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He did not even have time to blink before the shot was fired, striking his mother in the stomach.

His mouth opened in anguish but no sound came out, only Rey's frantic plea as she raced across the sand towards the crumpled figure.

He watched as Rey, bloodied and battered, collapsed to her knees in the wet sand, gradling Leia, her chest heaving with sobs.

Fire, at the pit of his stomach erased the calm mask he’d managed to produce over the coming days. He didn’t know if it was lingering scraps of love for his mother, for the last pieces of a family he himself had set out to destroy, or whether it was the anguish emanating from Rey. Dodging blasters he brought his foot down onto Hux’s back as he tried to crawl to safety amidst the ensuing chaos of Ren’s soldiers and Leia’s death.

Hux fell flat against the wet sand, the wind knocked out of him. Ren raised a foot and sent Hux flying across the sand. Before he had time to make another move the floor before him exploded and he was sent flying back, sand raining down on him. A ship had shot at the small grouping. He was stunned momentarily, a ringing in his ears, his body stiff. He’d been wearing his helmet and so he remained uninjured. He jumped to his feet, marching through the smoke, stopping blasters as he searched.

The fighting had resumed around him. His knights were breaking down the opposing groups body by body. Leia's body had been dragged out of the open space behind the pillar where the other Resistance fighters were standing their ground.

Through the smoke he found Hux on his knees before Rey, begging for his life. Ren marched towards them, “DO IT!!!” he spat out.

Rey looked towards him, then back at Ren, her lightsaber illuminating half her face with an eerie green glow that pierced the darkness around them, the only other light coming from the still burning First Order Ship.

Through the sounds of blasters, of fighting from the nearby canyon, through the whirling of ships, and the screams of combat just behind him, her voice rang out. “BUT HE’S UNARMED.” There was confusion in her features.

Rens brows furrowed as he took a step closer. “He killed her, an innocent who’s back was turned. He’s killed thousands!” He wanted her to do it, he wanted her to feel what it was like to take revenge, to feel the power flow into her from such an act. He couldn’t trespass into her mind but he felt its weakness, she had been in the throes of battle and had seen and heard unimaginable things longs before he’d arrived to take control on Tatooine. Perhaps this weakness was what he needed, a final bid to turn her.


“You’ve killed thousands!” She spat before sending Hux flying with the flick of her wrist.

But before he could get far Ren caught him mid air, pulling Hux towards him and bringing his red lightsaber through the soft skin of his neck. The body dropped to the floor with a thud at Rens feet, a flash of orange, his head, rolled off.

He wiped the splatters of blood off his helmet and set his eyes on Rey. Across the space between them she stood ready for him, but her eyes were closed. He could feel her mind at the edges of his, seeking a weak point of entrance.

He took a couple of decisive steps towards her, closing the space between them, his body feeling the relief of her proximity, yet his mind in turmoil.

“I’m sorry it came to this.” Rey whispered, her voice catching in her throat at the end.

“Like hell you are,” he growled aloud. She had left him. She knew what that amounted to. It was fated, Ren said to himself before he advanced. He broke out into a sprint, jumping up and bringing the lightsaber down.

His lightsaber struck the wet sand in a sizzle. She’d gotten behind him and swung with both hands, he ducked. The lightsaber went whirling by, searing the top of his hemet. As he ducked he kicked out behind him, sending her feet out from under her. He span on his knees and caught her as she rose from the sand, sending a blow flying past her. It caught the edge of her shoulder. A scream of pain erupted from her lips and she threw her hand out, sending him back with the force. They both jumped to their feet. Blood from her shoulder began flowing with the rain, joining the streams from other wounds on her arms. She closed her eyes.

He ran towards her and swung at her thigh, his lightsaber froze. He roared with anger, pulling it back and lunging again, pushing her back in the process with his mind. She hadn’t expected his mental assault and had to throw up her lightsaber to meet his. He was stronger. He pushed back against her, her feet dug in the sand sliding back.

“It’s disgusting, that you still hold out hope.” He spat as he pushed against her harder, his face inches from their crossed lightsabers, drenched in glows of red and green. He saw the strain on her face, her teeth clenched in focus.

