Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Not Sure If This Matters

Chapter 12- Set Your Clocks Early

by moocow 8 reviews

tis sad, tis sad. i'm at school. in journalsim and my friend emily is sitting next to me, reading. XD

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Romance - Warnings: [!!] [?] - Published: 2006-09-18 - Updated: 2006-09-18 - 1557 words

"We...we have a gig out in the city," I smiled as Joe told me this, packing his guitar up in the case.

"So, you guys are going to an hour away?" I asked and he nodded, walking back out into the living room where Andy and Adi sat on the couch.

"It's an early gig, know, if anything happens, it's ok that you call," I nodded and gulped, sitting next to Adi.

"Where are Pete and Patrick?" I asked and Andy sighed.

"Patrick took Pete to see Ashley," I shook my head.

"It's getting closer and closer each day," I whispered and Adi rubbed her hand over mine.

"Be strong, I know you've heard it this past month, but be strong," Andy smiled sympathetically and nodded.

"You have us," I smirked and nodded, watching Joe cross the room again with an amp.

"I do," I agreed and watched as the door opened to reveal a bummed out Pete and a ruffed up Patrick.

"She was asleep," Pete simply said and took the amp from Joe, helping automatically. Patrick crossed the room and landed next to me, turning slightly to observe my slightly saddened face.

"You doing ok?" he asked and I nodded before wiping some of the snow off his hat.

"I'm thinking it could be better," I whispered and gazed off for a moment. My thoughts went ragged as I thought about the next week.

It was the end of November and Ashley was more asleep more often, her face pale and body limp, and seemed to talk more about what she wanted. I closed my eyes briefly and scratched the back of my hand until a hand fell on my back.

"Do you want us to drop you off at the hospital?" Patrick asked and I swallowed hard before nodding.

"Yeah," I croaked. "Yeah,"


Ashley sat silently in front of me, her vision gazing off and her melodramatic pout resembled quite nicely on her lips. I blinked a few times before looking away.

"Jenny," she spoke and I looked back at her to see her staring at me directly.

"Yea?" I asked and Ashley gulped.

"I'm pregnant,"

Damn bluntness.

"What?" I asked, my eyes slightly widening.

"Two months now," she added and I swallowed a large lump.

"Ashley...what...when did, who?" I asked and Ashley closed her eyes.

"When you went away one night, Pete showed up, and...I don't know how it happened but I told him about him taking my virginity and he felt horrible for not knowing, and just happened," she said and I gulped.

"Ashley," I couldn't say anything else.

"I...I want you to tell him a long time from now...ok?" she asked and I nodded once before smiling through happy tears.

"I can't believe that I was going to be an aunt," I whispered, running my fingertips over her stomach.

"I...I think I could still be a mommy wither way...heaven awaits," I smiled and sniffed, wiping some of my tears away.

"The snow misses you," I smiled as she smirked, her eyes darting to the window where the shades were pulled open, the build-up of snow on the window's ledge showing.

"I miss outside so much," she admitted and I nodded.

"Ashley?" I asked and she hummed.

" you want to be buried next to mom?" I asked and Ashley gulped.

"Yea," she spoke to me and soon gripped my hand.

"I love you Ashley," I breathed and she nodded, catching my eyes.

"I love you Jenny,"


"And...and you gotta wish us good luck, Jenny, this is like a huge crowd," Joe yelled into the phone as I stood outside the hospital, on my cell phone, walking around with the warm coffee watching the snow fall lightly on the ground.

"Luck?" I asked and smirked. "All you need is a little prayer," Joe sighed.

"Pete's doing it for Ashley...he's so scared he's going to miss...well," he trailed off and I closed my eyes, understanding.

" your hearts out and do what you do, ok?" I asked and he smirked.

"I gotta get ready, talk to Pete," I smirked as Pete took the phone and mumbled something.

"How is everything?" he asked and I leaned against a wall.

"She's...awake, for now, and I talked to her earlier," Pete hummed and sighed.

