. He glances at me and then takes a proper look. He beams at me and so many butterflies fill my stomach that I feel sick.

"Hey!" He is so enthusiastic; I never saw him as the type. Last year he was so quiet in class.

"Hi" I laugh shyly. I go to sit in my usual seat but he stops me.

"Come sit over here with me" Oh my God. I flush and pray he doesn't see it.

I sit in front of him and look at him. His eyes are a beautiful shade of blue and his hair looks like gold.

"I'm so exhausted, my Mom was going off on one last night and I got so angry." He yawns.

"Why did that make you tired?"

"When I get angry I can't sleep, it's strange I know but I literally can't keep my eyes shut for more than a couple of seconds." He rubs sleep from his eyes.

"You're right, that is strange" I laugh. He gives me a playful grimace, but it looks more cute than intimidating.

"Shut up, I bet when you're angry you binge eat or only watch a certain show or something weird like that"

"Wrong actually. When I get angry, I cry." I say as if I just proved him something.

"That's way worse, what are you talking about?" He's laughing so hard his face is red.

"Shut up" I say, pretending to be annoyed but I can't help but smile. He is so cute when he laughs, when he does anything actually.

"Sorry mate, I think it's cute" He still hasn't stopped laughing.

My smile drops slightly at the word mate. I am so naïve. Why did I think that just because he was speaking to me that he liked me in that way? He probably already has a girlfriend, or has a crush on another girl. This was another fault of mine, falling for boys that give me the slightest bit of attention and imagining being in a relationship with them.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't hear Augustus calling my name. He then places a hand on both of mine on the table; his one large hand covers the both of mine easily. I snap back to reality and look from his hand to him.

"Hey, are you still there?" He smiles lightly, he's always smiling.

His hand is so warm and soft and I hope he doesn't move it. "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry." He takes it as a signal to move his hand away and I stop myself from taking it back.

He looks behind me and his face falls the smallest bit but I notice. I turn around to see Brianne, Danielle, Una, Abby and Kathrine.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He smiles. I turn back to him at look him in the eye, contemplating my options.

1: I could go back to my friends, talk about things I could talk about at lunch or even in lesson.

2: I could stay with Augustus and get to know him better.

I knew exactly which one was the better option.

"No, I'll stay here; I can talk to them any time."

His eyes light up and I assume that my hazel ones do too because I am so happy. I get the conversation going again.

"I think I want to write a book" I say randomly. He's the first person I told.

"Really? What happened to 'I'm not good at anything'" he mocks.

"Ha-ha" I say sarcastically. "I want to try it. See if it's for me."

"Are you thinking about publishing it when you're done?" He asks seriously.

"I think I'm just going to write it for myself and my family and friends but if they think its good enough then I might publish."

"You should publish it because you think it's good not because other people do." He says it with so much feeling and honesty that it makes me uncomfortable.

I don't look him in the eyes "Yeah, I know that"

He takes my hand for the second time and makes me look at him. "Seriously Salma, all that matters is you, if you think your book is good then its good. If you think you are good at stuff then you are. Never forget that. Okay?" He was looking into my eyes the whole time and for once in my life I didn't cower away. Usually stuff like this in movies makes me cringe to the max but with him, it's different. It's natural. "Thanks Augustus" I smile sincerely.

"Call me Gus, God you sound like my mom" He laughs.

"Oh if you want to try writing the book the old fashioned way, my dad has a typewriter he doesn't use. We can come over to my place and get it." This was a shock to me. We had only been talking for two days and he was already inviting me to his house. Even though I was shocked, I was an exciting shock. Like the feeling you get while you're on a roller-coaster waiting for it to start.

I was thinking too much. He probably just saw me as a friend and just wanted to give me the typewriter, nothing more, nothing less. In that moment I make a promise with myself to hope for the worst, if I think he isn't interested then it'll be a happy surprise if he actually is.