“Hope is all I’ve ever had.” Her voiced carried to him past the chaos around. She sent her knee full force into his ribs, using his falter to pull back and swing at his head.

He ducked again. “WHAT’S THE USE OF HOPE,” he slashed at her with a grunt. She blocked “IF FATE TAKES PRECEDENCE!” He lunged at her. She blocked. He was pushing her back, further and further away from the small fight he had come upon earlier. They were moving further from the light of the burning ship, further from backup, further into the darkness of the Tatooine night. “WHAT'S THE POINT OF HOPE IF IT HAS ALL BEEN FATED.”

“I don’t understand!” She yelled as she blocked him again. She was growing weaker, he felt it, her body was faltering from her wounds, from his strength.

Ren sighed, trying to control his emotions. “You will die. You chose the light and you will die!” He wiped the rain from his helmet and lunged again at her, yelling, “and it will be by my hand!”

Before his lightsaber could make contact with her chest it was stopped by a stun baton. Ren turned with rage to find Finn at the other end of the weapon.

Ren laughed as he pulled his saber back, “ah so we meet again. How’s your back?” He despised the sight of the former stormtrooper. He felt it, from within him before he had ever turned against the First Order, he had felt the good, the disobedience.

“Oh it’s just dandy. How’s your face?” Finn smirked as he pushed Rey behind him. She couldn’t speak, she was catching her breath, composing herself.

“Stay out of this deserter” Ren seethed. Before Finn or Rey could react Ren lifted Finn up his into the air and sent him flying into the night.

“FINN!” Rey screamed, she turned to run in the direction she saw him fall. Ren froze her with his mind.

“We’re not finished here.” He growled.

Rey quickly, turned her lightsaber off, tossed it up, and caught it upside down before switching it back on, sending the blade right into Rens thigh. She pulled it out and made a run for Finn.

Ren clutched at his searing thigh, roaring his eyes fixated on her retreating figure. He stood straight and began beating at his chest, pain, it made in stronger, it made the force stronger. The powers of the dark side flowed from pain, the pain of others and oneself. He pressed his thumb into the wound in his thigh, twisting, before he ran after Rey.

He found her crouched down next to Finn, checking his heartbeat.

His body had landed a few metres from the canyons edge, far from where they had been. Ren, chest rising and falling peaked down into the canyon, Resistance forces struggled to keep back both stormtroopers and his knights. Bodies littered the muddy floor as the rain continued its downpour ceaselessly.

Ren felt the life still in Finn, the relief emanating from Rey.

He knew Rey felt his presence behind her, he waited. She stood slowly, her back to him. She turned, eyes closed. She’d taken off the small bits of armour she had had on earlier, the full extent of her injuries now visible. Dark patches of bruises. Cats of flowing red. A large gash on her arm. A small wound on her temple, blood maring her features. “They’re down.” She whispered, extending her arms out slightly at her sides, her lightsaber off in her hand.

He knew what she meant instantly and did not hesitate. He extended his mind out towards her, feeling the familiar warmth of her comforting mental signature open to him. And then he saw it, he saw and felt it all. Her loneliness on Jakku. The love she felt for her mentors, her family. The hate she had for him as he killed Han. The feelings that grew as she felt the vulnerability from within him; seeing past his tormented facade she had known within was a scarred and scared young man, seething from a parents rejection and lost in forces beyond his full control. He saw himself through her eyes as they held each other. He saw what had really happened on Dagobah. He saw the turmoil in her now. She was the only one who could do it, and the only one who didn’t want to.

A tear rolled down his cheek, hidden by his helmet. He shook his head, slowly at first, then more forcefully, trying to get the images out of his mind. “YOU’RE WEAK!”

He leaped towards her and she blocked his blow. She was crying.

“LOVE. IT’S MADE YOU WEAK. LOVE IS THE TRUE POISON HERE!” He struck at her again. She blocked, but stumbled backwards. “YOU’RE A FOOL TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART!” He thrust his saber again and again, and she blocked again and again, unwilling to swing. “FIGHT ME!” He screamed, sweat and tears stinging his eyes.

Rey shook her head and dropped to her knees, letting the lightsaber slip from her hand. “I can’t. I thought I could but I can’t do it.”

