FicWad

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: I am planning on posting this story to fanfiction.net, ficwad, hpfanfic archive, and an archive of our own. I will use the same name (zugrian) on all websites.

In other news, for people wondering about the Imperius curse scene, it was easier for Harry and Pansy to throw off the curse because neither of them are truly evil/dark/whatever enough yet to use the spell the way a Death Eater would.

I chose to reveal the time turner early because that was something that I found to be really stupid in the books. Especially considering we know other people have somehow gotten 12 OWLS- both Bill Weasley & Barty Crouch Jr.- it makes one wonder if they regularly give out time turners to teenagers. If so, the ministry is even more moronic.

In any case, I couldn't have Harry be that brain dead for months on end to never figure it out. Plus, Hermione is not some master spy who would never get caught.

I am also changing something about Hogsmeade. In canon, it seems that there are only about 3 or 4 Hogsmeade weekends per year, as needed for plot purposes only. This doesn't make sense to me on a number of levels. For one thing, its not like the teachers actually supervise the students. For another, several of the businesses in the town seem like they depend to a large extent on the students- the candy and joke shops for example- so having so incredibly few visits doesn't make sense. For the purposes of this story, Hogsmeade visits are going to be more common and the first one occurs at the beginning of October, not on Halloween as in canon.

Finally, the sex scene seems to have had a good response. There will be more sex in this story, although I doubt it will ever veer into true smut. If Harry (or my own 13 year old self) were in charge, things would be very different. Although I doubt 85 straight chapters of sex scenes would really be that interesting to read.

-oOoOoOo-

"Good morning, beautiful."

It was more than a bit late Saturday morning, but they had been up very late into the night. Pansy was just stirring awake in his arms as she looked up at Harry. He had that goofy smile on his face again.

"What's that look for?"

"I'm pretty sure that was the best night of my life. And I might be kind of hoping that we could just spend the day in bed.

"Or we could try the couch.

"Or the bathroom."

"We probably should have taken another shower before we went to sleep but it seemed like you were trying to wear me out, my Lord."

"I accept full responsibility for being unable to control myself around my gorgeous and thoroughly naked girlfriend. I promise to be equally out of control in the future as well.

"So, should we take a shower this morning?"

"I think we should each take a shower this morning."

"But that would be a lot less fun."

"More likely to actually get done though, if you aren't in there to distract me. I am starving this morning, if it even is still morning."

"We've still got almost fifty minutes of morning."

"Plenty of time to be ready for lunch then."

"If you insist." He shifted a bit on the bed and she could hear him smelling her hair.

"I can't imagine that I smell good, Harry. Last night was probably the sweatiest I've ever been."

"Sweaty Pansy makes me think of Sexy Pansy, so you smell wonderful to me."

She chuckled and snuggled against him. She was surprised that she didn't find his odor to be too unpleasant either.

"You know, you actually tasted better than I thought you would. From what I'd read, I expected it to be more bitter and salty. I'd even found a charm to make the taste more enjoyable. I guess I won't need it now."

"I've been eating differently lately."

"You mean all the fruit?"

"Yeah, and I've cut back on all the heavy fatty food. In the muggle world, eating lots of meat and salty foods leads to a lot of health problems. It's got to be part of the reason my uncle and cousin were so fat.

"Making me taste better for you just sealed the deal."

"Plus, it means more bacon for Hedwig."

"Yeah, I've got to keep her happy."

"Is that why you took out a subscription to the Daily Prophet?"

"In part, yes. I wanted her to have something to do since almost all of my mail is now routed through the wards Sam helped me set up. And I don't want her to get mad at Postmaster Dobby."

"The little guy really does seem to love sorting all your mail."

"As long as it makes him happy." They shared a chuckle and relaxed together, neither really wanting that badly to get up. Dobby would be all too pleased to bring them food, but Pansy knew that Harry was already spending a lot less time in public. His friends had noticed, and Granger was going to be nosy again one of these days. But first, she wanted to ask him something.

"Speaking of taste..."

"I'll let you get up soon, I promise," he said as he stroked her back. "I'm getting hungry too."

"Not that. I was wondering how I tasted to you."

