Categories > Cartoons > American Dad
Because It's The Super Bowl, Dude!
0 reviewsPeter Griffin feels left out when all his friends but him are able to have a Super Bowl Party. Then Peter sees a video from Stan Smith.....
0Unrated
A/N: Before you all tell me the Super Bowl is over for another year. Keep in mind I was writing this before the big major football event. Life got in my way so that's the reason I didn't post it sooner.
Family Guy in Association With American Dad Presents:
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Because It's The Super Bowl, Dude!
"My word is law!" "Because I said so!" Were the words from Lois Griffin's lips to Peter's ears. It was the day before the Super Bowl. All Peter wanted was to have a party. "Everybody else's wives are letting them have a Super Bowl Party!" Peter said sounding like a high schooler wanting to give into peer pressure. "I don't care about anyone else. I only care about you!" Lois shouted.
"Why would you forbid me to have a Super Bowl party?" Peter asked very perplexedly. "Last year," Lois begins. "You had a party and invited college fraternity students from Brown University and you all smoked weed." "That was just one time, Lois!" pleaded Peter. "No, out of the question! Since then the air in our house was filled with marijuana smoke that lasted 6 months! We kept our windows open all the time. Even during the cold months. Poor Stewie probably got a contact high!" Lois tells Peter. "Thanks a lot, bitch! Now I'm the only one on my block who's not allowed to have a Super Bowl Party." "Well, go to one of your friends." suggested Lois.
"I can't," Peter explains, "They all have their families with them and don't want friends over." "Well even if you did go over, you'll just ruin everything like you always do!" said Lois. Peter says, "Quagmire's mother/father Ida is okay with him having a party." The scene changes briefly to see Quagmire and Ida watch the Super Bowl.
"Wow! heh heh! Can't wait for the halftime show with Shakira and Jennifer Lopez!" Quagmire exclaimed. "I'm just here check out some football players asses!" Ida said.
Peter tries once more to get Lois's approval, "Hows about you and I have a Super Bowl party. Just you and me. No stupid kids." "Nice try, Peter! I don't want any part of this any of this Super Bowl shit!" Lois said. "What am I supposed to do now?" asked Peter with puppy dog eyes.
"You'll find something." assures Lois. "What are you going to do on Super Bowl Sunday?" asked Peter curiously. "Bonnie, Donna, and I are going to play bridge. When I come back, I don't want to see any wild party messes or hear that you got into mischief." "Yes, Lois." Peter said feeling defeated. Up in Stewie's bedroom. Brian was dressed as in a Three Musketeers-esque outfit complete with a hat but was red. Stewie follows Brian as he exits his bedroom. "Brian! Are you REALLY going to go out without ME tonight!?" "This is something I gotta do myself, Stewie." Brian says going downstairs. Stewie stays in his bedroom and gets an idea.
Lois was now in the kitchen as Peter remained in the living room. "This sucks! Stupid Lois won't let me have a Super Bowl Party while all my friends get to. I stick out more than Popeye's annoying friend Shorty at his birthday."
Cutaway Scene:
Popeye and Shorty were sitting at a kitchen table with a birthday cake on top. Popeye was looking depressed. Shorty asks, "Why are you so sad, Popeye?" "Olive Oyl ran off with Bluto. Sweet Pea is in daycare......sighs Wimpy is at some hamburger eating contest. I have to celebrate me birthday all alone." Popeye said. "Hey, don't worry! At least you got your old pal Shorty. Let me sing you a song!"
Shorty says climbing onto the top of the birthday cake. Shorty sings to the tune of London Bridge, "Happy Birthday to My Pal! To My Pal! Happy Birth......" A gunshot is heard from behind. Shorty was shot and killed. Popeye sat there and stared in shock. Peter Griffin comes out from under the table. "Sorry Popeye, I just could not stand to hear that friend of yours annoy the hell out of you!"
Brian approached the living room and Peter sees him. "Hi, Brian! Little way too early for Halloween?" Peter teases. "You're one to talk. You dressed like Dracula in May once!" said Brian. Observing Brian's costume, Peter asks, "Who are you supposed to be? Albert The Fifth Musketeer?"