Rens fingers clutched tighter on the hilt of his lightsaber. He raised his foot to take a step closer to her but faltered.

Suddenly the sky above them lit up.

Rey stared up in horror before turning to Ren and thrusting out her hands. She sent him back into the darkness before the missile hit the spot where he had stood. He landed on his chest. Before he could react the earth beneath him shook. The smoke cleared only to reveal a large fault line, cracking off a piece of the canyons edge, the edge Rey knelt on.

“REY!” He yelled, but it was too late. With a deafening crack the edge of the canyon broke off and Rey disappeared.

Ren scrambled to his feet in panic and ran towards the now jagged edge. A large chunk of the canyon wall had crumbled to the floor. It sat in a jagged pile of boulders, dirt, and sand at the bottom.

Something struck the sand behind him, and another crack tore through the remains of the canyon wall. He felt the shaking beneath him as the earth began to crumble. He could feel it begin to slide, to take him down. He let it.

*

Ren’s eyes slowly opened. He lay in the mud, his cheek resting in a shallow puddle. He sat up. He was on the canyon floor, close to the edge of the canyon, battle raging on around him. The numbers significantly dwindled, bodies strewn everywhere. Lightening suddenly began streaking the night sky, illuminating flashes of the battlefield around him. Disorientated he checked to make sure he was alright, but aside from some bruises, and what felt like a cracked rib he was completely unharmed. And then it came to him. What had happened.

He sprang to his feet. Beside him was a large pile of rubble. He didn’t see her. He began panicking. Turning to make sure no one had noticed him yet, he closed his eyes, collecting what strength he had left, composing himself in the most disciplined way. The rocks and dirt floated up and out. He separated each one from the pile, sending it flying back into the battlefield. He had to work quickly, they were noticing his presence.

And then he found her.

He lifted her limp body out gently with the force and slowly placed her down in the mud before her.

He sat in shock, unsure of what to do.

“Rey” he whispered. He reached out with his mind, searching for life.

Her mind was a dull, fading green. But it was still there.

She was alive.

“Rey” Her name escaped his lips again.

Suddenly her eyes slowly opened.

She was dying.

The sound of electricity whirled by his ear. A storm trooper had swung at him with a stun pike, slipping in the mud and rain, and missing him. Ren swung, and sliced off the stormtroopers hand, sending his lightsaber through their chest before screams of pain could erupt from their lips. They fell dead.

Ren turned to run to Rey but suddenly a resistance fighter stepped out in front of him, blocking him from getting to her. Ren looked past the fighter, Rey was pleading with him with her half closed eyes. The fighter before him was young. They held a crude sword made of metal scraps.

He felt it, they were force sensitive.

He looked back towards Rey. Rain pelted the soft features of her face, streaking down her cheek, mixing with blood from a superficial cut on her temple. Her eyes looked into his soul with pleading, as she shook her head weakly, mouthing his name with the last of her strength. Her body was shutting down. He could see it, almost as if time had slowed, eyes losing their glimmer, skin turning colorless, chest rising and falling with her last breath. Her eyes closed and head gently rolled to the side as life left her.

“NOOOOOO!” Ren screamed in anguish, pushing the young fighter out of his way.

He dropped to his knees in front of her, tearing off his helmet. Quickly he pulled off his gloves and tried performing CPR, but it wasn’t working. He pulled her into his lap and brought the bare skin of his hand against the soft skin of her cheek. “No no no no,” he kept repeating as he rocked her lifeless body back and forth, sobs erupting from his lips. It wasn’t working. He had hoped, whatever there had been, whatever power beyond them both that brought them together, that ignited them whenever their skin touched, would bring her back, but it wasn’t.

He pushed the wet strands of hair out of her face, and wiped away the dirt and blood. “I’m so sorry.” He choked out, “You were right, you were always right. If I, if I had just stopped and listened, to you, and my heart, I would have seen. I would have seen what you were trying to tell me this whole time.” He kissed the top of her head. “You, you’re not nothing, you never were, you’re everything to me. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong to turn on Luke, I was wrong to turn on my family, I, I was wrong to turn on you and I was wrong to turn on the light.”

