Categories > Cartoons > American Dad
Daddy's Girl: The Tale of Stan and Hayley
0 reviewsWatching The Land Before Time drives a wedge between Stan and Hayley. This fanfiction is set when Hayley is eight. Steve is five
0Unrated
American Dad Presents
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Daddy's Girl: A Tale of Stan and Hayley
It was family movie night at The Smith House. Hayleys turn to pick the movie. It was very hard to choose a movie since the family watched all of them.
Until Hayley finds a DVD! "Lets watch this one!". That DVD she picked was The Land Before Time. The movie lasted for an hour. Hayley enjoyed it. Stan pretended to be into it. Steve and Roger we're crying there eyes out. As was Francine. When the movie was over, Hayley wondered what became of the cast.
Stan puts Hayley to bed and says, "I will tell you what happened to that girl who did Ducky's voice. Judith Barsi is her name."
Francine warns Stan, "You better not tell her!". Rogers gets a word in edgewise , "Go ahead and say it! Tell Hayley what became of Judith Barsi! She needs to learn reality!". The next day. Stan and Hayley are having breakfast in the kitchen. Roger walks in to join them. "Did you tell her yet"? Asks the alien!
"Not yet but I'm going to! ". Stan yelled defensively. Hayley says, "Come on! I wanna know what happened to Ducky" ! "I will soon! You'll know soon!" promises Stan.
Meanwhile with Steve, who asks Klaus, "Did you see this movie yet?" Klaus answers, "No not any Disney movie for that matter."
Steve tells the goldfish, "Well then. Let's get you started!" Roger runs up to Steve, "Wait up! I want in on this too!" Steve asks Klaus, "Which movie would you like to see first?" Klaus answers, "Let's try Bambi!" "You got it, palsy!" Roger said. Steve and Roger put in the Bambi DVD and show him the scene where Bambi's mother was killed. "So, does that bring any tears to your eyes, Klaus?" Roger pestered at Klaus. "Sad, isn't it? I cried for weeks after I saw that." said Steve.
Klaus denies it while holding back tears, "NOPE! I'm fine! That didn't bother me in the least! I have rhinosaurus skin!" Klaus stood boldly. "Dammit! Son of a bitch!" shouts Roger. "Remember what Mommy and Daddy said about bad words." warned Steve. "There's always tommorow!" Roger vows.
That night, it was Hayley's and Steve's bedtime. Stan walks into Hayley's room to tell her what happened to the voice actress that voiced Ducky. Francine walks up to Stan. "You look like you're on a mission!" said Francine in suspicion. "Mission? You mean to take down terrorists?" asked Stan trying to distract his wife. "You're going to tell Hayley..." as Francine was about to finish her sentence Stan says, "A bedtime story! What's better than Llama Llama Red Pajama!" Francine walks away, "All right. Whatever."
Hayley was in bed and Stan comes into her bedroom. "Daddy! You going to tell me a story?" asked Hayley excitedly. "Indeed I am! What you've been wanting to know." Stan boasted. Hayley claps her hands, "You're going to tell me what happened to...." Stan hushed Hayley, "That's why I'm here! I don't want Francine to know so keep it down." Hayley agrees, "Okay Daddy!" Stan brings in a laptop and types in Wikipedia. "We'll need Wikipedia for this one." informs Stan. "You mean that boring website?" Hayley said. "It's our only source to learn what occurred with Ducky." Stan tells her. "Our school always makes us use that for homework." Hayley says.
"There's no homework here to that needs to be done, Hayley!" Stan said. Typing in, Stan talks, "Judith Barsi......" The results come up in a flash. "Uh, here it is, Judi......" Hayley and Stan both hear an 'a-hem' from Francine. Stan pretends to read 'Goodnight Moon'. "Goodnight moon......" "You better not be scaring her!" Francine walked by Hayley's bedroom. Stan reads the wikipedia entry about the actress that voiced Ducky. "Judith Barsi also starred in, episodes of Remington Steel, Punky Brewster, Cheers, Trapper John...." Hayley says, "YES! YES! What else, daddy!" "Oh, and All Dogs Go To Heaven...."
"Oooh! We should watch that next!" Hayley said. Stan proceeds, "This weekend we will. Now, she starred in, The Fall Guy, Knots Landing. Ick! Soap Operas!" Hayley asks, "What kind of a family did she have?" Stan reads on, "Her father was named Jozsef spelled differently her mother Maria. Both were from Hungary. " "Yes! yes! Has she made any more movies after Land Before Time?" asked Hayley eagerly. Stan responded, "Afraid not. You see, it says here Jozsef killed both her and Maria. By shooting them both then dousing gasoline all over their house and setting it on fire. He killed himself afterward." explains Stan. Hayley was out of her mind with fear after what Stan had told her. "Well, you wanted to know. Now you do. Goodnight sweetheart!" Stan says leaving Hayley's room.
*
The following morning, Francine was making breakfast and Stan joins her. "Hey, beautiful! Lovely weather we're having! Nice day for a CIA mission!" Stan greets his wife. "Morning handsome! The usual? Scrambled eggs and bacon?" asked Francine. "You know it, baby!" Stan flirts with Francine. Steve, Roger, and Klaus join them for breakfast. "Hey, Roger, what Disney movie can we have Klaus watch next to get him to cry?" "Dumbo! The Baby Mine song!" suggests Roger. Klaus tells them both off, "FORGET IT! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO MAKE ME CRY!" Hayley joins them and she looked like she had been crying.
"Sweetie, are you okay?" asks Francine in concern.
"Yeah, I guess." Hayley said. Francine take a better look, "Now come on, Hayley. I can tell when you're upset. Tell mommy everything!" Stan jumps in and says, "She's fine. She's just mad she has to go to school." Stan said. "Really? It's spring break! There's no school for two weeks." Francine said. Hayley asks, "Can we talk in private, mom?" Taking Hayley by the hand Francine says, "Sure we can." Stan mouths to Hayley not to tell about he told had happened to Judith Barsi and even drops to the floor and begs wringing his hands.
Hayley tells Francine the whole story, then Francine over reacts. "OH NO! THAT ASSHOLE! SON OF A BITCH IS GOING TO PAY!" Stan knew he was in for it when Francine got mad at him. "Oh great! Here comes that shrillish voice she's going to use on me!" Stan fears for himself. Roger walks by him with Steve and Klaus. "Boy are you going to get it now, Stan!" laughs Roger. "You know Frannie is going to scream and yell at you when she starts using that tone that makes her sound like an out of tune opera singer!" "Tee hee hee hee! Daddy's going to get a spanky!" Steve giggled.
"Where are we going?" asked Klaus. "Downstairs to watch Dumbo!" said Steve. "NEIN! I don't want to do this anymore! The deal is off! The deal is off!" protests Klaus. "No deal was ever made, ass!" Roger snarked at the goldfish. Hayley runs into her room crying her eyes out. Francine marches to Stan. Just as he predicted, Francine became to yell at him. "HOW COULD YOU TELL HER ABOUT THAT!" Francine screamed using her shrillish tone that Stan hated so much.