"No," Brian said, "I'm Dogtanian! From the cartoon Dogtanian and The Three Muskethounds." "Bullshit, you're Albert the Fifth Musketeer." giggled Peter. "I'm Dogtanian!" Brian shouted. Feeling like he had to explain what he was up to Brian tells Peter the reason why he's dressed like Dogtanian. "sigh Look, I'm going to this Cosplay party with this chick I'm dating who's into cartoon Cosplay." "Aaauuughhhhh!" Peter roared with frustration, "Everybody gets to go to parties except me!"
Brian could not help but wonder, "Is this about Lois not letting you party on Super Bowl Sunday?" "Yes, Brian. All my friends are having one. But not me." Peter explains. "Say, Peter. A few months ago, didn't you enter your name in Publishers Clearing House?" Brian asks. "Why yes, I did." Peter said. "Why not spend Super Bowl Sunday waiting for Publishers Clearing House to arrive and declare you the winner!" Brian said. "That's an Holy Freaking Sweet idea, Brian!" Peter said now feeling better. Brian was about to head out the door then is stopped by Stewie. "Brian! Brian! Wait for me!" Stewie was dressed as Robby from Paradise PD.
Lois walks in and sees Stewie. "Oooh, there you are my precious sweetie! You look so handsome and cute in your trucker outfit!" Lois then picks up Stewie and kisses him. "Put me down, vile woman!" Stewie demands. Putting Stewie down, Lois says, "All right sugar pop go and have fun."
Brian sees Stewie in his costume. "Who are you supposed to be? Stewie said with pride, "I'm Robby from Paradise PD! He's the cousin to Bobby Possumcods from Brickleberry! Now you have no choice but to take me to your Cosplay party." Brian gives in, "Fine, Stewie you can come!" "Freaking sweet!" Stewie said cheerfully. Brian and Stewie leave for the Cosplay party.
Lois sees Peter looking a little happier. "So, Peter. You're suddenly in a good mood. Where's the fire?" "Hey, Lois! On Super Bowl Sunday, while I'm watching the game will you stay outside for the whole day to see if the Publisher's Clearing House blimp will fly over our house and give me the grand prize?" Peter said. "NO, I will not..." Lois said walking away.
"DAMMIT! There's gotta be some way I can......." Peter gets his laptop, "Oh, trusty internet. You're my only hope now." Trying to log onto the PCH website, Peter comes across a Youtube video about a Super Bowl Party. The person who was in it was Stan Smith of Langley Falls Virginia. "Wonder what this is?" asks Peter.
"Hello out there in internet land. It's Stan Smith from Langley Falls Virginia. My wife and I are hosting a Super Bowl Party. We vow to beat Chuck White this year by having the best epic Super Bowl Party ever! We'll invite anyone willing to come!"
"This could be my chance to go to a Super Bowl Party! But someone needs to stay here to see if PCH will give us our prize...." Peter said.
*
Night time had fallen on Quahog. Having family dinner. Peter was in the kitchen talking to Chris and Meg. "All right, kids. I'm going to a Super Bowl Sunday party in Langley Falls Virginia." explains Peter. Lois said, "That's nice Peter. Knew you would find your way around it. I won't be here either, kids." "Do you want us to clean while you're gone?" asked Chris. "No nothing like that. While I'm away, you both will stand outside the front lawn to see if the PCH Blimp is going to come to our house." Peter said. "You entered in that stupid PCH contest? What makes you think you're going to win?" said Meg trying too hard to be sarcastic.
"Shut up, Meg! Now as I was saying, Chris you can only stand outside for four hours. But Meg, you have to stand outside ALL DAY!" Peter said. "Do I have to?" cries Meg. "Just listen to you father." Lois said.
"Yes you must! Besides, don't you want to meet Steve Harvey?" asked Peter to Meg.
Cutaway Scene:
Steve Harvey is hosting the Mrs. Universe Pageant. Steve Harvey reads the envelope, "The winner of the 2017 Mrs Universe Pageant is.............Miss.....uh...uhh someone help me here.....uhhh... How do you say this? Phillisbeans?" The audience erupts with laughter.
