FicWad

After Benji had left with Paul and Jenna was on the horse box Jackie told everyone to go about their own business. To leave Jenna to cool off and give her space. Max finished the horses and out of desperation made a call to his sister Frankie probably the only person to get through to Jenna at this point but he did dare tell Jenna.
“hey you ok?” max said as he walked on the horse box after finishing the horses.
“not really.” Jenna said in he closed off way.
“you wanna talk?” he asked causicously.
“not really.” She said again closed off.
“where are you going?” he asked dreading the response.
“a run.” She said.
“Jenna I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He said knowing she wouldn’t take his input well.
“well I do. At the minute the only thing keeping me half sane is keeping busy. If I sit still I drive myself insane so please just leave it for now.” Jenna said showing some emotion he let her leave.
Jenna was back from her run later than usual when she got back Seraya was on the horse box with max they both looked at her when she walked in.
“look guys I'm sorry but I really don't feel like a counselling session.” Jenna sighed.
“Jenna oh really think you need to here this. Ok if you don't want to talk but please just hear what I know then you can do what ever you want.” Seraya said quickly before Jenna could walk off.
“five minutes.” Jenna said knowing she wasn’t getting out of hearing her out. Seraya explained everything to Jenna that Benji and Paul had told her about Rachel’s little plot with hopes that it would one make Jenna feel better and two help sort things with her and Benji.
“It changes nothing.” Jenna said in her closed of guarded way.
“but Jenna...” Seraya pleaded.
“no I can’t I just can’t.” Jenna shook her head clearly fighting back her emotions.
“Jenna I think...” Seraya started.
“no Seraya, please just leave it. You said hear you out I have now please drop it.” Jenna said and went to leave.
“Jen.” Max called to her.
“I’m going doing a night check on the horses.” Jenna said as she went out the door.
“I should probably just go please make sure she's ok, I know you will.” Seraya said.
“I will and thanks Seraya.” Max smiled appreciatively at her she nodded and left.
When Jenna came back in its was getting late she made toast then went to bed. She was really quiet hardly spoke two words. She looked so exhausted and worn out.

The next morning max got up early to start the horses again to try to prevent Jenna from doing too much. To his surprise Jenna was already out doing the stables.
“your up early?” he smiled walking over to her.
“so are you.” She said straight back to catch him out knowing what he was getting at. He noticed she was quiet and closed off as she had been and he noticed how exhausted she looked, she'd even lost some weight not that she had any to loose in the first place.
“No run this morning?” he asked presuming as she had done so much with the horses she hadn’t been.
“yeh I went earlier.” She said.
“Right stop it. just stop! put the fork down, stop this, stop punishing yourself. you are not to blame. you are not Emma! Benji is not Karl! this is not like you and Karl. You need to stop this before you end up destroying your self!” max snapped he’d had enough of seeing her like this and she needed to snap out of it and let people help her. He was not willing to let her spiral back into that bad place she was in after Karl.
“I CAN'T!” she shouted angrily back at him which gained attention from everyone around. Then fell forwards to him breaking down crying he caught her and pulled her into his chest and held her as she sobbed. This is what she’d been holding in since this all began as heart breaking as it was to see her break down it needed to be done to get it out rather than her nearly killing herself in trying to hide and ignore it. After a moment when she called down he took her into the box.
“Max! A word!” Jackie called over to him he nodded and went over to her when he'd got Jenna settled.
He knocked on Jackie’s RV door and went in when she called.
“what’s going on?” she asked concerned.
“I didn't want to do this I feel like I’m ‘telling on’ her but something has to be done Jackie before she makes herself ill...” Max said and explained exactly what’s been going on with Jenna. Obviously everyone knew about the bit of drama surrounding Jenna and Benji but the main concern was Jenna over doing it with the horses the shows and running to take her mind off thing’s. Jackie agreed Jenna cannot carry on this way and they went over to see her.
“morning Jenna, how are you doing?” Jackie asked.
“so, so.” Jenna shrugged putting on a brave face playing everything down to Jackie.
