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Chapter 2: 2B, or Not 2B

Yeah, that chapter title didn't take much effort.

Anyway, sailing across the dark, heavenly depths of outer space, the compact Gummi ship zeroed in on Square Enix Headquarters. Entering the atmosphere, Sora noticed the sky didn't get any brighter, figuring it was already nighttime.

Flying high above numerous Square-owned buildings, like dormitories, apartments, hotels, and even some suburbs, Sora guided his vessel over to a brightly lit parking garage, zooming inside and quickly locating a vacant spot. After backing in like a seasoned driver, Sora popped the keys and hopped out the space-whip, noticing he'd parked next to Cloud Strife's custom motorcycle.

Sora whistled. "Someday, Fenrir. Someday."

After a short trek out of the garage and through a dark courtyard, Sora entered the front doors of his towering humble abode; the aptly-named Destiny Dormitory stood thirteen stories tall, split into two separate wings, both of which housed heroes, villains, and NPC's (Non-Playable Characters) alike.

Sora made his way through the lobby, past some excited strangers heading out for the night, inside an elevator, and all the way up to the top floor, where his room resided at the end of the hallway as the second-to-last room on the left. Unlocking his door with his magic weapon, Sora finally retired to his slightly unkempt living quarters.

He crossed his arms, glancing at a PaRappa the Rapper poster on the wall. Half-smiling, he mumbled, "Hatsune Miku, eh? Oh, well."

He ripped his clothes off and started the shower; with a pep in his naked-ass step, he hopped into a portable paradise.

-X-

Helpful as ever, 2B's airborne pod unit gave its analysis on the situation, "Destination verified. We are standing outside the popular tavern known as the Seventh Heaven. Awaiting further orders."

Scanning the area through her black visor, 2B replied, "Just follow me inside and stay hidden in the rafters. When I give the signal, deposit the knock-out agent into the target's beverage."

"Alert: presence of warriors is disproportional to the amount of extractable light detected," Pod 042 informed.

"Doesn't matter," said 2B. "If I have to extract light from twenty of these so-called warriors, then I'll do it."

"Alert: permission to record video clips?"

"No."

"Alert: what about pictures?"

"…Maybe. Initiating the mission."

2B entered the Seventh Heaven tavern, being greeted by the smell of booze, cigar-smoke, and hair gel. Her pod assistant zipped to the ceiling in a blur, hiding in the shadows of the rafters. Strolling past numerous male patrons who couldn't help but stop and gawk, 2B situated herself at the bar, a move she had learned while investigating Smokin' Hot Chick Protocol 101.

"Hey, there," Tifa, the longtime bartender greeted her. "I'd start you off with something, but I think someone else will take care of you…"

Briefly puzzled by Tifa's premonition, 2B suddenly heard the pod's voice in her hidden ear piece, "Alert: human with inadequate light inbound to your position."

Smiling at Tifa, 2B responded, "Let's see what he's got."

Sliding into the bar stool on 2B's right, none other than Zidane Tribal of Final Fantasy IX graced her presence. Sitting with an elbow on the bar and his crotch facing the android girl, Zidane gave a suave smile before spitting some serious game, "Damn, baby! You must be an arsonist! Don't you know walking in like that is a goddamn fire-hazard?"

Ignoring that statement, 2B greeted the small-but-confident monkey boy, "Hello, there. Care to buy me a drink?"

"Oh, certainly—where are my manners? My name's Zidane Tribal." Winking at Tifa, Zidane requested, "One shot of the usual, sweetness!"

"Really, Zidane? A shot?" Tifa teased. "I believe she asked for a drink, not a shot of your specially made poison."

"Who doesn't like Vodka and Whiskey?" Zidane asked in disbelief. "Fine. How 'bout a mimosa for the lady? What's your name, sweetheart?"

"2B," she answered, shaking his hand.

