FicWad

"I can walk perfectly fucking well by my own damn self!"

The usually still night of the prison was interrupted by a nearly feral snarl, waking several inmates as the guards passed. Some grumbled, others swore, others came to their doorways and stared in interest. Some even cat-called and whistled upon seeing the person the prison guards had in tow.

"Is this really necessary? Stop lugging me around like a fucking rock! I have two feet, let me fucking use them! For fuck's sake!"

"Will you shut the hell up?" one of the guards snapped. "You're disturbing the other inmates."

The short man continued to gripe and complain as the two officers poked and prodded him down the halls, ignoring that either of them had even said a word. "And these goddamn fucking handcuffs are biting into my skin, let the fuck go of them!"

"Watch your goddamn mouth," the other guard spat, and before the prisoner could bite back, he was tossed unceremoniously into a cell. "You'll regret it, Ackerman."

"Or what?" Ackerman sneered, righting himself effortlessly even with his hands cuffed, and spitting at the officers' feet. "Fight me, you fuckwits! I'll kick both your asses with no hands and strangle you with these goddamn handcuffs!"

"Keep starting fights," the guard threatened, "and you'll become someone's bitch. Or better yet, everyone's little slut."

The raven-haired man was speechless as reality set in - rather, smashed into him like a train - and he stared dumbly as the door slammed closed. The gears in his head came to a screeching halt at the noise, and all insults and gripes escaped him. It wasn't like he'd never been behind bars before. He was a thief and murderer. Slitting a man's throat in his sleep usually resulted in jail time, so he was familiar with it. He was no stranger to prison.

However, federal . . . federal was a lot different from state.

"Well, well. Who did the guards bring us this time?"

He'd been so overwhelmed with shock that he hadn't heard the shifting of cell mates waking up, and he silently cursed his inattention as he whirled around. Two large, beefy men stared him down, identical crooked grins on their faces. They looked very similar, even in the dark; they were probably brothers. Ackerman backed away by instinct, cursing when he realized his hands were still cuffed.

"He looks like a feisty little piece of meat, Joe." The larger of the two cracked his knuckles, smirking. His slightly smaller companion inched closer to the raven, grin widening.

"You know I like it when they fight, Jim." A nearly feral snarl tore from Ackerman's throat as Joe approached, but all it got was a small flinch back. "They're more fun to break. Do you know who we are, little man?"

Ackerman leaned away, scrunching his nose at their putrid breath as he scanned their faces and his memory. It clicked in his mind rather quickly - the Blues Brothers. Named ironically for their attacks on gospel churches, they were arrested for mass genocide after assaulting six churches, shooting the inhabitants and burning the structures to the ground.

Ackerman only turned his head away at the realization, curling his upper lip in content. Against all common sense and his better judgment, despite all his instincts screaming at him, he scoffed, "You just look like a couple of retarded failed back alley abortions to me."

When the fist came flying for his face, it was in slow motion. He'd known it would happen. All it took was him ducking, and the sickening crunch of bone against metal made him wince for the smallest of moments. Then he was throwing himself to the side to avoid a kick, scrambling to his feet an instant later and delivering one of his own to Joe's face - or Jim's? Not that it mattered, nor did he care - with a moment of satisfaction at the yelp and blood splatter that followed.

"Do you know who the fuck I am?" he hissed fiercely, spitting at the brothers on the ground in contempt.

He reached behind his ear and grabbed a bobby pin from his messy locks, quickly undoing his handcuffs now that he had the chance. He threw them at one of the brothers, taking satisfaction in the muted 'ow' he heard.

"I am Levi Ackerman. I am No Name. I am the hitman whose stories your inbred mother told you while breastfeeding."

"You're not that much older than us," one brother ground out, much more feeble now under the blood flow. Levi's lips curled into a cruel smirk, and he picked the cuffs up off the ground, dangling them on one finger.

"I was under the impression you were both still mama's boys, sucking from her tit as grown men." He stepped closer, his glare daring them to make a move while he linked the cuffs through the bars and cuffed their hands together. "I remember your trial. Did you know I was there? You went on and on about her, crying like the abandoned little shitheads you are, begging her to save you." Levi cinched the cuffs extra tight, curling his upper lip back in contempt. "Pathetic."

Immediately Joe and Jim burst into angry shouting, but Levi was already out of their reach, climbing onto an untouched top bunk and curling himself up, rather like a cat. He yawned rather dramatically, nestling into the cot, and said simply, "Goodnight, children."

But he didn't sleep, and the next morning found two officers tackling him to the ground, cuffing him, and dragging him out of the cell.

"Get the fuck off of me, you uniformed pissants!"

Screaming himself raw was not Levi's idea of a good way to start the day, but apparently the guards didn't take too kindly to an inmate escaping his confines and crippling two other prisoners.

"Stop struggling!"

"I'll shove a fucking bomb in your wife's goddamn hellspawn creator, I don't give a fuck! Let me go!"

The officers dragged him down the hall, amidst hoots from the other inmates. Levi dropped all his dead weight, making the guards struggle to pull him along.

"I refuse to go anywhere until you tell me where we're going!"

"You'll see, so just behave!"

"The moment I'm out of these cuffs, I'll shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be picking my toenails from between your teeth!"

A painful jolt raced down his spine suddenly and set his nerves on fire, his muscles tightening painfully. A pathetic, degrading whine left his lips, and he glowered at the men practically carrying him at this point as one shoved the taser back in his belt with a smug expression.

"That was nothing. If you don't want another shock, you're gonna behave, aren't you?"

"Kiss my sweet ass," Levi rasped, glaring through unkempt bangs at the guards.