“hmm see I hear your struggling a bit, I know you have some personal stuff going on and none of it is my business unless of course you want to share it with me then you know I’m hear for what ever you need. But honey I’m concerned about you over doing things now yes I’m guilty of putting Seraya’s show on you temporarily till she's back on her feet but you know we’ve all pulled together chipping in with the horses to balance it out and give you a break. What I’m concerned to hear is you then over doing it in other ways.”
“max.” Jenna said angrily that he gone behind her back.
“don’t be angry at him he’s done the right thing you look completely exhausted...” Jackie said.
“I've just not slept so well lately had a lot on my mind.” Jenna made excuses that where true.
“yes but added pressure that you don’t need like running on top of everything else you do isn’t going to help my dear.” Jackie said in a mother to daughter way.
“I’m fine honestly.” Jenna insisted but clearly not fine.
“look Jenna your not fine you need to take it easy now either you cut out the running or I’ll cut you from the show.” Jackie said sternly. Jenna looked at her shocked like she didn’t believe Jackie would ever do it.
“believe me I will do it I don’t want to as you are one of my best acts but I’d rather not have you doing it for a while till you rest and have max going around dressed as a clown on a one wheeler bike than put you at risk.” Jackie said as they all laughed a little at the thought then switched back serious as Jackie carried on.
“Jenna you cannot afford to be light headed and taking risks being over tired and exhausted when your doing both acts. You could kill yourself in either act of you missed a beat or had a dizzy moment. Now either you take it easy no running and no stable duties or your not doing the shows and off.” Jackie said sternly but still in a clearly caring way.
“ok but I’ll be fine doing the stables.” Jenna said looking like shed finally seen the light.
“hmm only if there’s no one else around to help but no running at all. If she goes for so much of a brisk walk max you tell me and that’s it your cut from the show till you learn to take it easy and stop punishing yourself.” Jackie said Jenna just sat there letting it all sink in.
“do you understand me Jenna Copeland?” Jackie said.
“yeh, ok.” Jenna nodded. She still looked like she had the weight of the world on her mind but there was a slight break trough in the fact she'd agreed not to run herself into the ground now. Max felt relieved although he knew he wouldn’t be in Jenna best books for going to Jackie. Jackie nodded satisfied she'd got through to Jenna and got up and left.
“I’m sorry I went to Jackie.” Max said sheepishly sitting down across from her.
“it’s ok I understand why you did. I’m sorry I’ve been a bitch to deal with at the minute.” Jenna said still very shutdown.
“hadn't noticed.” Max said sarcastically joking with a little laugh making Jenna smile.
“come on we've got a show to get ready for.” Jenna said in her soldiering on way.

MEANWHILE
Benji and Paul had been walking past the circus when they heard Jenna and max shouting and then seen Jenna break down.
“Paul I really need to see her and talk to her, put this right.” Benji said. “you’ve gotta get Seraya to sort something out please.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Paul nodded seeing how desperate and guilty Benji looked.


The rest of the day went by pretty uneventfully Good Charlotte played their show. Rachel was still staying with them and although there wasn’t any conflict there was a bit of friction between Joel and Rachel and the rest of the guys. Over at the circus everyone got on with thier day as if nothing had gone on and no one brought up what was going on with Jenna. Jenna put on her brave poker face as she was always good at as the show must go on and got on with the day doing her shows faultlessly and as spectacular as ever. Even though she got on and acted as if nothing was wrong everyone could tell it was all just an act she was a lot more closed off and quiet than normal.
“hey where are you going?” max asked Jenna as she got changed when they'd finished for the day.
“not for a run so you can cool your jets.” She smirked. Max was relieved to see her more humorous side again.
“I should hope not otherwise I’ll have to chain you to the bed.” He said without thinking how it could sound.
“oh bloody hell, max I thought we was both clear last time was a one time drunken mistake.” She said acting shocked at his innuendo but with a laugh.
“to rest, to rest I meant.” Max laughed. “how ever if you play your cards right I can get a bottle of tequila and...” Max joked.
“No! No more tequila.. ever!” she laughed.
“to be honest I'm no rush to have it again we drank way too much last time.” Max agreed.
