Categories > Original > Humor

How Wild Rebels Should've Ended

by PickleGarden 0 reviews

A better ending of the MST3K movie, Wild Rebels

Category: Humor - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Published: 2018-10-08 - 851 words - Complete

Needs no explanation. An MST3k fanfic!

Joel, Tom Servo, and Crow were watching the end of the biker movie Wild Rebels. They couldn't be more glad to see it end. Wild Rebels was a 1967 B movie about a Biker Gang. In a town called Citrusville Florida. A lighthouse was on the beach. There was a police stand-off involving bikers who were wanted for many crimes. The cops recruited a failed stock car driver named Ron to infiltrate and get the dibs on the bikers. The bikers were called Satan's Angels and they had a female accomplice named Linda. As the standoff ended, the bikers Geeter, Banjo and Fats were killed. The police were moving in to arrest Linda who was kissing Ron. In a dramatic twist, Linda pulls a gun on Rod. Joel said, "Woah! We didn't see that coming!"

Ron raises his hands in the air, "What's this all about?" Tom Servo says, "I don't think this is over, yet!" Linda yelled, "You set us up to get killed! You were on the fuzz's side so you can lure us here to kill and arrest us!" Rod was in a state of panic, "Thought you were going to go straight now!" he said. Crow said, "Let me take an educated guess here! She's going to kill him for the kicks!" "I loved those bikers very much! I had lots of fun with them. Commiting crimes and running from the cops! You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me, Rod! I will NOT go to prison because of you!" shouted Linda. "I warned you that would happen!" said Rod in his defense. "Don't worry, there's always other bikers gangs! Why not join the Hell's Angels!" said Crow. "Linda, stop this!" demanded Rod.

The police were running into the lighthouse, and Linda was chasing Rod up the stairs. "Tom Servo said, "Oh no! Here we go again!" the Wild Rebels theme song played and Tom Servo imitated it. The police were chasing Linda who was chasing Rod and shooting at him. Linda even shots Rod in the other arm. Joel said, "That was my writing arm!" As Linda was shooting at Rod, Crow said, "She's the female Bernie Getz! Better keep her away from subways!" Linda went insane she even shot and killed some police officers who were chasing her.

"Wow! All cops have great dance moves when they get shot!" said Crow. "Have a feeling this isn't going to end well for poor Rod." said Joel. "Has it ever?" asked Tom Servo. Linda chased Rod to the top of the lighthouse. "I'm always going to be bad for the kicks! I'm going out a bad girl!" screamed Linda as she was about to finish off Rod. The chase soon ended when a gunshot was heard. Linda was the one who got shot from behind by the detective. Rod was relived when Linda got killed. Linda fell off the lighthouse and screamed. Tom Servo imitated her, "I'm falling off the lighthouse for the kiiiiiicccccccckkkkkkksssss!"

Linda was now face down in the water. She was dead. "You know, I'm going to miss her and and her murderous ways!" said Joel about Linda. Crow said, "Now she'll sleep with the fishes like Luca Brazzi!" Rod began to cry. Then the "Well I Like What I Know About You Song that Rod sang earlier as the Detective the Rod walked out of the lighthouse. "You know, I love that song. Wanna kiss!" said Joel. "Like your Walston Barino suit, too!" said Tom Servo. Rod looked out into the water and saw Linda's dead body. "Forgot about her Rod! She's shark food now!" said Crow. The Detective and Rod walked into the police car in a bird's eye view. "Hey, it's Godcam!" said Crow.

The camera switched to the detective and Rod in the car driving away. "Well Rod, twenty dead cops, six dead innocent bystanders, dead bikers, and a dead psycho biker moll! Good work! Love to have to you on my team!" said Tom Servo. "Signal to Godcam!" said Joel as the birds eye view of the beach was shown as the car drove off. "Because I get a kick out of...oops! Wrong song!" said Crow. "Louie, this could be a start of a beautiful friendship!" said Tom Servo. "When you were trying to signal me, that was so funny, I thought you were kissing the girl!" said Joel. "Do you live alone? Would you like to?" riffed Crow. Then the movie ended and Tom Servo, Joel, and Crow exited the theater. "Let's get out of here!" said Tom Servo. "We should really go." said Joel.

In their final riffs of Wlld Rebels, Tom Servo said, "Will Rod ever find true happiness?" Joel said, "Think he always has! With the detective!" "Crow said, "Who cares! The movie's over! We don't have to think about Geeter, Banjo, Fats, Rod, and Linda ever again!"

Know Rod and the Detective just walked along the beach in the end, but I wanted to end it where they just drove off in a car.
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