FicWad

The following fanfiction are Vignettes of rewritten scenes from episodes of Futurama Season 2 that I absolutely abhorred. Why are Futurama fans so gaga over season 2 anyway? Although not in season 2, what was so big about Roswell That Ends Well, and Jurassic Bark, too? Those fans who love the FOX seasons ridicule the Comedy Central episodes like those ones are World War 3! These scenes that I am rewritting are from episodes such as I Second That Emotion, Brannigan Begin Again, Raging Bender, and The Problem With Popplers. Not only in those four episodes.

In all of the second season of Futurama it seemed like Leela was always being targeted and cornered and Fry and Bender get off scot free and just stood there and let Leela get persecuted and even laughed at her. In fact Fry and Bender even treated Leela like she was their little kid sister and acted like she deserved everything she got coming to her. (sarcasm) Oh yes, Fry is such a sweetheart, isn't he? (sarcasm) To add insult to injury, it was revealed in season 2 that Leela had a terrible childhood in the Orphanarium where she was merciliessly bullied by both teachers and students, and was a total social pariah. Just because she had one eye. These four episodes would've been better if ZOIDBERG had been the one who was in trouble. As it is, these four episodes can burn in HELL! And so can all the rest of Futurama Season 2! But to be fair there were some good episodes from season 2. So don't take this too personally.



Futurama Presents


A Narwhal Puppy Production


Perilous Lobster



I Second That Emotion


In the sewers on the search for Nibbler. Fry, Bender, and Zoidberg were under strict orders from Leela and Farnsworth to find Nibbler. Farnsworth and Leela were back in Planet Express waiting for results.

"Uh, why didn't Leela come with us? We sure could use her!" said Fry in disgust of what he was witnessing in the sewers.

"Here is something I don't need! This godforsaken Empathy Chip!" Bender announced when he removed it from his neck. "Bender has empathy for NO ONE!"

"I don't see what's so gross about this sewers. Actually, I kind of like it here!" Zoidberg said.

"You'd blend in well with these supposed mutants! If they exist that is." retorted Fry.

"Yeah, pick on the gross weirdo why don't you." spurted Zoidberg.

"We can't help it if you're a class geek of Planet Express." spat Bender.

Suddenly, the trio found themselves surrounded by the mercy of the Mutants. "You dare deny our existence!" shouted Dwanye who was the leader.

"We're sorry." Fry shook timidly, "We all thought you were an urban legend.

"All didn't happen to see a little odd looking boobish alien running around here? Not that anyone asked me!" asked Bender casually.

"You mean, El Chupanibre?" asked Raoul. "We know a song about it." said Vyolet. All the mutants sang, "He creeps and crawls in the midnight rush...." "SHUT UP! We didn't come here for a musical number!" shouted Bender. "Just for that.....for that......" began Raoul.

"Spit it out! We don't have all day." recanted Bender.

"One of you will be a snackrifice! We will feed you to our monster! May we proudly present, El Chupanibre!" called out Dwanye.

A huge green monster appears from the raw sewage and roars in Fry's, Bender's and Zoidberg's faces.

"EEEEK!!!! What's happening!" screamed Fry. "I don't like the looks of this dude!" Zoidberg said.

"Which one of us will it be, I wonder?" asked Fry. Nibbler came to Fry's feet. "There you are Nibbler old buddy! Boy won't Leela be glad to see you." Fry picked up Nibbler. Bender said, "We found that little freak we were looking for, we'll be on our way!" "See ya! Buh Bye now!" called Zoidberg.

When Fry, Bender, and Zoidberg were about to leave, the mutants blocked their path. "Oh no you don't. You're all not leaving here until we do the snackrifice!" yelled Vyolet. "Oh crud! Looks like we're stuck here for a while." said Fry. "If they pick you, I'll be sure to give you a nice send off!" promised Bender. "You're an awesome companion!" complemented Fry. Raoul said to Fry and Bender. "We will let the man and the robot live." Fry and Bender both felt alleviated. "But the weirdo looking one is going to be the snackrifice!" laughed Dwanye evilly.

