Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Not Sure If This Matters
Last night I saw my world explode.
I physically had to call the ambulance to take an unconscious Ashley to the hospital. And in those four hours of sitting in the plastic blue chairs, every thought that crossed my mind was negative.
I couldn't help but think I was going to lose my sister.
----------
A cough escaped my lips as I made my way out front the emergency room sliding doors into the rather cold summer night. Wrapping my hoodie tighter around me I leaned into the phone booth and dialed the one person I knew would answer the phone.
"Um, hello?" I smiled.
"Patrick?" I asked and he sighed.
"Uhh, Jenny?" he asked back and I smirked.
"Yeah," I breathed and he fumbled with the phone a bit.
"It's rather late, you know," I sighed closing my eyes and nodded to myself.
"Patrick, Ashley's in the hospital," Chaotic sisters were blunt.
"Oh," he simply said and I sighed.
"Do...do you think you can come keep me company?" I asked and I heard him shuffle the phone again before sighing.
"Yea, I'll be there in a bit," I soon heard the dial tone and sighed, pulling myself off the metal and dragging my feet into the cold and empty waiting room. Fishing out some loose change I stood in front of the vending machine and pushed the small buttons, letting the caffeinated drink fall into my grasp.
"Goodworst?" God, I hated our last name.
"Yeah?" I croaked and the doctor smiled and ushered me over.
"You can see your sister now," he spoke and walked me down to a room where she was temporally stationed.
"Hi," I spoke as soon as he had disappeared. Ashley sighed and watched me with careful eyes as I took a seat next to her.
"I'm sorry you had to do this, Jenny," she whispered and I shook my head.
"Your ok, that's all that matters," I told her back and she reached out for my hand. I stared down at our identical hands for a while as I listened to her heart monitor beep steadily.
"Um, ladies, another visitor," We looked up at the same time to see a rugged, fast dressed Patrick in the doorway, the doctor slipping away as he walked over and sat next to me, scooting closer.
"Patrick?" Ashley asked and looked at me.
"I...I'm sorry," I whispered and Ashley shook her head.
"Please don't tell Pete, but," I arched my eyebrows and looked up at her.
"What?" I asked and Ashley sighed, closing her eyes briefly.
"I...I'm going to be here for a while, Jenny," she breathed and I bit my lip, knowing.
"How long?" I crocked and my left hand trailed away from my lap to find Patrick's which he responded to quickly, scooting closer and clasping my hand in a sandwich.
"Until...until it's over," she breathed.
My heart stopped.
----------
I woke up on my couch, the smell Taco Bell in the air. I sat up straight and felt the blankets that were covering me fall and smiled at the dancing panda print.
"You're up," I heard and turned to see Patrick walking in, holding a bag of food and a tired look in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," I involuntarily spoke and he shook his head as he made his way over.
"You had every right to pass out, but man, I'm I worn out," I smirked as he handed me the food and took an exhausted seat next to me, shedding his hoodie and lifting his hat for a moment to ruffle his hair before fixing his glasses as well.
"That's what I'm sorry about, I...I kinda freaked there," I whispered and looked down at my slightly now warm lap. Patrick reached over and pulled a soft taco out of the bag before sighing.
"Ashley told me that you needed to come home anyways, she made me call Joe and Andy to switch off with us for a while. I blinked down at my meal and gulped.
"Patrick," I started and he looked over, mouth poised open as he was about to take a bite. "Ashley's dying," I spoke just above a whisper and my left hand shook. Patrick put his food down before placing it on the coffee table and pushed mine as well. He turned towards me and took my hands, making me look over as he bit his lip.
"Jenny, she's got a while...and...she wants you to be strong, and she knows you can be, because you're a Chaotic. You are Ashley, and she is you," I nodded once and took a deep breath.
"I'm so scared of being alone," I whispered and Patrick tightened the grip.
"So is she, and you'll both have somebody always by your side," I nodded again and silence fell around us as I thought. A smile formed on my lips and I looked up.
"You know what's so funny?" I asked and Patrick raised an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked and I caught eyes with him.
"My mother always used to tell me and Ashley the only difference between us was our eye color," Patrick smiled and nodded.
"Ashley brown and you blue," I nodded and looked over at the food.
"Patrick?" I asked and looked back to see him in somewhat deep thought.
"Hmm?" he asked and I smirked.
"The foods' getting cold,"
----------
In the morning after Patrick left, I was surprised by a visit from somebody I least expected to be coming to my front door step.
"Pete?" I asked as I jumped backwards a bit. His bloodshot eyes blinked slowly as he bit his lip and held a small dandelion that was already blew out in his hands. I ushered him back out into the porch and watched as he sat down on the porch swing.
"I...I heard about Ashley," I widened my eyes as he sniffed, wiping his nose on his long sleeved shirt.
Odd for summer.
"How?" I asked and pushed off the banister to sit next to him.
"...Ashley called me..." I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath.
"Have you seen her yet?" I asked and caught his side profile, his eyes shifting slightly as he observed the small lawn in front of him.
"No," he said. "And I'm not going to," He finished and I narrowed my eyes slightly.
"Why?" I asked slowly and Pete's eyes trailed down to his lap before his head followed, his hand letting go of the dead plant.
"I don't know," he whispered and I took a sharp breath in.
"Pete, do you not...are you scared?" I changed my mind and he closed his eyes tight. "Are you afraid of seeing her /die/?" I asked and Pete gulped as tears peeked into my vision.
"Stop," I barley heard it, and ignored it.
"Do you want this?" I asked and Pete clenched his hands into fists. "Pete, do you care?" I asked and his eyes burst open, along with his lips parting as he stood.