"Tell her what? All I did was read her Goodnight Moon." Stan said in his defense. "NO! That's not what you told her! You really were telling her about what happened to that child star who did the voice of Ducky! We made a promise not to tell her that until she's older and doesn't like Disney movies anymore!" Francine screams.
"Oh come on, she was going to find out sooner or later! Kids need to learn about reality! Whether it truamatizies them or not. She'll get over it someday." Stan said begging and hoping that Francine will forgive him. Francine said, "Don't you remember how long it took for her to recover from seeing that baby seal get killed at her birthday party? You know as well as I do that ever since that day she thinks the world is a terrible place to live." Francine reminds her husband.
"Hayley does watch FOX NEWS with us every night and she doesn't seem to be effected by that." Stan trying to assure his wife. "It's going to take a long time for her to overcome this. If I were you I will try everything in my power to regain her trust." Francine says. "All right. I'll spend the next two weeks of this spring break to get her to trust and love me again." said Stan. "You better! Or else you will lose your daughter and your bond you have with her will be broken FOREVER!" Francine stomped out of the kitchen. Stan stands up and says, "Well, I will regain Hayley's trust in me."
Downstairs in the basement Roger and Steve are about to show Klaus The Baby Mine Song from Dumbo. "Can we watch the part about the Crows instead?" asked Klaus. "Nope Nope Nope!" Roger said shaking his head. "Okay it's there! Pressing play now!" Steve says. The scene was playing in the movie. Klaus tried all he can to suck it in. Even holding his breath. "You're lying to yourself! I can see the tears about to come out!" Roger taunts Klaus. Steve stands there and laughs, "Fishy gonna cry! Fishy gonna cry!" "You sound like a bully, Steve! Doesn't that just pull your heartstrings, Klaus?" Roger said. "NEIN! It had no effect on me whatsoever!" Klaus said.
Klaus muffles, "MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM" Then lets his breath go. "HA! Didn't cry this time!" Klaus stands proudly. "We'll get you next time!" Steve said. "May not be today or tomorrow! But somehow! Some way! We will get him good until he cries blood!!" Roger said. "EEEWW! Don't say that!" whined Steve. Meanwhile, Stan tries everything to make Hayley feel better. Who sees her standing looking at the DVD of The Land Before Time. "Why did you have to die Judith? Why? What did she do that made her father want to kill her?" asked Hayley.
Putting his hand on her shoulder Stan says, "Some fathers are that way. He was from Communist Hungary and he had an old world way of thinking. What I learned was that Jozsef who so jealous of Judith's fame. He thought he was the one who should've been in acting and making the money." Stan informs her. Hayley turns around and screams, "I HATE YOU DADDY! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" "But why? Trying to help fix this damage I caused you." said Stan.
"Is that all you do is tell scary stories?!" shouted Hayley. "Look, Hayley, spring break is two weeks long so how about we spend some father and daughter time together. What do you say? I promise! Not more freaky stories!" Hayley just glares at Stan. "I'll let you pick what we can do together!" Stan said.
"NO! You just want to scare me again..." Hayley tells her father. "But, Hayley!" Stan goes after her. Hayley marches up to her room and sceams, "LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T TALK TO ME!" Hayley goes on her bed and cries on her pillow and does not leave her room for the whole day. That night, Hayley had nightmares that Jozsef Barsi broke into their house and killed the entire Smith family before her eyes the same way he killed Maria and Judith. Hayley woke up and screamed.
Stan and Francine heard her and Francine goes into check on her. Stan tries to join her, "Uh uh uh uh! You stay right where you are, mister!" Francine scolds her husband like a child. Coming into Hayley's room, Francine asks, "Are you okay, honey?" "I had a nightmare!" Hayley said. "About what?" Francine wanted to know. "Judith's father Joszef...." Hayley beings to tell her mother about the frightening dream she had. Stan said to himself, "SHIT! I'll never hear the end of this! Gotta do something soon!"
As Stan was listening in, Francine was consoling her distraught frightened daughter in a way only a mother can. Hayley was telling Francine how much she hated Stan for telling her the unfortunate fate of child actress Judith Barsi. And about her nightmare too. Hayley made her dream sound like Jozsef Barsi was stil among the living. Stan stands up and shouts, "I'M GOING TO GET HAYLEY TO LIKE ME AGAIN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!"
Later the next morning, Hayley was sitting on the family couch. Still feeling awful about her nightmare and hearing about the voice of Ducky. Stan comes downstairs. "Hey, Hayley. Heard you had a bad dream." Stan tells her.
"Go away!" Hayley tried to order her father.
"You know, Jozsef Barsi's been dead for a long time!" Stan said in desperation trying like hell to make Hayley trust him.
"No he's not! He's still alive! Beat it!" Hayley yelled. "He's in hell!" Stan said. Hayley's eyes were wide with terror once more. "HEH-LL? That's a real place?" she asked innocently. Stan has always dragged his family to church and Hayley has heard some tall tales about the afterlife known as Hell.
Stan gets out a DVD, "I know! Let's have another family movie day. In fact let's make it a father/daughter movie day. You know, forget Disney. Let's watch something from Warner Bros. for a change."
Hayley looks at her father than throws her hand as if she was saying, "Forget it."
Not wanting to listen or trust her dad, Stan puts in the DVD.
"We're going to watch Looney Tunes Back in Action! With Brenden Fraser and Jenna Elfman! We all like Bugs Bunny here do we!" Stan said.
Francine rushes to the living room. "What're you trying to pull here, Stan?"
Stan said, "Uhhhh, father/daughter movie day?"
Francine grabs Stan by the ear and drags him into the kitchen. Hayley calls, "YAY! GO MOMMY GO! BEAT UP DADDY FOR ME!" "Trying to scare our daughter half to death?" said Francine in a high pitched tone of voice.
Stan looks down at the floor, "Look, Francine. I want to repair the relationship and the bond I have with Hayley......." "Don't listen to him, Mommy! Jozsef Barsi is still alive and he's going to kill every last one of us!" shouts Hayley from the living room.
"See what you started, Stan Smith! You just brought shit to a piss fight!" Francine yells.
"NO! NO BAD WORDS PLEASE!" Hayley yelled.
"I'm trying to regain her confidence and faith in me." Stan explains. "We're going to watch..."
"Stop it! Hold it right there! I know what you're up to! Are you planning next? To show her scary comics?" Francine growled.
"NO! Gosh you sounds like that bitch mother from that movie The Client. Hayley and I were going to watch......" Stan says but he is cut off.
"Here's some ideas, why not show her the scene about that little girl drowning in Don't Look Now!"
"Francine wait....."
"Or hows about this, after that show Hayley that house explosion at the end of Zabriskie Point!" Francine snarls.
