Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Wonderwall
I'm a whole lot of trouble, baby...
and the plot thickens...(insert cheesy plot-thickening music here) ya know, like DUN,DUN, DUN!
?Blocked
Title: "Trouble" Christina Aguleria
I immediately felt the stinging in my eyes. The news I had just received was beyond anything I could have imagined hearing. My phone slid from my palm as the world around me slipped into blackness and I suddenly felt nothing.
My eyes fluttered open as I stared around the darkness. What time was it? I looked around and saw myself on my bed. I couldn't get my head around how I had gotten here. I slowly stood up, trudged to the bathroom and glanced up at my reflection. Ew, I really looked terrible. My stomach began it's usual rising dance as the fluids began to bubble. I gagged, but in these weeks gone by, I had managed to learn to subdue my oncoming vomit. Then suddenly I remembered...
I sat on the floor of my walk-in closet and twirled my phone around in my hands. I had to let him know, right? This was the right thing to do? Just, tell him what happened, give my intentions and tell him 'what's done is done'? I inhaled slowly. I pressed send as my phone began to connect. The ringing on the other line made my head buzz. I wasn't ready for this, I barely knew this kid. Shit, I thought.
"Hello?" a groggy voice had picked up. What time was it? I opened my mouth and said his name, but no sound came out. "Hello? Please don't fuck with me, person, I'm tired." The voice said. I smiled slightly.
"Ryan?" I managed to squeak out.
"Yeah? Who is this?" I froze. Do I tell him it's me, tell him I have news or do I hang up and let him think some weird teenie had called just to hear his voice?
"It's...um...it's me, Ryan. Tinsley."
"Oh yeah," his voice began to sound cheery. "Hey what's up? I called you like, 2 weeks ago."
"Yeah...I know. I just...I've been really sick, ya know? I...um...well are you home right now?" I heard him yawn.
"No, I'm in London." I glanced at my clock. Woops, major time zone difference, no wonder he sounded sleepy. Three am, anyone?
"Oh, shit. I'm sorry. When do you guys come home?"
"Um, we have a week break, in like two days. Why?" I gulped. Here it goes...
"Um, something happened and I need to talk to you. It's important, too. So, can you let me know as soon as you get home?"
"Why don't you tell me now, because if it's that important..." I could hear the questioning in his voice. I knew he was thinking it, but he didn't want it to be right either, anymore than I did.
"I just rather tell you in person because,..." I began, Ryan cutting me off,
"JUST TELL ME NOW." He said sternly. "Just fucking get it over with." I heard tension in his voice. I knew he knew.
"Fuck, man. This isn't easy for me either, okay? I'm pregnant. I slept with you once, I've known you for less then a month and there you have it. Congrats, Dad." I said and immediately hung up. What audacity. What bullshit. Fuck him and this baby. I had already made up my mind and I wasn't going to let some stale memories of one night change that. I wasn't going to let my heart tell me that Ryan had every right to have a say in what I do with this baby. It was going away and that was final.
The ringing of my phone quickly interrupted my seething and angry thoughts. I glared at it because I knew it was him. The nerve. I answered it,
"What?"
Silence.
"What, Ryan? What other pushy shit could you possibly have to say to me?"
I heard breathing. I grumbled, he was catching me at a bad moment.
"Being a father scares me." He finally said. My heaving chest began to slow. What did that mean?
"Remember, that night, I didn't want to go home? It was because of my father. I've never known a real one and I'm not sure I have what it takes." He added. My heart sunk. Then if remembered I was supposed to be angry.
"Yea, that's good, because it won't matter anyway. I'm getting an abortion." As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn't. The sharp breath he took...
"That's my baby, too. You can't do this. I want to try and give this child everything I never had." I rolled my eyes, playing my angry game.
"It's my body. You get to stay out on tour and never be here while I'm the one carrying this thing around for 9 1/2 months. I don't think so. I'm getting rid of it."
"My dad drinks a lot, Tinsley. I know you can't understand that or what it's like, but it sucks and I hate him for it. But I love him enough that I know he should be aware that he's a grandfather, that he didn't fuck me up forever."
"Fuck you. That's just proof that this isn't right. You don't know dick about me or what I've been through. My oldest brother has been an alcoholic since he was 14. He's 23 now. We cannot do this, Ryan. I won't bring my child up on the road. I won't have the baby's father never be there when it needs him. I'm sorry."
