Categories > Games > Kingdom Hearts > Sora Totally Gets Laid
Chapter 3: Sora Totally Gets Laid
Sora's dimly-lit room was an orgy of evidence that a teenager lives there. Empty soda cans, rock band posters, clothes and shoes thrown about, tissue paper strategically placed on the bedside table—these were the essentials. In addition to the sleeping teenager being dumped onto his own bed, there were two uncommon visitors in Sora's room.
"Pod," 2B reported, "the first half of the mission has been completed. Now I need you to walk me through what happens next."
Helpful as ever, Pod 042 replied, "In order to extract the subject's seed, proper stimulation of the genital-region is required. This will entail complete disrobement of the individual's clothing. Then—"
"Okay, okay—slow down," 2B commanded, reaching for Sora's jacket. "This might take some time."
"You could just cut through his clothing," the pod advised.
"That shouldn't…be…necessary!"
Removing Sora's clothing was a struggle to say the least, but one thing 2B did appreciate was his generous use of deodorant. Meanwhile, Pod 042 found it necessary to help out by pulling Sora's shoes off with its mechanical arms. One by one, 2B and Pod 042 stripped Sora down to nothing but his necklace, yanking off his belt, shirt, shorts, socks, and gloves. Once they removed his boxers, 2B couldn't help but pause for dramatic effect.
Pod 042 piped up, "That would be his dick."
"Yeah, I know that!" 2B shot back. "I've just never seen one up close before. Is it supposed to be darker than the rest of him? And what's up with that patch of hair?"
"The male penis is often a source of confusion amongst humans. This male has already entered puberty, signified by the presence of pubic hair and darkened pigmentation. Other commonly used terms for the penis include bird, boner, cock, cock-stick, diznick, fuck-wand, hairy-bone, Johnson, pecker, schlong—"
"Yeah, okay, I get it, pod!" 2B exclaimed, causing Sora to stir in his drug-induced slumber. After Sora went quiet again, 2B exhaled a sigh of relief and said, "Let's get down to business."
Now it was her turn to strip; while she hastily ripped off each article of her flamboyant outfit, she quickly commanded, "Pod, run a final diagnostic to make sure my parts are compatible with Sora's."
"It has already been confirmed. Further diagnostics would be unnecessary."
"Just do it!" 2B whisper-yelled, yanking both her gloves off. "I don't want to end up ripping this guy's 'cock-stick' off if we're not compatible."
The pod hovered directly in front of 2B's bikini-zone. "Running diagnostic…Compatibility for injury-free intercourse is one-hundred percent confirmed."
"Don't get smart," 2B growled, sliding her high-heel boots off. Ditching the pantyhose, she proceeded to shimmy out of her skirt dress. Now standing in only her white lingerie, she told the pod, "I can handle it from here. Go wait in the bathroom and shut up."
Floating over to the bathroom, the pod replied, "As you wish. Commencing voyeurism protocol."
"And turn off your camera!"
"Sorry, didn't hear you…"
Ignoring her pod, 2B turned her attention back to Sora's unconscious form. Hesitantly, she stepped forward and knelt beside his bed, checking out the flaccid manhood before her. Taking a deep breath, she—
"Alert: oral lubrication is strongly recommended."
"I said shut up, pod!" 2B was losing her wits.
Taking another deep breath, 2B removed her underwear and mounted the sleeping teenager. Sitting directly on his pelvis, 2B studied the warmth of his human flesh against that of her synthetic skin, noticing Sora flex visibly. She wasn't expecting this to be so reactive; already, her seat was taking up real estate. For a minute, she just watched him breathe, synchronizing hers to his. Curious, she pressed her hands against Sora's chest, studying the similarities between their soft epidermises. Her eyes widened at the feeling of shared heat, sensing it all through their legs and connected waistlines. Making friction south of the border, 2B reveled in how human she'd become, thanks to Sora. She couldn't explain why she was acting so illogically, and for a moment, she felt remorse for doing this to him.
How could she make it up to him?
Concentrating, 2B resituated herself in the reverse position, scooting backward to gain leverage over Sora's exposed member.
Then, she totally gave head.
Holding back her silver locks of hair, 2B treated Sora like royalty. No fold was left behind as she finessed her canvas, slicking everything that could possibly be labeled as manhood. Before she got carried away, 2B stopped to observe her work, noticing Sora's ding-a-ling looked different than before.