"Wait a minute. Trying to figure out who the weirdo looking one is" Zoidberg wondered. "Is it you, Bender?" "Oh, hell no! Can't you put two and two together?" Bender glared at the lobster. "I'm afraid they want you!" said Fry. The mutants were fast to grab Zoidberg and chain him to the post. "Come on you guys! Are you not my friends? Help me!" yelled Zoidberg.

"Maybe we should do something. He is our doctor and we need a doctor when we get sick." suggested Fry who shown concern for Zoidberg still holding Nibbler. "Send us a postcard from the afterlife!" called Bender. Zoidberg sobbed, although he did have a plan to play on Fry's and Bender's conscience. "How could you do this to me? Ever since you both came to Planet Express all you two ever did was do horseplay and monkeyshines on me!"

As El Chupanibre was inching closer to Zoidberg. Vyolet mocked the now captive lobster, "Look at that little crybaby asshole! I'll bet he's still a virgin!" "You're a riot for our rowdiness!" said Bender to Zoidberg. "We don't really mean it....." Fry was cut off at the past by Bender. "Don't listen to Fry, we do mean it!" "Oh yeah? If I get eaten, who is going to give you medicine if you were to fall ill to a death disease?" struggled Zoidberg to playing his cards right.

"The more you're forgotten, the greater it is for us!" said Bender. "Professor Demented will just hire a new doctor better than you ever were!" Bender said referring to Farnsworth. Dwayne, Raoul, and Vyolet laugh at Zoidberg as he is getting closer to being the main course. "Guess your friends don't care about you." "They're not even moving a muscle to save you!" "That man and robot, they don't give a shit about you!" "Plea all you want. You're not going to be saved!" said Vyolet. Fry then had a moment of moral sense after hearing the Mutants taunting.

"Bender, you can insult Zoidberg if you want to. Doesn't mean I have to!" Fry decides to help the hapless Lobster. "Be my guest!" said Bender. "Zoidberg, you may not know it, but you liked!" called Fry. "Doesn't seem like I am. Hermes hates me, Leela and Amy sure seem to detest me......" Zoidberg cried. "That's not true! You see, when I prank and joke around with you. It's for fun. All guys friends rip on each other. Especially back in my time...." Fry trying to convince Zoidberg. Bender muttered, "There he goes again about his beloved 20th Century!"

"Really?" said Zoidberg. "So all that time you and Bender ganged up on me......." "Never meant it to hurt you! I gave into peer pressure. Also from my time! Peer Pressure. I'm sorry, Zoidberg! If you survive this, I will treat you with the utmost respect!" Fry stated. "Oh, Fry! I always knew you had a good heart!" Bender acted like he wanted to vomit. "Peer Pressure...didn't really mean it?!...why you traitor!..the nerve of that delivery boy......" Bender was about to throw Fry into the raw sewage with El Chupanibre "CURSE YOU AND YOUR HEART OF GOLD!" then Nibbler jumped out of Fry's hands and swallowed El Chupanibre whole. "To hell with this!" said Dwayne. "Where are we going to find another green monster?" asked Vyolet. "We're mutants who live in sewage another one is sure to come!" assured Raoul.

Nibbler freed Zoidberg from the post. "Fry all the credit goes to you for saving me!" said Zoidberg. "Was glad to do it! Not only did I save you, we found Nibbler as well!" said Fry. "In rescuing Zoidberg, you also betrayed me! Hoping Zoidberg would finally get a tragic end!" said Bender. "Those mutants promised me a death and I was denied!" Zoidberg puts his claw on Fry, "From now on, you and I are secret best friends!" Bender looked up into the ceiling of the sewer, "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" "Don't sweat it, Bender. We always go on life threatening missions. And I will always be your friend, too!" Fry said hoping to regain Bender's trust. "It's going to take a lot more than that for you to regain my trust!" warned Bender. Zoidberg had a gleam in his eye and thought, 'good, I knew playing on Fry would get me rescued!"