"If it is for money, then yes you should Meg!" Suggests Chris. Brian and Stewie walk into the kitchen coming home from the Cosplay Party without their costumes. "Welcome back, Brian! How did the party go?" asked Peter. "Terrible. Nobody knew who Dogtanian was and they only wanted people to dress as comic book Superheroes." Brian said. "DAMN! I knew I should've dressed as Groot!" Stewie muttered. Peter gets up from the table and asks Brian, "Allow me to quote Jack Dawson from Titanic to you. Do you want to go to a REAL party?"
Brian agrees, "Sure! Anything to get my mind off this girl who dumped me at the party." Peter begins, "You and I are going to Langley Falls Virginia to have Super Bowl party with a CIA Agent named Stan Smith. Are you in?" "Oh, yes! Hope there's beer there too!" Brian said suddenly turning happy and wagging his tail. "I was ignored at that party." Stewie says. Lois says, "Well, I have a bridge game I have to get to. There's no one around to watch Stewie......" Lois remembers. "We'll watch him." Chris offers. "Well, that's great." Lois said.
Super Bowl Sunday was finally here.
Chris and Meg agree to watch Stewie while Lois goes to her bridge game and Peter and Brian go to Langley Falls for Stan Smith's Super Bowl party. As Peter, Brian, and Lois were getting ready to depart to their endeavors. Lois warned Peter, "Now don't come back drunk. Or do any other shit that will make me lose my trust in you."
"All right, Lois! I want to get outta here, Brian!" Peter said driving away on the left as Lois drives away on the right. Meg is in Stewie's bedroom about to tell him a story. "Tonight's story is The Paw Patrol's Itty Bitty Kitty Rescue." Stewie was sleeping and Chris yanks Meg away. "Don't you remember what Dad told us to do?" "What? Sit outside in the cold and wait for some stupid ass blimp that come that probably doesn't even exist?" Meg protested. "Dad says you have to stand outside all day, and I just stand and wait for four hours." Chris tells Meg. Rolling her eyes Meg says, "I'll do it."
On the road to Langley Falls, Peter was driving all excited. "Wow Peter. You get to go to a Super Bowl party. Isn't that cool." Brian tells him. "Very cool! At least I won't have to be the only one on my block that's not allowed to have a party." Peter implies. "Wow. Check us out! A couple of guys going to a football party." Brian says. "This is so Holy Freaking Awesome! I feel just as cool as Kevin Costner in A Perfect World!"
Cutaway Scene:
Peter is driving a car with Stewie on a Texas highway in the front seat with him. Stewie looks at Peter with concern.
"You're not bad, are you Butch? I mean, Dad?" Stewie asked very frightened.
"OOOOOOHHHHHH YEAH!" Peter shouted and cheered as he drove off in high speeds.
"BBBLLLAAAAAASSSSTTTTTT!" Stewie screams as in aerial shot of the highway is shown.
Two hours Peter was driving on the road. "Son of a Bitch! The Super Bowl is going to start at any moment now! We're nowhere near Langley Falls!" Peter shouts. "Uh, Peter. It's only 11 am. The Super Bowl doesn't begin until nighttime." Brian reminds him. "Oh, I stand corrected. If only there was some way to get to Langley Falls quicker!" Peter said impatiently. Brian sees a ferry boat. "You can take that ferry."
"Why did you just call me a 'Fairy'!" Peter spouted with anger. "No, not that kind of fairy. A boat ferry." Brian said calmly. "Oh that's what you meant. hee hee hee! Here I thought you were trying to call me gay!" Peter laughs. Driving up to the boat ferry. Peter makes his way in. Parking their car at the lot. Brian pays the ferry toll. "Where to?" asked the boat Captain. "Langley Falls Virginia!" said Peter.
In Langley Falls, Stan and Roger were making preparations for their Super Bowl Party.
"Refreshments and soda go here, right Stan?" asked Roger. "No I am in charge of the refreshments!" Francine tells him. "Shut up you two! I want everything to be perfect! This time I will beat Chuck White by having the best Super Bowl party on the block!" Stan said feeling determined.
"Did anyone answer your Video yet?" asked Francine. Going to check his computer, Stan says, "Uh, yes. Some dude named Peter Griffin did." "Did he say he was going to come?" asked Francine.