"Oh. Well, there's not a very strong taste at all really. Once we'd been going at it for awhile and you were getting all sweaty, it was slightly tangy and salty."

"Did it smell?" There was something unusually frail in her voice.

"Pansy, why are you acting so insecure this morning? I'd think that last night would have proven that I find you delectable. You taste and smell delicious. If it were possible to get nutrition, I would just eat you for breakfast," Harry said with a good-natured laugh.

"I know, it's just..." she sighed and took a moment to continue. "A couple of years ago, I overheard my parents fighting one night. I think it might have been one of the last times my mother tried to get him to have sex with her. He called her a worthless drunken slut and said...

"He said she had a smelly, nasty pussy."

"Damn. That's awful."

"It gets worse," she shivered a bit in his arms. "He said that it was no wonder his son had been stillborn from her poisoned twat. He called her all sorts of terrible names. There was so much venom and hate in his voice. It traumatized me a bit, I think. I just worried that maybe I inherited something from her, something that would have made me, something that..."

"Shh," he crooned into her ear as she started to get upset. "Pansy, I promise you that nothing could be further from the truth. You can't really think that considering I went down on you for, what, two or three hours last night?"

That got a laugh from her.

"I know. It's just an old irrational fear."

"Well, I will gladly help fight it off if you don't mind being late for lunch."

"Thanks, Harry. But I am really hungry."

"And you don't want to share a shower either?"

"Didn't you get enough last night?"

"I think if I ever get enough of you, that will be the saddest day of my life. And I've had more than a few sad days already."

"You say the sweetest things at the right times," she said as she started to sit up. She leaned down and kissed him. "I love you, Harry."

"I love you too. I still think we should shower together though." She laughed at his exaggerated pout.

"Just think of it this way- we'll make sure that when we do try that out we'll have all the time we want."

"Next weekend then," he leered at her. "All next weekend."

"We'll see, my Lord."

-oOoOoOo-

They did make it to lunch that day, and only a few minutes late too. They ended up spending most of the weekend outdoors. The weather was still nice and warm. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny spent several hours with them. Neville joined them for awhile Saturday afternoon. The twins made a boisterous appearance as well. And Sunday afternoon, Pansy followed Harry to the pitch as Wood put the Gryffindor team through its first truly grueling practice.

The good news was that Pansy had finished most of her assignments for the next few days by the time the quidditch practice came to an end at dinner time.

The bad news was that she was finding it much harder not to hate his friends.

Harry had been in an unusually good mood and the girls wanted to know why. Nosy Granger was blunt and Harry responded by deflecting, saying he'd gotten a lot of work done on a couple of long term projects. She pushed for more, Harry refused, and she complained until Weasley told her to knock it off so that he could enjoy his weekend. The redhead was a bit rude about it, and Pansy for once approved of his behavior.

Little Ginny Weasley, on the other hand, merely watched Harry and Pansy closely. Very closely. She might have thought she had some idea of why Harry was so happy and care free, but Pansy doubted the younger girl really knew much. She seemed quite innocent, despite what Harry had told Pansy of her previous year.

A vindictive part of Pansy wanted to drag the little ginger girl off and tell her exactly why Harry was in such a good mood. She could just imagine the look of shock. Instead, she hid a small smug grin and buried the thought. Better to keep people guessing for as long as possible.

As for the boys, well, they were just boys. Annoying boys. And quidditch practice was much more boring than watching a game, even when Harry did blast around the field chasing the snitch. By the time they went to bed Sunday night, she was almost glad to be going back to class. At least a couple of them were interesting.

-oOoOoOo-

Harry did not get to spend the next weekend showering with Pansy for hours on end. But he did get to go to Hogsmeade.

-oOoOoOo-

It had been a month now, and people seemed to mostly have gotten used to Pansy and Harry being attached at the hip. She called herself his shadow as a joke that Brown overheard and more than a few people now called her that in whispers when they didn't think she was paying attention. Pansy was pretty much always paying attention though.

Except when she was daydreaming, I mean scheming, about her future with Harry. She certainly wasn't thinking of just how much fun they had at night together. And there was no chance that anyone ever noticed her staring off into space with a mostly vacant look on her face.