"Whoa—it got huge!" 2B remarked, gripping the base. "Pod, when does the seed come out?"
Speaking through her ear piece, Pod 042 informed her, "Further titillation is required. Be advised: in order to receive the firmware update correctly, the ejaculate must be absorbed within the clitoris."
"Duly noted," 2B replied. Checking on Sora, she found him still sleeping with her ass in his face.
So she kept giving head until Sora hardened enough to go throat-bound. It was at this point 2B noticed Sora's jewels had tightened at the base. Sensing the impending explosion, the silver-haired android halted in her fellatio to exclaim, "Oh, no you don't!"
Sliding her cooch back over Sora's meat-stick, 2B guided his mushroom tip into the base of her walls, finding difficulty in cramming the whole thing inside. Already seeing stars, 2B moaned as she attempted to bounce her way onto Sora's shaft. Realizing what she needed to do, 2B covered her mouth and commenced pushing down with all her might.
She let out a muffled scream from the sweet agony. Slowly but surely, Sora's rod finally made its way inside 2B's sweet walls. The synthetic tissue within 2B was not only welcoming, but courteously accepting to Sora's flesh, intensifying a deep feeling of passion within 2B's programming.
Riding him in the reverse position, she took this moment to lose herself in a brand new experience called "casual sex." She felt completely transformed, making the bed rock while running her hands through her hair; for whatever reason, she yanked off her headband and threw it to the floor.
"Pod," she started, short of breath, "has the subject spent his load, yet?"
"Negative. No seed confirmed."
"Hmph….good."
That's when Sora yawned.
Looking back in anticipation, 2B watched his sleeping form stretch out his arms once before resting his hands along the curves of her hips. Even while unconscious, Sora initiated some much-needed thrusting from the bottom, moving in sync to 2B's rhythm.
Feeling the rush of being in total control, 2B finally realized why human males love this activity so much. Even though she'd only seen a handful of pornos for reference, she may as well have been a goddamned professional the way she threw her head back and started the rodeo.
Sora's hands fell from her hips to the bed; that's when 2B, placed her hands over his for leverage, elevating her knees to get that cowgirl experience. Her temperature rose with each buck and bound, causing sweat to appear all along her back and front.
She felt the penetration go deeper, locking her in a petrified state of imbalanced movements. Randomly, her body started going through reactions, from her curling toes to her tingling spine. While her chest heaved and hips thrusted wildly, her knees buckled before extending either leg. All of this was accompanied by a poorly muffled scream of ecstasy.
Now it was beginning to become too much for 2B; steadily, she halted the hip-thrusts, dismounted, and simply lie on top of Sora, burying her face in his neck.
She exhaled, "That was unreal…"
"Huh…? Wha's goin' on…?"
Judging by Sora's confused words and jerky head movements, 2B inferred Sora was awake. Only now, she simply gave no fucks about it.
Sora didn't know how to begin to describe his current state of what-the-fuck. His head felt like a sandbag, his body was unusually hot, and he could swear he woke up with a naked person lying on top of him. Yeah, that person was still there. In fact…
"…You? The girl from the bar?"
Not even caring that she was busted, 2B's only response was to gaze up into Sora's face and kiss him. Sora was equally accepting of and flabbergasted by said kiss, letting his hands caress her back, which was definitely moist from the sweat.
After the kiss, Sora asked glumly, "Did I miss the deep dive?"
"No." She kissed him again. "You were there."
"Wait…tell me what happened—!"
2B placed a finger over Sora's lips, effectively hushing him. "Just let me take care of you, Sora."
Then, she totally sucked him off. Again.
Pod 042's voice resonated in 2B's earpiece once again, "Alert: the subject is dangerously close to—"
2B promptly removed her earpiece, throwing it atop her stack of clothing.
Meanwhile, Sora couldn't believe what was happening. "Oh-my-God…what is…why the…oh-fuck!"
Then, she stopped. Teasing him, she asked, "Did you like that?"
"I don't know how to answer that properly," Sora freely admitted, eyes rolling back.
Behold, 2B allowed passage of Sora's member between her breasts, stroking him with her cleavage while administering T.L.C. to his mushroom tip. That's when she noticed the pre-cum dripping.
Gasping, she asked, "Sora, are you about to come?"