Back at Planet Express Nibbler was reunited with Leela. Fry, Bender, and Zoidberg was telling Hermes, Leela, Farnsworth, and Amy about their adventure. "If it weren't for Fry telling me......" Zoidberg tried to explain then Bender pushed him away. "Yo Fry! If you want my trust me, you're going to help me steal a car from Malfunctioning Eddies!" "It's a deal!" Fry and Bender run off, "SO LONG JERKOS!" Zoidberg gets up and says, "Fry really does like me!" "I'm very proud of Fry for standing up for you like that!" boasted Leela. "Just hope Fry won't be caught in a friend triangle!" said Amy. "Possibly the only one who does." remarked Hermes.


*



Brannigan Begin Again



Fry and Bender were watching television. Zoidberg walks in snapping his claws and blocking Fry's and Bender's view of the television. "Good news! Good news! Good news!" "Scram Loser! You're blocking all the action!" yelled Bender. "What do you want to say?" asked Fry. "You're encouraging him!" sneered Bender to Fry. "Anyways, you're probably all wondering why Leela isn't here!" said Zoidberg. "Don't care!" Bender said. "I noticed! Where did she go?" asked Fry. "Probably on a date with a handsome millionaire! Knowing her."

Zoidberg explained to the slacker and beer drinking robot, "Leela is gone for the next two months because she has a job as a counselor at a summer camp in Albany." Fry looked stunned. Bender was happy, "Good! At least we don't have to put up with ole one eyed bitch! That's a one up for me!" "Where are you going with this?" asked Fry. "I am trying to tell you that until Leela comes back," said Zoidberg now pointing to himself, "All summer long, I'll be the Spaceship Captain NOW!!" "Oh crap! There goes the neighborhood." said Bender. "I have a feeling this will be the worst summer ever!" cried Fry.

Now that he was appointed temporary Spaceship Captain, Zoidberg tried to assert some authority on Fry and Bender, "ATTENTION! FORWARD MARCH! GET OFF YOUR ASSES YOU SAD SACKS OF SHIT!" Fry and Bender looked at each other and laugh. "I'M NOT JOKING! MOVE IT YOU CLOWNS!!" yelled Zoidberg. Fry and Bender got the message.

Momentarily Zoidberg was walking around enjoying his status as a Spaceship Captain. He had Fry and Bender scrub the ship. Bender murmured, "Zoidberg in charge what the hell...." Fry whispers, "We left him a surprise!" "I heard that you two! Less talk more scrub....." ordered Zoidberg who then saw out of the corner of his eye a drawing of him yelling. Fry and Bender snickered. "WHAT THE......" growled Zoidberg. "For that you are on cleaning duty for the weekend!" Fry and Bender did not like what Zoidberg had become. Farnsworth said, "Great job Zoidberg! You're good with them!" Hermes and Amy were there, "Can I boss them around too?" asked Zoidberg. "NOPE!" "I Don't think so!"

Zapp and Kiff lose their positions at DOOP and look around for work with no luck. Eventually Zoidberg hires them at Planet Express and the company takes a tumble. All because Zoidberg kept ordering Fry and Bender around to race against Zapp and Kiff to see who could do the most work all the while maintaining his command as Spaceship Captain. Zoidberg then had to appear in court. "FIRE HIM, MON!" yelled Hermes from the audience. "All he does is pit Fry and Bender against Zapp and my Kiffy!" yelled Amy. "Biggest mistake of my life was putting Zoidberg in charge!" yelled Farnsworth. "You should've put me in charge." said Fry. "I was the better man to be the Spaceship Captain!" said Bender. "Fry and Bender are losers!" shouted Zapp. "Help me out here, Kiff!" "Ehhhh" Kiff sighed. Zoidberg hung his head shamefully.