“anyways I best get going Seraya wants to meet up for a drink over at the picnic area and watch the band’s.” Jenna said.
“ah that’ll be nice have a good time.” Max smiled. As Jenna went over to the picnic area max went to hang out with the rest of the guys from the circus sat chilling outside the RVs. As he got there he was surprised to see Seraya sat there
“hey what you doing here I thought you was meeting Jenna?” max asked her.
“Oh we well you see don’t be angry..” Seraya said as if a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“What have you done?” max said.
“so erm me and Paul might of sort of set Jenna and Benji up they think their meeting each of us but really their meeting each other. Don't be mad but I really think she needs to hear him out and just talk to him. If she does she’ll realise how much he loves her and how much he’s sorry for causing all this agro. She’ll see how much he cares and how their situation is totally different than how it was with Karl and Emma.” Seraya said before he had chance to go mad at her like she expected.
“I hope your right.” He nodded to her surprise agreeing with her.

Over at the picnic tables Jenna was at the table where she was meant to be meeting Seraya but there was no Seraya in sight. She checked her phone and as she looked up Benji was stood their looking a little confused.
“Oh erm have you seen Paul?” Benji asked her sheepishly.
“nope.” Jenna said looking round for any sight of Seraya.
“I was supposed to meet him here bit there's no sign of him.” Benji said also looking round as if too see Paul.
“hmm just like I was supposed to be meeting Seraya but there's no sign of her either.” Jenna said suspiciously working out what was going on. “I smell set up. You best sit down.” Jenna sighed amused at being tricked normally she would have seen this coming.
“what, do you think?” Benji frowned confused sitting down. He knew he asked Paul to help get him a chance to talk to Jenna but he didn’t expect like this but give Paul his due he was sat taking to Jenna.
“I’d bet my life on it.” Jenna said with a small smile.
They sat there in silence for a bit Benji not knowing where to start with all he wanted to say to her so just watched her people watching and watching the bands.
“Benj whatever you want to say just say it I can feel you eyes burning holes into my head.” She said catching him off guard he didn’t realise she had noticed him. She laughed at his shocked reaction at her noticing him.
“I don't know where to start to be honest with you I mean I think you already know everything now anyway.” Benji said.
“Yes Seraya has her uses.” She smiled with a laugh.
“well Mia has gone now and there’s no hard feelings there. We both knew for a long time our relationship wasn’t working we was both just very different people and in totally different places in our lives. Which doesn't make what I did with you right I know I hold my hands up I was wrong. Rachel was way out of order with her meddling and for that I am sorry for as again it was my fault you was put in that position. But you have to know everything I said and felt, feel for you is true. I love you I’ve always loved you my biggest regret was one not doing something about my feelings sooner and two leaving and loosing contact with you. If I could do things differently in hind sight I would and I can’t apologise enough.” Benji said.
“Benji I accept your apology its all been a bit of a mess hasn’t it but let’s just move on from it now.” Jenna said.
“but?.. I feel like there's a but?” Benji said anxiously.
“however I am not in the right place to be in a relationship right now. As I’m sure your aware I had a hard time with my ex and all this has just opened up old wounds. My heads all over the place at the minute which isn’t completely your fault; it just wouldn’t be fair to you or myself to start a relationship like this. I hope you understand and I’m not saying never just not right now.” Jenna said. Benji nodded it wasn't exactly the answer he wanted but it was progress.
“just know that I’m am here for you whatever whenever always.” Benji said to her going over giving her a hug that she recipitated. “friends?” he said as they pulled apart slightly but still in close contact.
“for now.” She smiled.
They chatted generally for a little while longer then decided to make a move.
“I’ll walk you back, I bet Paul’s there with Seraya.” Benji said.
“Yeh we have a bone to pick with them.” Jenna said faking anger.
As they got over to the RVs max Seraya Paul brad AJ and Erin where still sat chilling.
“Oh hey fancy seeing you two here, together.” Seraya said smugly to Jenna and Benji.
“yeh just so happens we was both stood up by so called mates.” Jenna played along.
“well it looks like you had a good time considering you was both stood up.” Max smirked and winked. Jenna flipped him off sarcastically with a laugh.