She looked fairly normal that Saturday morning, although Harry seemed to be pouting a bit. Her cramps were much better since she'd been with Harry. She smiled to herself briefly- if not for her period, she might not be going to Hogsmeade this weekend. Harry apparently wasn't joking when he said that he wanted to spend all weekend showering together. He was just going to have to cope with second prize.

That meant she was going to have to cope with his friends as well. At least little Ginny Weasley wasn't going to be able to follow them around today. She was pouting a bit too.

Her brother was being his usual disgusting self, with a second plate full of food piled high. Granger had an Arithmancy book at the table; she needed to study even during meals on the weekend. It was rude, but it meant less of her bossy voice nagging away. She did have the decency to chew with her mouth closed though, so she was still miles ahead of Weasley.

Patil and Brown had taken to sitting near her occasionally and they were sometimes amusing. Today, they were discussing their outfits, which they had put a lot of thought and effort into judging by how much they rambled on about them. They were both also wearing more make up than many older students. They had to look their best for their first visit to Hogsmeade, obviously. It was kind of silly, but Pansy did at least give them a point about making a good first appearance.

By comparison, Granger looked downright terrible. Her hair was her usual mess, her jumper was a size too big and an awful color for her, and her muggle jeans were neither stylish nor form fitting. Of course, she didn't have much of a figure yet, even though she was one of the older girls in their year. This was a very good thing, as she was clearly Harry's second favorite girl. Pansy was pleased by how little competition she had for his affection.

Especially considering how attractive the other two Gryffindor girls were becoming. Brown, for her part, had developed quite a bit. When the pig finally paused before his third plate of breakfast, he blatantly stared at her chest. Brown took it as a compliment even as Patil called him a rude jerk. Pansy might have been the only one who noticed how angrily Granger glared at him as well. Hmm, that was interesting.

Patil was more slender and still somewhat short. But she had very attractive features, as well as a dusky exotic beauty that a lot of men would appreciate. Plus, Pansy had seen her give Harry a look on more than one occasion. She would need to keep an eye on that one.

They were eventually all heading out together on the path to the gates.

"Do you two want to join us on the ride to town?" Pansy offered. There was enough room for six comfortably in the carriages and she didn't want to have to ride with any of the mongrels- that being most of the Gryffindor boys.

"Sure, Pansy, assuming the rest of you don't mind," Patil answered.

"Oi, Harry, they're gonna have us out manned."

"So?"

"Don't tell me you actually want to hang out with a bunch of girls?"

"It is always a pleasure to be surrounded by beautiful women," Harry said as he sat down next to Pansy. Patil and Brown were both slightly blushing and smiling at Harry, whereas Granger was bright red as she climbed in. "If you aren't going to join us, I might be able to get another lovely lady to sit next to me."

Weasley stammered and turned an awful color that clashed atrociously with his hair but sat down on Harry's other side. The worst thing about the Weasleys, other than being incredibly annoying, and how many of them there, and their terrible manners, was that they were all gingers.

"Consider yourself lucky Ron. We'll put up with you for Harry's sake," Brown said as she giggled and fluttered her eyelashes at Harry. Okay, maybe Pansy was going to have to keep an eye on both of them.

"Ron, if you haven't noticed, I spend most of my time hanging out with Pansy and Hermione. Not to mention half my quidditch teammates, the attractive half- no matter how highly Fred and George think of themselves- are females. So, no, I clearly don't mind hanging out with a bunch of girls."

That finally shut the moron up.

The girls spent the next few minutes chatting about what they were most interested in seeing once they got to Hogsmeade. Not surprisingly, Brown and Patil were headed for Gladrags first off, while Granger wanted to go to the book store. Shocking, right?

The weasel wanted to hit the joke shop. Could he get any more obnoxious? Pansy quickly banished that thought because the answer was most assuredly, yes, he could get a lot more obnoxious.

Once they reached the village, Weasley jumped out of the carriage as soon as he could. Granger followed him. Harry, ever the gentleman, helped Brown and Patil climb down. Pansy followed them out with an annoyed snort even as she took his offered hand. He chuckled at her, and she was going to make him pay for that.

