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Izzy
Since I didn’t go home for Christmas I’d mailed gifts to my mom and my brothers. I hadn’t talked to them on Christmas day and I’d put off calling them for a few days but it can’t be avoided any longer. Axl and Erin are out at the grocery store so there’s no one to hear if the conversation goes wrong. I sigh and sit down on the bed and pick up the phone next to it. I dial the number and wait to hear mom’s phone ring on the other end. She picks up on the second one. “Hello?” she says.

“Hi Mom, it’s me,” I reply.

“Oh Izzy, how are you?” she asks.

“I’m good, how are you? Did you get the gifts I sent?” I ask her. I’d send her a gold heart shaped necklace with a diamond in the middle. I’d sent my brothers both new designer leather jackets and some cash.

“Yes we got them, thank you. The necklace was very pretty and your brothers liked their jackets. How was your Christmas?”

“It was good,” I reply. “Axl and I went to Slash’s mom’s house. It was a good day.”

“I suppose Slash is someone in your band?” she asks like she doesn’t already know who Slash is.

“Mom you know Slash is our lead guitarist,” I say, annoyed.

“All I know Izzy is that you think you’re a bigshot rockstar or something, your father told me what happened when he went to your show!” she sniffs.

“Mom, I didn’t mean for dad to see me with that girl!” I protest. “Axl invited him to the show and didn’t tell me he was coming.”

“Whatever Izzy, you’re not some bigshot, your band is nothing special, who do you think you’re fooling? Being a rockstar is just some dream you have so you can avoid getting a real job and settling down!” she says.

“What? Mom, we had a number one song, we’ve toured the world with Aerosmith and Motley Crue, we’ve made it mom, it’s not just a dream, it’s real!” I tell her, not believing what I’m hearing.

“I don’t know who Motley Crue is but I do know who you are and it’s embarrassing to know that my son is behaving the way your father told me you were!” she snaps.

I start to see red and know that I need to end this phone call before I say something I’ll regret. “Whatever mom, I have to go, I’m glad you liked your gift,” I tell her and then hang up. I’m so angry I”m almost in tears; why can’t I have a family that loves me and supports me like Slash and Duff do? Why can’t my own mother believe in me? Why can’t she be proud of me? I get up and stalk out of the bedroom restraining myself from breaking anything. Axl’s gone so I can’t talk to him about it but he’d be pissed if I broke any of his shit. When I was with Slash he would hold me and calm me down but he’s with Duff. I still cared about him but things are good with Axl right now and anyway Slash and Duff are happy and so much closer than ever. Duff loved him and got him through the aftermath of a horribly brutal rape and Slash adored him for it. You couldn’t blame the kid, Duff had done an amazing job of caring for him. He’d loved him and supported him, taken care of him when Slash was incapable of caring for himself, even when the kid was mute Duff had known what he needed. In return Slash’s heart belonged to Duff completely. They were sickeningly adorable.

So in the absence of any human comfort I cook up a hit and shoot it into a vein on my foot where Axl won’t notice. He’s trying to do to me what Duff did to Slash and get me down to a couple shots a day but I don’t want to be controlled in that way. I grab my guitar and start to play and a song quickly comes to me; part of the magic of smack, it makes me super creative. I let my mom inspire the lyrics: “I called my mother, she’s just a cunt now, she said I’m sick in the head. She said “You ain’t special, so who you foolin, don’t try and give me a line,” but I can’t stop thinking bout doing it one more time.” I manage to write out a couple of verses and a chorus and finish the whole song, think I’ll call it “Bad Obsession.” I hear the door open while I’m finishing it up, guess Axl and Erin are back.

“What are you playing Angel?” Axl asks from the door to balcony.

“Something I just wrote, I called my mom, she inspired me,” I reply.

“Your mom inspired you?” he asks, confused.

“Yeah,” I snort, “you wanna hear it?”

“Sure baby,” he answers.

So I play it for him. “Do you like it?” I ask.

“I think it’s great,” he says. “Does this mean you got high after you talked to her?”

“Axl,” I begin but he just laughs.

“Relax Angel, I’m not worried about it. I love you and I know talking to your mom is hard on you because she treats you like crap. Come here,” he says and pulls me into his arms. “Whatever she said it’s a bunch of crap, don’t listen to her, she’s just old and bitter that her life didn’t turn out so great and it’s her own fault for wasting a lot of her time. We’re gonna be something super great and she can’t take that away from you, ok?” He looks at me and I nod and he leans up and kisses me.

“What’s gotten into you? You never care what my mom says or how I feel about it,” I say to him, a little surprised.

“Oh, just something Slash said I should pay attention to, figured maybe I should listen. He said you really needed some building back up sometimes after you talked to your mom or dad, so forget the bitch. You’re amazing Izzy, I’d like to see her sit and write a song in less than an hour. Now, are you hungry? Erin’s making some kind of shrimp for dinner, some shit with avocado, sounds weird but it’s probably good.”
I laugh and say “Yeah, I’m hungry, let’s go hover outside the kitchen until she feeds us!”

“She might want us to help if we do that, why don’t you play that song and I’ll sing it?”

“Ok, deal,” I chuckle. So I sit down and play my new song and Axl absolutely nails it. Screw you mom, I’m amazing!