FicWad

“Wrench”

Finn sighed, furrowing his brows at the pair of legs tucked in to an orange jumpsuit that stuck out from under the Falcon. He picked up the wrench from amongst a pile of scattered tools and busted up ship parts next to him on the floor of the landing bay. “Are you even listening?” He extended the wrench out to the awaiting hand.

Poe rolled out from under the Falcon, smudges of oil on his cheek. He gave Finn a serious look. “Look buddy, I hate the guy just as much as the rest of us. He’s a war criminal, he’s killed hundreds of innocent lives. I don’t really know what you want me to tell you, she loves him, you saw it on her face when we rescued her from Dagobah. Others saw on the battlefield. She’s a traitor in their eyes. She knows who he is, what he’s done, and she loves him, and now she might lose him, so of course she is going to be upset. Of course she is going to be closed off, every eye is on her, scrutinizing her every move.” He shrugged, and grabbed the wrench from Finn and ducked back under the Falcon.

Suddenly he popped back out again, not quite finished with what he had to say. “Okay, yeah, he did help us win the Second Battle of Tatooine. He turned on the First Order yada yada yada, but, he’s still going to face trial. If Rey wants to be alone let her, it’s not easy right now, she’s being torn in two. Best to just be there for her if she wants company, but stay out of the politics.”

“Politics? Of all the people in the galaxy, you two are the last people I’d expect to be talking about politics.” Rose smiled as she approached the pair, moving slowly on a pair of crutches. Finn extended his hand for her and she gently took it, placing the crutches on the floor and awkwardly bending down to take a seat, her leg, still injured from battle, she sat, laying her injured leg out straight in front of her.

Poe grumbled from under the ship. “Politics in this place are dangerous. With the Resistance now slowly merging with the ruins of the New Republic, there are going to be a lot of messy politics going around, especially here with the summit, especially with the trial, and especially with that high brow guy lording himself over us.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “That guy is Lando Calrissian, a rebel legend, the former Baron Administrator of Cloud City, this city. He’s charming, he’s daring, he…” Rose paused, catching sight of Finn’s mock jealous glare.

“He’s what? Oh please, do go on” Finn broke his glare and smirked. It was true, he thought, from their first brief encounter, Lando really was charming.

*

The knots churned in her stomach like a storm above ocean. She hadn’t seen him in person since Leia’s funeral after the Second Battle of Tatooine.

Amidst the rubble of battle, the great general had been laid to rest. Hearing of Leia’s death, those that could, had flocked to Tatooine to pay their respects. In the rays of a dazzling sunset, there had been a grand funeral procession, the likes of which had not been seen since the passing of Leia’s biological mother, Padme.

It was here that Rey had seen Ben last.

After Rey had come back to life, there hadn’t been much time for the two to embrace, or fully understand the sudden shock, like an electric current, that had run through their bodys as balance was restored to the force. Side by side, back to back, Rey and Ben had fought once again as they had done before, moving and winding around each others bodys as if choreographed, as if picking out the movement from the others mind before the decision had even been made. Shock had reverberated in the eyes of Resistance members seeing Rey embrace Ben, and then fight at his side. Shocked turned to confusion at the sight of the feared apprentice of Snok turning against the First Order. The battle had waged on until morning, but as soon as Ben and the Knights of Ren had joined the Resistance, the tide had turned dramatically. Losses were still heavy on all sides, but what had been left of the Last Order, a handful of ships, and traumatized storm troopers, had either surrendered or retreated.

As soon as resistance troops had regrouped, they’d taken Ben away in chains to await trial on Bespin for crimes against the galaxy. Rey had screamed and pleaded for understanding, but she had been too weak, both physically from the wounds she’d suffered in battle, but also mentally, the strain in the force at feeling the death of hundreds, the pain of hundreds, had been too much for her, and so she had watched as Ben had surrendered himself quietly and without a fight. Holding up his battered arms, wrists touching, resignation on the dark features of his scared face.

The last kindness Ben had been shown since his capture, had been the Resistance’s approval of his presence at Leia’s funeral.

