Categories > Games > Kingdom Hearts > Sora Totally Gets Laid

Walk

by CaleelJamesWhite 0 reviews

Chapter 4

Category: Kingdom Hearts - Rating: R - Genres: Crossover,Humor,Romance - Characters: Sora - Published: 2017-12-22 - 2416 words

0Unrated
Chapter 4: Walk

2B meant every word she yelled down that hallway. She barely made it to the elevator, darting inside and sliding to the floor. Hugging her clothes tight, she closed her eyes and pictured Sora's smile. Inevitably, that smile faded into that sad, drained look she left him with.

"What have I done?" 2B buried her face in her clothing.

Suddenly, the elevator stopped at the eighth floor. Vanille, from Final Fantasy XIII, walked in, confirming the first floor was selected. Noticing the nude girl curled up in the corner, Vanille exclaimed, "Oh, my! Who knew it was Naked Day?"

The elevator reached the first floor, opening up to reveal Vanille and 2B, both nude and exiting the elevator. Jumping up and down whilst clinging to 2B's shoulders, Vanille urged, "C'mon! Let's play leapfrog!"

"Please go away," 2B requested, too glum to wield her katana.

Huffing, the pink-haired villager replied, "You're no fun. Oh, well. Better do some cartwheels in traffic."

As the other naked chick did cartwheels out the door, 2B also exited the building, though with far less enthusiasm. Looking up into the night sky, she spotted her pod zipping downward from the top floor, where it presumably blasted a hole.

"Hey, Pod," 2B greeted in a small voice.

"Greetings. Congratulations on your successful endeavor to extract heroic ejaculate." Throwing up its mechanical arms, the little machine admitted, "Now I know what you mean when you say I'm too descriptive."

"It's okay, Pod." 2B shrugged. "Let's just get back to home base."

"Alert: you're still…well, you do know you're naked, right?"

"Oh, right." Suddenly tossing her clothes in the air, 2B jumped like an acrobat, flipping and slipping into every piece of airborne clothing before falling back down, fully clothed and blindfolded. Taking the lead, 2B commanded, "Let's get going."

Pod 042 voiced his astonishment, "The new firmware update suits you well, YoRHa 2, Type B."

-X-

The concert was sold out and jam-packed; stadium seats were flooded with fans of all ages. This sort of turnout was to be expected when Sorvana came in to town.

Taking the stage, Sora, Stitch, and Genie were ready to rock. Strumming a familiar piece on his guitar, Sora approached the microphone and sang, "Come…as you are…as you were…"

The crowd went nuts from that first lyric, so much so that the girls in the front row exposed their tits to symbolize their appreciation. Sora stopped playing his song and gawked at the tits. Stitch and Genie were annoyed with Sora, the latter of whom teasing, "C'mon, Sora! Ain't ya ever seen D-cups before? Let's rock!"

"Maga-saka, mm-mm, titties!" Stitch added, kissing air and making grabbing motions.

"D-cups? Those are two B's at most," Sora corrected. Suddenly, his voice echoed all around the stage, "Those are two B's…two-B's…Too-Bees…"

Sora turned back to the girls, noticing they were all 2B now. In fact, every single person in attendance was now a blindfolded samurai girl, cheering and showing off their chest-bumps.

That's when Sora's fever dream turned into a serious nightmare; every single 2B in attendance drew their katana and rushed the stage, each of them foaming at the mouth. Looking at his bandmates for backup, Sora rejoiced seeing them still with him.

"Oops, drive-gauge just went empty," Genie stated. "See ya, Sora!"

So then Stitch and Genie left Sora there to get hacked to pieces by the topless 2B army, but it wasn't done there. In literal pieces on the ground, the bits of Sora that made his face glanced up and noticed he was in the Secret Place back on their play island.

Suddenly, he turned to see two other people standing whole. It was Riku and Kairi. Now the nightmare was looking more familiar.

"I don't think we should do this anymore, Riku…"

"But you just said you were ready. C'mon, this is normal…"

"I guess…"

Sora shot up from his disturbed slumber. Breathing long and drawn out, he was still speechless from the revelations last night, and that dream of naked samurais certainly didn't help. But the part about Riku and Kairi was the worst. He seriously hoped that was just a detailed machination of his imagination.

Finding his clothes on the floor, Sora silently dressed himself and glanced at the time. It was barely seven in the morning. Good, he could escape the dormitory while everyone was still sleeping in.