She noticed him stop at the front of the carriage while the others started to walk off.

"Can you see them?"

"See what?" Harry's hand was moving through the air strangely.

"The creatures that pull the carriage. I saw most of the others walk right past them."

Pansy frowned at this. He better not be joking with her- Pansy wasn't in the mood.

"Here, give me your hand." He didn't wait for her reply and she found herself stroking something she could not see.

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure. They look sort of like very thin horses, only they have wings on their backs."

"And you can see them but I can't. That's very strange."

"Yes. I suppose I could ask Hagrid what they are."

"Harry, come on!" Weasley and Granger were waiting for them. Pansy walked in front of him for once as Harry took a last moment to pet the unnamed invisible creatures. She could feel his eyes watching her- there was a reason she wore this blue dress today. It looked good on her, and she knew Harry loved it. It was just a tiny bit shorter on her now too. He deserved to be teased by her, especially after she put up with Patil and Brown smiling and giggling at him. That was totally his fault- stupid, charming Potter.

Honeydukes was one of the first stores they came upon and all of them were interested. Harry and Granger, not having grown up in the magical world, were examining everything as the weasel rambled on about all the different candies. Pansy went straight to the chocolate.

"My Lord, wouldst thou be good enough to buy your humble servant something?"

"Of course, milady," he answered with a smile as he walked over to her. 'Dammit, stop being so charming you handsome idiot!'

"A gentleman should learn this, Harry, that women love chocolate. But at certain times, they love it even more," she told him in a low voice and gave him a meaningful glare.

"Are you saying I should buy you half the store?" he whispered with a wink.

"Are you saying that we should sleep in separate rooms tonight?" She whispered angrily at him.

Needless to say, he bought her the damn chocolate.

Before he bought anything else though, he called Granger and Weasley over.

"If anyone wants to buy something to take back to the castle, I suggest we come back later. As warm as it is, I don't want to carry a bag of candy around all day, especially if some of it might get all melty and sticky."

"Good thinking, Harry. I'll have to be careful not to spend too much at Zonko's."

"Can we go to the bookstore next?"

"We should probably do that later too. Unless you really want to carry around a dozen pounds of books all day."

"I'm not going to buy that many books, Harry."

"You might," he replied with a grin. "I'm not even saying you shouldn't buy that many, let's just go there this afternoon instead. I might want to buy something as well."

"How about Zonko's then?"

"Fine with me. Pansy?"

"If we must."

The weasel chattered on and on about the place before they even got there. The running commentary kept up as they wandered through the store. It was all juvenile and annoying, just what a Weasley would like. They also had the misfortune of running into the older twin gingers there. Pansy stood behind Harry, as far away from the discussion of dung bombs and other assorted nonsense.

"I'm definitely going to get some dung bombs. What about you, Harry?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"I know, there's so much cool stuff in here. It's hard to pick, right?"

"Actually, I was thinking that I wouldn't want any of you to know what I might buy in here."

"Why not?" the ginger whined.

"Because I want plausible deniability."

"Huh?"

"He means he doesn't want anyone to know it might have been him that pranked them, Ronald." Granger often seemed to use his full name when he was bothering her with his stupidity. Pansy was surprised it wasn't much more often.

"Oh. Well, you can still buy some stuff. Hermione will keep people from seeing what you get, won't you?" The bookworm responded with a nicely done glare and huff combo. Times like this made Pansy almost like her.

"I might come back later." Harry said as he gave a little wink to Pansy.

"But why?"

"Don't worry about it Ron."

"Fine."

As the other two got in line, Harry led Pansy into an empty aisle and threw his invisibility cloak over them. He put a finger to his lips and they quietly snuck outside. Harry led her around the side of the building to a small empty alley. It was a nice cool spot in the shade. He pressed her up against the wall and began kissing her hard and fast. It was passionate and unexpected and Pansy thoroughly enjoyed it, in spite of her cranky mood. She grabbed the back of his head as he began to suck on her neck and soon she let out a moan of pleasure.

Just as suddenly, he stopped.

"We should go back inside," he said and she growled in response.

"You'll pay for that."