Weeping openly as she placed a small note into the generals cold hands upon the soon to be funeral pyre, Rey had caught sight of Ben in the crowd. She’d felt his presence before she had seen him. He had been flanked by two large Wookies, wrists shackled before him. His face was a hard mask of what she could only imagine had been self loathing and regret for a relationship that could have been. She had watched as the corner of his eyes had pooled with tears. It had been a humanizing image for those advocating for his execution. To Rey, however, it had been the image of a young man who now had to face the rest of his life with the wrongs he had committed, and the relationships he had destroyed, no longer able to hide behind a mask of hate.

A month later she paced nervously in the small chambers she had been given in Cloud City.

Hearing of the First Orders defeat on Tatooine, around the galaxy, enslaved beings had fought back in full against what remained of the First Order. Battles had broken out everywhere as the galaxy fought for their freedom. Most remnants of the First Order had either been killed, or retreated in haste. Some battles were still ongoing. Leadership from around the galaxy, from the New Republic, the Resistance, and from other planets wishing to be a part of the dawning of a new age for the galaxy, had begun to gather at Cloud City for a summit, at the end of which would be the trial of Kylo Ren.

After the funeral he’d closed himself off completely from her, and wouldn’t let her visit him in incarceration. She couldn’t understand, things had changed, everything had changed, yet all she had felt after the funeral was resignation and defeat emanating from him. She couldn’t fathom why he hadn’t shared in her joy. And so instead of being able to celebrate with her friends, apprentices, and fellow Resistance fighters, she’d become closed off, physically weak without him, and frightened for his fate.

The incercom in her quarters blared to life. “Miss Rey, I’ve come to take you to the holding quarters.” It was an unfamiliar smooth voice.

Rey grabbed a beige woolen cloak from atop her small bed and threw it over her shoulders.

The doors separated as she approached, and on the other side stood a smiling face.

The individuals dark skin contrasted against a bright tunic and matching cape of cannery yellow. Teeth shone against a suave smile barely marred by age. Wrinkles littered his features, but did not seem to fully detract from the attractiveness of his face.

“Ah, you must be Rey,” beamed the stranger, his eyes inviting Rey to calm down.

Rey smirked, finally putting the pieces together. There was no mistaking a legend, besides, there had been whispers of his presence ever since he had arrived to the city the previous night, there to take a commanding presence amongst the remaining Resistance members, the only one of their kind to have also dipped their toes in the politics of the New Republic. “And you must be Lando Calrissian.”

He adjusted his cape, “The one and the only. I’m here to take you to Ben.” He extended his elbow for her to take as he began to lead the way.

She turned to look at him with surprise, ignoring his extended arm. It had felt to her, that there was no one left who would humanize him anymore by using his birth given name. And yet Lando had.

Calrissian noticed her expression, his lips twisting in a solemn smile. “I was friends with his late parents. I’ve been following his life with interest, interest which turned to grief at the turn of his fate. I thought, perhaps, from what I’ve heard about you, dear Rey, that you might need an understanding acquaintance at this time.” Lando led them down one corridor after another.

Rey was still skeptical of him, not fully trusting in that suave smile. “And what have you heard about me exactly?”

They passed out of the building and in to a covered walkway that led to the main administrative building, in which the holding cells were located.

“I heard that you are the hero of the Battle of Tatooine. I’ve heard that you are Luke incarnate, a compassionate being with the powers of the force, now a teacher in its ways. But I’ve also heard of a change in you. I’ve heard you’ve become a recluse since the battle. I’ve heard there is suspicion around you now, and your alliance with Ben, for others do not trust his sudden change of heart, they take it as a ploy, a ruse.” He paused briefly. “I heard you are his companion.”

Rey let out a deep heavy sigh, weighed down by all that he had said. It was true. Traumatized, weakened, cloaked now in awe and mistrust, unable to obtain any relief in the comfort of friends who despised the man she loved, the man who had helped bring balance to the force, the man who had saved her. The man who might now die.

She felt like she was drowning.

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

Lando gave a nod at a pair of security guards in the security wing of the building.

They passed through the whirling doors and turned left.

“And what do you think” She asked, her voice straining to keep back the sobs that threatened to bubble up.

They passed in to a large chamber of glistening white. Seats were strewn along the walls. At one end was a long corridor, at the end was a large set of metal doors, sets of intricate locks riddling the surface, and on either side stood heavily armored guards.