Benji and Jenna sat with them and they all chatted for a while longer until Benji and Paul and back to the bus and Jenna and max went over to do the late check on the horses.

The next day the festival was closed so every one had a day off. Max and Jenna was eating breakfast together, she had been out to feed the horses whilst max was preparing breakfast. Max felt relieved that she seemed a little bit more herself this morning.
“so what’s your plans for today?” max asked her.
“I could really do with riding the horses properly today.” She said. By properly she meant dressage style not vaulting practice.
“what all three?” max asked.
“yes all three sully needs the work, trigger could do with some schooling and if puzzle doesn't work today that means he’ll end up having two days off.” She said he still looked at her in the concerned way. “I’m not doing too much I haven’t been for a run this morning and you heard Seraya last night she'll be back doing her shows tomorrow so I'm back down to just doing my shows from tomorrow.” She explained.
“Ok well leave the stables I'll do those whilst your riding.” Max said.
“oh no you can’t it’s your day off.” She said.
“ yes and it’s supposed to be a day off for you too.” Max said.
“but their my horses, you don’t get a day off from horses.” Jenna said.
“honestly I don’t mind I’ve got nothing else to do.” Max insisted.
“your not going to take no for an answer are you.” Jenna laughed.
“No so you may as well just say thank you max.” He grinned at her joking.
“thank you max.” She said sarcastically rolling her eyes joking around with him.
They finished breakfast then went out to the horses Jenna tacked up sully and went riding him whilst max made a start on the stables.
As Jenna was riding she heard to her surprise and all too familiar voice.
“well it’s nice to see you riding a horse the right way up for a change.” Frankie max's sister said smiling at Jenna shocked reaction at her being there.
“Frankie what are you doing here?” Jenna laughed.
“well I heard there's a party tomorrow night not to be missed... and that you was having a bit of a hard time so I’ve come to sort your shit out.” Frankie said sitting on the wall as Jenna Carrie on riding as they was talking just like old times they would always chat gossip and put the world to rights whilst one or the other or both was riding. Jenna looked confused at first to how Frankie knew about what was going on then it was obvious.
“Max?” she shook her head Frankie nodded.
“Ok so come then I wanna hear it all in your words what’s been going on.” Frankie said.
“how long have you got.” Jenna laughed.
“as long as it takes.” Frankie smirked.
“good cause I’ve got the other two to ride as well.” Jenna laughed.
“Ok so from the start miss nothing out.” Frankie said shuffling getting comfy.
“Christ where do I start... well do you remember me telling you about Benji and the guys they're in a band good charlotte. I was in the last few years of school with them.” Jenna started.
“yeh they had a tough time with their dad leaving and obviously usual high school shit and you bonded over your fucked up family too. You and Benji where pretty close if I remember rightly.” Frankie said.
“yeh well we almost got together a few times but for one reason or another it just didn't happen then they got signed and went off on a big tour and we lost contact.” Jenna said clip notes version as Frankie did already know that story. “well we get here and who do I bump into but Benji. The band are playing here.”
“so how did you feel about seeing Benji again, has it changed your mind about this relationship sabbatical you’ve been on since all that shit with that good for nothing waste of space and oxygen Karl.” Frankie said not hiding for a second the hate she had for Karl and what he had done to Jenna. She knew the whole story about the break up with Karl.
“well that’s the thing it's not been that easy. At first yes we reconnected and yes there are defiantly feelings there.. on both parts. However I found out he had a girlfriend.” Jenna said. Frankie just nodded but you could see the fury in her eyes she was like max and Jackie now very protective over guys messing with Jenna after the shit Karl put her through.
“he says they never had a great relationship that they’re relationship was over long before we met back up. When he started spending time with me he knew it was time he ended it with Mia. He wanted to tell her in person rather than over the phone hence the overlap of spending time with me before he finally ended it with Mia. Then there was some trouble with Joel’s girlfriend...” Jenna tired to explain the best she could.
“...Benji's brother?” Frankie said keeping up with the story.