"You're the one who's been teasing me all day," he snorted. "And I didn't get my weekend long shower, so I'm extra frustrated. So, you can just join me in the boat of frustration."

"This boat's going down."

"God, I hope so."

"You're incorrigible."

"And you love me for it."

"Maybe." She knew he was right, but that didn't mean she was going to tell him that. "You're friends just came out. Shall we sneak back inside to get something to prank them with?"

"Was I that obvious?"

"To everyone but your pal Weasley, yes."

When they went back in, Harry considered getting something called Frog Spawn Soap, but Pansy suggested that most of the guys he knew didn't bathe regularly enough for that to be a good idea. They settled on Bulbadox powder, a nasty little trick that would cause boils. She was not so secretly thrilled at Harry picking something a bit more mean than she expected.

Pansy followed Harry as he hurried out to catch up with his friends. Surely, he wouldn't mind if she borrowed just a bit of the powder for her own nefarious purposes.

They had a slightly late lunch at the Three Broomsticks once the weasel's stomach started growling louder than their voices.

Professor Sprout gave her a little smile as she sat down next to Harry. The Herbology professor had been nicer than usual to the two of them, and it worried Pansy to no end. But she made no other gesture, and soon headed out of the tavern.

As they ate, Granger started a conversation asking what everyone thought of the elective classes so far. She loved Arithmancy and Runes. Seemingly everything was just so fascinating to Granger. It was really too much for Pansy.

Weasley didn't like Divination and complained mightily about it. Even the bookworm had trouble coming up with anything good to say about the class. Harry smirked at Pansy and told her how glad he was that they weren't wasting their time with that class. Granger frowned as he glanced at her.

Pansy wasn't that impressed with any of them yet, but Harry was really loving Runes. Since he had such fun practical experience with them, he had taken to reading a lot more about them.

In fact, when they went to the bookstore that afternoon, Harry bought two books about runes. One of them focused specifically on warding, and Pansy hoped he would find everything they might need to know about defending whatever place they chose to call home in the future. Part of that process might have to wait till the summer though, as Harry had inherited several properties and wanted her input on deciding what to do with any of them.

Granger bought a stack of books just as expected.

They swung back by Honeyduke's at the end of the day, and Harry bought Pansy even more chocolate. So, maybe he wasn't in as much trouble. He even bought chocolate bars for Granger and the Weasley girl. Pansy wasn't as pleased by that, but she knew why Harry was trying to keep an eye on her after what she had been through last year. Pansy understood, logically, why he needed to make sure his best friend's little sister didn't have any further problems after being possessed by the Dark Lord's old diary. That was kind of funny in and of itself. The Dark Lord's Diary.

'Dear Diary, today I decided to intimidate a bunch of brainless purebloods into following me on my quest for power. They will, of course, all pay for everything as I grew up in a muggle orphanage. Also, I hate my daddy because he was a muggle. I hate everyone else just because I'm kind of prick. Also, I totally love purebloods. But if they don't support my special brand of idiocy, then they are blood traitors! That's right, I get to decide who is the right kind of pureblood. Not that I am one, but, shh, don't tell anybody that.'

It made Pansy wonder a bit at why so many people like her father would bow to that maniac.

She was brought out of her musings by an interesting sight.

Just across the road, Narcissa Malfoy was approaching her son.

-oOoOoOo-

Harry's day had been at times frustrating (the lack of sexy shower time with Pansy), at times a lot of fun (exploring the shops of Hogsmeade), and at times just confusing- as tall as Ron was, he had to have at least started puberty. So why did he still have such an attitude about girls? He was pretty sure that he'd seen Ron checking out Lavender's cleavage earlier, but then he nearly threw a fit about riding in the carriage with her. It made no sense to Harry. As a horny teenage guy, he would gladly be around as many girls as possible. Not that Pansy needed to hear that little particular thought, especially not with her mood today.

Despite that surliness, Harry was definitely in love with her. He didn't mind how she teased him, and he hoped that she enjoyed it in a similar way. Grumpy Pansy was still Pansy. He was even amused by her insulting comments about his friends at times, especially when Ron and Hermione started arguing about their pets. Which was often lately. Ron's useless lazy rat that probably pissed everywhere and Hermione's ugly fat cat that seemed to get under foot or in your way at all the most annoying times. That was probably a metaphor, if Harry really wanted to think about it.