Too zonked out for words, Sora simply nodded like a hand-puppet.
"Do me a favor and hold it," 2B commanded, repositioning her womanhood over his tip once again. This time facing her now-conscious lover for the night, 2B pushed down with slightly more ease than before, delighted by Sora's infinitely amusing facial expression, to say the least.
Once again, Sora and 2B started the sexy time, with the awakened warrior's hands returning to the slender soldier's chiseled hips. Inflamed with pleasure, both lovers closed their eyes and enjoyed the ride…
And then Sora felt his primal instincts kick-in. Slowly entering a threshold of pent-up aggression, Sora found himself lurching up to give it to 2B sitting-missionary-style; using one hand to support her back, Sora stared hard and cold into 2B's surprised eyes before dishing out some serious passion to the girl's neck. This caused 2B to scream louder than she did moments prior, even wrapping her legs around the primal creature's waistline.
And so it happened that they bonded in this position until 2B pulled Sora in for a warm embrace, caressing the back of his head while weeping, "Sora…how?"
Sora whispered back, "Get up."
Throwing his feet over the edge of the bed, Sora allowed 2B to stand up on the floor; Sora maneuvered behind her, bent her over, and played that ass doggy-style. Smacking her cheeks, Sora channeled his inner cowboy by working 2B's lavish derriere with extreme prejudice.
Longer, stronger, and harder than ever before, Sora had become so far from his original self, for a split second, he fretted he'd never be the same again.
Meanwhile, 2B was above and beyond the point of satisfaction. Feeling Sora penetrate deep within her secret place, the silver-haired soldier merely listened to the sound of her cheeks getting slammed from behind.
And she was totally into that shit.
They stopped briefly for a reverse kiss.
Then, they continued pounding skins.
2B leaned back over Sora's shoulder.
Sora claimed a breast.
2B reached back to dig her nails into Sora's hips.
Sora hit it like he couldn't miss.
2B was losing her mind.
Sora was losing his mind.
Right then and there, 2B grabbed Sora's thighs and instantly pushed his whole dick within her sacred walls, practically smothering her G-spot until she squeezed tight enough to make him blow his load deep within.
Mouths were O-shaped; eyes were dinner plates; awesome choices were made; and Sora was frozen in place.
2B's grayish blue eyes glowed suddenly. In an enigmatic tone, she stated, "Initializing firmware update."
Still frozen in place, Sora said in a low voice, "I feel…drained."
Looking over her shoulder, 2B was reminded of that remorseful feeling she had earlier in the night. Unable to leave him looking so pitiful, she held his face in her hands, deeply assuring him, "You're gonna be okay, Sora. Tonight…you were a true warrior, and…God, I think I love you!"
"You…love me, Too-Bee?" Sora repeated in his confusion.
Raising up on her tippy-toes to deliver one more kiss, 2B whispered, "I have to go now. Please, Sora…don't forget about me!"
And with that, she gathered all her clothes in a heap and ran buck-ass-naked out the door.
He couldn't just let her leave. Running after her, he yelled, "Too-Bee! Wait!"
Suddenly, he stopped in the doorway. Coming down the hallway in the opposite direction of 2B was a group of five teenagers freshly zonked out from a J-Pop concert. As 2B streaked past the bewildered group of teenagers, she yelled back at Sora, "You were amazing, Sora! I won't forget about you!"
And there Sora stood, naked and covering his junk in the doorway to his own room, in plain view of his friends from Destiny Islands. And there Sora's friends stood, each one perplexed by this sudden turn of events.
The first to speak was Riku. "HOLY SHIT—!"
The second to speak was Tidus. "YOU LITTLE DEVIL—!"
Third was Wakka. "BROOOOOOOOO!"
Among the three male friends who expressed their pride and excitement, Riku was the first to scurry over to Sora, flailing his arms and screeching, "DUDE, YOU'RE NAKED!"
Wakka was right behind him, hazing the unresponsive Keyblader, "Who said you could get laid, you son of a bastard, you!"
"Sora," Tidus came in, somehow short of breath, "did you hear what that smokin' hot naked chick just said about you?!"
Imitating 2B's voice, Riku replied, "Ooh, Sora! You were just so amazing! I loved fucking your brains out!"
Meanwhile, Selphie shouted over the chaos, "Hey, break it up! Give the guy some space, will ya?"
