FicWad

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: Bad news- my computer broke on Friday. The problem seems to be hardware related and not hard drive related, so I think everything should be good eventually, but I might not have it back for a few days or so. Count on the next chapter being delayed because of this. This chapter was meant to go on further, but I have a decent stopping point, so I wanted to get something posted to keep any downtime as minimal as possible.

Good news- I was able to get everything I'd written saved & e-mailed first. Thus, this chapter isn't lost.

Sex and violence incoming. I have a feeling this chapter will get some interesting responses.

-oOoOoOo-

Harry stared after the beautiful snowy owl as she flew off into the distance. He had been corresponding with Narcissa Malfoy, and if you had told him that last year, wouldn't he have stared in shock and horror? Regardless, he and Pansy were now officially confirmed for her New Year's Eve Party at Malfoy Manor. Harry was sure that Edmund Parkinson would not be there.

December was turning into a rather strange month for him. The snow had already arrived, and things seemed serene. But there were problems as well. A couple of weeks ago, he had told Pansy of Dobby finding that both Dahlia Parkinson and Leddy had disappeared. She had not taken the news well. Pansy wept openly at the thought that her father had killed the house-elf. She could not imagine any other fate, as Leddy would have contacted her if she had been freed. Pansy admitted that she hadn't always had a very good relationship with the elf, really only befriending her that last summer, but still Leddy had certainly cared more about Pansy than her father ever had and probably her mother as well. At least that's what she said, but Harry still worried about her reaction.

She had claimed not to care about what happened to her mother and said the tears were only shed for the kind little elf. But Harry doubted that. From everything she had told him, while her father was a monster, her mother was not. Maybe not a very good parent, certainly neglectful, and not very caring, but at least not abusive. If she had been a worse person, Pansy might have been happy that she was possibly dead. He would certainly never shed a tear for any of the Durlseys, not even Petunia, whether she was his mother's blood or not. A part of him still wondered if one of them was adopted. The Evans grandparents had died before he was born, so he doubted that he could find out easily and was starting to convince himself to just assume it was true. His beautiful mother just couldn't be related to that awful shrew. And that's before mentioning how they looked nothing alike.

The last couple of weeks had made him more worried though. Pansy had been quieter, more pensive. He tried a few times to get her to talk. She always said that she was fine or that she just had other things on her mind. The one time he had really pushed, telling her that he would always be there for her and that he could tell she was upset at her mother's disappearance (he had avoided saying death in effort to not upset her more), Pansy had responded with anger and shouting. Demanding that Harry just leave her alone and stop trying to get inside her head. She had gone to what was supposed to be her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. It was their first fight.

Three hours later, he was about to go to bed alone for the first time in months when she finally came out. She didn't say anything as she walked over and sat by him on the couch. Harry immediately started apologizing, saying that he wouldn't push anymore, he would give her space if that's what she needed, that he loved her, and probably other things as he rambled. It would not have been his proudest moment, but he didn't care at the time. He had been thoroughly miserable at thinking that he had hurt her enough to cause the fight.

Her response was to kiss him. She didn't say a word, she just attacked his lips. Then she began tearing his clothes off. And her own. They didn't go to the bedroom. That would have wasted time. And they didn't make love.

They fucked.

It was not sweet, nor tender. It was desperate, and almost violent in their physicality. They grabbed and pulled at each other in a frenzy. Needing more. Not soft caresses, but frantic grasping. She clawed at his back. He squeezed her breasts and pinched her nipples. She bit down on his neck hard enough to draw blood, but by then, his thrusts were peaking and even the pain wasn't strong enough to throw off his orgasm.

Afterwards, she clung to him, arms and legs wrapped as tight as she could. Neither of them said a word. They trembled together, their muscles and emotions both trying to calm down. They stayed there even in their discomfort, with the cushions of the couch all out of place or on the floor. Harry felt a numb pain on one ankle and saw in the corner of his eye that the table had been kicked a couple of feet out of the way. Eventually, she kissed his cheek and her arms relaxed their hold. Harry sat up and she took his hand.