"No No! Nothing of that kind!" Stan says.
Hayley was in the living room nervously listening to her parents have their spat at each other. Tears fall from her face.
"Or better yet! Show her that scene in that Frank Sinatra WW2 flick Von Ryan's Express where the British guy gets killed! You know! That part that you thought was so funny!" Francine sneers childishly in Stan's eyes.
"FRANCINE! PLEASE!"
Why stop there, Stan! While you're at it, show her Christ Stopped at Eboli where they tear apart that goat!"
"GEEZ! Francine are you on some Italian Cinema kick or something?" Stan said.
Hayley runs into the room, "STOP IT STOP IT! STOP IT!"
"See? Hayley is going to be upset with you forever!" said Francine. "Oh no she won't! I'm helping her conquer this fear and before long, me telling her about Judith Barsi will be nothing but water under a bridge!" Stan shouts back at his wife.
Hayley cries, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT DADDY! NOW YOU'RE MAKING MOMMY MAD! JOSZEF BARSI IS COMING FOR US! YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME!" Stan yells back at Hayley, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO KNOW! YOU'RE JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME FOR THIS AS ME!"
Steve, Roger, and Klaus hear the whole thing, "Are Mommy and Daddy going to run away?' asks Steve. "Nah, let's not get involved." said Roger. "Yes, it's not our worry." agrees Klaus. "Exactly, fish. The only thing you need to be worried about is the next scene we are going to show you!" Roger says. "What will it be?" asks Klaus. Roger says in a game show announcer voice almost like Rod Roddy in The Price is Right, "Klaus Heissler! Come on down! You are now going to witness the death of Mufasa from The Lion King!"
"Oh no! Not this shit again!" Klaus said. Taking Klaus downstairs, Steve puts the Lion King DVD inside. "So glad Daddy taught me how to work a DVD player!" said Steve. Roger gets to the part where Mufasa dies. Klaus begins to choke up, then ends up swallowing mucus. "Is that a lump in your throat I heard there, Klaus?" Roger said.
"NEIN! It's a lump in your ass!" Klaus shouts at Roger but wasn't affected by it and laughed instead. "What is it with you grown ups and swears all the time!?" asks Steve. Klaus actually was on the brink of tears, but would never admit it.
*
Stan spends the whole week trying to mend the fences with Hayley. The Cars Drive plays throughout as a musical montage. Stan comes to Hayley with a bike and invites her to go on a bike ride with him. Stan tries to invite Hayley to go jogging with her. Hayley rejects that too. Then Stan tries to take Hayley for some ice cream, which she barely touched. After Stan tries to take Hayley to the beach and then Sugar Mountain. Hayley refused to get out of the car. Stan breaks down and cries.
Then he takes Hayley to McDonalds for a Happy Meal, and Hayley was looking with caution for Joszef Barsi. Stan sank his face into his hands. "What is it going to take?" he wonders. The song ends and switches to another scene. One more week was left of Hayley's and Steve's spring break. On the Saturday night that lead to Sunday morning, Hayley has another nightmare. This time she dreamt that Stan was really Joszef Barsi in disguise and kills her and everyone else in the Smith Family. Even Jack, Stan's father. Then in Hayley's dream, Joszef Barsi dies and is sent to the fiery pits of Hell. Hayley woke up screaming in terror. Stan runs in.
"Another nightmare, sweet-ems?" asks Stan. "Yes, Daddy! It was about you being Joszef Barsi!" Hayley said. Stan conjures up a plan. "I have it! Pack your bags because you and I are going camping in the woods." "NO! Joszef Barsi is out there and he might get me!" Hayley says standing back. "I'm taking you camping to show you there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. Now come on. Just you and me and nobody else! Not even that asshole Joszef Barsi! Who's been dead for a long time." Stan demands. "You promise?" Hayley said. "You damn right." said Stan. Hayley and Stan make preparations to go on their camping trip. Francine sees them going somewhere.
"OKay Stan. What are you doing with Hayley now?" Francine said tapping her foot. "I'm going to take Hayley camping with me to get her to believe in me again." answers Stan. "You can go. But if I hear about any trickery from you......" Francine said. It was too late, Stan had already left with Hayley to go camping in the woods.
In the basement Roger was frustrated that him and Steve still could not make Klaus cry. "Klaus is even tougher egg to crack than I thought." Roger says to Steve. "We still haven't shown him Beauty and the Beast and All Dogs Go To Heaven yet." Steve said. "You're right! We have yet to get him!" Roger said.
Klaus is in the basement and sees Steve and Roger enter. "What movie are you going to make me watch now?" Klaus asks who was tired of Roger and Steve trying to get him to crack.
"The death of the Beast from Beauty and the Beast." said Roger. "After that, All Dogs Go To Heaven where Anne-Marie says Goodbye to Charlie." Steve said.
"Fine! One last time! And I watch to watch both scenes alone!" Klaus demands. Putting in the Beauty and the Beast DVD, and skipping to the scene where The Beast dies, Roger and Steve pretend to leave the basement.
"Go ahead, Klaus! You can go on watch!" Roger says with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Don't talk to me like I'm some monster from a 1950's B movie!" Klaus says offended. "What's a B movie?" asks Steve. "I'll tell you when you're older." Roger tells him. Steve and Roger hide behind the couch and watch Klaus cry uncontrollable at the scene where the Beast meets his death.
"I knew it! Knew we'd get him!" Roger whispers. "He's become a baby!" Steve said a little bit loud. Roger slaps Steve playfully and says, "Quiet! He thinks he left the room." "Oh right." said Steve giving in. Klaus calls out, "Okay I'm done watching this!" Roger comes in takes out the DVD and puts in the DVD to All Dogs Go To Heaven and skips to the scene where Anne-Marie says goodbye to Charlie. Roger once more pretends to leave the room and hides behind the couch with Steve. Both Steve and Roger were snickering.
Bawling like a newborn baby, Klaus cries loudly when he watches Anne-Marie see Charlie descend into heaven. "WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE! THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED TOGETHER!"
Jumping from behind the couch and Steve runs out. They both catch Klaus in the act of crying! "WE GOT YOU! WE GOT YOU! WE KNEW WE'D GET YOU!"
Klaus was shocked as he had ever been, "I thought you both left the room!"
"We were behind the couch the whole time." Steve explains. Roger implies, "We faked leaving the room so we can catch you in the act!"
"So you both tricked me?" Klaus says quivering. "Yes we did!" Steve said. "You were dumbass enough to think we left the room! Brilliant plan won't you say!" Roger said.
Crying once more, Klaus could not believe that Steve and Roger had tricked him into crying. "I hate you both of you! All you ever do is play pranks on me like I'm some moronic dick licking son of a bitch!"
Steve and Roger do a victory dance around Klaus's bowl, "WE GOT YOU TO CRY! WE GOT YOU TO CRY! WE GOT YOU TO CRY! WE GOT YOU TO CRY!"
