FicWad

Axl

I finally got home around noon after getting up at dawn to go to some fucking interview. It was so fucking boring. But it's part of the job. The unfair part is I'm the only one really speaking for the band. Slash, Duff, and Steven are usually fucking slurring, nodding, or falling and shit. And Izzy, he simply won't. So by the time I get home I'm high strung and kinda pissed at Izzy for making me be the voice of GNR.

When I walk in I find Izzy sitting by the window and staring aimlessly at probably nothing. He finally looks at me and pulls a smile to his face. I know that fake smile. Something had happened that left him unsettled. And the little shit thinks he can put on his fake smile because he doesn't want me to know.

He clears his throat, "How'd it go darlin?"

"Cut the shit Izzy, what happened?"

His eyes flutter away, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Izzy, in twelve years have you ever been able to hide something from me for long? Especially when I can clearly see you're hiding something. Now tell me what the fuck happened while I was gone."

He sighs deeply and takes a chug from the bottle of gin in his hand. "Sixx was here."

"WHAT?!?! What do you mean by here?! In our fucking apartment?!"

"Yeah," Izzy nods and pulls out a cigarette. " He was just being all creepy out in his car for an hour before I went down to find out what he was doing there."

"And?!" I emphatically ask with my arms out to my sides in punctuation.

"He was acting strange, but not on drugs...drunk though. Then I find out that Tommy raped him. I couldn't let him drive, he was all emotionally fucked."

"So what?! Fucking good!! I hope he wallow in it! I can't believe you fucking brought that goddamn rapist in the place we live!!!"

Izzy exhalesca plume of smoke and turns to stare out the window again. "Yeah, well he never raped me. It was Tommy, just like it was for him. I guess I could relate and felt sorry for him."

"You Fucking felt sorry for him?! The motherfucker who RAPED me?! The same son of a bitch who drugged you, tied you up and MADE you watch him do it to Slash?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Still staring out the window, "Because I felt Fucking sorry for him..ok?"

"No! It's far from fucking ok!!"

"He just needed someone to talk to that understood," he turns to face me again, "Nothing happened. He cried and begged for forgiveness, then he calmed down and left. No big deal, really."

I'm about to start yelling again when the phone rings. I jerk it from the receiver and bring it to my ear. "What?!"

On the other end is Duff telling me that he and Slash are back in town. I hadn't even noticed that they ever left. Then I remembered that interview this morning and get pissed at Duff too. Fuck, all of the band. I tell him to get their asses over here because we needed a band meeting right now! Shit has to change. I can't do everything. I'm not going to. Fuck that. Either they're in this band sharing the work or they can fuck off. I'll end this band today, I swear to fucking God!

While I was on the phone Izzy used the opportunity to run away and get in the shower. I could go break down the door and yell at him some more, but I'm too fucking mad. I'd surely punch him. My eyes catch Izzy's gin bottle on the table. I walk over to it and pick it up. I bring it to my lips but I hesitate. Getting drunk while pissed is never good. So I sit it down and reach into my pocket. I pull out my prescription of Valium. I pour three in my hand and swallow them down with nothing to drink. I have to get calm.

Then I cut on the TV and channel flip. By the time Izzy returns the valium have kicked in. "Guys are coming over. We're having a band meeting."

"About Nikki? Axl I told you..."

"I'm not talking about that. It's about band issues."

"What issues?" He frowns at me.

"You'll find out when the guys get here."

He sighs and slightly shakes his head. "Come on Treader, let's get you some breakfast buddy." Treader jumps up out of his doggie bed and follows Izzy into the kitchen.

continue aimlessly channel surfing. I'm pretty lulled out so some channels I one on for a minute or two before I remember that I wasn't watching it. I don't know how long I'm slouched on the couch, remote in hand before Izzy comes back into the room. He stops and looks me over. He tilts his head the same way his fucking dog does.

"Fireball...did you take something?"

"Valium," I mutter and I hear Izzy exhale in relief. I guess he thought I dipped into his smack.

Soon I hear the doorbell. The guys must be here. Izzy goes and opens the door. I can hear their greetings. Then I hear Izzy whispering to them that it's ok, I took my Valium. Then they amble into the living room where I am and start plopping down where they can. They each greet me in turn and I just nod at them, still zoned in on the TV. It's showing some soap opera.

"So you wanted a band meeting, care to get started?" Steven asks. He seems jittery but his eyes are drooping and his pupils are way off. Naturally he would be high.

Izzy sits next to me. "Look," I say sitting up from my slouched position, "You fuckers have to get it together. I'm sick of being the only member of a five man band. Duff, you're always slurring your words and they you pupils are always dialated. Slash, you barely get above a whisper. You're always running out of breath mid sentence. You're always nodding out in public. You and Duff are always tripping over your own feet. Steven we never even see you except on stage. And you look like those two," I point at Slash and Duff. "And you Izz, this was supposed to be our band. We started it. We sold our bodies and souls for this."

"Hey we agreed a long fucking time ago that I handle the band and you handle the business."