Pansy led him into the bathroom, then softly cleaned the blood off him. She performed a couple of healing spells to remove the bite mark. They checked themselves over for other wounds and found only a couple of bruises that thankfully would not show when they were dressed.

When they went to bed, they held onto each other a little more tightly than usual.

Just before he drifted off, Harry realized what the big deal about make up sex was. It wasn't necessarily better, but it was certainly something more... Passionate? Sort of. Draining, definitely. Exhausting.

-oOoOoOo-

That had been a few days ago, and things were better since then. Pansy was still a bit closed off, but less so. Harry decided to be patient and trust her to come to him if she needed.

Two nights ago, though, they had a different sort of bonding experience. They snuck into the restricted section of the library together a couple of hours after curfew.

They had each been in search of specific types of magic.

Harry looked for, and found, how to create port keys. He wanted this for a reason, but he was keeping it a secret for the moment. It would be a useful enough skill in the future anyway that he did not have to come up with anything to mislead Pansy.

Pansy had remembered and found the term for magical mind reading that she had wanted to do. Legilimency. Finding a book on how to create portkeys was easy enough that Harry helped her in a search for a book on mental magic. It took nearly an hour, but finally, they had their prizes and quietly made their way back to their quarters.

Thankfully, it had been a Friday night, as they spent the next day sleeping very late.

Saturday, Pansy read to him about Legilimency and he realized how it could be useful but only in careful circumstances. Using it silently was supposed to be extremely difficult, and if someone heard the incantation, they could know what you were doing. Not to mention that eye contact was also required. Harry instantly grasped that they would need to only use it if they could confound, Obliviate or otherwise befuddle the target. Still, it would be another effective tool against an enemy, if you could get them alone, to delve into their secrets.

So, naturally, Harry and Pansy spent part of Saturday night trying it out on each other.

And once again, their magic performed in an unusual way. Harry dove into her mind on the first try with incredible ease, and he saw images of her past. A few pleasant memories of her time with him at first. Then he found a vague childhood memory of her mother reading to her. He felt a tension in Pansy's being at that, so he let the scene fade.

Unfortunately, the next thing he found was much darker. He saw the confrontation with her father.

Harry reacted by pulling out as fast as he could.

Pansy had tears in her eyes. He embraced her and apologized for making her relive that.

She responded by deciding to study the defense against Legilimency as soon as possible.

When she cast the spell on him, he could feel her slipping into his mind. It was actually quite pleasant. As she looked around, he knew that he could guide her to memories that he wanted her to see. He went back to their first kiss. Then the night of his birthday. Their first night together once he claimed her. Honestly, he was becoming a night owl now that he spent all of them with her.

He also decided to show her a few things from his first couple of years at school, before they became close. He showed her the troll from his first year. He felt a bit foolish looking back at his actions and he noticed her fear. He wasn't sure how, but he could just tell what she was feeling while she watched. So he reached out to calm her. He imagined holding her hand and felt the trepidation coming from Pansy cease. He decided to show her something more relaxing next.

So he went back to when he found the Mirror of Erised.

It felt like longer than two years ago to him. There they were looking at him from the reflection. Not just his parents, but who he assumed must have been grandparents and other ancestors as well. The memory was still a bit overwhelming, but he could tell that Pansy enjoyed seeing it.

He felt her withdraw from his mind.

When she asked why she didn't see any of his bad memories, he told her that he guided her to things that he thought she might want to see instead of things that were painful. Pansy had no idea how he did that, as she felt like she was following along with whatever he saw in her mind like a passenger.

He promised to try not to go looking for things she wouldn't want him to see if they were going to do it again.

She asked to see his confrontations with the Dark Lord at the end of both his first two years. Harry didn't want to worry her over the dangers of his past, but she insisted. She said that needed to know to be able to better prepare for the future.

So Harry reluctantly agreed.

After reliving the pitiful traps that guarded the stone, Harry worried even more that Dumbledore might be going senile. They were ridiculously simple.

Facing off against Quirrel and Riddle's face growing out of the back of his head was kinda gross now that he looked back.