He stopped and turned to face her. Empathy in those relaxed eyes. “I don’t think anyone knows what you’ve experienced, what you are experiencing.” He dug in to the back pocket of his black slacks, and pulled out a orange card with holographic script on it. “But he,” Lando pointed at the intimidating set of doors at the end of the hall, “now he may know. I orchestrated to allow you security clearance to see him as soon as I arrived. He has no say on who visits him here. You may visit as many times as you please.... Until the trial.” He extended the security pass to Rey.

Slowly she reached out and gingerly took the pass and inspected it, unable to decipher the dialect on the front. She looked back at Lando, confused. “Why are you doing all of this?”

His eyes saddened. “I was close with Ben’s late parents. When I’d heard of his birth I had always dreamed of sending the boy some extravagant present. A ship was the last thing I had settled on, before, well before my life got a little more complicated. I have felt guilt for not being there more for the child and his parents in his formative years. My quests with the Resistance kept me away. I am here now, and I am trying to help. I am doing it for him yes, but I am doing it for Han and Leia too.”

*

Flashes.

Her dying eyes.

Jolts of energy rippling like a lightning strike through the veins.

Electricity all around.

Fire. Fire scorching his skin, soft tissue melting away in torrents of screams.

Betrayal.

The searing sparks of two lightsabers meeting mid air.

The understanding that balance never lasts.

His eyes flashed open, hands thrown up to his throat as he gasped for breath. Sweat streaked down his cheeks, hair matted to his face, clothes sticking to his body.

He sat up struggling for breath as the air slowly entered his body.

Inhaling large bursts of air he shook his head, trying to get the images, thoughts, of his nightmares out.

They’d started after the battle.

But what scared him, is that they were images yet to come. Something terrible loomed on the horizon, something he would do.

He couldn’t explain it.

He felt sick.

After the battle, it was as if his body was rejecting, rejecting something. He wasn’t sure what, but he imagined that it was the light, the light he had been drawn to, the light sparked within him by Rey. Like a transplanted organ, his turn to the good seemed to remain in peace within him.

What had prompted him to keep her away, from him physically, and what had barred her from his mind, had been fear. Fear that like a nuclear reactor, he had the potential for a catastrophic meltdown that would take her down with him.

And that is why he had accepted his fate in confinement so fully. He wanted to be confined. He wanted to be isolated. He wanted to pay for what he had done for years, for what he had done to so many innocent lives, for what he had done to his father, what he had done to Rey in the past, and what he still had the potential to do. He’d thought late in to the night, many times, and had come to the solemn conclusion that he welcomed a verdict of execution.

Like a naive child, as he stood next to Rey on the bloody battlefield, fingers interlaced with her, cheering at the surrender of First Order troops, he thought that balanced once achieved would remain. That he would feel the weight he had been carrying with him for years suddenly lifted within the embraces of love, new friendships, and a renewed purpose in life.

He had been wrong.

Ben swung his legs over the small cot of his cell, resting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head.

He was the only one in his cell block, through fear he would corrupt others, or from being a high profile individual, he wasn’t sure.

His cell was quite large. About the size of a small bedroom aboard a ship, the cell was pretty standard. Four walls, three of steel hugging the cell, and the fourth, facing outwards, made of reinforced glass. A small bed, a small toilet, light cotton pants and tunic, thin pillow and blanket, two personal items were all he was allowed in his cell.

He stripped off the sweat soaked tunic and tossed it on the bed behind him and reached into his pockets.

It hadn’t been difficult for him to choose what to bring. A pair of shimmering dice, linked with a chain that had belonged to his late father, and a small scrap of Rey’s clothing he had found seared or cut off, laying on the bloodied floor of Snoks throne room. At the time he hadn’t know what made him pick up the small patch of rough fabric, but in secret, running it through his fingers, it had become a cherished momento.

Unseen doors whirled open and an armored guard stepped in to view. “You have a visitor.” Their deep voice echoed off the empty walls, following the figured as they disappeared.

He sensed her presence before she came in to view. It wasn’t a conscious realization, but a primal yearning for her coming from every cell of his body.

Slowly, awkwardly, she peaked her head in to view, a smile of relief and worry on her pale features.

The rhythm of his heart, still trying to even out from his nightmares, picked up once again, as if pleasure and pain were one and the same.