Klaus vows to get back at Roger and Steve for this one day.
Stan has driven Hayley into the Lake of the Woods. One of the forests in the state of Virginia. "I don't wanna go camping! Not with you anyway!" Hayley told Stan.
"Look, Hayley, I just feel so terrible for scaring you with that Judith Barsi story. So let me make it up to you." begged Stan. "I have to give you a chance?" asked Hayley. "That's exactly what want you to do. If you don't, you'll become one of those radical liberals someday and rebel." said Stan. Hayley decides to give Stan a benefit of the doubt. "Sure, daddy. You deserve another chance." said Hayley. "That's the spirit and what I like to hear. Now remember it's just you and me. Everything we do, you need to have faith and trust in me. It will work out! Got it?" Stan said. "Yes, I got it." answers Hayley.
Getting out of the SUV and setting up camp, Hayley hears a howling in the air. "Daddy! Is that Jozsef Barsi?" Hayley squirmed. "No that's a wolf. During this trip and since you only have a week of your spring break left. Let's make the most of this. No more about the Barsis." said Stan. "You're right, Daddy. It was the worst story I've ever heard." said Hayley. "Me too kiddo." Stan says.
Stan and Hayley were hiking around in the woods. Hayley was behind Stan following her. "Don't you just love the outdoors! Lake Of The Woods is the best forest here in Virginia!" Stan tells her. Hayley begins to hear animals making a bunch of sounds as she tried to stop herself from thinking about Jozsef and Judith Barsi. "No No No. He's dead. He's dead." Hayley thinks to herself. Stan gets annoyed by the animal sounds, "This is supposed to be a peaceful retreat!! Trying to help my daughter overcome a stupid ass fear I installed in her!"
The animal sounds grow louder and louder. Squirrels, chipmunks, owls, raccoons, birds, and even frogs were causing a racket. Freaking out both of them. Until Stan screams, "COOL IT!" The animal noises stop! Hayley laughs. "That worked for the Fonz on an episode of Happy Days! Like to see Tarzan try that is what he said!" Stan says. "What's Happy Days?" asked Hayley.
"A TV Show about life in the 1950s in Wisconsin. We showed you some episodes on TV Land once when you were little." Stan explained. "Hmmm, don't remember." said Hayley. "Francine was pregnant with Steve at the time. It was all we watched. That and Wild Wild West. Fun times." said Stan then him and Hayley were continuing their hiking until they get back to their camping base.
Relaxing after their trial hike, Stan and Hayley are thinking what they should do next. "Want to go fishing, Daddy?" asked Hayley. "Sure! There's a lake up ahead." said Stan. "We have fishing poles do we?" Hayley asks. Going into the tent, Stan gathers some fishing poles and walks Hayley to the lake. As they were fishing, Hayley was worried that something scary will happen.
"I never told you this, but fishing kind of scares me." said Hayley. "Oh really? Why?" Stan implied. "What if we catch a snake and not a fish?" asked Hayley. "You mean like in that movie Funny Farm? No there's no snakes here." said Stan. "How do you know? Maybe there is?" asked Hayley. "Used to come here when I was kid during summer camp. We all fished here and as I recall, none of us accidently caught a snake." Stan tells her.
"Are you sure?" asked Hayley who was unsure. "Absolutely." said Stan. Hayley feels leary when she sees something has grabbed onto her fishing pole. "Dad? I think I might have caught a snake!" Hayley freaks out. "Hayley, this is the whole reason why I brought you here. You need to put your trust onto me that you didn't get a snake and not a fish." said Stan. Hayley pulls up on her fishing rod. "It's a snake! I know it is!" Hayley cries. "Pull it out of the lake! That's it! Tame that son of a bitch!" Stan cheers her on. Hayley pulls up a fish out of the water and is relived that it wasn't a snake like she had feared.
"See? There is so snakes here. Only fish! See what happens when you trust me?" asked Stan. "You're right!" said Hayley. They fished some more and went back to their camping ground tent and sees something moving around. "Daddy! What is that in our tent!" screeched Hayley. Out came a bear that walked away until it spotted them. "A bear!" said Stan. "You told me nothing scary will happen here!" Hayley said. "Trust in me! Trust in me!" Stan said. "Heard in school that you can play dead so the bear doesn't bother you." said Hayley.
Stan and Hayley soon found themselves being stalked by the bear.. "Maybe it's not a bear. Think it might be Jozsef Barsi!" screamed Hayley. "We made a promise not to talk about that while we're here! Now let's think of a plan together to outsmart this bear." "NNNOO!! I WANNA GO HOME!" sobs Hayley. Stan takes her by the hand. "TRUST ME HAYLEY! TRUST ME! I know what to do here!"
*
Stan was standing behind a tree that had a beehive attached full of honey. "Oh Daddy! The bear is going to kill us!" panicks Hayley. "Don't forget I'm CIA! Highly trained to handle things like this!" said Stan. The bear was coming closer to them both. "I don't want to see this bear!" cries Hayley. "We are going to see this bear and outsmart it! Just like Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin in The Edge!" Stan said. Getting the beehive full of honey, Hayley was standing behind Stan. Slowly grabbing the beehive Stan has it behind it's back. "Got it!" Stan says.
"You're not going to kill the bear are you?" asked Hayley. "Nope, like I told you before, trust me!" said Stan. As the bear was coming their way, Stan throws the beehive in the bear's direction. The bear runs to the beehive and carries it back to it's cave. "You did it, Daddy!" said Hayley. "See what happens when you trust me?" said Stan. "And nobody died and it wasn't Jozsef Barsi!" Hayley said. The bear got the beehive and began to eat it then fed it to some of it's bear cubs. "How cute!" Hayley said. Stan walks Hayley back to the camping ground where their tent was. Hayley was overwhelmed with relief. "Feeling better now aren't you?" asked Stan.
"I do! So sorry that I ever said I hated you. Feel so bad for telling you that." Hayley says. "No problem, at least you won back my faith and trust. That's all that matters." Stan said. Hayley tells Stan "How much more longer can we stay here?"
"How about we go back in three days?" suggested Stan. "I like that! Nature is so cool!" said Hayley.
"Guess this means you forgot about ol what's his name....Joszef...." Stan says testing her.
"Joszef? Joszef who?" laughed Hayley.
"That's the spirit! You know when Steve gets older I'll do this with him." Stan says.
Getting out two guitars for both of them to play, Stan says. "Let's sing us a song!"
"Want to know what I got to say about this Daddy? Spending time with you. And helping me overcome my fear?"' asked Hayley.
"What would that be Hayley?" asked Stan. "I love you!" Hayley said. "That's awesome!" Stan replies. "Want to know what else?" asks Hayley. "What's that?" Stan asks.
"Yep Yep Yep! Just like Ducky!" laughed Hayley again.
