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SOUL-SEARCHING: THE BATHROOM WALL GUIDE

-- by: lira-chan --





CHAPTER TWO: THE SECOND INTERVIEW


Bright and early on Saturday morning, Kyle found himself startled into wakefulness. Kyle was the sort of person who slept in any and every chance he got, and he knew immediately upon waking that the day was Saturday - a prime sleeping-in day for a guy who had off most Saturdays. As soon as he'd blinked open still-tired eyes, Kyle dragged his left arm out in front of him. His internal clock was insisting that it was all too early to be awake, a fact which was only confirmed by a digital watch with a reading of six o'clock almost on the dot.

Sighing, Kyle dropped his head down on now-folded arms. He was greeted by the sight of the edge of his sleeping bag, whose dark navy fabric contrasted vividly with the white of the tiled floor. The simple sight of unfamiliar white tiles managed to jog Kyle's memory in regards to where he'd spent the night, while automatic bathroom lights and mysterious aches and pains retained after a night spent sleeping on the floor had failed to do the trick. He berated himself for choosing such an unreasonable room to sleep in, before also recalling why he'd chosen the bathroom.

Kyle stretched, reassuring himself of the wisdom behind his plan. He crawled out of his sleeping bag, choosing instead to sit cross-legged on top of it with his bag of "essentials" cradled in his lap. Kyle spent a good minute or so pawing through his junk, before locating a slightly battered and flattened box of Chewy bars. Unwrapping one of the snacks, dotted throughout with chocolate chips, Kyle sat back to enjoy his breakfast. There was orange juice in a thermos for when he'd finished, and if he ran out of that, he could always drink tap water. Kyle was so well-prepared.

After finishing off his breakfast, Kyle managed to dig out his bag of toiletries as well. He really had thought his plan out to the smallest detail before attempting execution. While brushing his teeth, however, Kyle kept yawning. Six in the morning was definitely too early for any sane human to be awake on a Saturday. As soon as he'd deemed himself somewhat presentable and hygienic, Kyle crawled back into his sleeping bag, tugging the end over his head. He'd wake up again when the sun had actually risen to replace the oh-so-cheery bathroom fluorescents.



"Hey. Hey, are you awake?"

Rolling over onto his back without opening his eyes, Kyle allowed his sleepy brain to make an attempt at figuring out where his usual pillow over his head had gone. Had Jake gone and stolen Kyle's extra pillow again? And hadn't Jake learned better than to poke Kyle in an attempt at waking him? Honestly, if someone really wanted to talk to Kyle in the morning, they could either wait, or put in some actual effort. Kyle wasn't about to wake up just because someone had poked him.

To prove his point, Kyle grabbed the offending arm before it had been given a proper chance at retreat, feeling down the long, slender fingers with his eyes still scrunched shut. He gripped the fingers, only half aware of the fact that their nails were polished - and Jake was not into nail polish, unless Jake's girlfriend had managed to tie him down for another manicure that month. Kyle closed his mouth around the longest three fingers. Then he began to suck.

"Hey. Hey! Just what are you doing?"

Funny - the voice that had accompanied the initial poke was speaking again, and the speaker employing it actually sounded amused. Jake was never amused when Kyle "stupidly" stuck dirty things in his mouth. Jake's fingers were always dirty, but Kyle did his best to ignore the fact in favor of grossing Jake out. Come to think of it... The voice didn't just sound amused. The voice also sounded almost feminine. At the very least, it was about an octave higher than Jake's usual speaking voice.

"Jaaake..." Kyle whined, refusing to open his eyes in order to sort out the mystery. "Your voice's gone all squeaky. Have you been inhaling the helium from Meghan's birthday balloons again?"

"What's that, honey? Who's Jake?"

"Who's Jake" - what was that supposed to mean? Prior to that little comment, Kyle's sleepiness had prevented him from feeling any emotion besides mild amusement. A failure to recognize Jake, however, meant full-out annoyance, if not anger. All of Kyle's friends, acquaintances, and a handful of random people Kyle had accosted on the street all knew that.