She took a step in to full view, clutching a cloak around her shoulders. Her hair was down, the light brown swaying atop her shoulders. She was wearing capris pants of rough fabric and a shirt of interlocking material. He could see the hesitation on her lips as she struggled for words.

In a swift movement he stood up and crossed the small cell, standing inches from her, the glass wall the only thing separating them.

Her walls were down, purposefully, and in a deluge he saw and felt what she had been going through in isolation, whispers from the lips of everyone around her, companions who couldn’t understand, and fear for him, for his fate.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered horsley, the two words so significantly inadequate.

There was a small rectangular opening in the glass wall for meal trays. He slowly raised his hand, watching as her eyes followed the motion, and placed his fingers through the slot, longing for her touch, needing it, needing it as he had on his ship long ago, but also needing it now as an extension of himself.

She came even closer to the glass, staring in to the pools of his dark eyes, her uneven breath leaving small clouds of condensation on the glass. Her nose was practically touching the glass as she lifted her fingers to meet his, eyes still locked on him.

Through the slot they let their fingers intertwine with love, and longing, with life and electricity. A familiar surge streaked through them, rippling through them in pulsating waves.

Rey leaned her forehead against the glass and closed her eyes, small tears falling from her closed lids.

He couldn’t bare to see her like this. They’d overcome so much, they’d endured, they’d fought, they’d struggled against forces beyond them, a cosmic pull that brought them together, but that always threatened to pull them apart.

Couldn’t they have a moment of rest, a moment of respite, a moment that was theirs and theirs alone. No First Order. No Resistance. No force.

He watched as she silently cried, bringing his other hand to the glass, imaging it against her skin. “I’m so scared,” she whispered.

At a loss for words, unable to tell her exactly what she wanted to hear, to divulge the great fear of himself that had amassed within him in recent weeks, all he could say was a repetition of his words before, “I’m sorry.”

Her eyes sprung open with anger, still clutching on to his fingers between the slots, she let her free hand ball in to a fist and strike the glass where his other hand lay sprawled in longing. “Stop saying that! I have you, I have you now, I have you, and there is balance, and now I’m going to lose you, and you don’t seem to care!”

His heart fell. “What do you expect me to do. I deserve whatever they decide. I am a war criminal. I mistakenly repeated the history of my lineage and now I must pay for it.” Tears sprang in to his own eyes, but he fought them back, determined to show her his resolve in the matter unwilling to express to her just how much he feared losing her too. He’d lost her once, for brief moments of agony, he couldn’t lose her for the rest of his life, or afterlife.

“But you changed. You won us the battle. You..” She struggle to think of more reasons.

He cut her off, “You can’t expect that to be enough can you? And neither can you will your love for me to be enough either. I deserve whatever sentence is passed, and you would do best to disassociate from me. I will only bring your name down with me.”

He could feel it in her, she knew he was right, but she was stubborn like him, unwilling to accept the truth he offered, unwilling to believe that despite all she had fought for, she would lose him too.

Silence hung in the air.

Contemplation riddled Rey's countenance as her fingers remained locked with his.

“I’ll find a way.” She said with determination, suddenly breaking the quiet.

Ben shook his head solemnly, letting out a small sigh. How would she let him go when the time came when she no longer had a choice.
He clutched at her fingers harder, savoring the sensation of the power within her, the softness of her hands, the reflection of need in her touch.

“Rey…” He whispered, strain in his tone.

She held the fingers of her free hand up to the glass, as if she held them up to his lips, stopping him. “Shh, just, just shut up for a second. Let me just enjoy this, being here with you. I,” Her voice faltered, “I’ve missed you.”

He kept his mouth shut, wishing with every that he could hold her, every inch of her in his embrace. Ben closed his eyes, conjuring up all the happy memories he had locked away of them together, and sent them through him, to her mind, there were only a handful. Playful flirtations aboard his sheep; the warm embraces of intimacy they shared aboard the escape pod, hurtling through battle; holding her cradled against his body atop the floor of a damp cave on Dagobah, a fire crackling before them; the relief in his urgent lips as he held her, thinking he had lost her; the elation in her eyes as their hands interlocked, cheers eruption around them at the end of battle, watching her as she left his side to congratulate her companions and thinking that whatever may come would be worth it because he now loved and was loved in return.