"2B? The Too-Beautiful Babe with a Blindfold—mm-mm!" While Zidane advanced in his game plan to score in some way, 2B used her high-tech blindfold to commence a diagnostic of the potential donor's vitals. "You know, I love a mysterious woman, 2B. Who knew a blindfold could be so sexy! In fact, I've gotta lotta secrets myself…"

The pod's artificial voice notified 2B through her hidden ear piece, "Be advised: the light of the current target shrinks the more he speaks to you."

"You don't say," 2B replied to both pod and patron.

"Oh yeah, I've gotta secret island, with a secret mansion, and a secret water bed in that mansion. Yeah, it's kinda tacky, but I need it for my back. What about you, Too-Beautiful? Ever been in a water-bed?"

"Come with me outside," 2B said, shutting down her diagnostic. Grabbing Zidane's hand and leading him away from the bar, she added, "I want to show you something."

Looking like he just hit the lotto, Zidane beamed and said, "I am right behind you…sweet-cheeks!"

Leading him outside, 2B walked him around the tavern's rear side, a dark and secluded area of the night. She stopped in front of a dumpster, somehow prompting Zidane to lift her mini-skirt and say, "Ooh, by the dumpster! So you like it romantic!"

Taking Zidane by the wrist and throwing his whole arm into a chokehold around his own neck, 2B asked discreetly, "Where can I find some warriors of light?"

"Warriors of what? Is that some kind of safe-word?" Zidane asked in a panic.

"Warriors of light," 2B repeated impatiently. "Do you know of any, or not?"

"Babe, I'm just tryna get my dick wet—let me cop a feel, at least!"

"Screw this."

Her katana flashed into existence; drawing it from the holster on her back, 2B proceeded to impale Zidane through the heart from behind.

Watching the bloodied blade protrude from his chest, Zidane screeched once before gagging on his words, "I…I don't even know why I have such a hard-on, right now!"

"Goodbye."

2B made quick work of tossing Zidane's body into the dumpster, where he mumbled in what must have been absolute anguish, "Man down."

"Thanks for the mimosa," 2B said before taking her leave.

Briskly making her reentrance into the tavern, 2B reclaimed her bar stool and sipped on her glass. That's when Tifa approached her with a cautious look, asking, "He's dead, isn't he?"

"Monkey-boy? He took a hike. Also, I hope it's trash night."

-X-

Walking tall and proud down the streets of whatever new Midgar town was in Advent Children (Edge, or something, right?), Sora made the mistake of checking his Kweh account on his cell phone. (Yeah, it's a Twitter clone.)

"Wow…I don't even know half the people I follow. Time for a change!" Behold, Sora began unfollowing any Kweher name that didn't ring a bell. He saved names like Alladin and Zack Fair but made sure to chop off names like Sion Barzhad, Yoshi, Pikachu…Travis Touchdown, Sub-Zero, Iron Man…Wario, Ms. Pac-Man, Bayonetta—he didn't know tits for dick about these people, other than their compulsive need to Kweh something at indiscriminate points in the day. With little to no interest in these things being Kwehed at random, Sora found his following counter a fraction of what his used to be.

Satisfied, Sora entered the Seventh Heaven tavern wearing his usual KH2 attire, strutting like hot stuff over to the bar area. Taking a seat with two empty spots on either side of him, Sora smiled and greeted the bartender, "Long time no see, Tifa!"

Doing a double-take, Tifa acknowledged Sora as if he were celebrity-material. "Sora! I was beginning to think you were cheating on me!"

"Please, you know those other bartenders don't know me like you do," Sora quipped.

"Yeah, I knew you couldn't resist my charm," Tifa said, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Between working all the time and slaying Heartless, I really haven't had much time for R&R."

"Well, you just relax while I get your usual mix ready, 'kay hon'?"

Listening to the sounds of zealous patrons, billiards and pool sticks, tap machines running, and even some toilets flushing, Sora lost himself in the smoky, alcohol-fueled atmosphere. It was just another Saturday night.