"That's my girl! Daddy's girl!" Stan cheered clapping this hands. Both Stan and Hayley sang American Pie on their guitars as the day turned into night.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been a Narwhal Puppy Production.
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Daddy's Girl: A Tale of Stan and Hayley
It was family movie night at The Smith House. Hayleys turn to pick the movie. It was very hard to choose a movie since the family watched all of them.
Until Hayley finds a DVD! "Lets watch this one!". That DVD she picked was The Land Before Time. The movie lasted for an hour. Hayley enjoyed it. Stan pretended to be into it. Steve and Roger we're crying there eyes out. As was Francine. When the movie was over, Hayley wondered what became of the cast.
Stan puts Hayley to bed and says, "I will tell you what happened to that girl who did Ducky's voice. Judith Barsi is her name."
Francine warns Stan, "You better not tell her!". Rogers gets a word in edgewise , "Go ahead and say it! Tell Hayley what became of Judith Barsi! She needs to learn reality!". The next day. Stan and Hayley are having breakfast in the kitchen. Roger walks in to join them. "Did you tell her yet"? Asks the alien!
"Not yet but I'm going to! ". Stan yelled defensively. Hayley says, "Come on! I wanna know what happened to Ducky" ! "I will soon! You'll know soon!" promises Stan.
Meanwhile with Steve, who asks Klaus, "Did you see this movie yet?" Klaus answers, "No not any Disney movie for that matter."
Steve tells the goldfish, "Well then. Let's get you started!" Roger runs up to Steve, "Wait up! I want in on this too!" Steve asks Klaus, "Which movie would you like to see first?" Klaus answers, "Let's try Bambi!" "You got it, palsy!" Roger said. Steve and Roger put in the Bambi DVD and show him the scene where Bambi's mother was killed. "So, does that bring any tears to your eyes, Klaus?" Roger pestered at Klaus. "Sad, isn't it? I cried for weeks after I saw that." said Steve.
Klaus denies it while holding back tears, "NOPE! I'm fine! That didn't bother me in the least! I have rhinosaurus skin!" Klaus stood boldly. "Dammit! Son of a bitch!" shouts Roger. "Remember what Mommy and Daddy said about bad words." warned Steve. "There's always tommorow!" Roger vows.
That night, it was Hayley's and Steve's bedtime. Stan walks into Hayley's room to tell her what happened to the voice actress that voiced Ducky. Francine walks up to Stan. "You look like you're on a mission!" said Francine in suspicion. "Mission? You mean to take down terrorists?" asked Stan trying to distract his wife. "You're going to tell Hayley..." as Francine was about to finish her sentence Stan says, "A bedtime story! What's better than Llama Llama Red Pajama!" Francine walks away, "All right. Whatever."
Hayley was in bed and Stan comes into her bedroom. "Daddy! You going to tell me a story?" asked Hayley excitedly. "Indeed I am! What you've been wanting to know." Stan boasted. Hayley claps her hands, "You're going to tell me what happened to...." Stan hushed Hayley, "That's why I'm here! I don't want Francine to know so keep it down." Hayley agrees, "Okay Daddy!" Stan brings in a laptop and types in Wikipedia. "We'll need Wikipedia for this one." informs Stan. "You mean that boring website?" Hayley said. "It's our only source to learn what occurred with Ducky." Stan tells her. "Our school always makes us use that for homework." Hayley says.
"There's no homework here to that needs to be done, Hayley!" Stan said. Typing in, Stan talks, "Judith Barsi......" The results come up in a flash. "Uh, here it is, Judi......" Hayley and Stan both hear an 'a-hem' from Francine. Stan pretends to read 'Goodnight Moon'. "Goodnight moon......" "You better not be scaring her!" Francine walked by Hayley's bedroom. Stan reads the wikipedia entry about the actress that voiced Ducky. "Judith Barsi also starred in, episodes of Remington Steel, Punky Brewster, Cheers, Trapper John...." Hayley says, "YES! YES! What else, daddy!" "Oh, and All Dogs Go To Heaven...."
"Oooh! We should watch that next!" Hayley said. Stan proceeds, "This weekend we will. Now, she starred in, The Fall Guy, Knots Landing. Ick! Soap Operas!" Hayley asks, "What kind of a family did she have?" Stan reads on, "Her father was named Jozsef spelled differently her mother Maria. Both were from Hungary. " "Yes! yes! Has she made any more movies after Land Before Time?" asked Hayley eagerly. Stan responded, "Afraid not. You see, it says here Jozsef killed both her and Maria. By shooting them both then dousing gasoline all over their house and setting it on fire. He killed himself afterward." explains Stan. Hayley was out of her mind with fear after what Stan had told her. "Well, you wanted to know. Now you do. Goodnight sweetheart!" Stan says leaving Hayley's room.
*
The following morning, Francine was making breakfast and Stan joins her. "Hey, beautiful! Lovely weather we're having! Nice day for a CIA mission!" Stan greets his wife. "Morning handsome! The usual? Scrambled eggs and bacon?" asked Francine. "You know it, baby!" Stan flirts with Francine. Steve, Roger, and Klaus join them for breakfast. "Hey, Roger, what Disney movie can we have Klaus watch next to get him to cry?" "Dumbo! The Baby Mine song!" suggests Roger. Klaus tells them both off, "FORGET IT! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO MAKE ME CRY!" Hayley joins them and she looked like she had been crying.
"Sweetie, are you okay?" asks Francine in concern.
"Yeah, I guess." Hayley said. Francine take a better look, "Now come on, Hayley. I can tell when you're upset. Tell mommy everything!" Stan jumps in and says, "She's fine. She's just mad she has to go to school." Stan said. "Really? It's spring break! There's no school for two weeks." Francine said. Hayley asks, "Can we talk in private, mom?" Taking Hayley by the hand Francine says, "Sure we can." Stan mouths to Hayley not to tell about he told had happened to Judith Barsi and even drops to the floor and begs wringing his hands.
Hayley tells Francine the whole story, then Francine over reacts. "OH NO! THAT ASSHOLE! SON OF A BITCH IS GOING TO PAY!" Stan knew he was in for it when Francine got mad at him. "Oh great! Here comes that shrillish voice she's going to use on me!" Stan fears for himself. Roger walks by him with Steve and Klaus. "Boy are you going to get it now, Stan!" laughs Roger. "You know Frannie is going to scream and yell at you when she starts using that tone that makes her sound like an out of tune opera singer!" "Tee hee hee hee! Daddy's going to get a spanky!" Steve giggled.
"Where are we going?" asked Klaus. "Downstairs to watch Dumbo!" said Steve. "NEIN! I don't want to do this anymore! The deal is off! The deal is off!" protests Klaus. "No deal was ever made, ass!" Roger snarked at the goldfish. Hayley runs into her room crying her eyes out. Francine marches to Stan. Just as he predicted, Francine became to yell at him. "HOW COULD YOU TELL HER ABOUT THAT!" Francine screamed using her shrillish tone that Stan hated so much.