After strapping his boots on, he took a moment to breathe out a sigh of fuck-all. So that was sex. He'd grabbed Terra Branford's boob before, and even made out with her at a party once, but as far as getting laid goes, 2B was his first. And it was totally on accident. She wanted something from him the moment they spoke. Whatever it was, she got it and left Sora. He couldn't say he had a lot of feelings for the girl, but there was something noticeably special about their bond at the bar. Thinking back on it, he figured their entire interaction broke those unspoken rules of flirting and hooking up. After all, she had approached him.

But wait. Sora was the one who spoke up first. Yeah, his pickup line was unorthodox to say the least, but he kept her talking. It turns out, the best way to get laid is to not even try. Who knew?

Right before his memory started getting fuzzy, Sora remembered how he'd made her laugh out loud. And then they started walking back to his place, and he swears he saw Cid get chopped in half. Then, after a walk that involved a few face-plants, Sora remembered waking up with girl on top of him.

Rubbing his eyes, he whined, "Aw…why did it have to feel so soft?"

Something on the floor grabbed his attention. It was a black headband.

"This must be 2B's," Sora observed, placing it on his dresser.

His cellphone buzzed.

"Twenty-nine new followers?" Sora read that twice. "Wait…twenty-nine followers, new ones? These are all people from the bar…"

Sora briefly remembered tons of cheering and chanting. That explains it.

"Wow. This whole time, I thought Quasimodo was already following me."

-X-

Taking a stroll outside, Sora was having a hard time deciding what to do with his day off. Unable to decide, he settled for walking around Squeenix Headquarters, hoping to be left alone. However, as he neared the Crystal Dynamics subdivision, he quickly realized that wasn't happening.

"Yo, Sora!" Prompto came rushing up on him. "Dude, lemme just see the look on your face!"

Stopping to give a wry smile, Sora greeted, "What's up, Prompto."

"Yeah, you totally got laid," Prompto confirmed, typing away into his cellphone. "I just had to make sure Riku wasn't bullshitting."

"Yeah, uh-huh, thanks for the follow on Kweh."

"No problemo, amigo!" Prompto replied. "So who was that chick?"

Frustrated, Sora responded heatedly, "Look, all I know is that her name is Too-Bee, okay! I don't what she wanted from me or why, but she got it!" Sighing, he admitted, "I don't even know what game she's from."

"Aw…" Prompto was sympathetic. "It's okay, dude. Lotsa fish in the sea. Just learn from it and move on."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Of course, I am. Now, what's your secret to getting hot chicks…like that one?" The blonde royal companion pointed to a certain young lance-wielder out in front of her townhome. It was Fang from Final Fantasy XIII, in the middle of bathing her Chocobo.

Sighing irritably, Sora retorted, "Just mistake her for a man."

As Sora walked off, Prompto snapped his fingers, seeing the genius like a holy light. "Why didn't I think of that? Hey, MAN! BRO, what's your name, DUDE?"

Sora continued walking, drifting past large sections of Squeenix's property. After walking through the Crystal Dynamics neighborhood, he waltzed past the Chinese harbor of United Front Games, slums of Eidos Montréal, tropical metropolis of Avalanche Studios, and finally the shanty-town of Taito Corporation.

All along the way, he kept getting beeps from his cellphone, letting him know someone new had followed him on Kweh. Every now and then, he'd get the occasional call from Riku or Tidus begging him to hang out, but all Sora could say was, "No thanks, I need time to myself."

After his legs were good and worn out, Sora began making his way back to his part of town. He took a shortcut through a neighborhood still under construction, made official by a sign that read, "Coming Soon: PlatinumGames!"

-X-

By the time Sora returned, it was about as dark as he was exhausted, which was what he had planned. Entering the courtyard, he plopped down on the edge of a fountain and gazed up at the constellations. Every time he saw those stars above, he got this deviant urge to sneak out of Squeenix Headquarters and do some sight-seeing. If he did choose to act on it, it wouldn't be the first time.

"Sora, what are you doing here?"

For once, he heard a voice that didn't make his nerves implode. Looking around the fountain's edge, he spotted the blue-haired woman approaching, alone.

"Oh, just dealing with a boring chapter of my life," Sora answered, unapologetically telling the truth about this chapter. "What about you? I don't think I've ever seen you by yourself."

"Please tell me that was a mean joke," Aqua replied cynically.

"Why would I joke about that?" Sora asked, but soon found the answer. "Well, ya know, I meant besides the whole 'Realm of Darkness' thing."

