Categories > Anime/Manga > Attack on Titan > Mine
"Oh g-god..."
Eren's blubbering and crying reached Levi even from around the corner, and fear instantly spiked in his heart, accompanied by rage. He'd known when Eren had been called to Erwin's office that nothing good could come of it, and found himself heading to the Commander's office not ten minutes after his lover had left. Now, with loud crying echoing down the hallway and the knowledge that he was right, Levi found himself dashing down the corridor and toward the open door at the end.
"Eren-!"
He skidded to a halt with his hand on the door frame, and his heart nearly stopped at the sight before him. Blood, too much blood to belong to simply one person, especially not one of the two that he'd known to be in the room, even if Erwin was a fucking giant. Where had all of this come from?
As Levi scanned the gory mess on the floor, he fought to fight down the terror that tried to claw its way up his throat. He'd never felt fear like this before, not since he'd lost his entire world through the death of two people. Now he was staring at two more bodies, more people he once cared for, cold and lifeless and hardly recognizable. Curled up in a corner a few feet away was another person, the source of the crying, covered in blood and gore and hyperventilating.
"Eren," Levi breathed, an impossibly powerful sense of relief washing over him as he rushed over to the boy and gathered him in his arms, mindless of the blood that splashed at his feet and seeped into his clothes. "Eren, fuck, what happened?"
"L-Levi - Levi!"
The brunet clawed desperately at the man's jacket, nails digging in as he gasped for air. His eyes were wide and face splattered with blood, with a few clean trails cleared by the unrelenting flow of tears. Eren thrashed wildly in his captain's grasp, choking around his sobs and the lump in his throat. Turquoise orbs were hazy and unseeing, staring right through Levi's worried face to fix on some unknown terror. Levi held Eren's arms down as well as he could, trying to stop his flailing, to no avail.
"Eren, stop, it's okay, I'm here!" Levi hadn't felt desperation like this in years. He tried rocking the boy back and forth, shushing him the best he could. "Please, Eren, calm down, talk to me, what's wrong?!"
"Can't-!" Eren's hands went to his own throat, and he clawed at the skin there, voice cracking and muted through his tears. "Le- Levi- b-breathe, can't... L-Levi!"
His chest heaved, shuddered, and with every second Levi's fear that it would stop moving increased. He ran his fingers soothingly through blood-streaked hair. "Shh, Eren, please. Come back to me." If the boy lost himself in the throes of panic, if he overwhelmed himself in the anxiety trying to consume him, he might never come back, and then all that Levi had done would be for naught. "Eren, breathe with me."
"C-Can't-"
"You can. I know you can." Levi took a deep, shaky breath, and let it out, ignoring his own fear. "Now you. In, out. Calm down..."
"D-Dead - killed - all my fault -"
"You had to do it." Levi had faith in that, at least, even if he was too frightened to be happy about it. He was sure that Eren had done what was necessary. "Now breathe..."
Finally, thankfully, Eren allowed himself the opportunity to try, and he took in great, shuddering lungfuls of air. Levi smoothed his hair back, held his free hand, planted kisses on his face. Anything to calm him.
"You okay?"
"N-No. Better, barely. Not okay."
Levi sighed, knowing he shouldn't have expected a positive response, but still feeling guilty at the words. He petted the shifter's hair lovingly, resting his cheek on Eren's head. "What happened?" he asked softly.
"Erwin knew. Thought I was a victim." Eren laughed, a bone-chilling sound. Levi found himself smiling at the noise. "Showed him I wasn't. Didn't think murder would be so easy. Didn't think it would drive me so insane."
"Let me guess, Mike found you?"
"Yeah. Thought something else happened, somehow." Another laugh, crazed this time, and shaking bloody fingers reached up to grasp at his brown locks. "Thought you came in and killed him. Realized it was me. I killed him too. So much blood, Levi, god, it's such a mess, didn't know there'd be so much..."
"It's beautiful," Levi murmured, pressing a kiss to the mop of brown hair. He surveyed the room, the splatters of red everywhere, the lifeless bodies, the gore all over the room. He dipped his fingers in the stomach and traced them over his lover's face lovingly. "You're beautiful. You look stunning like this."
Eren copied him, cupping blood-covered hands to Levi's face and thumbing under his eyes, smearing the substance over his skin. "You do too," he whispered, a small smile painting his features. "You look gorgeous, covered in it like this. You - you look like you belong covered in blood."