Kyle's dark eyes snapped open - only to be confronted by eyes of crystal blue, eyes which hovered only scant inches from Kyle's face. Kyle scrambled to a sitting position at once, before taking in the blue eyes, blonde hair, and girlish face grinning mildly down at him. Definitely not the sort of thing one wanted to see first thing in the morning, not to Kyle's mind.



"I'm sorry I scared you!" the stranger was saying, giggling a bit self-consciously as the person crouched in front of Kyle.

Kyle was still a bit shocked from the... Unusual... Awakening, but he was rapidly recovering. His expression was still wary, but he was willing to give his visitor a chance. After all, that was what his little bathroom visit was all about.

Contrary to his initial impression, Kyle decided while looking his guest over, the person was not female. The man's features were somewhat feminine, and his voice was on the higher end of the scale, but Kyle was good at reading people. Even the magenta shorts he was wearing - spandex? - hadn't been enough to sway Kyle's gender perception.

"It's fine," he decided after a moment's pause, tone of voice neutral.

"Who're you, anyway?"

"Kyle," Kyle offered, once again having no reason to withhold his name. He intended to meet people, and this man hadn't even irritated Kyle yet. Weirded him out a bit, maybe, but not irritated.

"Aubrey," the blonde countered, offering a hand for a shake. Shrugging, Kyle clasped it, again noticing how slender the man's hands were. His fingernails were painted bright magenta - to match the shorts, maybe? That might explain the magenta high-tops, too, if the man was keeping up with a particular theme.

Of course, the tiny, sparkly magenta butterfly clips in the man's hair still bothered Kyle a bit. He was all too tempted to rip them out and stuff them in his mouth, but he doubted the plastic would be overly tasty.

"Nice to meet you," Kyle said slowly, still feeling Aubrey out. As far as looks went, the guy was more than a bit unusual.

He did have nice hands, though. Maybe even nicer than Peter's. Aubrey must use hand lotion, too, for his long fingers were wonderfully soft to the touch. Kyle did love hands. It was too bad he hadn't come up with a decent excuse to grab Peter and play with his hands... Of course, he had probably been too irritated at the time to even consider it. Perhaps he'd give Peter a call after all, just once.

Aubrey cleared his throat.

"I said," he nearly trilled, "What were you doing in the bathroom, anyway?" At least he didn't sound too annoyed about Kyle's having spaced out on him - he apparently just got louder when he was ignored. Kyle would have to remember that. If he didn't know better, he'd worry about splitting his eardrums, in the event that Aubrey found reason enough to crank up his volume just a bit too far.

"I could probably ask you the same question," Kyle countered, the conversation finally beginning to wake him up. Talking just wasn't any fun unless you managed to annoy someone in the process, and Aubrey might prove to be even more of a challenge than both Jake and Peter had been.

"Why is that?"

"You're not exactly the kind of guy someone would forget seeing," Kyle pointed out dryly, waving one hand in illustration of his point. "You don't work here, that's for sure, so I don't understand why you're here on a Saturday, which isn't exactly a busy day in this building. Weekends never are very busy - they're when most people have off."

"You mean you can tell I'm a guy?" Aubrey blurted out, sounding surprised.

"Surprised?" Kyle smirked, reaching out and tucking a strand of Aubrey's blonde hair - just past chin-length, and mildly wavy - behind one of the man's ears. Aubrey toppled over, going from a crouch to sitting on his ass, hard.

"Just a little," Aubrey admitted.

"Well, being caught in the men's bathroom is a bit of a giveaway..."

Aubrey blushed.

"...but I'm good at reading people, so don't feel too bad. It isn't the outfit; I'm just used to cross-dressers."

Aubrey breathed an audible sigh of relief. "So you don't think it's too over-the-top? Are the shorts too masculine?"

"Too masculine?" Kyle laughed, sounding just the slightest bit scoffing. "Aubrey, they're eye-searing pink hot pants. You couldn't find many articles of clothing less masculine - at least, not with a split down the middle. Most skirts aren't overly masculine, either, after all..."

"Oh, good." Aubrey smiled happily, scrambling a bit on the slick tiled floor until he was more comfortably seated, with his legs folded underneath him. They were shaved.

"Of course, I didn't say anything about how over-the-top that get-up is..."

Aubrey's face visibly fell. Kyle almost felt guilty for baiting him.