"Tell her what? All I did was read her Goodnight Moon." Stan said in his defense. "NO! That's not what you told her! You really were telling her about what happened to that child star who did the voice of Ducky! We made a promise not to tell her that until she's older and doesn't like Disney movies anymore!" Francine screams.
"Oh come on, she was going to find out sooner or later! Kids need to learn about reality! Whether it truamatizies them or not. She'll get over it someday." Stan said begging and hoping that Francine will forgive him. Francine said, "Don't you remember how long it took for her to recover from seeing that baby seal get killed at her birthday party? You know as well as I do that ever since that day she thinks the world is a terrible place to live." Francine reminds her husband.
"Hayley does watch FOX NEWS with us every night and she doesn't seem to be effected by that." Stan trying to assure his wife. "It's going to take a long time for her to overcome this. If I were you I will try everything in my power to regain her trust." Francine says. "All right. I'll spend the next two weeks of this spring break to get her to trust and love me again." said Stan. "You better! Or else you will lose your daughter and your bond you have with her will be broken FOREVER!" Francine stomped out of the kitchen. Stan stands up and says, "Well, I will regain Hayley's trust in me."
Downstairs in the basement Roger and Steve are about to show Klaus The Baby Mine Song from Dumbo. "Can we watch the part about the Crows instead?" asked Klaus. "Nope Nope Nope!" Roger said shaking his head. "Okay it's there! Pressing play now!" Steve says. The scene was playing in the movie. Klaus tried all he can to suck it in. Even holding his breath. "You're lying to yourself! I can see the tears about to come out!" Roger taunts Klaus. Steve stands there and laughs, "Fishy gonna cry! Fishy gonna cry!" "You sound like a bully, Steve! Doesn't that just pull your heartstrings, Klaus?" Roger said. "NEIN! It had no effect on me whatsoever!" Klaus said.
Klaus muffles, "MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM" Then lets his breath go. "HA! Didn't cry this time!" Klaus stands proudly. "We'll get you next time!" Steve said. "May not be today or tomorrow! But somehow! Some way! We will get him good until he cries blood!!" Roger said. "EEEWW! Don't say that!" whined Steve. Meanwhile, Stan tries everything to make Hayley feel better. Who sees her standing looking at the DVD of The Land Before Time. "Why did you have to die Judith? Why? What did she do that made her father want to kill her?" asked Hayley.
Putting his hand on her shoulder Stan says, "Some fathers are that way. He was from Communist Hungary and he had an old world way of thinking. What I learned was that Jozsef who so jealous of Judith's fame. He thought he was the one who should've been in acting and making the money." Stan informs her. Hayley turns around and screams, "I HATE YOU DADDY! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" "But why? Trying to help fix this damage I caused you." said Stan.
"Is that all you do is tell scary stories?!" shouted Hayley. "Look, Hayley, spring break is two weeks long so how about we spend some father and daughter time together. What do you say? I promise! Not more freaky stories!" Hayley just glares at Stan. "I'll let you pick what we can do together!" Stan said.
"NO! You just want to scare me again..." Hayley tells her father. "But, Hayley!" Stan goes after her. Hayley marches up to her room and sceams, "LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T TALK TO ME!" Hayley goes on her bed and cries on her pillow and does not leave her room for the whole day. That night, Hayley had nightmares that Jozsef Barsi broke into their house and killed the entire Smith family before her eyes the same way he killed Maria and Judith. Hayley woke up and screamed.
Stan and Francine heard her and Francine goes into check on her. Stan tries to join her, "Uh uh uh uh! You stay right where you are, mister!" Francine scolds her husband like a child. Coming into Hayley's room, Francine asks, "Are you okay, honey?" "I had a nightmare!" Hayley said. "About what?" Francine wanted to know. "Judith's father Joszef...." Hayley beings to tell her mother about the frightening dream she had. Stan said to himself, "SHIT! I'll never hear the end of this! Gotta do something soon!"
As Stan was listening in, Francine was consoling her distraught frightened daughter in a way only a mother can. Hayley was telling Francine how much she hated Stan for telling her the unfortunate fate of child actress Judith Barsi. And about her nightmare too. Hayley made her dream sound like Jozsef Barsi was stil among the living. Stan stands up and shouts, "I'M GOING TO GET HAYLEY TO LIKE ME AGAIN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!"
Later the next morning, Hayley was sitting on the family couch. Still feeling awful about her nightmare and hearing about the voice of Ducky. Stan comes downstairs. "Hey, Hayley. Heard you had a bad dream." Stan tells her.
"Go away!" Hayley tried to order her father.
"You know, Jozsef Barsi's been dead for a long time!" Stan said in desperation trying like hell to make Hayley trust him.
"No he's not! He's still alive! Beat it!" Hayley yelled. "He's in hell!" Stan said. Hayley's eyes were wide with terror once more. "HEH-LL? That's a real place?" she asked innocently. Stan has always dragged his family to church and Hayley has heard some tall tales about the afterlife known as Hell.
Stan gets out a DVD, "I know! Let's have another family movie day. In fact let's make it a father/daughter movie day. You know, forget Disney. Let's watch something from Warner Bros. for a change."
Hayley looks at her father than throws her hand as if she was saying, "Forget it."
Not wanting to listen or trust her dad, Stan puts in the DVD.
"We're going to watch Looney Tunes Back in Action! With Brenden Fraser and Jenna Elfman! We all like Bugs Bunny here do we!" Stan said.
Francine rushes to the living room. "What're you trying to pull here, Stan?"
Stan said, "Uhhhh, father/daughter movie day?"
Francine grabs Stan by the ear and drags him into the kitchen. Hayley calls, "YAY! GO MOMMY GO! BEAT UP DADDY FOR ME!" "Trying to scare our daughter half to death?" said Francine in a high pitched tone of voice.
Stan looks down at the floor, "Look, Francine. I want to repair the relationship and the bond I have with Hayley......." "Don't listen to him, Mommy! Jozsef Barsi is still alive and he's going to kill every last one of us!" shouts Hayley from the living room.
"See what you started, Stan Smith! You just brought shit to a piss fight!" Francine yells.
"NO! NO BAD WORDS PLEASE!" Hayley yelled.
"I'm trying to regain her confidence and faith in me." Stan explains. "We're going to watch..."
"Stop it! Hold it right there! I know what you're up to! Are you planning next? To show her scary comics?" Francine growled.
"NO! Gosh you sounds like that bitch mother from that movie The Client. Hayley and I were going to watch......" Stan says but he is cut off.
"Here's some ideas, why not show her the scene about that little girl drowning in Don't Look Now!"
"Francine wait....."
"Or hows about this, after that show Hayley that house explosion at the end of Zabriskie Point!" Francine snarls.
"No No! Nothing of that kind!" Stan says.
Hayley was in the living room nervously listening to her parents have their spat at each other. Tears fall from her face.