They blatantly ignored him, and the tops of his feet dragged on the concrete floor as they pulled his limp form along. He wasn't surprised when they stopped at a heavy iron door, opening it and throwing him unceremoniously into the cell. He stared around in contempt at his surroundings, standing slowly on still weak legs and frowning at the door.

"Really, now, what is the point of keeping me in these cuffs?" he grumbled to himself, plopping down onto the cot with a rather angry huff.

As he regretted his decision to attack his cellmates, another man stood out in the hall, away from the gazes of the guards. He rubbed his chin in thought, ice blue eyes taking in the foot of steel required to keep in such a small man. His lips quirked up into an intrigued smile before he whisked away into the dark hallways.

.-.-.-.-.

"If we let you go to the cafeteria, will you behave?"

After three days of two meals a day under the door that consisted of unrecognizable mush, Levi was ready to tear his hair out. He had leaped on the opportunity to escape the cell, dealing with the poking and prodding just to get the damn cuffs off. But now, standing in the breakfast line and watching the "food" being prepared and the predatory glances he was getting, he was starting to regret taking the opportunity.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" came a booming, mocking voice, accompanied by jeers. "Looks like you didn't like lockdown, huh, little man?"

Levi turned slowly, not giving them the satisfaction of seeing his anger. The Blues Brothers stood a mere few feet from him, surrounded by men just as big and burly as them, if not bigger. Silver blue eyes took in each one. They wore identical sleazy grins, had several prison tattoos, and their hands were the size of Levi's entire head. Their muscles rippled beneath their clothes, and if it weren't for the circumstances, Levi might have considered seduction.

He had a feeling that this time around, seduction wasn't necessary to be pinned down and fucked mercilessly.

"Was the ass-kicking I gave you the other night not enough?" Levi drawled, noting with dissatisfaction that the bruising had faded rapidly.

"You're not going to get that far this time, gorgeous," one of the other men said, cracking his knuckles. "We're going to make sure you can't resist."

"We'll do what we should have the first night - shove our cocks so far down your throat and ass that you'll be begging for mercy."

"Gonna take turns with that tight ass. You'll regret what you did."

"Oh, great. Prison rape. What I always wanted." Levi rolled his eyes in an attempt to seem apathetic as he scanned for an escape route. His heart thundered in his ribcage at his impending fate. He turned his nose up at them and moved to push past the crowd, scoffing, "I don't have time for this -"

It was inevitable that the fist in his hair would happen, and he let out a barely audible hiss when his inky black locks were yanked painfully. He dropped his tray of mystery mush, making a grab for the arm connected to the hand, but before he could get a grip, it disappeared.

"Actually, men, I would like to have this one."

Levi whirled around at the new voice, and he barely withheld the exclamation of holy fuck, I'd ride that so fucking hard.

Tall, blond, and handsome's lips curved into a smile, friendly on the surface. But Levi was an expert at reading expressions, and something about the man's smile wasn't right. The blond was tall and muscled, but smaller than the other men surrounding him, and his clothes and hair were immaculate. His fingers dug into the forearm of the man that had grabbed Levi, his smile never faltering.

"He's just my type," blondie said in a smooth tone, ice blue eyes sliding over Levi's form and sending a shiver down his spine. "That is, if none of you have a problem giving him to me?"

Levi was so certain that Adonis of a man was about to be pummeled when, to his utter shock, the others backed off.

"Thank you, gentlemen," the chiseled god-man said, and offered a hand to Levi. "Now . . . it seems as though I own you, little pet. What is your name?"

Overwhelming rage consumed the ravenet from nowhere at the words, and he ignored the hand, spitting at the man's feet. "Nobody fucking owns me, you uptight fuckface - " As in I want to fuck your face. " - so you had better fucking watch yourself."

"Oh? I just saved you from all those beasts." Levi let out a startled, feral growl when in one rapid movement the man pinned his arms behind his back. He started to struggle, but the whisper in his ear sent a delicious shiver down his spine, and his knees buckled. "If you don't play nice, they'll take you back. So why don't you be a good boy, Ackerman, and do as I ask?"

"Go fuck yourself," Levi hissed, wrenching away from the grip.

"I reckon I'm supposed to fuck you," the blond mused, smile never faltering, though darkness lurked in its depths. "We can save that for later. I'm Erwin Smith." When Levi refused to answer, Erwin shrugged slightly and continued speaking, releasing Levi's arms. "Need I remind you that the guards watching right now would have let you be raped?"

"I wouldn't have let it happen," Levi hissed. "I would die first."

"But then the prison would try to keep you alive," Erwin pointed out. "You would only face these problems again, weaker and unable to fight."

"What's your fucking point? Are you saying I should trust you? You, who apparently fucking own me?"

Erwin was quiet a moment, then turned away, heading for the cafeteria exit. "Come with me; I know where we can talk in private."

Levi stared after him in bewilderment. "You think I'm dumb enough to follow you? Besides, they -" he gestured to the officers guarding the double doors. "- won't let me out. Not after what I've done."

"Yes, killing three of their officers with your bare hands, crippling another for life, beating the holy hell out of two inmates, and attacking an officer with his own taser usually puts you in a bad light."

"I - how did you - ?"

"I know things. Now, won't you come with me so we can have a civilized conversation?" Erwin gave a friendly smile when Levi opened his mouth to point out the obvious, adding, "I can get you past the pigs. Also, I have real food."

That made Levi perk up instantly, though he tried to hide it. He glanced around the room shiftily, before his suspicious stare landed on Erwin. "If you try anything I'll rip out your goddamn throat with my fucking teeth."

"But of course," Erwin agreed pleasantly. "Follow me."

Levi was so shocked at the prospect of this man having so much to offer that he didn't even notice the looks exchanged between Erwin and the guards.