Hyperchicken walks up to Zoidberg who was on the stand and interviews the lobster. "Now Zoidberg, point to the man you hired that made the company fall over." Zoidberg reluctantly points to Zapp. "He's over there!" "Hey, don't blame me you crustation son of a bitch! Fry and Bender are the troublemakers throughout all of this......"


In time, Farnsworth had a solution to have Zoidberg be in charge of a delivery mission to bring Fry, Bender, Zapp, and Kiff with him. Zoidberg still acting like a general, flies the Planet Express ship to a planet called Stumbos 4 with an extremely high gravitational pull. "Your mission boys is to deliver these pillows here! Each take one." Zoidberg ordered. "This is going to be easy! We're getting there first!" said Fry taking a pillow sticking his tongue out at Zapp and Kif. Bender flipped the bird. "I know! Let's be teams!" suggested Bender. "NO! You will do nothing of the sort. You will deliver these pillows like normal people!" ordered Zoidberg.

"What is normal anymore?" bemoaned Kif as he was tiring of Zoidberg's newfound authority "No complaints! MOVE IT!" yelled Zoidberg. As soon as Fry, Bender, Zapp, and Kif set foot on the planet, the pillows were heavy for them to carry. "This is even heavy for me, Bender! And I'm supposed to be the strongest!" "I miss Leela!" Fry moaned.

Zapp gasped, "Just a little closer......" Kif could barely speak. "How long is Zoidberg going to be captain?" asked Zapp. "Until Leela comes back from being a camp counseler. Whenever that will be." said Fry. "Until then, Zoidberg has been working us like worthless human slaves!" Bender said. "You're telling me!" Kif spoke. "He's even using his power to abuse what used to be mine!" said Zapp. "Should we do something about this? asked Fry. "It's time we start a mutiny!" suggested Zapp. "You mean overthrowing? You Zapp baby took the words right out of his mouth! It's what I live for!" cheered Bender. "Better yet, Let's Court Martial the son of a bitch!" said Zapp. Fry agrees, "Yeah, who does he think he is....."

Zapp, Kiff, Fry, and Bender struggled to come back to the Planet Express ship. Zoidberg said, "Faster! Faster! My Grandmother can run better than that!" Fry and Bender boarded the ship. Zapp and Kif soon to follow. "Well, report to me your progress! Did you deliver those pillows or not!" barked Zoidberg.

"Yo Zoidberg! Your sandal's loose!" said Fry trying to make Zoidberg look he fell for it. Then he got tackled by Zapp, Kif, and Bender. Zoidberg was enveloped by the pillow cases from the pillows. "This is no way to treat a lobster in charge!" smothered Zoidberg. Zapp puts Zoidberg in handcuffs. "You're being court martialed for abusing your authority!! Kif, throw him in the brink!" "Let me do it!" Bender said. Bender carried Zoidberg who tried to yell but being closed up in the pillow cases stopped him. Fry, Kif, and Zapp laugh as Bender throw Zoidberg in the back of the ship.

"Someday we'll look back and laugh at this!" laughed Bender. Zoidberg cried. "WHY! WHY! I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB!" Fry came to console him. "You were too bossy with us. It never would've happened if you didn't go so overboard. Now if you'll excuse me I got a mission to do!" Zapp then took command of the mission. That lead to him getting his and Kiff's status back at DOOP.


After the mission with Zapp was over, Fry, Bender, and Zoidberg were making repairs on the Planet Express ship. "You were right Fry, I did go all bananas with the power I had." said Zoidberg. "Glad you saw the light about that." said Fry. "I vow to never to abuse my authority again." said Zoidberg. "You do that with your hypocratic oath! Stick to that!" snarked Bender. "I will!" said Zoidberg. "Yeah stick to that instead." said Fry.

Farnsworth comes in. "Good news, everyone! Now that Zoidberg lost his position as filling in for temporary Spaceship Captain. I put Hermes in charge until Leela comes back!" Hermes walks in and says, "What are you guys doing? Sleeping or working!"