"Sora had a girl over?" Kairi said it aloud to help her believe it. "Wow…Sora really had a girl over…?"
Crowding around Sora in part to hide his nudity and also to absorb juicy details, Riku, Wakka, and Tidus continued to remain the opposite of chill about the situation.
"So how's it feel to not be a virgin anymore, champ?" Riku asked like a news reporter.
Just then, Pod 042 came drifting out Sora's room, notifying everyone, "Mission critical success. You have served Project YoRHa well. Farewell for now."
"The hell?" Tidus asked.
Next, Pod 042 aimed its cannon at the ceiling and shot a beam, creating a sizeable hole to escape through. And escape, it did.
Recalling something, Sora stated, "I remember she said something about making a strong ally out of her. And then I said my friends are my power…"
"Now it's official," Tidus interrupted. "Everyone standing in this hallway has lost their virginities!"
Sighing, Selphie reprimanded the blitzball player, "Tidus, you're being a total moron, right now!"
Finally shaken from his reverie, Sora repeated, "Everyone?"
"Everyone," Tidus assured.
"Even Kairi?" Sora wished he hadn't asked.
"Uh, yeah…about that," Riku started, leaning in close to whisper a crucial piece of information. "Way back when. The night the Heartless hit our island. Kairi let me tap that."
Sora equals shocked.
"RIKU!" Kairi's hearing was better than he remembered. "Why would you tell him that?!"
Riku winced. "Sorry, Sora. We were supposed to take that to our graves, but I figured you were ready to know the truth, now that you're bagging these slut-buckets like a real man."
Lightly punching Riku's shoulder, Wakka scorned, "Hey, no need to be a dick, bro."
Shaking his head, Riku concluded, "Anyway, I hope you're not mad."
Returning to that glazed look in the eyes, Sora shrugged and told everyone, "Look, you've given me a lot to think about on top of what just happened tonight. I've barely got a hold on my aggression issues, I was more-than-likely date-raped, and now I just found out my two best friends have been involved since Kingdom Hearts One. Guys, I need to pop a Seroquel and go to sleep. Goodnight."
And with that, Sora shut the door, popped that little yellow pill, and fell down naked on his bed. This isn't over.
"Yeah, this is far from over."
Sora's dimly-lit room was an orgy of evidence that a teenager lives there. Empty soda cans, rock band posters, clothes and shoes thrown about, tissue paper strategically placed on the bedside table—these were the essentials. In addition to the sleeping teenager being dumped onto his own bed, there were two uncommon visitors in Sora's room.
"Pod," 2B reported, "the first half of the mission has been completed. Now I need you to walk me through what happens next."
Helpful as ever, Pod 042 replied, "In order to extract the subject's seed, proper stimulation of the genital-region is required. This will entail complete disrobement of the individual's clothing. Then—"
"Okay, okay—slow down," 2B commanded, reaching for Sora's jacket. "This might take some time."
"You could just cut through his clothing," the pod advised.
"That shouldn't…be…necessary!"
Removing Sora's clothing was a struggle to say the least, but one thing 2B did appreciate was his generous use of deodorant. Meanwhile, Pod 042 found it necessary to help out by pulling Sora's shoes off with its mechanical arms. One by one, 2B and Pod 042 stripped Sora down to nothing but his necklace, yanking off his belt, shirt, shorts, socks, and gloves. Once they removed his boxers, 2B couldn't help but pause for dramatic effect.
Pod 042 piped up, "That would be his dick."
"Yeah, I know that!" 2B shot back. "I've just never seen one up close before. Is it supposed to be darker than the rest of him? And what's up with that patch of hair?"
"The male penis is often a source of confusion amongst humans. This male has already entered puberty, signified by the presence of pubic hair and darkened pigmentation. Other commonly used terms for the penis include bird, boner, cock, cock-stick, diznick, fuck-wand, hairy-bone, Johnson, pecker, schlong—"
"Yeah, okay, I get it, pod!" 2B exclaimed, causing Sora to stir in his drug-induced slumber. After Sora went quiet again, 2B exhaled a sigh of relief and said, "Let's get down to business."
Now it was her turn to strip; while she hastily ripped off each article of her flamboyant outfit, she quickly commanded, "Pod, run a final diagnostic to make sure my parts are compatible with Sora's."
