Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Not Sure If This Matters
Chapter 13- Are We Really Ready?
5 reviewsfreaking sweet, for those of you who didnt know, taht wasnt the end. it was just the middle. i still have alot of chapters planned. -evil smile-
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These days life went by without much question. It was a constant thing, the band put off practices for a while and the only big thing that had happened was Andy and Adi moving in together.
Patrick had still somewhat 'moved in' and took care of me- keeping Ashley's promise. It was hard to forget. Especially when I looked in the mirror I would see her. Ashley was still very much alive, whether we could see her or not, she was there.
Everywhere.
----------
"Oh Jenny," I peeked open my eyes and groaned as bright light hit my eyes. "Jenny, Jenny, Jenny,"
I swallowed the nasty taste in my mouth and leaded up only to find I was leaning against the bathtub, right in front of the toilet. Turning again I saw a sleep-deprived Patrick standing in the doorway hand now turning off the light and walking over.
"When did you get up?" he croaked and I shrugged, noticing the vomit in the toilet. I flushed it and sighed, clearing my throat.
"What time is it?" I asked and Patrick smirked.
"4, I needed to use the bathroom," I gripped the counter and stood up walking towards the door.
"Good night then, again," I mumbled and closed the door behind me, making my way down the hallway where I took a seat on my vanity chair.
My eyes danced across its contents and sighed as I noticed Ashley's pink bow sitting there. For a second I glanced up at the mirror and stared myself down before my heart felt heavy and all I saw was Ashley.
Rational thinking made my hand raise and clench together, and in an instant, I was angry. The glass shattered at my fist and knuckles, and I hissed as I felt the blood trickle down my wrist, fast footsteps heard in the hallway.
Regret ran through my veins as I caught eyes with Patrick before he came over and cradled my right hand before wiping it with a cloth that was on my dresser.
"Come on," he whispered and I stood shakily as he guided me back to the bathroom, and I watched him get the first aid kit out, rubbing at his tired eyes as he stepped back over.
Sighing, I let him take my hand and wrap it up, the bandage going in-between my fingers, the burn of the alcohol not bothering me.
"I...I understand what's going inside your head, Jenny," he said, fixated on wrapping my hand.
I nodded.
"I don't," I replied and he cleared his throat.
"You see her, and it...it makes you," I bit my lip.
"It makes me remember what we all are trying to forget," Patrick finished and looked up, nodding.
"It's only been two months, Jenny...things like Ashley are hard to forget," I turned my head and wrung my hands together while Patrick sighed.
"Especially when I'm a slitting image of her, I haven't seen Pete since the funeral," Patrick shook his head and turned my head back towards his gaze.
"Blue eyes," he simply said and lightly smiled- his own blue dancing across my face. "Beautiful blue," A light blush rose to my neck and I lightly smiled before nodding.
"I understand," I whispered and Patrick dropped his hand and took my injured one next, looking down at it.
"You stay with me tonight, ok, I made a promise, and I'm gonna keep it," I smiled and nodded before yawning.
"Anything you say, Tricky,"
----------
"Jenny," My name was breathlessly said as Pete answered the door, a light smile on his face. "I was thinking maybe you hated me or something," I smirked as he let me in and brought me into the living room where I saw his bass out and about ten notebooks on the coffee table, scrunched up lined paper strewn about the floor.
"Writers block?" I asked as I took a seat and Pete smirked, sitting down next to me and grabbing the one that was open.
"Kinda," he paused. "I want another gig, but...you know," I nodded and sneaked my hand in to grab the notebook and skimmed over it.
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say
"Pete," I whispered and looked up to see his lip tucked into his mouth.
"What?" he asked and I smiled.
"You seriously have to make a demo," Pete raised an eyebrow and I swallowed, sighing. "Send it out, this..." I pointed down at the scribbled words. "This is what you do," Pete nodded.
"I guess," he mumbled and I shook my head and took his face in my hands.
"It's what Ashley wanted, you to be happy," Pete's eyes shifted across my face before he nodded.
"Recording jam tonight, sleepover? I miss those," he mumbled and I smiled brightly before nodding.
"Patrick's garage, feels like home there," Pete nodded and looked down at the paper again.
"My hands are tied to pages inked to bring you back," he said to himself and I blinked slowly before leaning against him and resting my head on his shoulder.
"I miss her too," I whispered and closed my eyes all the way.
"/I miss her too/,"
----------
I was writing out labels for the mix tapes while the boys played, the little recorder in the back catching every note- every word. Adi smiled next to me and sighed, and when I looked up I couldn't help but have a premonition.
What was seen right before my eyes were my boys all grown up, lights flashing all around, better guitars and their new found name on the drum set. But in an instant, it was all gone as Adi waved in front of my face.