His smile grew, a dazzling display of pearly whites. Eren was seeing his captain in a whole new light, a beautiful disaster, a whirlwind of beautiful death and destruction. A breathtaking god of death, merciless and filled with unrelenting bloodlust.
Levi mirrored his expression, overwhelmed with emotion at the sudden transformation his lover had undergone. "My beautiful Eren. You have no idea just how thrilled this makes me. What changed?"
"I don't know," Eren breathed. "I just... snapped. He was going to turn you in. I wouldn't let him. I... I realized... I understood you. In that moment, I felt how terrible it would be to lose you. I couldn't take it." His smile faltered momentarily, but then returned full-force. "A world of our own, like you said. That's what we need. Some place where no one will bother us. Where I can love you in peace, where you can love me, where we can just be together forever."
"We can forget the government," Levi added gently. "Forget everyone here, forget the titans. Go see the ocean together."
Eren's breath hitched, and for a second, regret flashed over his features. Levi feared he had crossed some invisible line - Arlert, Ackerman, and he had always wanted to see the ocean. But then Eren buried his face in Levi's chest, curling up comfortably in the embrace.
"I'd love that."
.-.-.-.-.
"The complaint has been placed with the government," Levi said darkly, spitting the word 'complaint' out with venom, as though putting it so lightly disgusted him. Wide-eyes soldiers watched him, some in shock, others in fear. "I'm afraid that our advances will be put to a screeching halt until the MPs decide to send someone down here to investigate the murders. I..." Suddenly he looked remorseful, and for an instant, Eren knew he regretted everything he had done, every promise he'd broken. "I'm sorry. Our operations have been frozen in their tracks. We'll likely be unable to do anything for months."
"We can't assign someone else as Commander?" someone asked shakily, a faceless soldier.
"Captain Levi should do it."
"Right! He's Humanity's Strongest!"
"Or maybe we could get Shadis to come back?!"
Hopeful voices filled the mess hall, but upon Levi raising his hand, they all fell silent and the hope faded from their faces at his grim expression.
"None of that will work. I'm... not exactly a fit leader. Shadis has already retired and will never return. We can't make a decision ourselves, anyway."
It seemed he wasn't going to say anymore. Perhaps he just didn't want to deal with the onslaught of questions and misguided fears, or simply couldn't bear to listen to the soldiers he'd let down. The captain moved away from the head of the table, head bowed as he walked through the throng of soldiers, brushing off any words directed at him. Upon reaching Eren, he merely linked their fingers together, before whisking the boy away to his quarters - their quarters.
Eren settled down in his usual place in Levi's lap, nestling against him and nuzzling the pale neck. He spent a moment or two in silence, before murmuring, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were really upset about the circumstances."
Levi's lips twitched into an uncontrollable grin, and he pressed a kiss to Eren's temple. "You know me so well. I love it."
"Not worried the MPs will find out?"
"They're too much of idiots. Besides, they won't come for a long while, ages even." Levi's hands stilled on Eren's hips. "Does it bother you? Our titan killing escapades are no longer going to happen. You were always so determined to kill them."
"I... it does," Eren responded truthfully. "But not as much as it should. I've already done enough to disappoint the people I used to love. I don't think... I don't think getting revenge for Mom will do anything for me now." He sounded somber, and Levi ran gentle hands up and down his back sympathetically. "What about you? All the promises you made? Isabel and Farlan and all those dead soldiers under your command?"
"I've come to terms with the fact that the task is impossible," Levi said quietly. "It hurt for a while when I first realized there was no way to make up for the deaths, but now... well... let's just say I've always excelled at being a failure, and I've grown to excel at dealing with that fact."
Eren pulled back to stare into his lover's eyes, brow furrowing. "You're not a failure, Levi. If you're a failure, what the hell would that make me? You can't fulfill impossible promises, and you can't dwell on the past."
"You're right. I can't linger in what could never be. You shouldn't either." He stole Eren's lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. "All that matters to me is you. You're the only thing in life that makes it worth living. And if anyone else tries to interfere..."
"We'll get rid of them," Eren finished, sea green gazing into silver lovingly.
.-.-.-.-.
I'm officially fucked, but that's okay. We can be fucked up together.
I can't help but wonder - was I always like this? Always demented, always a fucking psycho? A wolf in sheep's skin? I always thought I wasn't mourning enough over the deaths... guess it doesn't matter, but I'm curious. When it comes down to it, I suppose murdering two guys without flinching when you're nine isn't the best sign of good mental health, but that's okay.