"It has already been confirmed. Further diagnostics would be unnecessary."
"Just do it!" 2B whisper-yelled, yanking both her gloves off. "I don't want to end up ripping this guy's 'cock-stick' off if we're not compatible."
The pod hovered directly in front of 2B's bikini-zone. "Running diagnostic…Compatibility for injury-free intercourse is one-hundred percent confirmed."
"Don't get smart," 2B growled, sliding her high-heel boots off. Ditching the pantyhose, she proceeded to shimmy out of her skirt dress. Now standing in only her white lingerie, she told the pod, "I can handle it from here. Go wait in the bathroom and shut up."
Floating over to the bathroom, the pod replied, "As you wish. Commencing voyeurism protocol."
"And turn off your camera!"
"Sorry, didn't hear you…"
Ignoring her pod, 2B turned her attention back to Sora's unconscious form. Hesitantly, she stepped forward and knelt beside his bed, checking out the flaccid manhood before her. Taking a deep breath, she—
"Alert: oral lubrication is strongly recommended."
"I said shut up, pod!" 2B was losing her wits.
Taking another deep breath, 2B removed her underwear and mounted the sleeping teenager. Sitting directly on his pelvis, 2B studied the warmth of his human flesh against that of her synthetic skin, noticing Sora flex visibly. She wasn't expecting this to be so reactive; already, her seat was taking up real estate. For a minute, she just watched him breathe, synchronizing hers to his. Curious, she pressed her hands against Sora's chest, studying the similarities between their soft epidermises. Her eyes widened at the feeling of shared heat, sensing it all through their legs and connected waistlines. Making friction south of the border, 2B reveled in how human she'd become, thanks to Sora. She couldn't explain why she was acting so illogically, and for a moment, she felt remorse for doing this to him.
How could she make it up to him?
Concentrating, 2B resituated herself in the reverse position, scooting backward to gain leverage over Sora's exposed member.
Then, she totally gave head.
Holding back her silver locks of hair, 2B treated Sora like royalty. No fold was left behind as she finessed her canvas, slicking everything that could possibly be labeled as manhood. Before she got carried away, 2B stopped to observe her work, noticing Sora's ding-a-ling looked different than before.
"Whoa—it got huge!" 2B remarked, gripping the base. "Pod, when does the seed come out?"
Speaking through her ear piece, Pod 042 informed her, "Further titillation is required. Be advised: in order to receive the firmware update correctly, the ejaculate must be absorbed within the clitoris."
"Duly noted," 2B replied. Checking on Sora, she found him still sleeping with her ass in his face.
So she kept giving head until Sora hardened enough to go throat-bound. It was at this point 2B noticed Sora's jewels had tightened at the base. Sensing the impending explosion, the silver-haired android halted in her fellatio to exclaim, "Oh, no you don't!"
Sliding her cooch back over Sora's meat-stick, 2B guided his mushroom tip into the base of her walls, finding difficulty in cramming the whole thing inside. Already seeing stars, 2B moaned as she attempted to bounce her way onto Sora's shaft. Realizing what she needed to do, 2B covered her mouth and commenced pushing down with all her might.
She let out a muffled scream from the sweet agony. Slowly but surely, Sora's rod finally made its way inside 2B's sweet walls. The synthetic tissue within 2B was not only welcoming, but courteously accepting to Sora's flesh, intensifying a deep feeling of passion within 2B's programming.
Riding him in the reverse position, she took this moment to lose herself in a brand new experience called "casual sex." She felt completely transformed, making the bed rock while running her hands through her hair; for whatever reason, she yanked off her headband and threw it to the floor.
"Pod," she started, short of breath, "has the subject spent his load, yet?"
"Negative. No seed confirmed."
"Hmph….good."
That's when Sora yawned.
Looking back in anticipation, 2B watched his sleeping form stretch out his arms once before resting his hands along the curves of her hips. Even while unconscious, Sora initiated some much-needed thrusting from the bottom, moving in sync to 2B's rhythm.
Feeling the rush of being in total control, 2B finally realized why human males love this activity so much. Even though she'd only seen a handful of pornos for reference, she may as well have been a goddamned professional the way she threw her head back and started the rodeo.
Sora's hands fell from her hips to the bed; that's when 2B, placed her hands over his for leverage, elevating her knees to get that cowgirl experience. Her temperature rose with each buck and bound, causing sweat to appear all along her back and front.