Pansy was shaken up by the whole thing. Dobby made them some tea, and Harry waited for her to calm herself before letting her go back in to watch the events of the Chamber of Secrets. Just before she was ready to cast the spell again, he asked Dobby to have more tea ready soon. Something as soothing as possible.

He knew she was going to need it.

She raised her wand and Harry felt her slip into his mind once again. He let his memory drift back to finding out that Ginny was the one who had been taken into the Chamber. The stupidity of Lockhart. Going on alone. The shade of Riddle gloating. Running from the enormous snake. Relief at the appearance of Fawkes. Pulling the sword from the hat. Driving it through the roof of the monster's mouth. Triumph, but also pain. Pulling the fang from his arm. More gloating from Riddle. The tears of a phoenix. Stabbing the diary. The ink oozing out like blood onto the stones.

All through it, he could feel her. Her fear but also her determination to know just what he had gone through. He decided to show her a couple of other things before the night was through.

She came back out shivering. Harry wrapped his arms around her. He told her he wanted to show her two more things. Two decisions he had made. She was reluctant, but she cast the spell one more time.

He showed her the confrontation with Malfoy this time, after the Chamber. How he had freed Dobby. And how Dobby had protected him when Malfoy raised his wand.

Then he showed her the day they met. Well, not technically the day they met, but the day they got to know each other.

"Those were two of the most important decisions of my life. Protecting you from the Weasleys and freeing Dobby. They led me to finally having a family."

-oOoOoOo-

As annoying as Colin Creevey's exuberance could be, he had both knowledge and a camera that Harry needed. Thankfully, with the praise for saving everyone from the dementors on top of the already built-in hero worship, Colin was more than happy to help Harry.

With Pansy studying much of that Sunday on Legilimency and Occlumency, sneaking away to Hogsmeade for a part of her upcoming present was easy.

Putting it all together would hopefully go well, but he would need privacy to make sure that it would still be a surprise once her birthday came around.

-oOoOoOo-

"Harry, mate, have you decided what you're doing for Christmas?"

"I'm going home. How about you?"

"I guess we all are. I was thinking of inviting you to the Burrow, but..."

"Don't worry about it Ron. I've actually got a home worth going to now. Have fun with your family."

"Right. Maybe next summer you can come visit. I'm sure mum would love to see you again."

"That could be fun. Any specials plans for you Hermione?"

"Nothing unusual. Harry, could I ask a favor of you?"

"Sure."

"Could you help me practice the Patronus charm again?"

"I'm pretty busy. How about after the holidays? You still want to even though they aren't coming back?"

"I still want to learn it. Dementors are terrifying. If I ever come up against them again, I want to have a defense to fall back on."

"Alright. Have you guys seen Pansy this afternoon?"

"I think she's still in your quarters. She hasn't come out since lunch, unless you let her borrow your cloak."

"Okay. Well, I've got to take care a couple of things. I'll join you for dinner, alright?"

"See you later, mate."

He stepped through the guardian portrait and found Pansy sitting on the couch, seemingly in meditation. Harry walked quietly into his bedroom and stashed a couple of items into his trunk. By the time her came back out, Pansy was looking at him expectantly.

"Where have you been?"

"Can't a man have a few secrets?" He gave her a wink.

"Was Dobby along to keep an eye on you? Just to make sure you weren't doing anything dangerous."

"Oh ye of little faith."

"Black is still out there. The aurors haven't had any more luck than the dementors."

"I know, but I doubt he's going to just be strolling down the streets of Hogsmeade."

"So you did go to Hogsmeade today."

"Stop fishing for details. I'll just say that I remember that your birthday's coming up. Don't pry because I'll be upset if you ruin the surprise."

"Alright, master," Pansy said huskily.

"Saying that in a sexy voice isn't going to get me to spill anything more."

"Fine," she pouted. "Then I want you to try to out my Occlumency. I've been studying all afternoon and want to see if this helps any."

"Okay. Tell me when you're ready."

"Whenever you are, Harry."

"Legilimens."