"I say he court martial him!" whispered Bender. "I'm in for that!" whispered Fry. "You guys are all right! hahahahah We're pals!" laughed Zoidberg.


*


Raging Bender


After a brawl at a movie theater, Bender gets an opportunity to compete in an Ultimate Robot Fighter Competition. Everyone is trying to talk him out of it.

"Bender, you can't be an Ultimate Robot Fighter. It's the most brutal form of competition in the galaxy!" said a concerned Amy.

"It is?"! asked Bender astoundedly wanting him to try it even more to prove his mettle.

Farnsworth informed, "There are no rules! Two bots enter, one bot leaves. Then later that other robot who leaves is being declared the winner!"

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad!" Bender stated.

Farnsworth forgot to mention, "Did I say there was crippling pain involved? I'm pretty sure I did."

The Professor's warning just encourages Bender to join the Ultimate Robot Fighter Competition even more. "Crippling Pain? That's not covered by my insurance fraud? Count me in!"

Zoidberg steps in to add his two cents. "I've just been sitting here in the background. Couldn't help but take this all in. If you want my opinion, I think Bender should go for it!"

"What? You're letting Bender join a Robot Fighter's club, but Leela wouldn't let me marble eating contest?" Fry asked in a jealous way.

"We've been over that before, Fry. Trust me, I've been at that with you for 4 hours yesterday." Leela said. "Putting me through that hell....."

Zoidberg gives his insight, "Bender should do it for pride! Allow me to tell you a story about my teenager years...."

Leela cuts him off, "Oh, Lord! Here he goes again about his troubled youth in Decopod 10!"

"Let me speak please. Thank you. Back when I was a young crustation, I got picked on a lot because I was fat." explained Zoidberg. "There we were in junior college while earning my master's degree in medicine. For a sport, I joined the Claw Plaque league. Where I actually excelled....." A flashback sequence is seen where a young adolescent Zoidberg takes on two other Decopodians. His teacher was a green alien named Fnog.

"Excellent work! Oliver, Anthony you will both go to the junior championships!!" complemented Master Fnog.

Young Zoidberg protests, "But Master Fong, I beat these guys with my hands tied behind my back!"

Master Fnog was never impressed with any of Zoidberg's moves, "Perhaps, but there is more to winning than beating your rival. You lack the will of the warrior.!"

Young Zoidberg being offended wanted to prove his master wrong, "Oh, yeah! Watch this!" Zoidberg gets a pole and knocked out Oliver to the ground.

Master Fong clearly stated, "Not fat slob like you will EVER have the will of a warrior. Instead you have the will of a couch potato who eats junk food all day!"

The other Decopodians and Master Fnog all laughed at Young Zoidberg as the flashback ends. Zoidberg says to Bender as his voice breaks, "I lost my chance to be a champion, and now I want you to have what I never did!"

"Zoidberg is right! I don't want to be a loser like him! Count me back in!" called out a determined Bender.

"I concur". Hermes murmured as he had a brain slug on his head.

"Wait a second, Leela." Zoidberg turned to her feeling offended. "What did you mean by my 'troubled youth on Decopod 10'? Weren't you an outcast too at the Orphanarium?"

Leela spoke, "No I wasn't. I only had three very good friends there during my childhood and teen years. But I wasn't popular."

Bender ran up, "Oh, really! Tell me, Leela. Have you and your friends back then used to be in competition with each other?"

Fry joining in, "Yeah, or did you all get tired of each other after a while and then wanted to find newer more popular friends?"

"To answer your silly ass questions. Back then, if you had friends, the bullies left you alone." answered Leela. "Whether you were popular or not. In other words, I was NEVER made fun of or bullied. That was only the kids who didn't have friends."

"Everybody had friends in their past except Zoidberg!" Zoidberg brawled.