She felt the penetration go deeper, locking her in a petrified state of imbalanced movements. Randomly, her body started going through reactions, from her curling toes to her tingling spine. While her chest heaved and hips thrusted wildly, her knees buckled before extending either leg. All of this was accompanied by a poorly muffled scream of ecstasy.
Now it was beginning to become too much for 2B; steadily, she halted the hip-thrusts, dismounted, and simply lie on top of Sora, burying her face in his neck.
She exhaled, "That was unreal…"
"Huh…? Wha's goin' on…?"
Judging by Sora's confused words and jerky head movements, 2B inferred Sora was awake. Only now, she simply gave no fucks about it.
Sora didn't know how to begin to describe his current state of what-the-fuck. His head felt like a sandbag, his body was unusually hot, and he could swear he woke up with a naked person lying on top of him. Yeah, that person was still there. In fact…
"…You? The girl from the bar?"
Not even caring that she was busted, 2B's only response was to gaze up into Sora's face and kiss him. Sora was equally accepting of and flabbergasted by said kiss, letting his hands caress her back, which was definitely moist from the sweat.
After the kiss, Sora asked glumly, "Did I miss the deep dive?"
"No." She kissed him again. "You were there."
"Wait…tell me what happened—!"
2B placed a finger over Sora's lips, effectively hushing him. "Just let me take care of you, Sora."
Then, she totally sucked him off. Again.
Pod 042's voice resonated in 2B's earpiece once again, "Alert: the subject is dangerously close to—"
2B promptly removed her earpiece, throwing it atop her stack of clothing.
Meanwhile, Sora couldn't believe what was happening. "Oh-my-God…what is…why the…oh-fuck!"
Then, she stopped. Teasing him, she asked, "Did you like that?"
"I don't know how to answer that properly," Sora freely admitted, eyes rolling back.
Behold, 2B allowed passage of Sora's member between her breasts, stroking him with her cleavage while administering T.L.C. to his mushroom tip. That's when she noticed the pre-cum dripping.
Gasping, she asked, "Sora, are you about to come?"
Too zonked out for words, Sora simply nodded like a hand-puppet.
"Do me a favor and hold it," 2B commanded, repositioning her womanhood over his tip once again. This time facing her now-conscious lover for the night, 2B pushed down with slightly more ease than before, delighted by Sora's infinitely amusing facial expression, to say the least.
Once again, Sora and 2B started the sexy time, with the awakened warrior's hands returning to the slender soldier's chiseled hips. Inflamed with pleasure, both lovers closed their eyes and enjoyed the ride…
And then Sora felt his primal instincts kick-in. Slowly entering a threshold of pent-up aggression, Sora found himself lurching up to give it to 2B sitting-missionary-style; using one hand to support her back, Sora stared hard and cold into 2B's surprised eyes before dishing out some serious passion to the girl's neck. This caused 2B to scream louder than she did moments prior, even wrapping her legs around the primal creature's waistline.
And so it happened that they bonded in this position until 2B pulled Sora in for a warm embrace, caressing the back of his head while weeping, "Sora…how?"
Sora whispered back, "Get up."
Throwing his feet over the edge of the bed, Sora allowed 2B to stand up on the floor; Sora maneuvered behind her, bent her over, and played that ass doggy-style. Smacking her cheeks, Sora channeled his inner cowboy by working 2B's lavish derriere with extreme prejudice.
Longer, stronger, and harder than ever before, Sora had become so far from his original self, for a split second, he fretted he'd never be the same again.
Meanwhile, 2B was above and beyond the point of satisfaction. Feeling Sora penetrate deep within her secret place, the silver-haired soldier merely listened to the sound of her cheeks getting slammed from behind.
And she was totally into that shit.
They stopped briefly for a reverse kiss.
Then, they continued pounding skins.
2B leaned back over Sora's shoulder.
Sora claimed a breast.
2B reached back to dig her nails into Sora's hips.
Sora hit it like he couldn't miss.
2B was losing her mind.
Sora was losing his mind.
Right then and there, 2B grabbed Sora's thighs and instantly pushed his whole dick within her sacred walls, practically smothering her G-spot until she squeezed tight enough to make him blow his load deep within.
Mouths were O-shaped; eyes were dinner plates; awesome choices were made; and Sora was frozen in place.