It just means Levi and I were meant to be.
Eren's blubbering and crying reached Levi even from around the corner, and fear instantly spiked in his heart, accompanied by rage. He'd known when Eren had been called to Erwin's office that nothing good could come of it, and found himself heading to the Commander's office not ten minutes after his lover had left. Now, with loud crying echoing down the hallway and the knowledge that he was right, Levi found himself dashing down the corridor and toward the open door at the end.
"Eren-!"
He skidded to a halt with his hand on the door frame, and his heart nearly stopped at the sight before him. Blood, too much blood to belong to simply one person, especially not one of the two that he'd known to be in the room, even if Erwin was a fucking giant. Where had all of this come from?
As Levi scanned the gory mess on the floor, he fought to fight down the terror that tried to claw its way up his throat. He'd never felt fear like this before, not since he'd lost his entire world through the death of two people. Now he was staring at two more bodies, more people he once cared for, cold and lifeless and hardly recognizable. Curled up in a corner a few feet away was another person, the source of the crying, covered in blood and gore and hyperventilating.
"Eren," Levi breathed, an impossibly powerful sense of relief washing over him as he rushed over to the boy and gathered him in his arms, mindless of the blood that splashed at his feet and seeped into his clothes. "Eren, fuck, what happened?"
"L-Levi - Levi!"
The brunet clawed desperately at the man's jacket, nails digging in as he gasped for air. His eyes were wide and face splattered with blood, with a few clean trails cleared by the unrelenting flow of tears. Eren thrashed wildly in his captain's grasp, choking around his sobs and the lump in his throat. Turquoise orbs were hazy and unseeing, staring right through Levi's worried face to fix on some unknown terror. Levi held Eren's arms down as well as he could, trying to stop his flailing, to no avail.
"Eren, stop, it's okay, I'm here!" Levi hadn't felt desperation like this in years. He tried rocking the boy back and forth, shushing him the best he could. "Please, Eren, calm down, talk to me, what's wrong?!"
"Can't-!" Eren's hands went to his own throat, and he clawed at the skin there, voice cracking and muted through his tears. "Le- Levi- b-breathe, can't... L-Levi!"
His chest heaved, shuddered, and with every second Levi's fear that it would stop moving increased. He ran his fingers soothingly through blood-streaked hair. "Shh, Eren, please. Come back to me." If the boy lost himself in the throes of panic, if he overwhelmed himself in the anxiety trying to consume him, he might never come back, and then all that Levi had done would be for naught. "Eren, breathe with me."
"C-Can't-"
"You can. I know you can." Levi took a deep, shaky breath, and let it out, ignoring his own fear. "Now you. In, out. Calm down..."
"D-Dead - killed - all my fault -"
"You had to do it." Levi had faith in that, at least, even if he was too frightened to be happy about it. He was sure that Eren had done what was necessary. "Now breathe..."
Finally, thankfully, Eren allowed himself the opportunity to try, and he took in great, shuddering lungfuls of air. Levi smoothed his hair back, held his free hand, planted kisses on his face. Anything to calm him.
"You okay?"
"N-No. Better, barely. Not okay."
Levi sighed, knowing he shouldn't have expected a positive response, but still feeling guilty at the words. He petted the shifter's hair lovingly, resting his cheek on Eren's head. "What happened?" he asked softly.
"Erwin knew. Thought I was a victim." Eren laughed, a bone-chilling sound. Levi found himself smiling at the noise. "Showed him I wasn't. Didn't think murder would be so easy. Didn't think it would drive me so insane."
"Let me guess, Mike found you?"
"Yeah. Thought something else happened, somehow." Another laugh, crazed this time, and shaking bloody fingers reached up to grasp at his brown locks. "Thought you came in and killed him. Realized it was me. I killed him too. So much blood, Levi, god, it's such a mess, didn't know there'd be so much..."
"It's beautiful," Levi murmured, pressing a kiss to the mop of brown hair. He surveyed the room, the splatters of red everywhere, the lifeless bodies, the gore all over the room. He dipped his fingers in the stomach and traced them over his lover's face lovingly. "You're beautiful. You look stunning like this."
Eren copied him, cupping blood-covered hands to Levi's face and thumbing under his eyes, smearing the substance over his skin. "You do too," he whispered, a small smile painting his features. "You look gorgeous, covered in it like this. You - you look like you belong covered in blood."
