FicWad

He was sitting on the cold tile of his bathroom floor, watching as the blade in his hand stained the floor red. His left arm had been the victim tonight, an innocent bystander attacked by his depression.

The sting of the wounds had long since faded. But yet, Dick was still there, sitting on the cold floor. He knew he had to get up. He had things to do, people to call...but he just couldn't move.

Dick tried to focus on the pain in his arm, but it was gone. The only thing that was real was gone. He glanced down at the cuts, there were seven of them. He knew this because he counted each one he made. This morning hadn't started off well for him, and he ended up cutting deeper than usual. They'd have to be bandaged before he left.

Dick let out a defeated sigh as he slowly dragged himself to his feet. He moved towards the sink and turned on the water. He let it run for a moment to warm up before sticking his arm underneath the water and rinsing away the blood. Even the water didn't bring any pain. Not even a little sting. He was numb, emotionally and physically. Just Numb.

He let his mind wander as he cleaned himself up. When was the last time he heard from any friends? When was the last time someone actually answered his calls?

A buzzing sound from the other room brought him back to reality. Turning off the faucet and wrapping his arm in a towel, he made his way towards his living room. The buzzing led him to his phone, hidden between the couch cushions.

He unlocked the device and looked at the notification. Maybe it was one of his friends? Maybe they needed something?

It was an old reminder he set. Said he needed to be at the Mountain by 11 am to update the computer.

He locked his phone, dropped it onto the couch, and glanced at the clock behind him. 10:47am. Dick let out a small huff and quickly bandaged his arm. He picked his suit up off the ground and quickly put it on. He ran to his bedroom and grabbed a spare burner phone from his dresser. Looking at the clock again, he climbed out the window and closed it. He didn't bother with the lock. He hadn't used it in weeks, and it's not like he had anything expensive to lose anyway.

He shimmied down the fire escape and dropped into the alley below. He glanced around for a bit, making sure he wasn't being followed, before heading to the nearest zeta tube. 10:57am.

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His name echoed throughout the mountain as he entered. He was greeted by silence. Nobody from the team came to say hello. He silently made his way toward the platform to open the computer. He didn't need to update much. Just run a brief scan for viruses and change a few passwords.

It'd been about fifteen minutes, give or take, before the team started to trickle into the room. Not that Nightwing was counting or anything. They probably just wanted to know what he was doing here. After all, he hadn't been to the cave in months. If they'd have answered their phones, they would've already known the answer.

Conner stepped forward in front of the group, fists balled up in anger, "What are you doing here?" he sneered, and for a second, Dick thought Conner would attack him.

Without looking up from the screen, Dick replied curtly, "I left fifteen messages. If you don't know why I'm here, then that's your own fault."

As he'd guessed, none of them liked his answer. Conner growled at him, Lagoon Boy glared, Impulse looked at his feet, and Meghan was looking everywhere except at him. But Robin, sweet, sweet Timmy. His little brother huffed and walked out of the room. What does that say about him that even his own little brother hated him?

Nightwing was expecting Conner to yell at him again. Yell about how he lied to them, how he didn't trust them. How he never trusted them to begin with. How he should have told them about his plan, and how he should have created a different one. Even blame him for Wally's death. But before Conner could open his mouth, Lagoon Boy spoke up.

"What are you even doing here Nightwing? Can't you see that nobody wants you here?" he raised his arm and gestured to the anger and hate-filled gazes of the team. "I mean, even Robin doesn't want to see you. Why don't you take the hint and just leave."

Nightwing stopped typing and shut down the computer. He felt frozen. He slowly turned and watched the team for a moment, his face devoid of any emotion, before he started to walk towards the zeta tubes. Passing the team without sparing them a single glance, he typed his destination into the zeta tube. He could hear the team turning to watch him, probably wondering why he didn't answer.

Nightwing wanted to answer, he really did. But he didn't know what to say. What did they want to hear? An apology? He'd already tried that and none of them would listen. Did they want him to explain? He'd already tried that too. The zeta beam was ready, all he had to do was walk into it. He turned to the team one last time and spoke.

"I guess this means you'll need to find someone else to fix your computers from now on. I've lived through enough to know when I'm not wanted anymore. And Robin, I hope you know I can see you hiding in the corner. If you have something to say to me...just say it." Nightwing paused and waited as Robin made his way to the group. With every step Robin took, Dick's heart pounded even harder in his chest. He never thought it was possible, but he felt his heart shatter at the words Tim spoke.

"You should've jumped after them...you should've fallen with them. Don't bother coming back to the Batcave either," he paused for a moment, "I changed the codes."

Dick was shocked. He never knew Tim could be so cruel. To say that he should've died with his parents...how does he reply to that? Dick could feel his emotions starting to rise. Anger, guilt, shame. But what he felt the most was...empty. He needed to leave, get back to his apartment. Get away from all the judging, hateful eyes of his former friends.

He turned sharply. "I understand," he added, and walked into the light, Robin's words playing on repeat in his head, and vanished.