"Just don't make any decisions until I come home, please?" I sighed. I wanted to tell him, 'I want a family, too,' but instead,
"Alright, fine." I replied in my most annoyed voice possible.
I immediately felt the stinging in my eyes. The news I had just received was beyond anything I could have imagined hearing. My phone slid from my palm as the world around me slipped into blackness and I suddenly felt nothing.
My eyes fluttered open as I stared around the darkness. What time was it? I looked around and saw myself on my bed. I couldn't get my head around how I had gotten here. I slowly stood up, trudged to the bathroom and glanced up at my reflection. Ew, I really looked terrible. My stomach began it's usual rising dance as the fluids began to bubble. I gagged, but in these weeks gone by, I had managed to learn to subdue my oncoming vomit. Then suddenly I remembered...
I sat on the floor of my walk-in closet and twirled my phone around in my hands. I had to let him know, right? This was the right thing to do? Just, tell him what happened, give my intentions and tell him 'what's done is done'? I inhaled slowly. I pressed send as my phone began to connect. The ringing on the other line made my head buzz. I wasn't ready for this, I barely knew this kid. Shit, I thought.
"Hello?" a groggy voice had picked up. What time was it? I opened my mouth and said his name, but no sound came out. "Hello? Please don't fuck with me, person, I'm tired." The voice said. I smiled slightly.
"Ryan?" I managed to squeak out.
"Yeah? Who is this?" I froze. Do I tell him it's me, tell him I have news or do I hang up and let him think some weird teenie had called just to hear his voice?
"It's...um...it's me, Ryan. Tinsley."
"Oh yeah," his voice began to sound cheery. "Hey what's up? I called you like, 2 weeks ago."
"Yeah...I know. I just...I've been really sick, ya know? I...um...well are you home right now?" I heard him yawn.
"No, I'm in London." I glanced at my clock. Woops, major time zone difference, no wonder he sounded sleepy. Three am, anyone?
"Oh, shit. I'm sorry. When do you guys come home?"
"Um, we have a week break, in like two days. Why?" I gulped. Here it goes...
"Um, something happened and I need to talk to you. It's important, too. So, can you let me know as soon as you get home?"
"Why don't you tell me now, because if it's that important..." I could hear the questioning in his voice. I knew he was thinking it, but he didn't want it to be right either, anymore than I did.
"I just rather tell you in person because,..." I began, Ryan cutting me off,
"JUST TELL ME NOW." He said sternly. "Just fucking get it over with." I heard tension in his voice. I knew he knew.
"Fuck, man. This isn't easy for me either, okay? I'm pregnant. I slept with you once, I've known you for less then a month and there you have it. Congrats, Dad." I said and immediately hung up. What audacity. What bullshit. Fuck him and this baby. I had already made up my mind and I wasn't going to let some stale memories of one night change that. I wasn't going to let my heart tell me that Ryan had every right to have a say in what I do with this baby. It was going away and that was final.
The ringing of my phone quickly interrupted my seething and angry thoughts. I glared at it because I knew it was him. The nerve. I answered it,
"What?"
Silence.
"What, Ryan? What other pushy shit could you possibly have to say to me?"
I heard breathing. I grumbled, he was catching me at a bad moment.
"Being a father scares me." He finally said. My heaving chest began to slow. What did that mean?
"Remember, that night, I didn't want to go home? It was because of my father. I've never known a real one and I'm not sure I have what it takes." He added. My heart sunk. Then if remembered I was supposed to be angry.
"Yea, that's good, because it won't matter anyway. I'm getting an abortion." As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn't. The sharp breath he took...
"That's my baby, too. You can't do this. I want to try and give this child everything I never had." I rolled my eyes, playing my angry game.
"It's my body. You get to stay out on tour and never be here while I'm the one carrying this thing around for 9 1/2 months. I don't think so. I'm getting rid of it."
"My dad drinks a lot, Tinsley. I know you can't understand that or what it's like, but it sucks and I hate him for it. But I love him enough that I know he should be aware that he's a grandfather, that he didn't fuck me up forever."
"Fuck you. That's just proof that this isn't right. You don't know dick about me or what I've been through. My oldest brother has been an alcoholic since he was 14. He's 23 now. We cannot do this, Ryan. I won't bring my child up on the road. I won't have the baby's father never be there when it needs him. I'm sorry."
"Just don't make any decisions until I come home, please?" I sighed. I wanted to tell him, 'I want a family, too,' but instead,
"Alright, fine." I replied in my most annoyed voice possible.
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