"Don't need him to tell me." said Stan. "This Peter Griffin fellow sounds like a really wonderful man! Can't wait to meet him." Roger said. "How do you know it was Peter Griffin who saw your video?" asked Francine. "When I do videos I use a tracking device. It's a CIA Thing you wouldn't understand." said Stan.
Stan observes the party supplies he has. "Drinks go on the left table......snacks on the right. Perfect!" "How much more longer until the Super Bowl Stanny?" asked Roger. "Five more hours. Hope this Peter Griffin guy doesn't come late." Stan said.
*
Plenty of loud music was heard from across the street from Stan's house. Wanting to see what Chuck White had in store for his party. Roger tells Stan, "Want to go see what the enemy is up to?" asked Roger. "Of course. So I can see what his secret is to always one-upping me every year!" Stan said. Feeling very shocked and awed, although the Super Bowl hasn't even started yet, Stan and Roger gasp in surprise as they see people in their neighborhood lined up for Chuck White's Super Bowl Party.
"Well I'll be a son of a bitch!" Stan said in disgust. A Bose Radio was outside Chuck White's house playing The Gorillaz Demon Days. Chuck White walks onto his lawn. "Why hello there, Stan Smith! Won't you see all these people coming over to my party? ah HA!" Stan fights back, "Yeah, well I have something better so you get ready for me to beat your ass!! You better watch your ass!"
Roger joins in, "Hey, Chuck! Whatever happened to that gymnast daughter of yours? You know, Betsy! The one who got knocked up?!" Chuck shouted back at Stan and Roger, "Oh, really? Where is this SOMETHING BETTER you have. And why can't I see it? ah HA!" "Unlike you, I like to save it until the kick off!" said Stan. "Wish you all the best at trying to have people lined up to come to your sorry ass excuse of a party. ah HA!" Chuck runs back inside after telling off Stan.
Feeling defeated Stan hangs his head. "Oh shit. Might as well give up now." Roger assuring Stan, "Don't you worry! Once this Peter Griffin guy comes here. He'll know what to do!"
On the boat ferry. Peter and Brian have been on for three hours. Both were feeling nauseous. On the verge of vomiting Peter asks Brian. "How much more longer until we get to Langley?"
Brian who too was about to throw up answers, "The captain hack told me in another hour and a half." Holding his stomach and then his head Peter said, "Boy, am I seasick!" "Just hope we don't arrive feeling this like!" Brian said throwing up over the deck. "Or we won't be late and miss the kick off!!" Peter said who then threw up.
"We don't care what team wins. As long as we have......vomits." Peter said. "The half time show, the commercials.......vomits" Brian says. Peter and Brian walk off the deck and try to find a bathroom. "Want to go puke in the men's room. You coming?" said Peter. "Yeah, we don't want the captain mad at us for throwing up over the deck." said Brian. "I feel like sea salted shit!" Peter said.
Peter goes to the men's room and doesn't make it to the toilet and instead vomits in a bucket. Brian stumbles along thinking he found the men's room, and he looks into a window and someone screams, "HEY!" Brian slowly walked away, "Oh, pardon me."
Collapsed on the floor, both Peter and Brian failed to find any relief.
"Sure could use some Rolaids!" Peter said. "This must be how Christian Slater felt after getting off that roller coaster in True Romance." Brian said.
Cutaway Scene:
Christian Slater as Clarence gets off the roller coaster with Patricia Arquette as Alabama. "Boy, that was so much fun, wasn't it!" Alabama cheers. "Yeah it was. Better than Detriot!" slurs Clarence who then skips around a bit until Alabama comes up to him and offers him a hot dog. "Wanna bite of my wiener?" she asked him. Clarence then lets out a huge heave of vomit that flies all over the amusement park.
At the Griffin house, Chris and Meg were standing around waiting for the PCH Blimp to come. "DAMMIT! When is this goddamned blimp going to come!" Chris yelled out. "Don't you understand, you dumbass! There isn't any blimp!" Meg said. "But Dad said it was going to be here. Everything Dad says his true! He's right about everything! Even about the whole Arthur Valentine thing!" Chris says. "If you really think that then you really are a moron!" Meg said. Chris smacks Meg into the ground. "Whoops! My four hours is up! Good luck bitch!" Chris said running back inside. Meg gets up and said, "Geez! Chris is so easily deceived! Just like Keanu Reeves in The Devil's Advocate!"