Bender was scheduled to take on The Destructor. Who's creator was Master Fnog. In the ring at Madison Cube Garden. Rich Little and George Foreman were announcing the fight. George used it as an opportunity to sell his grills. Zoidberg pointed, "That's the guy who used to pick on me for being fat!!" "Now I really don't know if I want to fight him" said Bender. "Come on, I'm going to teach you how to fight, Claw Plaque style!" said Zoidberg. "I don't want to take any fighting lessons from a wuss like you!" said Bender. "Okay." Zoidberg walked away in disgrace.


The Destructor and Bender were in a fight in which Bender was almost losing. Leela yelled, "Left hook! Right hook!" "Kick his ass, Bender!" cheered Fry. "get him." Hermes whispers still had the brain slug on his head. Leela discovers that the Destructor was being controlled by Master Fnog. "Zoidberg, come here!" she called. "Yes yea?" asked Zoidberg. "There's that trainer who used to diss you." Leela said. "But I don't want to face him!" shied away Zoidberg. "Get your revenge on him! If you don't he'll beat Bender and he will forever think you're a coward! Is that what you want?" encouraged Leela. Zoidberg gathered some courage "Right! Excuse me friends! Zoidberg has a point to prove!"


Leela has now inspired the luckless lobster to get revenge. Zoidberg jumped down to the lower room underneath the boxing ring and meet Master Fnog. The fight between Bender and the Destructor stopped. "Aww, I remember you! Fat and lazy who can't fight worth a shit!" "Keep laughing! I'm here to show you that I have a will! A will of a warrior!" Zoidberg yelled. "You will of warrior? Ha hahahahaha! That'll be the day! you even fatter than you were back then! How do you train, by eating 10 pizzas?" Zoidberg's rage overcame him and Zoidberg and his former Master got into a brawl. Zoidberg grabbed a hold of Master Fnog's controller and broke it into pieces. Bender looked down and said, "I'm the one who's supposed to be quarrling, not you!"

"Come on, we were promised a fight!" yelled an impatient Zapp from the audience. "What the hell is going on"! "BOO! Get that Hippie out of the ring!" yelled Nixon.

Zoidberg confronted, "You were planning to control that robot with a controller! That's cheating! You're not a Warrior at all!" Getting all enraged, Master Fnog dove at Zoidberg, "You shall be sorry for this! See you in Fat Hell! I'm going to Skinny Hell! Much nicer!" Zoidberg got a couch that was in the lower room and knocked out Master Fong. The Destructor who was now helpless was getting beaten by Bender. "YEAH! BENDER IS GREAT! BABY! DESTRUCTOR SUCKS! I AIN'T GONNA BE NO GENDER BENDER ANYMORE!"


The Referee shouts, "AND THE WINNER AND CHAMPION OF THE ULTIMATE ROBOT FIGHTER COMPETITION IS.....GENDER BENDER!" the audience erupted with glee and joy. Bender spat at the referee, "You could've just said Bender!"

"Yay! Congratulations, Bender! You got to live your dream!" said Fry. "Happy day for us all!" said Leela. "I just made my way into the Ultimate Robot Fighter Hall of Fame!" Bender stood proudly. "You'll be remember for that!" said Amy as she was leading Hermes away. "I'm proud of you Bender! We both kicked ass today! You beat up a humongous robot, and I beat up somebody who used to make me feel bad in junior college!"

"Great job kid!" Doubledeal said.


Rich Little narrating, "And so ends the chronicle of one of the greatest ever to play the sport."

George Foreman answered, "And he didn't look half bad in the tutu."


*


The Problem With Popplers




The door to a secret conference room now opens. Zapp, Kiff, Lrrr, and Ndnd walk out. Everyone cheers when Zapp arrives.

Taking the podium, Zapp come to say, "My fellow earthlings we have reached an agreement. Using the twin guns of grave and tact. I have made a worthless compromise. by blasting my enemies. They will not at everyone on earth.

Lrrr told everyone, "I filled up on nuts at the negotiation!"

Zapp makes the decision, "Instead they will eat only a single human being on their choice! Whoever it is will be sacrificed!"