"You look like you want to jump Patrick's bones, stop staring," I shook my head and turned to her.
"I was daydreaming, but...not about him," She smirked and rolled her eyes and I smacked her arm.
"I'm /serious/!" I hissed and Adi laughed as the boys finished the last song.
"So, labels, ladies?" Joe asked, falling down next to me and snatching them. I shook my head and sighed as Pete fell on the other side of me, overlooking my shoulder.
"I hope this all goes through, after all, this was your idea, Jenny," I smirked and rolled my eyes.
"Do you not trust me?" I asked and Pete shrugged, Patrick coming over with the tape.
"So, send it out and...then what?" Andy patted him on the back as I placed the label carefully on the tape before closing the case and wiggling it in my fingers.
"We wait," Andy said and I nodded.
"And hope," Joe laughed.
"Pray to Moses," Pete smacked him and they began to chase each other on the front lawn out front the garage. I sighed and shook my head.
"We...we believe that we can do this," I whispered and looked down at my hands, nodding to myself.
"We believe..."
----------
I was fully aware that I was half dressed and still tired from the doorbell awaking my Saturday sleep but I opened the door none-the-less only to be mauled and pushed to the floor, a slender and rather familiar body falling on top of me.
"Oof," I called out and turned my head to see a hat of camouflage, that oh-so-familiar hat, that is and sighed catching the turquoise eyes.
"Glad to see me, or are you on speed?" I asked and Patrick leaned up, bracing himself on either side of me, hovering as I brushed the hair out of my face.
"Wegotarecorddeal!!!!"
Hubbita-Wha?
I arched an eyebrow and Patrick leaned back onto his knees and closed the front door as I sat up, and in the oddest way possible noticed he was straddling my upper thighs.
It was...weird.
"Ok, ok, slow the fuck down, Patty," The nickname he usually hated went un-noticed as he smiled brightly and nodded again.
"Look!" he tore out a piece of paper and wiggled it in front of my face.
"Fueled by Ramen? What?" I asked and Patrick smiled wider, if that was possible.
"RECORD DEAL!" he yelled and a gasp formed on my lips as my heart skipped a beat and my breathing stopped.
"Holy shit," I breathed and whispered and Patrick nodded vigorously again before smiling at my expression.
"I know!" I shook my head, amazed and stood up, Patrick following.
"You guys are amazing," Patrick swallowed, somewhat going back to normal and accepted my hug, holding back just as tight.
"Your /amazinger/,"
So amazing I didn't even need a real word to describe me?
God, I love this kid.
Patrick had still somewhat 'moved in' and took care of me- keeping Ashley's promise. It was hard to forget. Especially when I looked in the mirror I would see her. Ashley was still very much alive, whether we could see her or not, she was there.
Everywhere.
----------
"Oh Jenny," I peeked open my eyes and groaned as bright light hit my eyes. "Jenny, Jenny, Jenny,"
I swallowed the nasty taste in my mouth and leaded up only to find I was leaning against the bathtub, right in front of the toilet. Turning again I saw a sleep-deprived Patrick standing in the doorway hand now turning off the light and walking over.
"When did you get up?" he croaked and I shrugged, noticing the vomit in the toilet. I flushed it and sighed, clearing my throat.
"What time is it?" I asked and Patrick smirked.
"4, I needed to use the bathroom," I gripped the counter and stood up walking towards the door.
"Good night then, again," I mumbled and closed the door behind me, making my way down the hallway where I took a seat on my vanity chair.
My eyes danced across its contents and sighed as I noticed Ashley's pink bow sitting there. For a second I glanced up at the mirror and stared myself down before my heart felt heavy and all I saw was Ashley.
Rational thinking made my hand raise and clench together, and in an instant, I was angry. The glass shattered at my fist and knuckles, and I hissed as I felt the blood trickle down my wrist, fast footsteps heard in the hallway.
Regret ran through my veins as I caught eyes with Patrick before he came over and cradled my right hand before wiping it with a cloth that was on my dresser.
"Come on," he whispered and I stood shakily as he guided me back to the bathroom, and I watched him get the first aid kit out, rubbing at his tired eyes as he stepped back over.
Sighing, I let him take my hand and wrap it up, the bandage going in-between my fingers, the burn of the alcohol not bothering me.
"I...I understand what's going inside your head, Jenny," he said, fixated on wrapping my hand.
I nodded.
"I don't," I replied and he cleared his throat.
"You see her, and it...it makes you," I bit my lip.
"It makes me remember what we all are trying to forget," Patrick finished and looked up, nodding.
"It's only been two months, Jenny...things like Ashley are hard to forget," I turned my head and wrung my hands together while Patrick sighed.