His smile grew, a dazzling display of pearly whites. Eren was seeing his captain in a whole new light, a beautiful disaster, a whirlwind of beautiful death and destruction. A breathtaking god of death, merciless and filled with unrelenting bloodlust.
Levi mirrored his expression, overwhelmed with emotion at the sudden transformation his lover had undergone. "My beautiful Eren. You have no idea just how thrilled this makes me. What changed?"
"I don't know," Eren breathed. "I just... snapped. He was going to turn you in. I wouldn't let him. I... I realized... I understood you. In that moment, I felt how terrible it would be to lose you. I couldn't take it." His smile faltered momentarily, but then returned full-force. "A world of our own, like you said. That's what we need. Some place where no one will bother us. Where I can love you in peace, where you can love me, where we can just be together forever."
"We can forget the government," Levi added gently. "Forget everyone here, forget the titans. Go see the ocean together."
Eren's breath hitched, and for a second, regret flashed over his features. Levi feared he had crossed some invisible line - Arlert, Ackerman, and he had always wanted to see the ocean. But then Eren buried his face in Levi's chest, curling up comfortably in the embrace.
"I'd love that."
.-.-.-.-.
"The complaint has been placed with the government," Levi said darkly, spitting the word 'complaint' out with venom, as though putting it so lightly disgusted him. Wide-eyes soldiers watched him, some in shock, others in fear. "I'm afraid that our advances will be put to a screeching halt until the MPs decide to send someone down here to investigate the murders. I..." Suddenly he looked remorseful, and for an instant, Eren knew he regretted everything he had done, every promise he'd broken. "I'm sorry. Our operations have been frozen in their tracks. We'll likely be unable to do anything for months."
"We can't assign someone else as Commander?" someone asked shakily, a faceless soldier.
"Captain Levi should do it."
"Right! He's Humanity's Strongest!"
"Or maybe we could get Shadis to come back?!"
Hopeful voices filled the mess hall, but upon Levi raising his hand, they all fell silent and the hope faded from their faces at his grim expression.
"None of that will work. I'm... not exactly a fit leader. Shadis has already retired and will never return. We can't make a decision ourselves, anyway."
It seemed he wasn't going to say anymore. Perhaps he just didn't want to deal with the onslaught of questions and misguided fears, or simply couldn't bear to listen to the soldiers he'd let down. The captain moved away from the head of the table, head bowed as he walked through the throng of soldiers, brushing off any words directed at him. Upon reaching Eren, he merely linked their fingers together, before whisking the boy away to his quarters - their quarters.
Eren settled down in his usual place in Levi's lap, nestling against him and nuzzling the pale neck. He spent a moment or two in silence, before murmuring, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were really upset about the circumstances."
Levi's lips twitched into an uncontrollable grin, and he pressed a kiss to Eren's temple. "You know me so well. I love it."
"Not worried the MPs will find out?"
"They're too much of idiots. Besides, they won't come for a long while, ages even." Levi's hands stilled on Eren's hips. "Does it bother you? Our titan killing escapades are no longer going to happen. You were always so determined to kill them."
"I... it does," Eren responded truthfully. "But not as much as it should. I've already done enough to disappoint the people I used to love. I don't think... I don't think getting revenge for Mom will do anything for me now." He sounded somber, and Levi ran gentle hands up and down his back sympathetically. "What about you? All the promises you made? Isabel and Farlan and all those dead soldiers under your command?"
"I've come to terms with the fact that the task is impossible," Levi said quietly. "It hurt for a while when I first realized there was no way to make up for the deaths, but now... well... let's just say I've always excelled at being a failure, and I've grown to excel at dealing with that fact."
Eren pulled back to stare into his lover's eyes, brow furrowing. "You're not a failure, Levi. If you're a failure, what the hell would that make me? You can't fulfill impossible promises, and you can't dwell on the past."
"You're right. I can't linger in what could never be. You shouldn't either." He stole Eren's lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. "All that matters to me is you. You're the only thing in life that makes it worth living. And if anyone else tries to interfere..."
"We'll get rid of them," Eren finished, sea green gazing into silver lovingly.
.-.-.-.-.
I'm officially fucked, but that's okay. We can be fucked up together.
I can't help but wonder - was I always like this? Always demented, always a fucking psycho? A wolf in sheep's skin? I always thought I wasn't mourning enough over the deaths... guess it doesn't matter, but I'm curious. When it comes down to it, I suppose murdering two guys without flinching when you're nine isn't the best sign of good mental health, but that's okay.
It just means Levi and I were meant to be.
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