Categories > TV > Frasier > The Cousins Crane
INT. THE APARTMENT – NIGHT
TITLE CARD: THE COUSINS CRANE
David and Freddy are flopped on the couch in the living room.
FREDDY
Well, that could have been way worse. He could have hated the restaurant.
DAVID
Are you kidding? He only sent the wine back once, which for him is practically a rave.
Beat.
DAVID
I never thanked you. For what you did back there. Sticking up for me like that.
FREDDY
Yeah, well. It’s what you came for, right? We’re cousins. We ought to have each other’s back.
Beat.
FREDDY
Do you remember the time when Grandpa hired that puppet show for your sister’s birthday, and he walked out when your dad started lecturing him on the historical inaccuracies of his Punch and Judy?
DAVID
Oh, geez. I remember the puppeteer telling Dad who was going to get punched. Do you remember when your dad went overboard trying to make a turducken on Thanksgiving?
FREDDY
And we ended up with what looked like tentacles climbing out of a dead goat?
DAVID
I had nightmares about that thing for years!
They laugh together.
FREDDY
Yeah! Our family’s weird.
DAVID
Yeah.
Beat.
DAVID
So you think this could work?
FREDDY
Oh, hell if know. But we survived a lifetime of the Cranes. If we can’t stand each other for a year… well, I got your dad’s number.
DAVID
Oh, yeah? Doesn’t your mom live in town? Maybe I should look her up.
FREDDY
Aw, yeah. This is going to work great.
TAG:
As the credits roll, Freddy and David amuse themselves from the couch by trying to toss hats onto Brody’s head. Finally, Freddy gets up and fetches the mortarboard from his Harvard graduation. Tossing it like a Frisbee, he expertly lands in between the bear’s ears. David cheers and holds up his arms in the “it’s good!” sign.
FADE OUT.
TITLE CARD: THE COUSINS CRANE
David and Freddy are flopped on the couch in the living room.
FREDDY
Well, that could have been way worse. He could have hated the restaurant.
DAVID
Are you kidding? He only sent the wine back once, which for him is practically a rave.
Beat.
DAVID
I never thanked you. For what you did back there. Sticking up for me like that.
FREDDY
Yeah, well. It’s what you came for, right? We’re cousins. We ought to have each other’s back.
Beat.
FREDDY
Do you remember the time when Grandpa hired that puppet show for your sister’s birthday, and he walked out when your dad started lecturing him on the historical inaccuracies of his Punch and Judy?
DAVID
Oh, geez. I remember the puppeteer telling Dad who was going to get punched. Do you remember when your dad went overboard trying to make a turducken on Thanksgiving?
FREDDY
And we ended up with what looked like tentacles climbing out of a dead goat?
DAVID
I had nightmares about that thing for years!
They laugh together.
FREDDY
Yeah! Our family’s weird.
DAVID
Yeah.
Beat.
DAVID
So you think this could work?
FREDDY
Oh, hell if know. But we survived a lifetime of the Cranes. If we can’t stand each other for a year… well, I got your dad’s number.
DAVID
Oh, yeah? Doesn’t your mom live in town? Maybe I should look her up.
FREDDY
Aw, yeah. This is going to work great.
TAG:
As the credits roll, Freddy and David amuse themselves from the couch by trying to toss hats onto Brody’s head. Finally, Freddy gets up and fetches the mortarboard from his Harvard graduation. Tossing it like a Frisbee, he expertly lands in between the bear’s ears. David cheers and holds up his arms in the “it’s good!” sign.
FADE OUT.
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