Cutaway Scene:
Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves were in an fiery office. "Why did you make me kiss that woman who turned out to be my half-sister! WHY!" Keanu Reeves screams at Al Pacino who then says, "BECAUSE I'M SATAN! I LOVE INCEST! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT F*ASS!"
With only the Super Bowl a few hours away, Peter and Brian got off the ferry boat and were now in Langley Falls. "Man, do I feel better from that seasickness!" Peter says. "You said it! Didn't know those Airborne tablets worked for boat rides too!" Brian agrees. Being in Langley Falls, they realize they are lost. "You don't know our way around here, do we?" asked Peter. "There's always some way we can find out where Stan Smith lives. Look in the phonebook!" said Brian. Peter and Brian had some balloons they had bought for the party.
Finding a phone booth, Brian goes inside and looks under S. "Psst, Brian! Psst, Brian, are you looking for Samsonite in that phonebook! You know like in Dumb and Dumber?!" Peter laughs and jokes. "Shut up! Peter! Do you want to go to this party or not?" Brian shouts. Finding what they were searching for, Brian finds Stan Smith's number and address in the phonebook. "AH HA! Here it is, 1024 Cherry Street! I'll call us a cab!" Brian said. "It's 2020 and we still rely on Yellow Pages!" Peter said.
*
The kickoff was just an hour away. Stan was looking out the window with high hopes Peter Griffin will show up. "Come on, Peter Griffin! Get here already!" "Stan, you've been staring out that window. Relax now." Francine said. "NO! I gotta make sure Peter Griffin is coming!" said Stan.
Roger sees a cab coming down the street. "A Taxi Cab! It's coming down our street! Maybe it's Travis Bickle! Did I ever tell anyone my favorite movie is Taxi Driver!" "NO!" Stan and Francine both said to Roger. Stan and Roger run out of the house and greet the Taxi Cab, out came Peter Griffin and Brian.
"So are you this Peter Griffin dude I heard so much about?" asked Roger. "In the flesh, baby!" said Peter. "So awesome of you to come, Peter!" Stan said shaking his hand. "It's good to be here! My stupid bitch wife would not let me have a party. Then I saw your video where you were advertising a Super Bowl Party! So here I am Ro-Man!" cracked up Peter.
Brian said, "I'm here too. Needed to come to this party to help me forget about being dumped by a bimbo who invited me to a party." "Come on in! Come on in!" Roger said.
Peter and Brian were now in Stan Smith's house. "I really really need your help so I'm glad for you to come." Stan told Peter. "You need our help with a party?" asked Brian who really wasn't too familiar with Stan's plan.
"Yes, you see. Every year on Super Bowl Sunday my neighbor Chuck White always has an epic party every year. This time, I want to be the one who has the greatest Super Bowl Party ever." explains Stan. "This is something I'm very good at, Stan. You made an very wise choice." said Peter. "Think you're the wise one here, Peter, just by answering my video." said Stan.
Francine was watching the TV, "Uhhh, Stan. The Super Bowl is beginning! Better get your ass down here!" Stan punches his fist into his hand. "And so it begins!" Peter and Brian were being lead to the Smith family's living room. Peter sees the room full of refreshments and snacks.
Brian sees it too, "Hmmm, you won't win anyone over with only these snacks, Stan." said Brian. "You're right." said Stan. "What you need is a pizza! Maybe 5 of them, tops!" Peter suggests. Stan, Peter, Brian, and Roger were all looking over at Chuck White's party, a pizza was delivered by The Ninja Turtles. "COWABUNGA DUDE!" Chuck thanks them, "Thank you Ninja Turtles! AH HA! Wonder what ol' Smith has for his party!"
Peter grabs his cellphone. "I'll order us some pizzas!" Calling the pizza place, "Yes I'd like 5 large with everything on it!" "Include anchovies, please!" Roger said. "Yes, even anchovies! You'll be here soon, thanks, awesome! bye!" Peter said hanging up his cellphone. A doorbell was heard, and Stan goes to answer it. Behind the front door there were the Samurai Pizza Cats. "Who're you guys? Never seen you before!" asked Stan.