-X-

"I'm guessing you don't know any warriors of light, either, Mr. Cid?" 2B asked, keeping Cid pinned on the floor of the ladies' bathroom in a stranglehold.

Straining under the android woman's superhuman force, Cid from Final Fantasy VII grumbled, "Sheesh, darling, haven't you heard of Google? Online dating? Anything but this crazy shit?"

Suddenly, the pod's artificial voice buzzed in her earpiece, "Alert: human with unrecognizable light levels has entered the tavern. Strategic action strongly recommended."

"Understood," 2B said out loud. Directing her attention back to Cid, she grabbed a tuft of his hair and slammed the old guy's forehead into the ceramic tile, knocking him senseless.

After stuffing him into a stall, 2B departed from the bathroom and spotted the human in question; scanning him through her visor, she ascertained that he was a brown-haired boy in his mid-teens with a ton of hidden potential. Trying to look inconspicuous, 2B further investigated him under the guise of fixing her lip gloss.

She took note of the boy's "unrecognizable light levels." Gaining a new lead, she surmised in a low voice, "Pod, the target's light levels depict fluctuating patterns that seem to move with the wind."

"Inconsequential. There is no wind within this tavern."

Sighing, 2B retorted, "Yeah, I know that. But the reason you and I can't scan his light-levels is because it's literally all over the place. It's everywhere at once—I don't know how else to describe it."

"Caution: dealing with a target of this echelon may lead to mission aberration," Pod 042 warned.

"I'm aware of that, yet somehow, I'm drawn to the possibility of new things happening. What's going on with me, Pod?"

Offering his pristine analysis on the situation, Pod 042 answered, "Currently, there is a presence of deviant programming installed and running in your systems. You may experience sweaty palms, flustered cheeks, and the uncontrollable urge to laugh and have a good time. Humans call this normal behavior, indicative of their attraction to the opposite sex. Often times, females find themselves one step ahead—alert: your excitement levels are increasing. Caution is advised."

"Shut up, Pod," 2B commanded under her breath, already approaching the empty seat on Sora's right side. Clearing her throat, 2B took a seat and crossed her legs, definitely a strong academic of Hot Chick Protocol.

Clutching a tall glass of ice-cold lemonade, Sora glanced to his right and gawked. He couldn't believe it.

"Riku, is that you?" he asked in amazement. "Hey, I thought you were at the concert!"

Screwing up her half-concealed face, 2B stammered, "Uh…who?"

Embarrassed, Sora quickly apologized, "Oh, I guess you're not Riku. Sorry about that, my friend has the same color hair and he sometimes wears a blindfold."

"He?" 2B repeated in shock. "You seriously thought I was a guy?"

"Just at first glance." Looking at her crossed legs and partially exposed cleavage, Sora excused his ridiculousness, "Sorry, I'm a bit slow on the uptake. Maybe I should be wearing the blindfold. So, uh…why are you wearing a blindfold?"

2B's hidden pod articulated its plan of action, "Removal of the visor is strongly recommended."

2B said with a giggle, "This old thing? I just wear it for, uh, you know…style."

Sora continued the conversation, "Style, eh? My friend Riku used his blindfold so his eyes wouldn't lie to him, but I think the real reason was to look good for his fangirls."

"Oh my, sounds like your friend has vanity issues," 2B said without thinking.

"Don't we all," Sora replied with a chuckle. Realizing he hadn't introduced himself, he said, "Oh, I forgot! My name's Sora. What's yours?"

Shaking his hand, she answered, "Just call me 2B." Suddenly, her visor picked up a strong geyser of light rushing from their brief handshake. Just when the light became too strong, her visor gave out, darkening her whole view of the place.

"Too-Bee, huh?" Sora repeated. "Do you have a sister named 3B?"

"A sister? Um…not exactly. Er, excuse me, I have to take this off."