"Really?! That would be great thanks Gus" I was probably never going to use the thing but the way his face lit up at the idea made it impossible to reject him.

"Cool, meet me at the gates outside school at the end of the day"

"Yeah, I'll see you then, bye" I stand to head over to my psychology class a bit early when Gus grabs my hand lightly. I instantly get a tingly feeling.

I turn back to him with an expecting look. "Since you get to call me Gus does that mean I get to call you by a nickname too?" he asks coyly.

I laugh "Well, I didn't actually ask to call you Gus but sure, you can call me Sal." Every minute I talk to him, we get more and more comfortable with each other. I walk to psychology without saying anything more. When I get there, I see Jess is already standing there.

"Why are you so early?" Usually Jess gets to school when the first bell rings, since she lives right across from the school.

"The school called my mom and told her they think it would be better if I started getting to school at least five minutes early" she says in a dull mood.

"But you always get here on time"

"Yeah well they think I should 'adjust myself to university life because I won't always be so close to home'" She rolls her eyes so far back that I worry they might stay there.

"Wow that is the dumbest thing I ever heard" This school has always made stupid rules. Parents and other adults may think that we over exaggerate because we're young, but I'm pretty sure that no coats in the building even when it's raining is pointless. The school has a habit of making new rules and ideas when there are so many things that need to be changed right now. Like the canteen food, I think any normal human being would say £2.20 for a sausage baguette is a huge stretch and leaks in the ceiling are safety hazards but what do I know? I'm just a kid.



The first bell rings and we, along with a few other students that get in early go into the classroom. The whole time I was in my lessons today I was day dreaming and not because I wanted to get home and watch TV shows. This time it was because I was going home with Augustus...Gus. I wonder if his parents would be home. Maybe I would have to wait outside while he got the typewriter. So much for not over thinking it.



***********************

The school day is finally over and I'm waiting for Gus at the front gates.

I've only been waiting there for a few minutes but already, my mind is been filled with ridiculous scenarios like maybe he forgot about me or he couldn't be bothered so he left or he wasn't actually serious about the typewriter at all and it was just a joke. Maybe I should leave; maybe I should go back into school and look for him.

"Hey" Gus' voice startles and relieves me but I play it cool.

"Oh hey" I smile softly.

"Sorry I took too long; Mr Smith was giving me the engineering homework I missed. I can't catch a break with that guy" He tries to act like Mr Smith made him stay behind but everyone knows he is too nice to do that and also, Gus has always been a model student who always did the right thing so it was no surprise that he asked for some homework he missed.

"Yeah, I know right" I play along for his sake. He notices that I can tell he's lying and gives me a grateful smile for not calling him out.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me just find my bus pass." I start rooting through my bag for it.

"What? No, we're taking my car. Unless you mind?" I didn't mind one bit. Gus having a car made him even more attractive to me, like he was a real man.

"No I don't mind." I wonder where he got the money to get the car, if he works or if his parents got it for him. Why am I thinking about it when I could just ask him?

"How were you able to pay for the car?"

"Well it's not a Range Rover or anything; it's just a crappy Toyota. I work in Lidl and the pay is good so I saved up for a year and got the car." While he talks, I look at him so closely. He is so adorable. I notice that in-between sentences he licks his lips even though they're so cherry red and soft looking. I sigh. I need to get those thoughts out of my head.

It's silent while we walk to his car, but not the type of silence where you want to run away because it's so awkward, it's more of a peaceful silence.

When we reach Gus' car, he steps in front of me quickly and opens the door for me. He has an awkward, nervous look on his face and it is the sweetest thing I ever saw. I can't imagine him being nervous around me of all people. The fact that he opened the door for me would be weird if I was in this situation with any other boy, but with Gus I don't mind surprisingly.

"Thanks Gus." I step into the car and while he's walking to his side of the car I see the redness in his cheeks. I smile but then my cheeks do the exact same thing when I think about how I'm going to be in a car with him, alone.