"Mind if I sit?" she asked.

Sora stupidly replied, "Yeah, sure!"

Confused, Aqua asked, "Wait…you do?"

"Do what?" More confusion.

"Do you mind if I sit down?"

"I said, 'Yeah, you can sit.' I don't know what I'm supposed to mind."

"No, smart-aleck, if you mind something—you know what? I'm gonna sit down now." And so, she did.

Sora took note of her casual hoodie and biker shorts combo, commenting, "You took the night off, too, huh?"

"Yeah," Aqua responded with sigh. "Terra's off trying to win a race in Nintendo. Ventus found a new hobby or something. And all my girlfriends went to the casino, but I stayed because I really hate gambling."

"So instead of winning big bucks, maybe, you're out here talking to me?" Sora jested, "I'd say you broke even."

Aqua chuckled, "Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. So when are you gonna talk about your little hookup last night?"

"What a surprise. You know about it."

"I know everything," Aqua boasted. "Well, except for the real story. Riku and his gang keep hyping it up like you had her screaming your name or something…"

"Well, yeah, that did happen," Sora stated bluntly. "But I bet they didn't tell you I technically got date-raped."

Gasping, Aqua stared deep into Sora's eyes, exclaiming, "You're kidding!"

"Not even. I barely remember walking home with that girl. I just remember waking up with this sweaty naked chick on me, and then it got real crazy after that—I mean, real crazy!"

"Oh, but you wanted it, right?" Aqua asked, angling all her attention towards Sora.

"What? Well, I mean, yeah, I started putting it in and taking it out, if that's what you mean."

Laughing out loud, Aqua replied, "That means you wanted it. What kinda girl drugs a perfectly straight guy to get him into bed? It's bizarre."

"Yeah, she was different," Sora stated candidly. "But, honestly, I wasn't trying to get her into bed when we met. Maybe she sensed that and felt the need to take my freewill out of the equation."

"Yeah, it's possible," Aqua muttered, disbelievingly of that first part.

"I never even asked what game she's from. And she left her headband in my room."

"Like a souvenir. What's her name?"

"She told me 'Too-Bee.'"

"Like 2B, the samurai girl? Her full name's YoRHa No. 2 Type B. I know what game she's from, too."

Staring incredulously, Sora pled, "Really? What game?"

"Some action title called Nier that's not even out yet. Also, don't freak out, but I'm fairly certain that girl is mostly an android."

Tilting his head in confusion, Sora remarked, "I had sex with a robot?"

Nodding her head, Aqua answered, "Seems that way."

"Ah, well. I can't imagine my reputation will take a hit from that fact alone. As of right now, I have…two hundred and thirty-two new followers since last night."

"Wow! Looks like you're blowing up." Remembering something, Aqua whipped out her own phone and said, "That reminds me. Quasimodo sent out an invite over Kupo+."

Sora glanced at the invite. "It's a 'Two-Point-Eight Launch Party'? 'Anyone who's halfway important in the upcoming 2.8 collection is invited at no charge. Come take a scenic boat ride to the Lakefront Resort and party the night away'—what the heck? Is Quasimodo for real?"

"Yep, launch day's in two days," Aqua informed. "I already know—it's a ridiculous excuse to throw a party, but still, Quasi got reservations at the Lakefront Resort. I hear it's a nice place, and I've got nothing going on that night—"

"You want me to come with you, don't you?" Sora interrupted. "Damn. I don't see why not."

Aqua blushed. "I'm not gonna force you to come, Sora. But I will say this, Squeenix authorities won't be watching that party, so if you ever wanted to get drunk, that'd be the night."

"Damn. Way to sweeten the deal."

Shooting up to her feet, Aqua concluded the conversation, "Then it's settled. I'll see you here in four days. Don't be late for the ferry ride, Sora!"

"Heh," Sora grumbled, watching her walk away. Alone again, he stared up into the night sky, listening to the sound of the pouring fountain behind him. He briefly wondered what a lakefront resort is supposed to look like. There was probably a lake of some sort, next to a front…

Sighing, Sora summed up the moral of this story in just one sentence, "I should just stop worrying about the future."

-X-

A/N: "Kweher" sounded like "queer," so I changed it to just "Kweh."

Again, this is far from over. Thanks to the crazy direction this story goes, we must conclude this segment and begin anew in the "Game X-overs" section. People from Capcom, Konami, Marvel, and Naughty Dog get in on the action. Do you know what that means? That means Sora Must Die!
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