Harry put all of these thoughts away as he saw Draco and his mother. This could make today so much better.

He didn't notice the looks on the faces behind him as he walked across the road towards the Malfoys. He would have seen Ron's disgust and Hermione's slight annoyance. And he might have been a bit afraid of the wheels clearly spinning as Pansy began scheming a new plot.

"Greetings, Lady Malfoy," he said pleasantly. Draco scowled as Narcissa turned around and favored him with a smile.

"Lord Potter, what a pleasure."

"I hope you've been well since we last met." Man, he really loved the sheer loathing on Draco's face right now. His mother's amusement was pretty lovely too.

"I have no complaints. I heard from Draco that you have a new member of your house," she said with a slightly raised eyebrow. "Hello, Pansy. I trust Lord Potter is treating you well?"

"My Lord is most gracious, Lady Malfoy."

"I'm glad to hear it. I haven't heard from Dahlia in some time. I hope she's not taking it too hard." Harry thought once again of Leddy's warning and wondered if he might be able to contact her.

Pansy's expression barely flinched. "I have not heard from her, but I assume she's dealing with it to the best of her ability."

Harry didn't miss the flat manner of her speech. He knew it must have been a bit hard for her not to be more sarcastic and full of scorn. She had told him that her mother was probably just drinking her days away as usual. Harry thought that Pansy might have been too hard on her, that maybe she did miss her daughter. But she could just have easily been right. It's not like Harry had much experience with Dahlia Parkinson.

He was worried about which might be harder on Pansy in the long run- if her mother did miss her once she was gone, or if she didn't truly care.

"That's too bad, my dear. I hope you are able to speak with her soon, even if you are no longer a part of House Parkinson."

"Perhaps, Lady Malfoy," Pansy said with a neutral tone.

"May I ask what you are doing here, milady?" Harry asked, getting the attention away from Pansy.

"You may. I decided that Draco could use a little mother-son bonding time, so I came to bring him home for the evening."

"I wasn't aware that was something parents could do, but I wish you all the best in your endeavor. I'm sure Draco could use a mother's guidance and wisdom. They say that adolescence is one of the most trying times in life."

"Indeed. You seem to be coping admirably with your own trying times." There was that smile again. It might have just been in his head, but it seemed like Narcissa enjoyed flirting with him just as much as he did. "You certainly seem well enough, and I imagine a backlog of years of correspondence would be difficult to deal with for anyone. Not to mention what I've heard of your solicitor's heavy business."

"That's true, milady. House Potter has had a lot of catching up to do, but we'll work at it till the job is done."

"I am glad to hear it."

"Mother," Draco huffed, trying to draw her attention away from Harry.

"It seems your son needs your attention, so I should let you go. A pleasure as always, Lady Malfoy." She offered her hand, and he took it graciously. It was just as soft as he'd remembered, and as he leaned over, she raised her hand so that he kissed her knuckles.

"Farewell, Lord Potter," she said with a hint of a smile as she turned away. Harry barely noticed Draco's sneer before he followed after her.

-oOoOoOo-

His friends were mostly quiet until they were in a carriage riding back to the school.

"Now that I've seen it, I'm actually a little more amazed at you flirting with Draco's mother, Harry."

"A gentleman should always treat a lady with respect, Hermione."

"I've noticed that you smirk a lot more since you've become such a gentleman."

Pansy snorted at that. Harry thought he probably did it a lot more because of her to be honest.

"I don't get how you can do that, mate."

"Why?"

"She's a Malfoy!"

"Well, she wasn't born that way," Harry chuckled. "Everyone makes mistakes. I think hers might have been her choice of husband."

"That's not a mistake, that's a catastrophe," Pansy added.

"True, which is why I should be courteous. It would be rude to add insult to injury." 'Especially to a beautiful woman,' he added only in his mind.

Pansy looked at him skeptically. Surely she couldn't have heard his thoughts? He stared back at her, refusing to flinch from her glare. 'I bought you tons of chocolate even though I didn't get to share a shower.'

She didn't seem to read that from his mind.