"Especially when I'm a slitting image of her, I haven't seen Pete since the funeral," Patrick shook his head and turned my head back towards his gaze.
"Blue eyes," he simply said and lightly smiled- his own blue dancing across my face. "Beautiful blue," A light blush rose to my neck and I lightly smiled before nodding.
"I understand," I whispered and Patrick dropped his hand and took my injured one next, looking down at it.
"You stay with me tonight, ok, I made a promise, and I'm gonna keep it," I smiled and nodded before yawning.
"Anything you say, Tricky,"
----------
"Jenny," My name was breathlessly said as Pete answered the door, a light smile on his face. "I was thinking maybe you hated me or something," I smirked as he let me in and brought me into the living room where I saw his bass out and about ten notebooks on the coffee table, scrunched up lined paper strewn about the floor.
"Writers block?" I asked as I took a seat and Pete smirked, sitting down next to me and grabbing the one that was open.
"Kinda," he paused. "I want another gig, but...you know," I nodded and sneaked my hand in to grab the notebook and skimmed over it.
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say
"Pete," I whispered and looked up to see his lip tucked into his mouth.
"What?" he asked and I smiled.
"You seriously have to make a demo," Pete raised an eyebrow and I swallowed, sighing. "Send it out, this..." I pointed down at the scribbled words. "This is what you do," Pete nodded.
"I guess," he mumbled and I shook my head and took his face in my hands.
"It's what Ashley wanted, you to be happy," Pete's eyes shifted across my face before he nodded.
"Recording jam tonight, sleepover? I miss those," he mumbled and I smiled brightly before nodding.
"Patrick's garage, feels like home there," Pete nodded and looked down at the paper again.
"My hands are tied to pages inked to bring you back," he said to himself and I blinked slowly before leaning against him and resting my head on his shoulder.
"I miss her too," I whispered and closed my eyes all the way.
"/I miss her too/,"
----------
I was writing out labels for the mix tapes while the boys played, the little recorder in the back catching every note- every word. Adi smiled next to me and sighed, and when I looked up I couldn't help but have a premonition.
What was seen right before my eyes were my boys all grown up, lights flashing all around, better guitars and their new found name on the drum set. But in an instant, it was all gone as Adi waved in front of my face.
"You look like you want to jump Patrick's bones, stop staring," I shook my head and turned to her.
"I was daydreaming, but...not about him," She smirked and rolled her eyes and I smacked her arm.
"I'm /serious/!" I hissed and Adi laughed as the boys finished the last song.
"So, labels, ladies?" Joe asked, falling down next to me and snatching them. I shook my head and sighed as Pete fell on the other side of me, overlooking my shoulder.
"I hope this all goes through, after all, this was your idea, Jenny," I smirked and rolled my eyes.
"Do you not trust me?" I asked and Pete shrugged, Patrick coming over with the tape.
"So, send it out and...then what?" Andy patted him on the back as I placed the label carefully on the tape before closing the case and wiggling it in my fingers.
"We wait," Andy said and I nodded.
"And hope," Joe laughed.
"Pray to Moses," Pete smacked him and they began to chase each other on the front lawn out front the garage. I sighed and shook my head.
"We...we believe that we can do this," I whispered and looked down at my hands, nodding to myself.
"We believe..."
----------
I was fully aware that I was half dressed and still tired from the doorbell awaking my Saturday sleep but I opened the door none-the-less only to be mauled and pushed to the floor, a slender and rather familiar body falling on top of me.
"Oof," I called out and turned my head to see a hat of camouflage, that oh-so-familiar hat, that is and sighed catching the turquoise eyes.
"Glad to see me, or are you on speed?" I asked and Patrick leaned up, bracing himself on either side of me, hovering as I brushed the hair out of my face.
"Wegotarecorddeal!!!!"
Hubbita-Wha?
I arched an eyebrow and Patrick leaned back onto his knees and closed the front door as I sat up, and in the oddest way possible noticed he was straddling my upper thighs.
It was...weird.
"Ok, ok, slow the fuck down, Patty," The nickname he usually hated went un-noticed as he smiled brightly and nodded again.
"Look!" he tore out a piece of paper and wiggled it in front of my face.
"Fueled by Ramen? What?" I asked and Patrick smiled wider, if that was possible.
"RECORD DEAL!" he yelled and a gasp formed on my lips as my heart skipped a beat and my breathing stopped.
"Holy shit," I breathed and whispered and Patrick nodded vigorously again before smiling at my expression.
"I know!" I shook my head, amazed and stood up, Patrick following.
"You guys are amazing," Patrick swallowed, somewhat going back to normal and accepted my hug, holding back just as tight.
"Your /amazinger/,"
So amazing I didn't even need a real word to describe me?
God, I love this kid.
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