2B's grayish blue eyes glowed suddenly. In an enigmatic tone, she stated, "Initializing firmware update."
Still frozen in place, Sora said in a low voice, "I feel…drained."
Looking over her shoulder, 2B was reminded of that remorseful feeling she had earlier in the night. Unable to leave him looking so pitiful, she held his face in her hands, deeply assuring him, "You're gonna be okay, Sora. Tonight…you were a true warrior, and…God, I think I love you!"
"You…love me, Too-Bee?" Sora repeated in his confusion.
Raising up on her tippy-toes to deliver one more kiss, 2B whispered, "I have to go now. Please, Sora…don't forget about me!"
And with that, she gathered all her clothes in a heap and ran buck-ass-naked out the door.
He couldn't just let her leave. Running after her, he yelled, "Too-Bee! Wait!"
Suddenly, he stopped in the doorway. Coming down the hallway in the opposite direction of 2B was a group of five teenagers freshly zonked out from a J-Pop concert. As 2B streaked past the bewildered group of teenagers, she yelled back at Sora, "You were amazing, Sora! I won't forget about you!"
And there Sora stood, naked and covering his junk in the doorway to his own room, in plain view of his friends from Destiny Islands. And there Sora's friends stood, each one perplexed by this sudden turn of events.
The first to speak was Riku. "HOLY SHIT—!"
The second to speak was Tidus. "YOU LITTLE DEVIL—!"
Third was Wakka. "BROOOOOOOOO!"
Among the three male friends who expressed their pride and excitement, Riku was the first to scurry over to Sora, flailing his arms and screeching, "DUDE, YOU'RE NAKED!"
Wakka was right behind him, hazing the unresponsive Keyblader, "Who said you could get laid, you son of a bastard, you!"
"Sora," Tidus came in, somehow short of breath, "did you hear what that smokin' hot naked chick just said about you?!"
Imitating 2B's voice, Riku replied, "Ooh, Sora! You were just so amazing! I loved fucking your brains out!"
Meanwhile, Selphie shouted over the chaos, "Hey, break it up! Give the guy some space, will ya?"
"Sora had a girl over?" Kairi said it aloud to help her believe it. "Wow…Sora really had a girl over…?"
Crowding around Sora in part to hide his nudity and also to absorb juicy details, Riku, Wakka, and Tidus continued to remain the opposite of chill about the situation.
"So how's it feel to not be a virgin anymore, champ?" Riku asked like a news reporter.
Just then, Pod 042 came drifting out Sora's room, notifying everyone, "Mission critical success. You have served Project YoRHa well. Farewell for now."
"The hell?" Tidus asked.
Next, Pod 042 aimed its cannon at the ceiling and shot a beam, creating a sizeable hole to escape through. And escape, it did.
Recalling something, Sora stated, "I remember she said something about making a strong ally out of her. And then I said my friends are my power…"
"Now it's official," Tidus interrupted. "Everyone standing in this hallway has lost their virginities!"
Sighing, Selphie reprimanded the blitzball player, "Tidus, you're being a total moron, right now!"
Finally shaken from his reverie, Sora repeated, "Everyone?"
"Everyone," Tidus assured.
"Even Kairi?" Sora wished he hadn't asked.
"Uh, yeah…about that," Riku started, leaning in close to whisper a crucial piece of information. "Way back when. The night the Heartless hit our island. Kairi let me tap that."
Sora equals shocked.
"RIKU!" Kairi's hearing was better than he remembered. "Why would you tell him that?!"
Riku winced. "Sorry, Sora. We were supposed to take that to our graves, but I figured you were ready to know the truth, now that you're bagging these slut-buckets like a real man."
Lightly punching Riku's shoulder, Wakka scorned, "Hey, no need to be a dick, bro."
Shaking his head, Riku concluded, "Anyway, I hope you're not mad."
Returning to that glazed look in the eyes, Sora shrugged and told everyone, "Look, you've given me a lot to think about on top of what just happened tonight. I've barely got a hold on my aggression issues, I was more-than-likely date-raped, and now I just found out my two best friends have been involved since Kingdom Hearts One. Guys, I need to pop a Seroquel and go to sleep. Goodnight."
And with that, Sora shut the door, popped that little yellow pill, and fell down naked on his bed. This isn't over.
"Yeah, this is far from over."
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