Lrrr has a nanny cam, "As for everyone else, you will be spared! And we found the culprit who was eating sweet innocent young!"

Zapp takes the remote control to the nanny cam. "Here is the culprit!"

Lrrr turns on a big overhead only to show Dr. Zoidberg picking up the Popplers.

The crowd cheers as Zoidberg cries.


Madison Cube Garden. The sign outside reads "Slurm Concert Series Present: An Evening With A Human-Eating Monster". Inside, the crowds murmur. There a is a stage in the middle of the room with a table and chairs on it. Linda presents the TV coverage from a commentary box

Linda reports, "Tonight, the world watches in horror as an earthling is eaten alive on network television. This grim scene of unimaginable carnage is brought to you by Fishy Joe's! Try our new Extreme Walrus Juice! An ad comes up on the screen of a surfer riding on the back of a walrus. 100% fresh-squeezed walrus. Ride the walrus!"


A spotlight shines onto a door on the stage.


Hermes who was watching in the audience with Farnsworth and Labarbra states, "Zoidberg is going to be a delicious dish for the Omicrons! Who can ask for anything more!"

Farnsworth looks around for Fry, Bender, and Leela. "Where are those three?"

An announcer on the loudspeaker says, "Ladies and Gentleman The Omicrons!"

Lrrr, Ndnd, and some other Omicrons walk out. "Greetings Earth Morsels!" greeted Lrrr.

A man from the audience yells, "You Suck!" Lrrr fights back, "Get a job!"

Backstage, Zoidberg is in a cage. Leela, Bender, Zapp, and Fry try to think of a way to get him out.

"You know what? I came here to see justice done for the Omicrons. You guys can help him escape if you want to. I will not be held accountable!" Zapp said backing out and walks out of sight.

Zapp helped the Omicrons capture Zoidberg who was eating the Popplers, so Zapp didn't want to let them down by aided in his freedom.

"Good! Who needs you anyway!" Leela shouted at Zapp.

"Sure am going to miss bullying you, Zoidberg! I know you're just a carbon based life form. But I will think of you as an insignificant ink block!" Bender told the lobster.

"You just going to stand around and insult me all day? I was trying to save those Popplers! Not eat them!" Zoidberg explained in his defense.

"You have to convince them, not us!" Leela told Zoidberg. "Too late for that now."

"We weren't trying to make fun of you Zoidberg. It's just Bender's way of saying things the way he does." said Fry.

Kiff enters, "Zapp bailed on us so I will help you guys!"

Zoidberg's sarcasm meter goes up, "Oh great! Somebody let in Karma Chameleon. The creepy thin with the plan. What good can he do? Why not tell it to Wingus, Dingus, and Old Witch instead?"

Kiff sighed, "WIngus, Dingus, Old Witch! I happen to be a stylist. So I came up with the old switcharoo trick!" Kiff wheels in a cage with an ape inside. "We will make this ape look like Zoidberg."

"That looks nothing like me. As you guys always say. We're boned!" Zoidberg said hopelessly throwing his claws in the air.

"There is always hope it comes from the inside." said Fry trying to boost Zoidberg's spirits.

"Woah! Woah! Wait! Did you just say _We're_ Boned! Time to check the map again dude! YOU ARE BONED!" yelled Bender to Zoidberg.

"I know am I doomed to die, don't rub it in my face! Now you guys think I look like an ape?" cried Zoidberg.

Kiff groans and walks into the cage and dresses up the ape like Zoidberg. "This might actually work, Omicrons seems to have telling one being from another! Brilliant plan, Kiff!! complemented Leela.

"That's sweet of you Leela. Sometimes I wish you were my boss!" Kiff said.

On stage Lrrr demands his sacrificial dinner. "I demand the one called Zoidberg!"