After untying her blindfold, 2B blinked her light-blue eyes a few times to adjust her vision. Sometimes, she forgot how vibrant the world looked without her military-grade visor running diagnostics every five minutes. And like a tractor beam, her attention was immediately diverted to the blue-eyed warrior of light sitting next to her. Now she realized why her visor malfunctioned; the amount of light pouring out of this guy was unreal.

"Yeah, that joke was weak," Sora admitted sheepishly. Noticing she'd stopped to stare at him without the blindfold, he commented, "You have really nice eyes. I'd say you could do without the blindfold, Too-Bee."

Realizing that was the first time she'd just been complimented in a totally non-sexual way that night, 2B felt the blushing executable run through her mainframe. "I, uh…"

Pod 042 advised, "Alert: say thank you."

"Thank you, Sora," she said with a genuine smile.

That's when Tifa Lockhart stopped tending some customers to notice Sora and 2B chatting it up at the end of her bar. Throughout the whole night, she'd been keeping an eye on 2B's antics, taking note of all the disappearing male patrons who made advances on the girl. Even though she was more-than-likely maiming some of her best customers like Zidane, Xigbar, Middle-aged Man from Sonic '06, and even Cid, Tifa didn't mind them being gone. They often caused trouble, and her bar could use a break from constant turmoil. But seeing that girl with Sora raised a bunch of red flags for Tifa. That kid was like kin to her. Or rather…Sora was like a little brother's best friends' neighbor's pet husky, or something like that. The point was, Tifa loved animals and didn't wish to see Sora slaughtered like one.

Sliding to the end of the bar where Sora and 2B were situated, Tifa interrupted their conversation whilst throwing 2B a threatening look, "Heeeeey, awesome, friendly, totally-not-trying-to-kill-each-other people! Can I get you guys some refills on your drinks?"

"Right on time!" Sora remarked. "One refill should do it. Too-Bee, can I get you anything?"

Remembering her mission, 2B nodded and said, "Just one glass of lemonade, please."

Staring hard into the android's grayish blue eyes, Tifa replied with a lethal edge, "Coming. Right. Up."

2B already knew the bartender was on to her, but she had no idea how closely tied to Sora she might be. It made sense, though, seeing as how this young man's light was literally pouring through the whole bar. However, unlike 2B's previous victims, she didn't plan on wasting Sora at any point tonight. No, she merely wanted to extract his heroic seed for a much-needed firmware update.

She shot Tifa a look of indifference.

"Don't work too hard, Tifa!" Sora shouted jokingly.

Reclaiming Sora's attention, 2B lightly touched his arm and said, "So, Sora, tell me about yourself."

Shrugging, he began with the basics. "Sure. I'm a Keyblade wielder from a game called Kingdom Hearts. I know magic spells, I fly a space ship, and…I totally made up my own fighting style."

Intrigued, 2B asked, "Really? What's it called?"

"It's called…'Hit 'Em with the Sword, Then Hit 'Em Again," Sora quipped.

Laughing, 2B found herself entertained by the Keyblader's apparent lack of formal training. Even now, he just seemed to be improvising, unlike the previous dudes who always came in with some cringe-inducing pickup line. Suddenly, the pod's artificial voice resonated in 2B's earpiece, "Alert: the subject's vitals are showing an acute lack of sexual arousal. Subject may be a homosexual."

"We'll see," 2B muttered as low as possible. "Be prepared to initiate the sleeper agent."

"Comin' at ya," Tifa interjected, sliding two more glasses of lemonade their way.

Taking his glass, Sora noticed Tifa was staring at him intently, as if trying to communicate some crucial piece of advice with her eyes.

"Um, what? Is there something on my face?" Sora asked in confusion.

"You just watch yourself, Sora," Tifa advised, glaring at 2B as she left them alone.

Seriously annoyed with the bartender's suspicious glares, 2B solemnly inferred, "You two seem to have a lot of history."

"Tifa? Not much, really. But we have looked out for each other plenty of times." Sora continued, "Anyway, I, uh, don't mean to be a showboat, but I get a lot of compliments on my fighting stance. Some people say it's too slow for offense, but I've always favored long and slow strokes to boost my defense."