“..Yes. well Rachel his girlfriend is very good mates with Mia and she seemed to take Benji breaking up with Mia worse than Mia did. Mia didn’t seem to give too hoots really in fact she seemed happy it gave her more time to go shopping but Rachel on then other hand came over gave me a mouth full, hit me...”
“she hit you I hope you knocked her the fuck out.” Frankie exclaimed.
“well I'd have liked too but at the time I thought she was Mia so took it on the chin.. quite literally. She then set up this whole plan where she wanted it too look to me like Benji and Mia where getting back together and also almost trick them two into getting back together by making them think the other wanted to get back together just to cause trouble to prevent me and Benji getting together. It’s all getting very ridiculous.”
“Jesus the girl sounds fucked in the head.” Frankie laughed making Jenna laugh too. “so then what...”
“well I against my better judgement let Rachel get into my head I believed her when I seen Benji and Mia hug and kiss good bye that they actually was getting back together...”
“let me guess you hit self destruct, shut yourself off, put up them walls and probably nearly worked your self into the ground to take your mind off things.” Frankie said knowing Jenna all too well.
“bingo.” Jenna laughed.
“so where at you at now?” Frankie asked noticing she wasn’t as ‘self destruct’ as she expected if that was the end of it.
“well Benji figures out what Rachel was up too and pulled her on it. He explained everything to me insisted he loves me always has and always will and obviously Mia’s long gone.” Jenna said.
“and do you believe him?” Frankie asked.
“yeh, I do. The other guys back it up too they are all genuine good guys.” Jenna said.
“so what’s the problem?” Frankie said struggling to find why she wasn’t happy if there was nothing stopping her and Benji being together.
“its just you know there is strong feelings there and we click we really click.” Jenna smiled thinking of the good times herself and Benji have had over the years. “just you know with all the stuff I went through with Karl...” Jenna said.
“no don’t you dare let that piece of shit ruin your life, your happiness for a second longer. Jenna sweetheart you need to as tough love as this sounds get over it. What Karl did to you was horrible but this is you and Benji it’s nothing like that. You need to let those walls down and learn you let your self be happy again.” Frankie said Jenna nodded knowing she made sense and appreciating she has he balls to tell her like it is rather than banging her and sugar coating it like everyone else did.
“not just that though you know if it was meant to be with Benji then why has it always been so hard, so difficult. If it was meant to be then why hasn't it happened before now. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.” Jenna said.
“somethings that are really worth it you need to fight for you should know that better than anyone. I mean look at all you have here now you didn’t get that and where you are now because it was easy did you, you had to fight for it and work for it. Stop making excuses to not let your wall down.” Frankie said. Jenna let it sink in. “am I right?” Frankie grinned knowing she was
“I guess so.” Jenna smiled.
“see right so come on lady get back to you cheery self and enjoy life you’ve got so many good things going.” Frankie said. Jenna smiled feeling more at ease. This was why Frankie was her best friend an obviously max close second. When they’d finally finished talking Jenna had finished riding all three horses and they was walking back to the stables.
“one more question?” Frankie said Jenna looked at her.
“when in all of this did you sleep with my brother?” Frankie said faking being pissed off. Jenna looked at her horrified.
“well you see...” they both stated to laugh. “it was one very very drunken mistake that will never ever be repeated ever again.” Jenna laughed slightly embarrassed.
“jeeze was it that bad no wonder he can’t keep a girl friend.” Frankie pulled her face.
“well no it wasn’t but...” Jenna answered honestly.
“Jenna!” acting grossed out.
“well you asked!” Jenna laughed.
“What are you two laughing at?” max smiled as they got to the stables.
“you don’t want to know.” Jenna said.
“my brother and my best friend sleeping together, it’s wrong on so many levels guys.” Frankie said.
“what how do you know.” Max laughed.
“ah well you see I have my sauces.” Frankie said mysteriously. They both looked at he confused.
“Seraya. It was the first thing she said to me the minute I arrived.” Frankie explained. Max laughed and shook his head.
“that girl cannot hold her own water.” Jenna laughed. The three of them finished off the horses for the night then they was going over to the RVs for a few drinks with the guys from the circus.