"Are you new to the whole cross-dressing in public thing?"

Aubrey nodded his head meekly.

"That's the problem. I suppose it all depends on what you're going for, but if you aren't careful, someone is going to mistake you for some crazy sort of hooker. Most real girls - and mind you, I say most, not all - don't dress like that. I think that's the difference between being a drag queen who does performing and the average cross-dresser who merely attempts to blend in with the crowds. When you're showing off on stage or for a small audience at home, you want to shock people - to impress them. But when you're just going out and about... It's better to fit in, to look normal, you know? You don't want people harassing you."

"Thanks," Aubrey said softly. "That really helps."

"Of course, I do like the shirt. The floral print is really nice. Do you have any black skirts? Probably... Knee-length, I'd say, the kind that swirls around you when you swish your hips or turn too quickly. The high-tops wouldn't work with that sort of a skirt, though. You'd want fancier shoes."

Kyle nodded thoughtfully, and Aubrey's head bobbed up and down as Kyle's did - only at double speed. Kyle desperately wanted to laugh, but for once in his life, he held back. He'd had enough experience with guys who were seriously into dressing up as chicks to be a bit careful. He didn't think Aubrey would hurt him or anything, but he was not about to apologize for making someone cry.

"So what brings you here anyway?" Kyle asked curiously.

"I actually came in to change," Aubrey admitted, blushing. "I'd noticed that this building was almost always open on Saturdays, but didn't seem to be too busy. I didn't think anyone would notice a girl coming out of the men's restroom in here, because of the general lack of people. I didn't expect to find someone sleeping, though, and I didn't just want to leave you there..."

Aubrey started to trail off on his own, before Kyle cut him off with a laugh.

"You were worried about me? You shouldn't have been, but I'm glad. I would have hated to miss you!"

"What do you mean?"

"Never you mind," Kyle suggested mysteriously. "How old are you, anyway?"

"...You aren't supposed to ask a lady her age. It's not proper." Aubrey looked down as he spoke, and Kyle could tell without trying incredibly hard that he was blushing again.

"Yes, but you're not actually a lady." Kyle smirked.

"No fair. If you hadn't been sleeping in the men's room... Well, I guess you're too smart to be fooled by an amateur like me. I shouldn't have tried going out in public yet, should I?"

"Don't worry about it," Kyle said easily. "Where you lack experience, you do have a nice figure, for a guy. Not overly muscled or anything, with a fine bone structure. Nice, slender fingers, too. These are feminine things - it works. I don't think you're ready to successfully pass yourself off as a girl, no, but few people are that skilled."

"Thanks." Aubrey blushed again. Kyle was surprised to see that he actually found the blushing to be quite endearing - cute, even. Even if Aubrey wasn't his type at all. He wasn't overly into the whole cross-dressing world, even if he had both friends who were - and a good bit of experience in selecting pretty pieces of ladies' clothing to look like camouflage for pretty boys masquerading in the girls' world.

"Like I was saying, don't worry about it. So how old are you?"

Aubrey blushed again. Kyle considered trying to keep the poor man permanently red, at least for the duration of the conversation, but decided against it. That would simply be too cruel.

"Thirty..."

"...But you don't look a day over twenty-one," Kyle supplied good-naturedly. He almost didn't feel like teasing Aubrey - and not because of his new awareness of the age gap between them. Aubrey was just... Cute, like a little kid. Kyle didn't pick on little kids.

"Thanks. You're so nice."

"I'm not." Kyle smirked. "Honest. Let's play a game."

"A game?" Aubrey blinked innocently.

Aubrey's expression alone was almost tempting enough to convince Kyle to make some sexual sort of crack, maybe see if he could get Aubrey to turn fuchsia... But Kyle decided against the maneuver. Instead, he patted the sleeping bag beside where he sat. Aubrey moved to sit by him.

"So how does this game work?" Aubrey asked cheerfully. He actually sounded a bit excited - quite encouraging, after dealing with Peter the night before.

"It's a mock-interview game," Kyle explained. "I'm a potential employer, and you're the prospective employee. You don't have to answer any of my questions, if you're really uncomfortable with them, but the game is based on give and take, loss and gain - and trust. You can't 'win' if you don't take any risks, after all. Make sense?"