"Could...could you tell her I love her when you go back up?" he asked and I bit my lip, slightly blushing for no reason.

"Sure," I said and Pete gulped, I could hear it.

"Here's Patrick," he suddenly said and the phone shuffled before I heard a rather excited voice.

"I'm so nervous, Jenny," he yelled over the background music and I smirked.

"You should be, first gig in a while," Patrick smirked.

"We really wish you could be here," he said next and I bit my lip.

"Chaotic sends love," Patrick sighed and laughed a little.

"Call if you need anything, alright?" he asked and I swallowed that familiar lump again.

"Ok, good luck, spread the word," I said and Patrick sighed.

"Send love over there," I smiled and hung up taking slow steps back inside where the receptionist caught eyes with me.

"Your sister wishes to see you," she said and I nodded walking down the hallway where I saw the doctor with a solemn look on his face.

"What?" I asked and he sighed.

" ends tonight," he simply said before stepping away, letting me walk into the room where Ashley halfway sat up, wires disconnected and her eyes watching me as I took a seat next to her.

"I'm so sorry it has to be like this, Jenny," she whispered in a raspy voice.

"Why so quickly?" I managed out and Ashley gulped.

"I love you," she changed the subject and I nodded.

"Pete wanted me to tell you that he loves you," Ashley bit her lip and took a shaky breath.

"Would you tell him that?" she asked and I took out my phone before redialing the digits.

"Hello? Jenny, we...we're about to go on stage,"

Oh god, not Pete.

"Pete," Ashley bit her lip as I struggled to speak. "She's...she's got tonight, two hours tops, Pete," I pleaded and all I heard was the dial tone. Ashley coughed a bit and I closed my eyes, tears slipping out.

"Stay with me," Ashley pleaded and I nodded before resting my head by her hip.

"Ashley?" I spoke aloud and heard her hum.

"Tell me anything," I said and she breathed out before replying.

"...Tell Pete...I said yes," I never got to question her.

My eyes fell and I dozed off.


"Jenny!" I shook awake to see Joe and Pete running into the hospital room only to stop dead in their tracks as they saw what I had not seen yet.

Looking up I saw Ashley with her eyes closed, one hand over her stomach and one rested by my head. She wasn't breathing. My bottom lip started to shake and I looked away as arms gathered around me, hoisting me up into a tight hug. I didn't pay attention to who it was. I only watched as Pete looked on, tears running down his face, before he fell to his knees and screamed out.

It was all over.


Ashley 'Chaotic' Daniela
1983- 2002
Closest thing to perfect

My eyes darted over every last detail of the tombstone as my hand dangled tight in Patrick's grasp, us silently watching as the priest went on, finishing up the ceremony. Joe stood behind me, one hand lightly on my waist as he made sure I didn't faint, which I had a habit of doing. Pete stood next to me, the only one not shedding any tears. I closed my eyes and let my head fall, it looking down.

"May Ashley find peace wherever she may be..." those words drifted into the chilly air on the Saturday December morning, the dead trees carrying it in the wind. The guests all departed and soon my friends did as well until it was Pete and Patrick on either side of me.

"I...I'll be in the car," Patrick whispered before tightening the grip lightly and letting go. I nodded before looking up at Pete who stood staring at the grave, the gold engraving illuminating in the light sun.

"I promised her so much," he whispered and I gulped before responding.

"She loves you, Pete," I said and he turned his head towards me.

"I know," he said and I pursed my lips together before sighing.

"Where does this put you Pete?" I asked and he took a while to respond.

"Back at the beginning," he simply said and I nodded before he crouched down to place something down on her grave. A blown out, half dead dandelion.

"What did you wish for?" I asked him and Pete stood in front of me, expressionless.

"I wished for the future to come quickly and the past to disappear,"

The whole world stopped and I focused my attention on the single crystal clear tear that fell from the corner of Pete's eye and down his cheek before his fell off his face and his lips parted.

"I wished for a new beginning,"
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