Categories > Original > Humor

Anarchy On The SOL

by PickleGarden 0 reviews

A CollegeHumor fanfic that takes a jab at MST3K.

Category: Humor - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Humor,Parody - Published: 2018-10-12 - 1140 words - Complete

MST3K theme song plays, respectively. Only the part that says, "If you're wondering how Joel eats and breathes and other science facts. LA LA LA! Just repeat to yourself it's just a show I should really just relax for Mystery Science Theater 3000!" The 5...4...3...2...1 doors all close and Joel is seen without Tom Servo, Crow, or Gypsy. Joel introduces himself.

"Hey, everybody! Welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm Joel Robinson and these are my robot companions..." Joel looks everywhere for Tom Servo and Crow and they're no where to be found.

"Where is everybody! Come on, Robots! We got some B Movies to tell jokes about. Let's move it! Get on the ball!" Joel searches far and wide for the robots.

"Tom Servo!" "Crow?" "Gypsy!" "You're all asking for a whipping if you keep this shit up!" That is until Crow and Gypsy sneak up behind him.

"Boo!" Crow shouts aloofly. Joel is frightened, jumps about 4 feet, turns around then laughs. "Oh, Crow! You always had a thing for the unexpected. Gypsy scoffs sarcastically. Joel screams at Crow's and Gypsy's outfits. Crow is wearing a sleeveless white tank top and a thick necklace with a dollar sign pendent. Gypsy was dressed as a goth girl.

Trying to be supportive of their new choice of wardrobe Joel says, "Nice threads you guys! " "I'm a girl, not a guy. Stop calling me a guy, dumbass! Get your priorities straight!" Gypsy sasses at Joel.

Ignoring Gypsy, Joel goes over to Crow, "So, Crow! My wisecracking robot pal! Are you ready to make fun of some cheesy movies and tell sophisticated jokes that are beyond people's comprehension?"

Crow answers back in a combative way with ebonics, "I ain't doin' that shit no mo' with ya!" Looks all around the Satellite of Love. "Hate being trapped in space, dwag! If I wazzn't I'd be chillin' with my homies in the ghetto!"

Joel was astounded by Crow's use of ebonics. "Uhh, okay. Is this your way of making fun of whatever movie we're going to watch?"

"Oh, funk no! Sophisticated jokes my black ass! The only thing I find sophisticated are these lyrics from my Kodak Black album! Hate bein' in space, boyee! Wish I could send you to Compton, Joel!"

Joel defending himself, "That's not my fault. The mads..."

"Yeah, sure. Blame the mads for everything!" Gypsy spat out.

"Gypsy, you used to be such a sweet girl, what's going on with this? You look like Emily Strange or Ruby Gloom!" Joel asked.

Mouthing off at Joel, Gypsy replies, "Oh, I'm sorry is my new look too flashy for you? That jumpsuit makes you look totally conformist."

Joel looks down and saw a joint in Gypsy's mouth. "You're even smoking now?"

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it? Throw me in rehab?!" Gypsy challenged.

"If you guys want new ways to express yourselves, fine! But you still have to show me respect!" Joel tries to restore order and make peace.

"Who are you to lecture us about respect? You don't want to respect my choice to smoke weed! Then here you are always gloating about how you smoked weed in college! Don't chide me, you shit ass hippocrate!" Gypsy said grinding into Joel.

"We don't like you anymore! I want to chill with Flo Rida!" Crow called out as him and Gypsy walked away from Joel.

"Don't think I'm cool anymore! All right with me! I'll just do the Invention Exchange and make fun of cheesy movies by myself then!" Joel said pushing the buttons to call the Mads.

Out of the blue, Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank beams themselves up to the Satellite of Love.

Joel was stunned by this. "The Mads! How did you get here?"

Dr. Forrester explains, "Frank and I invented those beaming elevators from Star Trek, Joel!"

TV's Frank teaming up with his boss, "Have you noticed anything different about your robots?"

Joel said, "You know something about it, don't you!"

Dr. Forrester said, "We sent a virus to your robots so they can turn against you!"

Joel is out of his mind with fear. Could not imagine the turn of events that were upon him. "Is that why they're acting like rebellious teenagers?"

"You figured it out, good for you! Now, nobody can help you make fun of cheesy movies! Ee-ya! Ee-yoo!" Frank said walking up slowly to Joel.

Sweat and tears fell down Joel's face, "What do you plan to do here?"

Dr. Forrester announces, "Kick your ass! What else?"

"Why would you want to do that? Don't you torture me enough as it is with these B Movies?" Joel asking in terror.

"What do you want from us! We're evil! EVIL!" shouted Dr. Forrester and Frank together.

"Can I at least do the Invention Exchange?" asked Joel.

Without any word, Joel was beaten by Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank. Joel cries for help, "Tom Servo, help me!"

Tom Servo was in another part of the Satellite of Love playing Forge of Empires on the couch with a bunch of porno magazines next to him. The red gumball machine robot with the white and black hoverskirt was dressed as Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory. Even Tom Servo refuses to help Joel. "Leave me alone, Joel, I'm busy! Can't a teenage robot going through puberty who wants to get laid get any privacy around here!"

Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank were done beating on Joel. "Well, this was worth it!" Dr. Forrester said confidently. "Sure was!" said TV's Frank agreeing.

Joel struggles to get up, "You turned my robot friends into insurgent teenagers! You turned Crow into a hip-hopper, you turned Gypsy into a weed smoking goth, and you turned Tom Servo into a geeky gamer nerd! Proud of yourselves? You finally got me! You beat me! Are you happy? Are you happy now?"

Tom Servo looking at the porno magazines says, "Boy I wouldn't give to slam this dish!"

"Oh, shut up, Tom Servo!" Joel called out.

"Yes, we are very happy, Joel! Happy that we kicked your ass!" Dr. Forrester said. "You're a real wimp, you know that?"

"Now what?" asked TV's Frank.

"Push the Button, Frank!" demanded Dr. Forrester as Frank kicked Joel in the testicles.

Joel coughs up blood and is in a fetal position. Tom Servo, Crow, and Gypsy walk up to him.

"His ass is ours now!" Gypsy said. "I'm gonna show Joel how it's fucking done in the ghetto!" said Crow. "Want to show him something I learned from GTA!" Tom Servo said.

"Go to hell Joel!" "Fuck you, Joel!" "For acting and being like such a controlling overseer who cracks the whip at us!" "Anarchy! Baby! Totally Anarchy!"

Gypsy, Tom Servo, and Crow were now beating up Joel as the story of the video ends.
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