"Yeah, I think so," Aubrey said, a bit more thoughtfully than Kyle would have thought necessary. "Like a getting-to-know-you game, only more interesting. Let's play! ...But won't you tell me about you, too?"

"Maybe," Kyle said evasively. "Ready?"

"Whenever you are."

"Where do you work?"

"A hair salon." Aubrey blushed a bit.

"Do you like your job?"

"Yes, actually - that won't affect my position as a 'prospective employee,' though, will it?"

Aubrey sounded so worried that Kyle almost laughed. He was shocked to find himself holding back twice in such a short period of time - he didn't often make such concessions for other people. It was Aubrey, of course. Even if he wasn't at all Kyle's type, he was such a little kid. Kyle couldn't help acting almost fond of him, even if Kyle didn't actually like Aubrey.

"No questions, just answers," Kyle scolded, surprisingly gently, for him. "However, I will say that an honest answer will never affect your 'position.' It's a game partially based on trust, after all, and honesty is a big part of trust."

"Good." Aubrey almost purred, and Kyle smiled. That was one of his tricks.

"Is that your natural hair color?"

"Yes. I haven't even bleached it, or changed the shade."

"Impressive, considering that you work in a hair salon. Is that your natural eye color?"

Another blush, if a mild one, made itself apparent. "No. It's close, though - my eyes are gray, but I decided on blue color contacts. You won't think of me badly for it? Does it make me shallow?"

"I don't know, honestly, but I wouldn't look down on anyone for just for being a bit shallow. So stop teasing honest answers out of me when I'm not even answering questions."

"Sorry." Aubrey bowed his head, and Kyle grinned. Aubrey did not act his age - even more so than Kyle.

"For how long have you been cross-dressing, even just in private or in secret?"

"Umm... That's a bit of a tough one. Three years? Four years? It's somewhere around there."

"Mmm hmmm." Kyle nodded, as if the response meant something to him. Childish personality or no, such teasing was the sort that even children knew how to cope with. Changing gears a bit, "Ever had sex with a guy before?"

"Kyle!" Aubrey blushed bright, beet red. "That isn't at all subtle!"

"I never claimed to be subtle, but you didn't answer the question. Oh - and I do believe that's the first time you've actually used my name. Congratulations."

"Fine. But only because we're playing this silly game, and because you've probably guessed already. Yes."

Kyle smirked.

"And don't look at me like that!"

Kyle sobered a bit, although his eyes were still shining, and a grin still tugged at the corners of his lips. He did understand how to be mature, on occasion. He just usually chose not to.

"Ever had sex with a chick?"

"Kyle! All right... Yes... Once."

Kyle almost thought that Aubrey was grimacing. Of course, it was a bit difficult to tell, what with how red the man's cheeks had become.

"Did you like it?"

"Oh, Kyle! You're cruel, aren't you?" Aubrey pouted, but this time Kyle was sure he would answer - and Kyle was correct. "...No. Okay? I... I don't really want to talk about my sexual history in detail though, okay? Some of this really is party game stuff, so it's no big deal. I'm thirty years old, I can take a joke, and I do know how to be serious. But some of it really is a bit... Personal... And you are still a complete stranger."

"Aubrey. I'm wounded."

"I'm serious." With the expression Aubrey was currently wearing, the man looked particularly small and vulnerable. Usually such manipulation was Kyle's specialty, but he knew that Aubrey wasn't actively trying to manipulate him. It wasn't as if he'd been about to press for details, anyway.

"I know," Kyle said easily, masking his seriousness with easy grace. "As tickled as I'd be to hear all the nitty, gritty details, I won't ask."

"Good." Aubrey sighed again, and his coloring began to fade noticeably.

"You don't mind continuing with the game though, do you?"

"Of course not," Aubrey said warmly, smiling a soft, rosy-edged smile.

"Where were you heading in that get-up you've got on, anyway? ...And why butterfly clips?"

One of Aubrey's long-fingered hands fluttered up to his hair like a bird, carefully fingering the multitude of magenta clips. Apparently, the idle question into his hairstyle had suitably distracted Aubrey from the tidbit Kyle was actually interested in - not that Aubrey was expected to guess Kyle's interests.