"Or better yet! Show her that scene in that Frank Sinatra WW2 flick Von Ryan's Express where the British guy gets killed! You know! That part that you thought was so funny!" Francine sneers childishly in Stan's eyes.
"FRANCINE! PLEASE!"
Why stop there, Stan! While you're at it, show her Christ Stopped at Eboli where they tear apart that goat!"
"GEEZ! Francine are you on some Italian Cinema kick or something?" Stan said.
Hayley runs into the room, "STOP IT STOP IT! STOP IT!"
"See? Hayley is going to be upset with you forever!" said Francine. "Oh no she won't! I'm helping her conquer this fear and before long, me telling her about Judith Barsi will be nothing but water under a bridge!" Stan shouts back at his wife.
Hayley cries, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT DADDY! NOW YOU'RE MAKING MOMMY MAD! JOSZEF BARSI IS COMING FOR US! YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME!" Stan yells back at Hayley, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO KNOW! YOU'RE JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME FOR THIS AS ME!"
Steve, Roger, and Klaus hear the whole thing, "Are Mommy and Daddy going to run away?' asks Steve. "Nah, let's not get involved." said Roger. "Yes, it's not our worry." agrees Klaus. "Exactly, fish. The only thing you need to be worried about is the next scene we are going to show you!" Roger says. "What will it be?" asks Klaus. Roger says in a game show announcer voice almost like Rod Roddy in The Price is Right, "Klaus Heissler! Come on down! You are now going to witness the death of Mufasa from The Lion King!"
"Oh no! Not this shit again!" Klaus said. Taking Klaus downstairs, Steve puts the Lion King DVD inside. "So glad Daddy taught me how to work a DVD player!" said Steve. Roger gets to the part where Mufasa dies. Klaus begins to choke up, then ends up swallowing mucus. "Is that a lump in your throat I heard there, Klaus?" Roger said.
"NEIN! It's a lump in your ass!" Klaus shouts at Roger but wasn't affected by it and laughed instead. "What is it with you grown ups and swears all the time!?" asks Steve. Klaus actually was on the brink of tears, but would never admit it.
*
Stan spends the whole week trying to mend the fences with Hayley. The Cars Drive plays throughout as a musical montage. Stan comes to Hayley with a bike and invites her to go on a bike ride with him. Stan tries to invite Hayley to go jogging with her. Hayley rejects that too. Then Stan tries to take Hayley for some ice cream, which she barely touched. After Stan tries to take Hayley to the beach and then Sugar Mountain. Hayley refused to get out of the car. Stan breaks down and cries.
Then he takes Hayley to McDonalds for a Happy Meal, and Hayley was looking with caution for Joszef Barsi. Stan sank his face into his hands. "What is it going to take?" he wonders. The song ends and switches to another scene. One more week was left of Hayley's and Steve's spring break. On the Saturday night that lead to Sunday morning, Hayley has another nightmare. This time she dreamt that Stan was really Joszef Barsi in disguise and kills her and everyone else in the Smith Family. Even Jack, Stan's father. Then in Hayley's dream, Joszef Barsi dies and is sent to the fiery pits of Hell. Hayley woke up screaming in terror. Stan runs in.
"Another nightmare, sweet-ems?" asks Stan. "Yes, Daddy! It was about you being Joszef Barsi!" Hayley said. Stan conjures up a plan. "I have it! Pack your bags because you and I are going camping in the woods." "NO! Joszef Barsi is out there and he might get me!" Hayley says standing back. "I'm taking you camping to show you there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. Now come on. Just you and me and nobody else! Not even that asshole Joszef Barsi! Who's been dead for a long time." Stan demands. "You promise?" Hayley said. "You damn right." said Stan. Hayley and Stan make preparations to go on their camping trip. Francine sees them going somewhere.
"OKay Stan. What are you doing with Hayley now?" Francine said tapping her foot. "I'm going to take Hayley camping with me to get her to believe in me again." answers Stan. "You can go. But if I hear about any trickery from you......" Francine said. It was too late, Stan had already left with Hayley to go camping in the woods.
In the basement Roger was frustrated that him and Steve still could not make Klaus cry. "Klaus is even tougher egg to crack than I thought." Roger says to Steve. "We still haven't shown him Beauty and the Beast and All Dogs Go To Heaven yet." Steve said. "You're right! We have yet to get him!" Roger said.
Klaus is in the basement and sees Steve and Roger enter. "What movie are you going to make me watch now?" Klaus asks who was tired of Roger and Steve trying to get him to crack.
"The death of the Beast from Beauty and the Beast." said Roger. "After that, All Dogs Go To Heaven where Anne-Marie says Goodbye to Charlie." Steve said.
"Fine! One last time! And I watch to watch both scenes alone!" Klaus demands. Putting in the Beauty and the Beast DVD, and skipping to the scene where The Beast dies, Roger and Steve pretend to leave the basement.
"Go ahead, Klaus! You can go on watch!" Roger says with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Don't talk to me like I'm some monster from a 1950's B movie!" Klaus says offended. "What's a B movie?" asks Steve. "I'll tell you when you're older." Roger tells him. Steve and Roger hide behind the couch and watch Klaus cry uncontrollable at the scene where the Beast meets his death.
"I knew it! Knew we'd get him!" Roger whispers. "He's become a baby!" Steve said a little bit loud. Roger slaps Steve playfully and says, "Quiet! He thinks he left the room." "Oh right." said Steve giving in. Klaus calls out, "Okay I'm done watching this!" Roger comes in takes out the DVD and puts in the DVD to All Dogs Go To Heaven and skips to the scene where Anne-Marie says goodbye to Charlie. Roger once more pretends to leave the room and hides behind the couch with Steve. Both Steve and Roger were snickering.
Bawling like a newborn baby, Klaus cries loudly when he watches Anne-Marie see Charlie descend into heaven. "WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE! THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED TOGETHER!"
Jumping from behind the couch and Steve runs out. They both catch Klaus in the act of crying! "WE GOT YOU! WE GOT YOU! WE KNEW WE'D GET YOU!"
Klaus was shocked as he had ever been, "I thought you both left the room!"
"We were behind the couch the whole time." Steve explains. Roger implies, "We faked leaving the room so we can catch you in the act!"
"So you both tricked me?" Klaus says quivering. "Yes we did!" Steve said. "You were dumbass enough to think we left the room! Brilliant plan won't you say!" Roger said.
Crying once more, Klaus could not believe that Steve and Roger had tricked him into crying. "I hate you both of you! All you ever do is play pranks on me like I'm some moronic dick licking son of a bitch!"
Steve and Roger do a victory dance around Klaus's bowl, "WE GOT YOU TO CRY! WE GOT YOU TO CRY! WE GOT YOU TO CRY! WE GOT YOU TO CRY!"
Klaus vows to get back at Roger and Steve for this one day.