"I like the way you put it, Sora," said 2B. "Tell me, does your girlfriend get to see you fight, or do you keep it all private?"

"Alert," the pod said out of the blue. "The human has become flustered."

"What?" Sora gasped with a flattered look. Beaming, he clarified, "Um, no I don't have a girlfriend. Most people assume I don't, which is insulting but still reality."

"Well, Sora, I'm astonished," 2B offered her two cents. "You're a man of class and indomitable will. I bet most girls are intimidated by you."

That's when Sora realized he'd been chatting with the same girl for quite some time. That doesn't normally happen at Tifa's bar, where his only concern is cooling off after a hard day's work. Heck, this sort of thing doesn't normally happen, period.

Now fully aware he'd just been complimented, Sora was almost at a loss for words. "I…really…hope they're just pretending, then."

"Oh, no," 2B flat-out denied. "Most girls can't handle the pressure of standing in a real warrior's shadow."

Becoming his own worst enemy here, Sora continued to play the humble patsy, "Real warrior? Those come a dime a dozen. Me, I'm just an island boy…but, anyway, your turn. Tell me all about your stylish blindfold."

Charmed, 2B took a moment to review her options. As much as she didn't want to reveal her true self, she still felt compelled to deliver some sort of truthful answer. Though her mission was important, sharing something with Sora was taking precedent at the moment. Risking it, she finally conceded, "Well, my blindfold allows me to see things through a more sophisticated lens. Would it freak you out if I told you I got it from a military organization?"

"AH—Nope!" Sora answered hastily, visibly freaked out by the O-word. "I probably get my dry cleaning from the same place!"

And so it happened that 2B lost it from that response; laughing out loud and proud for the whole bar to hear, 2B rocked forward and slapped Sora in the shoulder, squeezing his deltoid because she wanted some muscle-action. However, Sora was mainly perplexed by the reaction he just received, not even sure if it was his doing.

"Um, was it something I said?" Sora asked earnestly.

Still holding her hand on the young stud's shoulder and feeling his pectorals and all that, she gasped before asking, "How did you get to be so…brilliant?"

"Um…next question, please?" Sora replied, noticing how physical things were becoming.

"Okay, then can I tell you a secret, Sora?" 2B asked, lightly caressing the young warrior's thigh.

"Eh-heh-heh, uh, sure!" Sora replied like a halfwit.

While the flustered Keyblader was distracted, 2B muttered, "Do it."

"Preparing to deposit sleeper-solvent," the pod reported, handling a small syringe with its robot arms. Slowly and steadily, the pod hovered high above Sora's drink, holding out the syringe to make the drop.

Leaning in close, 2B whispered in Sora's ear, "I want you…to go deep inside me, tonight."

Glunk.

"Task completed," said the pod. "Also, the subject is ready to mate."

Somewhat grasping the situation, Sora went wide-eyed and attempted to put the pieces together, "You mean, like a 'deep dive'?"

Somehow stimulated by Sora's borderline clueless response, 2B voiced her amusement with the lad, "Oh, you're naughty. Are you sure you're a good guy, Sora?"

Behold, 2B uncrossed her legs to give Sora a brief view of her undergarment, prompting him to nervously reply, "Um…only if you like good guys."

"Your weapon…do you have it on you?"

"My Keyblade? It's always on me."

"Let me see it."

Pretty much moving on autopilot, Sora whipped out his hand and summoned the Kingdom Key. Seeing as how it flashes every time it appears, the sudden appearance of his weapon drew some attention from the other bar-goers.

"Now that's impressive," said 2B.

"Look at Sora tryna show off!" Yuffie screamed from across the bar, followed by some whooping and whistling. "Take it easy, tiger!"

"Sora's the MAN!" Quasimodo, yes freaking Quasimodo, shouted from a booth seat.

"Guess I've got some fans," Sora inferred, taking a congratulatory swig of his lemonade.