"You don't know them? Why that's the Speedy, Polly, and Guido. The Samurai Pizza Cats! My favorite anime!" Roger said. "You'll love our pizza." said Speedy. "Wanna know why?" asked Polly. "Because we deliver!" said Guido. "Thanks Pizza Cats, you're the best!" Roger waves goodbye to them and pays them as they depart. Brian goes to call a caterer to deliver some sub sandwiches which came shortly afterward. "You'll need these sandwiches, too!" Brian said.
"There," Peter said, "That'll get you some people to come over! Ooh! I forgot! You'll need fireworks, do you have any?" Stan said, "Sure! You're doing great so far, Peter!" Roger hands Peter and Brian the fireworks. "You're not going to try to destroy Chuck White's house with these, are you? Remember what Lois said." Brian implies. "Nope. Never you fear. It's only to get people away from Chuck White's party, I promise!" vows Peter.
The kickoff was underway. After they watched it, Peter and Brian go out and cue the fireworks. Over at Chuck White's party. Some people there heard something that sounded like explosions. The Crowd murmured and left Chuck White's party to go check it out. Everyone at Chuck White's party leaves abruptly. "Hey, come back! AH HA! WE HAVE YET TO SEE THE COMMERCIALS! WHERE YOU ALL GOING!"
All the people were now coming over to Stan Smith's Super Bowl party. On a megaphone Stan calls out to the partygoers, "Anyone tired of always going to Chuck's party! Come to mine, instead!" The party goers were saying how much they were tired of always going to Chuck's parties and want to go to Stan's instead. "YES! YES! YES! It's working! It's working!" Brian said.
Francine tells the party goers, "So glad you can join us! This year the Smith's are going to have the best party ever!" The partygoers see the balloons, sandwiches and the five pizzas, and refreshments all on the tables. Peter comes in with a beer keg. "Who wants some beer! What attracts people more than beer!" "YAY! HOORRAYY!" the partygoers cheer.
"Chuck White never lets us have any alcohol!" "Yeah, he's so moral!"
Not liking what he just encountered, Chuck White swears to get revenge. "I'll get them back here! You may have won this time, Smith......but just be ready! ah HA!" Back on Spooner Street. Chris was inside playing with Stewie. Meg was on the curb of the house still waiting for the PCH Blimp. Chris and Stewie were playing with his toys. "OKay, Rupert is it? He can be the head of the scientology cult!" Chris tells Stewie.
"And all my other plushies can be those asshole celebrities who believe in it!" laughs Stewie. Meg peeks inside, "Can I come inside now. It's really cold and there is no blimp!" "You heard what Dad said! Wait for the blimp!" said Chris. "You can't play! No girls allowed, beat it, bitch!" Stewie shouted. Stewie locks the front door so Meg cannot try to get inside. "There! That takes care of that then!"
An hour later into the Super Bowl, Stan's party was very successful. More and more people from the neighborhood were coming. Francine said, "Come on in! The more the merrier! Wow Stan! You're the hit of the Super Bowl this year!" Shut up, baby! We know it!" Roger said. "Could not have done it without you and Brian, Peter!" "Oh shucks! I sure know my way around a party, don't I!" Peter said.
Disturb's Cover of Land of Confusion plays.
The party was getting too out of hand. People were getting drunk, vomiting, and Stan didn't want it any other way. "This is exactly the kind of Super Bowl I always wanted." said Peter. "You set a goal for yourself and you achieved it!" said Brian. Roger was dancing on a table top, "AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!" Then Roger was breaking wooden chairs. Stan dances with Francine.
Danger will soon come before them, when Chuck White gets a smoke screen bomb and throws it inside the Smith House. "This'll teach that asshole Stan Smith for ruining my fun party, ah HA!" A window breaks and in comes the smoke screen bomb. It lets off a huge pile of smoke that has everybody coughing.
"What the hell!" said Stan. Roger was coughing, "Someone smoke screened us! I used these things when I fought in Vietnam!" Peter and Brian dispose of the smoke screen bomb by throwing it into the sky. "Who's the shithead who did something like this!" said Peter. "It's that neighbor rival of Stan's, Peter. Don't you get it?" Brian tells him.
