FicWad

~Sophie's POV~
Three months. It's been three months since I decided to out this marriage. But the farthest into the divorce we got was me filing. Its bee eight weeks since I've seen Benji, or since he's seen me, and the few pounds I've put on in his absence. Or more specifically, the pregnant bulge that had developed on my usually flat tummy. As far as I knew, he didn't even know about it. I never had the courage to tell him, and I wasn't planning on doing so for a little while longer.
"Momma, Daddy's on the phone!" Sim squealed running into the kitchen where I was making lunch, and handing me the phone.
"Hi." I said dully to my kids' father.
"Boy, do you sound happy to talk to me." He joked. "What's wrong?"
"PMSing." I lied, hating myself for hiding his child-to-be from him. "What's up?"
"Sim said you've been sick lately, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I swallowed. "Just a virus.... Nothing too bad."
"Hey Soph, if you need me-"
"Benji, I'm fine. I don't need you home." I said quickly, maybe a little too quickly.
"Ok then... I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later?" he asked hopefully.
"Whatever."
"Sophie, what's wrong?" he asked softly.
"Nothing." I snapped. "I just need to lie down for a while. Bye Benji."
I hung up before he could say anything and had to choke back a sob. When did this happen? I loved him so much when we got married, yet here we were, him on the road and me at home, barely talking to each other, and I was lying to him. He didn't even know he was gonna be a father again in six months. My best times in life had been when I was pregnant, because he was always so happy. He was always so excited for our children to come into the world, and all the nuisance and pain of pregnancy was worth every second just to see the look on his face as he took the newborn into his arms for the first time.
Flashbacks of all my previous pregnancies crowded my mind, and I collapsed into a kitchen chair. He was going to be so angry at me, I was scared.
I looked up when Noah came in, looking at me in disappointment.
"What?" I asked.
"Benji just called me." She said sitting down next to me.
"Ok..."
"He wanted to know if you really are ok, because the last few times you've spoken to him you've been really distant." She looked at me hard. "You didn't tell him, did you?" I looked away guiltily. "Sophie, that's wrong! So wrong! Just because you're having a bitch out at the man you love even though he's trying to make things better, doesn't mean you can't tell him you're pregnant. It's his child!"
"I know Noah!" I snapped. "But you don't know him like I do. When I'm pregnant, for him there's nothing else happening in the world. His whole life revolves around me and my pregnancy. If I tell him, he'll come home and take care of me and think everything's right again. And it's not! I don't want to fucking be with him anymore!"
Noah looked at me reprovingly. "Is that the truth Sophie?" she whispered. "Cuz if its not, you're only lying to yourself and wont have anyone else to blame when you realize you can't live without him."
"I lived without him for two years." I whispered back.
"And it hurt you like hell." She added. "A lifetime would be worse."
I just sighed and touched my stomach. Maybe this child could make it better. Maybe it could bring me to forget the jerk he'd been, and forgive him. Maybe this baby could fix this marriage, because in the back of my mind, where I tried to forget about it, I loved Benji more then life it's self. And the rest of my life without him would be an early death. I had a lot of thinking to do.


*oh arent you the lucky ducks? i am sick! ironically and very literally, from school. the eight hour school days and hour travel both ways, apparently are not working for me. i havent slept or eaten in days, so i wasnt allowed to go today. so i decided to update for you lovelies! dotcha just love me? anyway, im almost done typing up the next chap. get ready for a huge 'OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!' yep yep.... d r a m a!