"I just like them," Aubrey admitted, a bit self-consciously. "I think they're pretty, and they matched all of the pink. You see, I was originally getting dressed up to - Oh! Oh no! Kyle, do you have a watch?"

"Sure..." Kyle said slowly, taken a bit by surprise. He rolled up his left sleeve, peering at the numbers on his digital watch. "It's almost one in the afternoon. Is that a problem?"

"Almost one? Are you certain? Your watch isn't fast, is it?" Aubrey sounded incredibly frantic, and Kyle was worried that the man might burst into tears at any moment.

"Yeah, positive. Something wrong?"

"I had a lunch date at one! Oooh... Cassandra's never going to forgive me!"

"Cassandra?" Kyle questioned lightly, hoping that Aubrey wouldn't object too strongly to the extended delay. "I thought you didn't like chicks."

"I don't." Aubrey was still pouting, while frantically patting himself down, as if to make sure all of his girl-clothing was in place. "She's one of my oldest friends. But she was trying to set me up with someone! If I piss off one of her friends..."

"Ouch," Kyle supplied, despite not worrying about such trivialities himself.

"Ouch is right," Aubrey moaned. "Her friends are so fickle. I don't understand why she hangs out with some of them... But... A lot of the boys are pretty..."

Kyle grinned. "Guess you'd better get going, huh? No boyfriend?"

"Nope," Aubrey admitted, although it was an admission made with considerable more ease than involved in some of Aubrey's other concessions to Kyle.

"Guess I'll be seeing you around." Kyle almost regretted letting Aubrey go - his cheerfulness actually failed to annoy Kyle, which was rare. It might have been nice to have a friend like Aubrey, even if Aubrey really wasn't Kyle's type. Kyle knew it for a fact, and yet wondered why he had to keep reminding himself.

"Wait!" Aubrey blurted out, grabbing for Kyle. "Give me your hand."

Kyle almost laughed - it was a complete flashback from the night before, only the roles had been reversed. He wondered where Aubrey would get a pen - the boy didn't appear to be carrying a purse. Kyle started to wonder as well as to where Aubrey's "guy clothes" might be stashed, but dismissed the thought when Aubrey presented his pen.

The pen had come out of Aubrey's shorts. Aubrey's hot pants, to be correct. Kyle didn't even want to think about whether or not those pants actually had pockets. Not only that, but the pen was pink.

And glittery. Definitely a flashback.

Aubrey held Kyle's hand gently, as if cradling a baby bird in his long-fingered hands. Uncapping the pen, Aubrey wrote his name and number on the back of Kyle's hand in flowing script. Squinting at his writing, Aubrey smiled brightly, and offered the pen to Kyle.

"I need yours, too," he said, shyly, offering up on of his hands as well.

Despite not being interested in going out with Aubrey, not on a date, Kyle took the man's hand. In his own blocky print, he carefully wrote out his name and number before returning the glittery pink pen to Aubrey.

"Hurry off," he commanded then, surprised to hear how gruff his voice sounded. Aubrey had been a strange one, but had somehow also earned Kyle's affection with little trouble on Aubrey's part. Kyle was surprised.

"All right!" Aubrey said happily, jumping to his feet. He dusted himself off one last time, clearing away nonexistent dirt particles, before turning towards the bathroom door. "I'll be hearing from you?"

"Of course," Kyle lied blithely. As much as he'd like to perhaps be friends with Aubrey - not more, definitely not more, Kyle wouldn't be able to handle it - Kyle wasn't the type to call people. He just wasn't. He gave out numbers constantly, but merely stored the numbers he received in return without giving them a second glance. He waved as Aubrey ducked out of the bathroom.

Left alone for a second time, Kyle glanced down at the sparkly pink script on his hand. He might as well record the number, before the pen faded away. He popped open his new phone, keying in his second number in as many days. Perhaps a stint of time in the company bathroom hadn't been such a bad idea.

Kyle stored his phone again, before noticing an impatient growl from his stomach. Aubrey had just run off for lunch, but Kyle hadn't eaten anything since six that morning. Shrugging, he popped open his bag of essentials.

Gnawing on his Chewy bar, Kyle waited for the next visitor to enter what he was beginning to consider his "private domain."