A ripple of energy ignited in his chest and reverberated out. He felt it pulsate out of his pores and through the air around him.

He felt the mental signature of the Knights of Ren behind him.

He looked down at Rey, unwilling to leave her, but knowing he had to, if only for a little while.

Slowly Ren lowered Rey's body off his lap, laying her down gently. He folded her arms above her chest and gently brought his lips to hers before standing up and pulling his gloves back on and slipping on his helmet.

Four of his Knights had come to find him, sensing his anguish. They stood at the ready.

“We are to help resistance fighters at all costs. Do you hear me? Only attack the First Order, but your defence of fighters is top priority.” Two of the knights disbanded, but two stayed. He sighed, he knew he was a target by both, but he couldn’t let the First order Win.

And then he saw him, Finn. The defector stood, stunned, a young women with black hair next to him. He’d seen her body. “Rey!!” He screamed.

Ren turned to the Knights he’d just sent off, “Keep him away!” He yelled. The knights immediately ran towards Finn, who tried to block them, but to no avail. They held him at bay.

“I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you for this!” Finn yelled, struggling against the power of Rens knights.

Ren turned to glance at Rey to make sure her body remained undisturbed, before he left her to talk to Finn, to try and explain that, although it took the moment of her death, he was not the same. He was determined to stop this battle, this war. To stop the Resistance. To stop the dark.

Glancing over he saw a First Order fighting, what looked to be a pilot, running towards her.

*

Slowly her lids opened, and she could feel and see the rain pelting her face. Above flashes of lightning streaked across the Tatooine sky. Gently she rolled over onto her stomach, feeling pain rippling through her body. She opened her mouth and air rushed in. She took a couple of jagged breaths. She felt, different. Something was, very very different.

She placed her palms down in the mud beside her chest, ready to push herself up when suddenly she heard a scream above her. The flash of a red lightsaber flew through the chest of a First Order Fighter. The lightsaber pulled out of the hulking body and it dropped to the mud before her. Rey sprung to her feet with confusion and terror.

She’d seen this all before. In the basement of a bustling cantina, long ago.

Bodies strewn everywhere, rain pouring down in an endless deluge pooling in muddy puddles made crimson with blood, lightning flashing the canyon around her, and before her, before her stood an armored figure.

The figure stepped towards her, away from flanking soldiers.

Rey stumbled backwards in fear.

The figured stopped, calmly raising their hands to their helmet, and pulling it off.

He had pale skin and full lips. His dark imploring eyes were interrupted by a scar that ran down the side of his cheek. Dark matted and wet tresses hung down over his forehead. His expression was one of complete and utter shock. He carefully, so as not to scare her, pulled off his gloves and extended a hand towards her.

She looked from his hand to his face in confusion and disorientation.

“Rey,” he whispered, her name on his lips a soft caress.

“Ben?” She mouthed, until she realized. She reached out her hand and took his.

She couldn’t hear the battle any longer, she couldn’t see the figures around. The world was drowned out to her. All there was was him.

Gently he pulled her towards him, pulling her small frame up against his chest and enveloping her in his arms. He was crying.

“I, I thought I lost you Rey. I thought I lost you. I couldn’t bear it. You died.” He sobbed into the crux of her neck.

“I think I did,” she whispered against his chest, still unsure of what had happened.

And then it flooded back to her. She saved his life. She’d been crushed in the landslide. He’d been there. And then she had left.

She pulled away, bringing her hands to the sides of his cheeks, looking in to his eyes. “I heard everything. I, I died but I heard everything.” She raised a hand a wiped the tears from his dark eyes. “Ben I love you.” She whispered as tears appeared in her own eyes. She was never more sure, never more sure that the man before her, although the same, was deeply changed.

“I love you too.” Ben Solo whispered, bringing his lips softly to hers and kissing her with the full force of his relief.

“Do you feel it?” she said softly, gingerly breaking her lips away from his. She turned in his arms, looking out around her, flashes of lightening setting her features alight.

“I did, I do. What is it?” He’d felt it as he kneeled in the mud cradling her body.

She turned back to look at him, smiling. She closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest.

“Balance”


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Epilogue soon to come!