Stan has driven Hayley into the Lake of the Woods. One of the forests in the state of Virginia. "I don't wanna go camping! Not with you anyway!" Hayley told Stan.
"Look, Hayley, I just feel so terrible for scaring you with that Judith Barsi story. So let me make it up to you." begged Stan. "I have to give you a chance?" asked Hayley. "That's exactly what want you to do. If you don't, you'll become one of those radical liberals someday and rebel." said Stan. Hayley decides to give Stan a benefit of the doubt. "Sure, daddy. You deserve another chance." said Hayley. "That's the spirit and what I like to hear. Now remember it's just you and me. Everything we do, you need to have faith and trust in me. It will work out! Got it?" Stan said. "Yes, I got it." answers Hayley.
Getting out of the SUV and setting up camp, Hayley hears a howling in the air. "Daddy! Is that Jozsef Barsi?" Hayley squirmed. "No that's a wolf. During this trip and since you only have a week of your spring break left. Let's make the most of this. No more about the Barsis." said Stan. "You're right, Daddy. It was the worst story I've ever heard." said Hayley. "Me too kiddo." Stan says.
Stan and Hayley were hiking around in the woods. Hayley was behind Stan following her. "Don't you just love the outdoors! Lake Of The Woods is the best forest here in Virginia!" Stan tells her. Hayley begins to hear animals making a bunch of sounds as she tried to stop herself from thinking about Jozsef and Judith Barsi. "No No No. He's dead. He's dead." Hayley thinks to herself. Stan gets annoyed by the animal sounds, "This is supposed to be a peaceful retreat!! Trying to help my daughter overcome a stupid ass fear I installed in her!"
The animal sounds grow louder and louder. Squirrels, chipmunks, owls, raccoons, birds, and even frogs were causing a racket. Freaking out both of them. Until Stan screams, "COOL IT!" The animal noises stop! Hayley laughs. "That worked for the Fonz on an episode of Happy Days! Like to see Tarzan try that is what he said!" Stan says. "What's Happy Days?" asked Hayley.
"A TV Show about life in the 1950s in Wisconsin. We showed you some episodes on TV Land once when you were little." Stan explained. "Hmmm, don't remember." said Hayley. "Francine was pregnant with Steve at the time. It was all we watched. That and Wild Wild West. Fun times." said Stan then him and Hayley were continuing their hiking until they get back to their camping base.
Relaxing after their trial hike, Stan and Hayley are thinking what they should do next. "Want to go fishing, Daddy?" asked Hayley. "Sure! There's a lake up ahead." said Stan. "We have fishing poles do we?" Hayley asks. Going into the tent, Stan gathers some fishing poles and walks Hayley to the lake. As they were fishing, Hayley was worried that something scary will happen.
"I never told you this, but fishing kind of scares me." said Hayley. "Oh really? Why?" Stan implied. "What if we catch a snake and not a fish?" asked Hayley. "You mean like in that movie Funny Farm? No there's no snakes here." said Stan. "How do you know? Maybe there is?" asked Hayley. "Used to come here when I was kid during summer camp. We all fished here and as I recall, none of us accidently caught a snake." Stan tells her.
"Are you sure?" asked Hayley who was unsure. "Absolutely." said Stan. Hayley feels leary when she sees something has grabbed onto her fishing pole. "Dad? I think I might have caught a snake!" Hayley freaks out. "Hayley, this is the whole reason why I brought you here. You need to put your trust onto me that you didn't get a snake and not a fish." said Stan. Hayley pulls up on her fishing rod. "It's a snake! I know it is!" Hayley cries. "Pull it out of the lake! That's it! Tame that son of a bitch!" Stan cheers her on. Hayley pulls up a fish out of the water and is relived that it wasn't a snake like she had feared.
"See? There is so snakes here. Only fish! See what happens when you trust me?" asked Stan. "You're right!" said Hayley. They fished some more and went back to their camping ground tent and sees something moving around. "Daddy! What is that in our tent!" screeched Hayley. Out came a bear that walked away until it spotted them. "A bear!" said Stan. "You told me nothing scary will happen here!" Hayley said. "Trust in me! Trust in me!" Stan said. "Heard in school that you can play dead so the bear doesn't bother you." said Hayley.
Stan and Hayley soon found themselves being stalked by the bear.. "Maybe it's not a bear. Think it might be Jozsef Barsi!" screamed Hayley. "We made a promise not to talk about that while we're here! Now let's think of a plan together to outsmart this bear." "NNNOO!! I WANNA GO HOME!" sobs Hayley. Stan takes her by the hand. "TRUST ME HAYLEY! TRUST ME! I know what to do here!"
*
Stan was standing behind a tree that had a beehive attached full of honey. "Oh Daddy! The bear is going to kill us!" panicks Hayley. "Don't forget I'm CIA! Highly trained to handle things like this!" said Stan. The bear was coming closer to them both. "I don't want to see this bear!" cries Hayley. "We are going to see this bear and outsmart it! Just like Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin in The Edge!" Stan said. Getting the beehive full of honey, Hayley was standing behind Stan. Slowly grabbing the beehive Stan has it behind it's back. "Got it!" Stan says.
"You're not going to kill the bear are you?" asked Hayley. "Nope, like I told you before, trust me!" said Stan. As the bear was coming their way, Stan throws the beehive in the bear's direction. The bear runs to the beehive and carries it back to it's cave. "You did it, Daddy!" said Hayley. "See what happens when you trust me?" said Stan. "And nobody died and it wasn't Jozsef Barsi!" Hayley said. The bear got the beehive and began to eat it then fed it to some of it's bear cubs. "How cute!" Hayley said. Stan walks Hayley back to the camping ground where their tent was. Hayley was overwhelmed with relief. "Feeling better now aren't you?" asked Stan.
"I do! So sorry that I ever said I hated you. Feel so bad for telling you that." Hayley says. "No problem, at least you won back my faith and trust. That's all that matters." Stan said. Hayley tells Stan "How much more longer can we stay here?"
"How about we go back in three days?" suggested Stan. "I like that! Nature is so cool!" said Hayley.
"Guess this means you forgot about ol what's his name....Joszef...." Stan says testing her.
"Joszef? Joszef who?" laughed Hayley.
"That's the spirit! You know when Steve gets older I'll do this with him." Stan says.
Getting out two guitars for both of them to play, Stan says. "Let's sing us a song!"
"Want to know what I got to say about this Daddy? Spending time with you. And helping me overcome my fear?"' asked Hayley.
"What would that be Hayley?" asked Stan. "I love you!" Hayley said. "That's awesome!" Stan replies. "Want to know what else?" asks Hayley. "What's that?" Stan asks.
"Yep Yep Yep! Just like Ducky!" laughed Hayley again.
"That's my girl! Daddy's girl!" Stan cheered clapping this hands. Both Stan and Hayley sang American Pie on their guitars as the day turned into night.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been a Narwhal Puppy Production.
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