"Fine then, fucking deal with them!! Or are you so fucked up too that you can't see how they look?! I'm serious guys, you either pull it the fuck together and start helping out or I'll..."

"What? Quit?" Izzy huffs, "Who's running now darlin?"

"Don't push me right now Izzy," I warn him.

He puts his hands on his hips and stares up at the ceiling a moment, "Fine. Well cut back on the partying and start helping out."

"Really? Are you and your Merry men even capable of that? Cuz I'm talking interviews all fucking day long, that means no getting high until the fucking work is done!!"

"Work?!" Slash yells shouting at me, "We beat you on the fucking stage every goddamn time!"

"Did it occur to you that I might be on time if it wasn't up to me to do EVERY FUCKING THING!?"

"Come on guys, just chill," Duff says.

"Chill? That's all you four do is chill!!"

"Axl!" Izzy shouts over everyone, "I said I'll handle it!"

"You better," I look at him with a very serious raised brow. I get that they've all been through some horrible things, especially my dark angel. I understand how drugs and booze are the crutches that help them carry on. But their problems are hindering them from doing the needed work. They aren't the only one with problems, I'm having my own problems. I may not be an addict, but I have been. I understand. But I'm the one suffering from visual and auditory hallucinations. I needed help with running this band. The stress just makes Billy haunt me more. I don't even know what I look like anymore. The only time Billy goes away is when I have Izzy shoot me up. "Ok, meeting over."

I watch everyone visably relax. I'm not sure why I make them all feel that way. Maybe it's the Dynamics of our band. Duff the peacemaker, Slash the erotic wet dream of most, Izzy the protector, Steven the idiot, and me, the fucking parent. And not just any parent, one with authority. Maybe it's my voice, it's deeper than all of theirs. Maybe it's because I am the most sober one.

"Oh hey, some dude down in Mexico gave us these," Duff says bringing out this bag of pills."

Izzy looks at them carefully, "Black Mollies?"

"No, from the way he described it it's like those pills those hippy chicks gave us that time. You guys want some?"

Izzy turns to look at me. He hasn't forgotten what I just said about getting shit together. But he really wants those pills. "Come on Fireball, let's take some. Don't you remember how great we felt that time? There's no more band business today. Just take some and try to relax darlin."

I will admit I could really use that special feeling that day with those hippy chicks. But I've already taken valium, they might over ride them or cancel each other out. Fuck it, maybe it'll take this craving for smack away. Maybe it'll make Billy go away So I take two of the pills. Everyone else takes them too. While we wait for them to kick in Duff tells us about him and Slash going to Mexico.

About thirty minutes later the pills start to do something to me, but it's not what the hippy chicks had given us. I don't know what this is. I feel...horny. like really really bad. I want to fuck the shit out of Izzy. When I glance at him next to me he's giving me that head to toe look that says he wants me. However, I don't feel any kind of a high. I just wanna fuck.

"Do you guys feel something?" Steven asks.

Duff and Slash are too busy making out to even acknowledge him. But Izzy nods at him, "Yeah, I'm so horny that I'll stick my dick in any hole I can find. I think we took Spanish Flys."

"There wasn't a bug in mine," Steven shakes his head.

Izzy rolls his eyes, "That's what it's called, not what's in it. Is anybody else hard as a fucking rock?" Izzy asks then and adjusts his dick.

We all say yes. Hard, ready, and able. And honestly, I could give a fuck who or what I'd fuck. Fuck! How long is this gonna last? I glance in Steven direction and he has his cock in his hand jerking off. Both Izzy and I stare at him, but neither of us tell him to stop. The expression on Izzy's face says that if Steven didn't stop he'd fuck him senseless. Then Izzy looks at me. We have one of our little telepathic conversations. We try to decide if we should send the guys on their way and go to our bedroom and fuck for the rest of the day. Or do we feel sympathetic for them having to leave with visible erections? Or just say fuck it and go at it right here, right now?

The next thing I know izzy has straddled my lap and is hurriedly trying to undo my pants. At that point the fact that the entire band was in this room, just flew from my brain. I had to stick my dick in something. I start undressing Izzy too. We get naked so fast you'd think we were in a play with multiple costume changes to be preformed in thirty seconds or less. I rip open Izzy's shirt. The two buttons holding it on him fly arcoss the room. Something animalistic and primal is dominating me. I know I'll hurt Izzy if I go with the feelings of lust I was having. We'd been through that not long ago. No, this time I have to hold back.

"Fuck," I hear Steven, "You motherfuckers are making me even more horny. Like seriously, I might fuck one of you."

Izzy's head instantly turns to Steven. Yeah, I know what he's thinking. Izzy's always down for an orgy. Normally though it's a girl with he and myself. But these sex pills Duff gave us are making it really hard to do right from wrong. Steven ain't gay. But this drug has completely removed all inhibitions. There are zero concenquences as far as we're all concerned. I mean fuck, Steven is jerking off with us all in the room. Slash is blowing Duff on my love seat. And I'm exposed and about to have Izzy's cock in my ass, right here, right now, audience be damned