"Alert: target has ingested the—"

"Yes, I know! Can you shut up, now?" 2B whispered-yelled to the side.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yes, ahem, so…tell me what kind of girls you like, Sora."

"Oh, you know…girls are girls. I like what I get. Are there any guys you're interested in?"

"Actually, yes. Personally, I like the guys who have a strong sense of right and wrong. Light and darkness are all they ever think about. Not to mention they know how to show a lady a good time."

Pointing at his own face like a dimwit, Sora stated, "No way…that's the stuff I do!"

Meanwhile, Tifa had been watching from afar ever since a Keyblade got drawn. She had grown less suspicious and more impressed with the fact that Sora was able to hold the conversation thus far. He must have been doing something right; the girl had taken off her blindfold, laughed out loud, made him summon his Keyblade, and still hadn't forced him to disappear just yet. They were laughing, touching, drinking, and generally having a good time.

Although Tifa was protective over the young warrior, she didn't want to ruin his chances of getting laid. And even though that strange girl had no-doubt murdered the previous four guys who hit on her, there seemed to be a hint of harmlessness with her being around Sora. Maybe Tifa was overthinking things…

Sora was definitely under-thinking things. Taking another swig of his poisoned lemonade, he joked absentmindedly, "Maybe once I take my deep dive inside you, I can fill you up with my brilliance?"

"Ooh, my hero!" 2B was way too excited for this. "Now that you've got the right idea, why don't you invite me back to your place so we can take that deep dive together?"

On the word 'take,' Sora's vision started to blur; before he knew it, he was seeing two 2B's caressing his arm, and suddenly, everything sounded like he was underwater.

"My place…? Gee, I have been here a while…And I think it's past my bedtime…?" Sora was losing it. "Hey, is it kinda echo-y in here, or is it just me? And everything looks all…"

"Don't worry, Sora," 2B assured. "I'll make sure you make it home safe and sound. Just lead the way."

Totally tweaking from the sleeping drug, Sora cackled a bit before erratically agreeing, "Yes—YES! THAT is what I want to do! Yes…let's gi'goin'!"

Downing the rest of his lemonade, Sora took 2B by the hand, stumbled off the bar stool, and walked in extra goofy fashion towards the exit. That's when the young warrior's fan-club made another attempt at embarrassing him; it started with Prompto and Ignis from Final Fantasy XV kicking off the chant, "So-ra! So-ra! So-ra!"

And then the whole bar joined in on the chant; literally everyone chanted his name, growing louder the closer Sora and 2B neared the tavern's exit. Looking red under the cheeks for more reasons than one, Sora stopped at the exit, waved at everyone with a mindless smile, and shouted, "Goodnight, everybody!"

And with that, he and 2B took their leave from the Seventh Heaven to the crowd's thunderous applause.

On the outside, 2B couldn't help but comment, "I get that they were being supportive, but all that just seemed superfluously insulting."

Out of nowhere, Pod 042 rejoined their party, stating, "Humans can be cruel."

"It's like the lost boys said: 'you better let the right one in before twilight breaks dawn,' and Dracula Untold was a good movie too," Sora said this nonsense.

"I see," said 2B. "Where do you live?"

"Destiny Dormitory," Sora slurred. "It's just down this way…"

Suddenly, the tavern doors exploded open, revealing a woozy and stumbling Cid who couldn't stop clutching his skull. Spotting 2B with Sora, Cid screwed up his face in confusion, demanding answers, "What the fuck is going on here? You're leaving with HIM?"

"Get lost," 2B dismissed, following Sora's oblivious lead.

Stumbling after them, Cid begged, "C'mon, baby, I've got brand new satin pillows back at the pad!"

2B sighed. Drawing her sword, the Virtuous Contract, she proceeded to slice Cid in half in one clean, upward strike.

Momentarily trembling, Cid went wide-eyed as his entire form split apart vertically and fell to the ground in two bloody heaps. Both halves of his face uttered, "Man down."