He felt his magic slip into her mind. There was a bit more effort required and once he got in, it felt fairly different. There were invisible walls that he could feel. They weren't particularly strong- Harry could tell that he could punch through them if he wanted without too much difficulty. If he looked hard enough, he could see through them into what he guessed were the memories she had hidden away. To his right, he saw her father's angry scowl. Harry quickly looked away; after all, he had promised not to go digging for anything painful.

Instead he turned to the opposite direction and found an open path. He felt himself moving down a series of steps and saw images of their time together. He saw her making the magical photograph she had given him for his birthday last summer and that delightful blue summer dress she wore. There was a brief surge of pain as Leddy had helped with taking the photo.

The image dissolved into the two of them walking down a hall at Hogwarts. He realized from the conversation that it was just after he had claimed her from her father using the life debt. As they neared the Great Hall, Harry saw the bright smile on her face that Pansy quickly forced away. When they walked in together though, he could feel her satisfaction at being with him, and the enormous smirk wanting to burst free at all the people staring at her of all people being with him.

For a moment, he felt a flash of her insecurity. The worry that someone else could take her place. That so many other people could have told him the secrets that had been kept from him. The knowledge that got him away from his evil muggles. But even in that moment of her doubt, he felt pleased that she hated the Dursleys so much on his behalf, and he could tell that she wanted to get revenge on them for how they had treated him.

He felt something similar coming from within Pansy and a brief part of that awful night at the end of summer came back. She was excited with delight at Harry's hatred for her father. If he hadn't already made up his mind, that might have done it.

He didn't realize that the scene had changed again.

It was the quidditch match and he could feel her emotions bubbling right up to the surface. Her jealousy and irritation towards Narcissa and then Parvati. Then her annoyance as the weather worsened and she wished that Harry was next to her to cling to for warmth. Then her frustration at him for wanting the match over as fast as possible so he could go back inside and warm her up properly. Harry could see her fantasy of sharing a nice hot bath with him. He would have to remember to do that as soon as possible.

Dementors swarming put an end to that thought as he felt her spike of fear. He could tell it was her father, that night when he had failed to protect her, that the dementors forced upon her and he wanted to go back in time to really make those monsters hurt. How dare they do that his girl?

But that feeling quickly melted away, replaced by her joy and serenity once his Patronus washed over her.

Harry let go of the spell and pulled out from Pansy's memories.

"That was different. How do you feel?"

"It was a bit stressful when you cast the spell. I could tell that my defenses couldn't hold you out, but once you were inside, it felt like I had more control over what you could see."

"Then I guess your practice worked, at least partially. I suppose I should try to learn it as well. It seems like the type of thing old Tom might know, so it might come in handy some day."

Pansy was sweating slightly from the effort of trying to defend her mind from him, and he noticed a shiver from her. The sky outside was grey and it looked like a few snow flakes were beginning to fall. This reminded Harry...

"You know, I saw the quidditch match from your point of view. I believe you wanted to soak in a nice hot bath after the game. I think that bath is a month overdue."

Her smile told him she liked his idea. They were quickly in the bathroom, with the tub filling as they stripped out of their clothes. As soon as the water was just right, Harry stepped in and sat down. Pansy settled down in front of him and he kissed the nape of her neck as she slid into his embrace.

"Harry?"

"Hmm..."

"You aren't supposed to be able to read thoughts from Legilimency."

"Yes, I was seeing your memories."

"Right, but I didn't say anything about wanting to soak in a bath at the quidditch match, although I was thinking it."

"That's...odd."

"I guess it wouldn't be the first time our magic interacted with each other in a strange way."

"Enough talk, more relaxing." He closed his eyes. Everything just felt right; she was in his arms. She shifted a bit and lay her head back against him.

Dobby lowered the lights for his humans. The elf had a feeling he would need to wake them in time for dinner.

-oOoOoOo-

The next few days passed in relative calm. Wednesday night though, Dobby let him know that it was time. Harry excused himself from his friends after dinner, saying that he had some work he had to get done that night.

Pansy, of course, wanted to know what he was up to.

"So, what's going on tonight?"

She followed Harry as he went into the bedroom and changed out of his school robes. She was eyeing him skeptically.

"A moment of privacy please."

"Since when are you shy about me seeing you out of clothes? Normally, you'd be trying to get me undressed too."