"No, not at all,"
I physically had to call the ambulance to take an unconscious Ashley to the hospital. And in those four hours of sitting in the plastic blue chairs, every thought that crossed my mind was negative.
I couldn't help but think I was going to lose my sister.
----------
A cough escaped my lips as I made my way out front the emergency room sliding doors into the rather cold summer night. Wrapping my hoodie tighter around me I leaned into the phone booth and dialed the one person I knew would answer the phone.
"Um, hello?" I smiled.
"Patrick?" I asked and he sighed.
"Uhh, Jenny?" he asked back and I smirked.
"Yeah," I breathed and he fumbled with the phone a bit.
"It's rather late, you know," I sighed closing my eyes and nodded to myself.
"Patrick, Ashley's in the hospital," Chaotic sisters were blunt.
"Oh," he simply said and I sighed.
"Do...do you think you can come keep me company?" I asked and I heard him shuffle the phone again before sighing.
"Yea, I'll be there in a bit," I soon heard the dial tone and sighed, pulling myself off the metal and dragging my feet into the cold and empty waiting room. Fishing out some loose change I stood in front of the vending machine and pushed the small buttons, letting the caffeinated drink fall into my grasp.
"Goodworst?" God, I hated our last name.
"Yeah?" I croaked and the doctor smiled and ushered me over.
"You can see your sister now," he spoke and walked me down to a room where she was temporally stationed.
"Hi," I spoke as soon as he had disappeared. Ashley sighed and watched me with careful eyes as I took a seat next to her.
"I'm sorry you had to do this, Jenny," she whispered and I shook my head.
"Your ok, that's all that matters," I told her back and she reached out for my hand. I stared down at our identical hands for a while as I listened to her heart monitor beep steadily.
"Um, ladies, another visitor," We looked up at the same time to see a rugged, fast dressed Patrick in the doorway, the doctor slipping away as he walked over and sat next to me, scooting closer.
"Patrick?" Ashley asked and looked at me.
"I...I'm sorry," I whispered and Ashley shook her head.
"Please don't tell Pete, but," I arched my eyebrows and looked up at her.
"What?" I asked and Ashley sighed, closing her eyes briefly.
"I...I'm going to be here for a while, Jenny," she breathed and I bit my lip, knowing.
"How long?" I crocked and my left hand trailed away from my lap to find Patrick's which he responded to quickly, scooting closer and clasping my hand in a sandwich.
"Until...until it's over," she breathed.
My heart stopped.
----------
I woke up on my couch, the smell Taco Bell in the air. I sat up straight and felt the blankets that were covering me fall and smiled at the dancing panda print.
"You're up," I heard and turned to see Patrick walking in, holding a bag of food and a tired look in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," I involuntarily spoke and he shook his head as he made his way over.
"You had every right to pass out, but man, I'm I worn out," I smirked as he handed me the food and took an exhausted seat next to me, shedding his hoodie and lifting his hat for a moment to ruffle his hair before fixing his glasses as well.
"That's what I'm sorry about, I...I kinda freaked there," I whispered and looked down at my slightly now warm lap. Patrick reached over and pulled a soft taco out of the bag before sighing.
"Ashley told me that you needed to come home anyways, she made me call Joe and Andy to switch off with us for a while. I blinked down at my meal and gulped.
"Patrick," I started and he looked over, mouth poised open as he was about to take a bite. "Ashley's dying," I spoke just above a whisper and my left hand shook. Patrick put his food down before placing it on the coffee table and pushed mine as well. He turned towards me and took my hands, making me look over as he bit his lip.
"Jenny, she's got a while...and...she wants you to be strong, and she knows you can be, because you're a Chaotic. You are Ashley, and she is you," I nodded once and took a deep breath.
"I'm so scared of being alone," I whispered and Patrick tightened the grip.
"So is she, and you'll both have somebody always by your side," I nodded again and silence fell around us as I thought. A smile formed on my lips and I looked up.
"You know what's so funny?" I asked and Patrick raised an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked and I caught eyes with him.
"My mother always used to tell me and Ashley the only difference between us was our eye color," Patrick smiled and nodded.
"Ashley brown and you blue," I nodded and looked over at the food.
"Patrick?" I asked and looked back to see him in somewhat deep thought.
"Hmm?" he asked and I smirked.
"The foods' getting cold,"
----------
In the morning after Patrick left, I was surprised by a visit from somebody I least expected to be coming to my front door step.
"Pete?" I asked as I jumped backwards a bit. His bloodshot eyes blinked slowly as he bit his lip and held a small dandelion that was already blew out in his hands. I ushered him back out into the porch and watched as he sat down on the porch swing.
"I...I heard about Ashley," I widened my eyes as he sniffed, wiping his nose on his long sleeved shirt.
Odd for summer.
"How?" I asked and pushed off the banister to sit next to him.
"...Ashley called me..." I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath.
"Have you seen her yet?" I asked and caught his side profile, his eyes shifting slightly as he observed the small lawn in front of him.
"No," he said. "And I'm not going to," He finished and I narrowed my eyes slightly.
"Why?" I asked slowly and Pete's eyes trailed down to his lap before his head followed, his hand letting go of the dead plant.
"I don't know," he whispered and I took a sharp breath in.
"Pete, do you not...are you scared?" I changed my mind and he closed his eyes tight. "Are you afraid of seeing her /die/?" I asked and Pete gulped as tears peeked into my vision.
"Stop," I barley heard it, and ignored it.
"Do you want this?" I asked and Pete clenched his hands into fists. "Pete, do you care?" I asked and his eyes burst open, along with his lips parting as he stood.
"No, not at all,"
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