2B whipped the blood off her blade. No longer annoyed, she turned and told Sora, "Problem solved. Now then, you were leading the way."

Sora, on the other hand, was way too high for any of this. Fortunately, that meant he lacked the brainpower to comprehend what just happened. With glazed eyes, he analyzed the situation with fake concern, "Whoa-ho-ho…you totally cut Cid in half. He's gonna be grumpy as fuck tomorrow."

"Let's get moving, Sora."

-X-

So now Sora, 2B, and the pod were using the elevator to reach Sora's floor. The only problem was the fact that Sora was nearly comatose, causing 2B to prop him up against the wall.

Ding.

"Finally," 2B muttered irritably. Glancing at Sora's state of sedation, she cursed, "Damn it. I should have waited to give him the sleeping agent. Now he's mostly dead weight."

Perking up out of nowhere, Sora retorted, "Hey, who you callin' dead weight, gorgeous?"

"Sora, do you have your house keys?" 2B questioned, taking him by the leg and dragging him out of the elevator.

"Who needs a house key…when I've got this?" Sora summoned the Kingdom Key, letting it drag along with the rest of his bodyweight.

Dragging him all the way down to the second-to-last room on the left, 2B propped him up to his feet and commanded, "Open it."

Giving her a blank look, Sora stalled, "Open what?"

Heated, the android samurai clarified, "The door."

"What door?" Sora was visibly enjoying this.

"The door in front of you, idiot!"

Laughing uncontrollably, Sora asked, "How do you open doors, again?"

2B needed a moment to rub her temples. Calmly, she asked herself, "I'm not gonna have to bang this guy in the hallway, am I?"

Holding up his index finger, Sora shed some light on their conundrum, "Confucius says: if one lacks the keys to success, then one must learn to pick locks!"

Sighing, 2B just took the advice. "Guess I'm chopping off a knob, tonight." Equipping herself with her katana, she pushed aside Sora, who fell to the floor. "Move aside, you beautiful dumbass."

Testing the sturdiness of the lever-handle door knob, 2B noticed something odd; the knob was actually turning. Well, that took care of one issue.

Lying down with his hands behind his head, Sora replied, "Oops. Guess I forgot to lock it."

Dragging him inside, 2B smiled and said, "Either way, Sora, good work. You're about to make a strong ally, tonight."

"A-hiyuck," Sora hiyucked. "My friends are my power!"

"I believe you," 2B admitted. "Now, get your ass on that bed."

-X-

Deep in another part of Square Enix's Headquarters, a loud and proud JPop concert, sponsored by Sega, was being held in the lofty, limitless Concert Hall, which housed thousands of music lovers currently getting their money's worth, courtesy of Hatsune Miku.

Standing somewhere in the back of all the fanatic chaos were Kairi, Riku, Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka. Each held a red cup full of cheap punch as well as a somewhat entertained facial expression.

Yelling over the roaring crowd, Riku asked, "So I don't get it…is she like a hologram, or something?"

Tidus gave his surest answer, "I'm pretty sure she's a robot, dude!"

Wakka also put his two cents in, "I heard she's a Ruby Weapon in disguise!"

"Disguise or no disguise, I bet I could sing better than…whatever she is!" Selphie proclaimed.

"This place is giving me a headache!" Kairi complained.

Whipping out his cell phone, Riku made sure to tell Kairi, "Guess what I'm about to Kweh? 'Headline: Kairi gets headache in a crowd full of bliss.' Now lemme just get your picture…" After snapping a quick shot of Kairi looking annoyed, Riku sent the Kweh and looked proud of himself. "All in a day's work."

A/N: A review a day keeps the evil spirits away! Unless you like evil spirits, in which case more reviews will bring more to you! (Not really.)

Credit for the cheeky Sora render goes to Otzipai-Art, thanks dude, fuckin A!
Original cheeky Sora image art/MMD-Final-Sora-Update-DL-379431312