"I did say I had some work to do tonight."

"Harry," she growled at him.

"Give me a minute please."

She went out into the living room with a huff. Harry held in his snicker till she left. He quickly retrieved his cloak.

"Everything still set Dobby?"

"Yes, master Harry."

"Alright, let me tell Pansy we're going out and we'll be off." The house-elf followed Harry as he stepped back into the living room.

"Now, what's going on?"

"I have to get something done for your birthday. You don't want me to ruin the surprise, do you?"

"Dobby, are you going with him?"

"Yes, miss Pansy."

"Alright, well take care of him," she told the elf who happily agreed. "And you," she grabbed Harry by the collar and pulled him down into a searing kiss, "be careful, mister secretive. Don't stay out too late or you'll miss the fun we could have before bed time."

Harry smiled briefly before turning and popping away with Dobby.

-oOoOoOo-

They appeared in an empty room with pieces of wood splintered from the walls. It was nearly impossible to recognize it as Pansy's former bedroom. Harry put on his cloak and Dobby disappeared from sight.

"Dobby will check to see which room the bad man is in."

Harry cast a quick charm to muffle the sounds of any movement. A moment later, he heard the elf's voice.

"Bad man is in the office downstairs."

"Follow me and watch my back, Dobby. If anything goes wrong, incapacitate him if you can. If not, we'll need to escape."

Harry quietly crept through the large empty manor. It was darker than it had been the last time he'd been here. Even at the main stairway leading down to the entry hallway, very few lamps were lit. But he could see, to the left of the bottom of the stairs, an open door leading to a room with his target.

Harry took a deep breath to calm himself before he slowly went down the stairs. He had his wand ready.

As soon as he could see into the lit room, he forced himself to aim carefully and poured all his willpower into the spell.

"Imperio!"

Edmund Parkinson stiffened very briefly before a calm expression overtook his face. Harry stepped into the room but kept under the cover of his invisibility cloak.

It was quite useful that they were in a study- the bastard was already sitting at his desk.

"You will take out a clean parchment and write out a confession of all your crimes. Then, on a separate piece of parchment, you will make a list of everyone you know to have been a Death Eater."

Parkinson began writing and Harry watched with his wand pointed at him the entire time. The quill scratched on and on. The first parchment was full and he turned it over and continued to write on the back for a few more lines before he finally started writing the second page.

Harry silently summoned the first page over to him and skimmed through it. Much of it was sickening but not surprising. He found the one thing he feared would be on the list and set it aside. Once Parkinson finished writing on the second page, Harry also summoned it over.

He looked over the desk. Parkinson was still sitting there with a vacant look on his face. Harry summoned several more blank pieces of parchment and quickly made a hand full of copies of Parkinson's confession before removing the references to him casting the Cruciatus curse on Pansy. He then levitated one of the duplicates onto the desk in front of the Death Eater.

"What happened to your house-elf?"

"I disposed of it."

"You killed her?"

"The creature was disobedient. If it wasn't going to serve properly, then it was useless."

"What happened to her body?"

"I transfigured the thing into a bone and put it out with the rest of the garbage."

Harry almost wished he knew some really nasty curses to use on this evil fucking bastard.

"Why didn't you list this in your confession?"

"Disposing of property is not a crime."

"You murdered her."

"It was just a house-elf."

Harry ground his teeth and forced himself to calm down and stick with the plan. He whispered to Dobby to get a sharp knife from the kitchen and put it on the desk. One house-elf pop later, a butcher knife appeared.

"Where is your wife's body?"

"Buried in the backyard."

"Write the location on the bottom of your confession." He picked up the quill and followed the order. Harry looked at him with pure hatred.

"Now pick up the knife and slit your throat."

-oOoOoOo-

It was late when Harry returned to Hogwarts that night. Pansy was already asleep, so he got changed and slid into bed next to her. She rolled over and snuggled into his side. Harry kissed her head and smelled the fragrance of her hair. Her scent calmed him. He held onto her and breathed her in over and over.

A part of him wondered if he should feel worse.

But she was safe now. That was what mattered.