Fry, Bender, Leela, and Kiff push the cage the ape in the cage dressed like Zoidberg in Lrrr's direction that causes the cage to ram into the Omicron King and push him off the stage. Ndnd comes on the stage. "I shall be filling in! As always!" Ndnd gets the ape dressed like Zoidberg from the cage. Once the ape is out of the cage, it goes on berserk destroying everything in it's path. Lrrr and Ndnd watched and wondered who was behind it. "Who did this! Denying us a revenge mean for eating our young?" asked Lrrr. "I think I know! Come with me!" said Ndnd leading Lrrr backstage. The Waterfall Family ran away in fear as does the rest of the audience. Fry, Leela, Kiff, Bender get Zoidberg out of the cage.

Bender looks at all the chaos involving the ape, "We started a riot! Neat!"

"Does this mean I'm free?" asked Zoidberg.

"Free as a bird!" said Fry. "Unfortuntely for you, yes." Bender snarked.

Kiff said, "I will lead the way to an escape. Everyone seems distracted! They won't notice us let's go!"

Fry,Leela, Bender, Kiff, and Zoidberg were about to run out of Madison Cube Garden until they are confronted by Lrrr and Ndnd.

"Where do you think YOU'RE GOING?" demanded Lrrr. "So it was all of you who sent that ape dressed up like Zoidberg, huh?" yelled Ndnd.

"Yeah it was us! So what? If anyone is going to be killing or eating Zoidberg, it's me, Bender!"

"I would want it to be you!" said Zoidberg.

Fry freaks out, "What's happening!" "Think we are about to find out." Kiff said freaking out as much as Fry is.

"Now that you ruined our sacrifice, we all now eat you four! Excluding the robot! Help me grab them Ndnd!"

"Does this mean you're sparing me! Robot cannot be eaten!" Bender pondered!

Lrrr and Ndnd were about to attack Zoidberg, Fry, Leela, Bender, and Kiff. Bender uses a laser to shoot the roof and it's collapses on Lrrr's and Ndnd's heads. Everybody runs out of the Madison Cube Garden building. The Ape dressed as Zoidberg ran far away until it was caught and sent back to the zoo.

The whole Popplers scenario was finally over. Fishy Joe's stopped selling them. Back at Planet Express, Bender comes in with a dolphin.

"Who wants a dolphin?"

Leela said, "But dolphins are intellegent!"

"They're great for food!" suggested Bender.

Kiff and Zoidberg were in the living room. "Thank you so much Kiff if it weren't for you. I'd be in a digestive track by now."

"No hard feelings! You guys are my friends. Better friends than Zapp ever was!" said Kiff.

"We should hang out together sometime!" suggested Zoidberg.

"Maybe we will. Now looks like I gotta go back to DOOP!" said Kiff as he departed.

Zoidberg saw the dolphin Bender had and threw it into the ocean. "After what I have gone through with Lrrr trying to kill me, I never want to see another ocean animal suffer!"

"Dammit! My seafood special is ruined!" screamed Bender.

"Let's lay off fast food for a while. Thanks for doing that for us, Zoidberg!" said Farnsworth.

Wanting to do something nice for Fry, Bender, and Leela who took part in rescuing him, Zoidberg wants to make a dinner.

"Instead I will whip something up!" said Zoidberg.

"Great. I wonder what that will be?" dreaded Fry rolling his eyes.

Zoidberg gets a bag and out comes a dead cow.

"Spew Gross! Not Cow!" Amy yelled.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Leela.

"You all saved me from a terrible, horrible fate. So I thought I would what's the word.....reimburse is it?!" said Zoidberg.

Hermes demands, "Put that cow back where you found it!" "I saw we get out of here!" said Fry. "I do not accept anything from worthless Decopodians!" Bender said.

"I'd rather eat Bender's food." retorted Amy.

Fry, Bender, Leela, Zoidberg, Hermes, and Amy left the kitchen to find something else to eat. "Tough luck again, huh Zoidberg?" asked Farnsworth. "I know, it's okay I'm used to it." Zoidberg sighed sadly.



The End


The Proceeding Has Been a Narwhal Puppy Production!