Categories > Original > Humor > 5 Ways

5 Ways to Get a Girlfriend

by TheDoctor65 0 reviews

Now the reverse! 5 Ways to get a girlfriend! Boys - and girls - pay attention for some SERIOUS tips. :) Strong Language.

Category: Humor - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Romance - Warnings: [V] [X] - Published: 2017-08-13 - Updated: 2017-08-13 - 1001 words

0Unrated
WAY I: To follow Way One, you must do the following steps (this won't be a shitstorm I promise)
Step One: Be comfortable alone, and make sure said girl you want to date notices you are comfy alone.
Step Two: Make said girl know you are calm, a family person to know she can trust you if you had a family together, and willing to talk about things serious. But make sure your jokes aren't shit and dirty, just make sure you are a likeable person socially.
Step Three: Become friends with her, and MAKE SURE COMPLETELY you are NOT in the friend zone. If you are, the girl is the one not wanting to date you but you want to date her, that's the friend zone. Get out of it at all costs, make sure you are friends though.
Step Four: Once you are sure she'll say yes, ask her to hang out after school or after work. If she says yes, you only have to make sure it's a good time and repeat this three or four times.
Step Five: Ask her out. If you aren't in the friend zone and she likes you and know you are a good guy, she'll most likely say yes. And boom, you have a girlfriend.
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WAY II: To follow Way Two, you must do the following steps (joke way please don't do this)
Step One: Threaten her if she doesn't go out with you.
Step Two: Boom you have a girlfriend.
(PLEASE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE DO NOT DO WAY TWO THIS WAS A JOKE WAY. IT CAN GET YOU ARRESTED. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DO GET ARRESTED IF YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO NOT SEE THIS WARNING AND THAT IT IS A JOKE, I DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ARREST.)
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Way III: To follow Way Three, you must do the following steps (good way again). Pre-requirements are already friends and how to get out the friend zone.
Step One: If you are in the friend zone with the girl you want to go out with, she is mostly the one in the friend zone stopping your potential relationship. To get out of this, make sure she shows some sort of interest.
Step Two: Does she talk about deep things to you? About how much she wants a boyfriend/girlfriend? About how much she feels lonely? If she does, this is a sign of trust. And because of this, she trusts you enough to start a relationship. The next steps is what to do when you find out this.
PART ONE: If she said she feels lonely, then do Step 4 and Step 5 of Way I, ask her to hang out after school or work and boom, should work.
PART TWO: If she says she wants a boyfriend/girlfriend, subtly notice you are a good choice for her. Say how good some people are as friends, then note how kind you can be and give some credit to that, but don't make it full of yourself too much or else she'll think you are all about you. This part is pretty much the long one, because she might go out with a few other people before she finds you.
PART THREE: If there is anything else deep she talks to you about, it's most likely how bad life is, or in extreme cases, if she wants to harm herself or how much she hates everyone. If she talks to you about that, she doesn't want to go out with you. If she tells you about that, please don't try and take advantage of that and help her as a decent human being you probably are.
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WAY IV: Look tough and smart. Follow these steps if you want to:
Step One: Help people in front of her, as it'll show you care about people and not just yourself. Even if it's simple as helping a friend pick up books or helping her or anyone else with tests and homework.
Step Two: Avoid being rejected by a girl. If you ask her out too early and she rejects you, remain cool and calm and do not break down. Take this as a way she does not like you and it can change the way she thinks about you.
Step Three: If she does reject you, you do Step Two but you do not ask her out yourself. If you do, you look desperate and clingy. If she doesn't ask you out, your in the friend zone, and, luckily, I did a Way on getting out of it! LUCK!
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WAY V: The generous way.
Step One: Raise money for charity and make sure she knows WELL.
Step Two: Do things that raise money that doesn't go to you and that she knows WELL.
Step Three: Include her in the events you do, but invite a bulk of people and not just her. If she's in your tutor/class, invite some of the class and pick her out or the entire class.
Step Four: She'll see you as a generous person and that you aren't out for yourself. Nearly done.
Step Five: MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Step Six: In a cool and calm way, ask her out. If she says no, just repeat Way V. If that doesn't work, pick another way in the guide.
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Hope to see my male (and some female) readers with a girlfriend after reading this.
Tested all of these myself with friends and me and it works (EXCEPT TWO THAT WAS A JOKE ONE PLEASE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE DO NOT DO WAY TWO. IT CAN GET YOU ARRESTED. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DO GET ARRESTED IF YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO NOT SEE THIS WARNING, I DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ARREST.)

With that cleared, comment ideas you want to see as the next 5 Ways!
If your idea is chosen, I'll credit you at the end of your idea!

PLUS THANK YOU FOR 10,000 VIEWS ON ALL MY STORIES COMBINED :)
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