At the Griffin House, Chris and Stewie were still playing inside with his stuffed animals. Meg was laying on the ground. Feeling very impatient and delusional. "Blimp.....blimp.....please come to us blimp." Meg acted like she was high on drugs. Chris and Stewie took a break from their game to laugh at Meg. "Check out Meg! hahahahaha! We sure got her good, didn't we, Stewie!" Chris cackles. "You darn right we have! Look at her! She's like Dr. Robotnik with severe depression!" Stewie laughs.
Cutaway Scene:
Dr. Robotnik was seen sitting on his chair watching TV. The announcer said, "Coming up next on MTV's Total Request Live. Check out a new rap video by Eminem." The Real Slim Shady begins to play on the television. Dr. Robotnik stares into the TV and looks as if he was going to sob uncontrollably.
"For some reason," Dr. Robotnik said very sadly, "I never liked that son of a bitch!"
*
Deciding to deliver a counterblow to Chuck White, Peter and Brian decide to band together with Stan and Roger to get back at him. Peter begins, "If we want to get back at Chuck White...." Brian finishes Peter's sentence, "We'll do to him what he did to us!" Then the doorbell rang, Stan goes to get it. "Excuse us." Behind the door they see the Belcher Family from Bob's Burgers and Rick and Morty.
"Hey there! We're the Blechers!" said Bob. "We heard you're having a kicking Super Bowl Party!" said Linda. "Mind if we come in!" asked Rick. "We really want to join you!" said Morty. Roger said, "What the hell are they doing here!" "Yeah," agrees Stan! "Who invited them!" Roger told them, "Hey, we only want characters from Family Guy and American Dad to come to our party! Not all of you!" Stan replies, "Damn straight! If you guys came, it'll just be overload! Hey, I heard Eric Cartman from South Park is having a Super Bowl Party! Give him a shot!"
Rick and Morty and the Belchers leave and all go inside Rick's time machine. "Let's go Belchers and Morty. South Park here we come!" Rick says as he Morty, and the entire Belcher family entered Rick's time machine and disappeared. At the Smith's house. The party was still going on. Francine got a large rubber band and tied it between two trees. Coming back inside, Francine said, "The trap is all set, Stan! Go get 'em tiger!" Francine and Stan share a kiss.
"Go hide, Francine!" said Stan. Brian, Peter, Roger, and Stan all stepped outside. "We'll defend this party to the last drop of Meg's blood!" Peter said. Brian plans a strategy as he sees Chuck White on his lawn. "My gas bomb wasn't enough for you! Think you can get the better of me! BRING IT ON, BITCHES! ah HA!"
"This is the way we're going to do this. Brian and I will give you things to throw." said Peter.
*
Meg was standing alone in the cold dark. Waiting on the PCH Blimp that'll never arrive. Jumping in place and screeching, "I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T!" Beginning to make small bird like sounds. Then Meg begins to flap her arms and cluck like a chicken, "Ba-gock! Ba-gock! Ba ba ba! Bo-gock!" Running away into the darkness, Meg continued to flap her arms and cluck.
"BA! BA! BA! BA! BA! GOCK!!! BA GOCK!!!!" Ernie the Chicken hears her and yells out of his bedroom window, "KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! WE NEED TO WORK IN THE MORNING!"
At the Smith House, all the partygoers are watching Stan, Roger, Peter, and Brian get revenge on Chuck White. Some even cheered, "YAY! YAY! GO STAN! GO PETER! GO STAN! GO PETER!"
Peter told Brian, "On the rubber band! Man the ammo!" Brian gives Stan and Roger a rock to launch at Chuck White via the rubber band Francine had tied to the tree. Stan and Roger used the rubber band to fling the rock in Chuck White's direction. The rock landed square on Chuck's head. The Partygoers cheered.
Chuck White wasn't going down, "Is that as good as it's going to get!" "But wait, there's more!" Peter said. Brian finds an oversized pine cone and hands it to Stan and Roger. Putting the pinecone into the rubber band, Stan says to Roger, "A little to the left." "Okay.....now...LAUNCH!" Roger said. Shooting the pinecone it lands on Chuck White's face.
Brian finds a fish. "Ooooh! This'll be holy freaking awesome!" Peter said giving the fish to Stan and Roger who then used the rubber band to fling the fish at Chuck White. The fish lands square on his face. "You're getting me very angry right now, Smith! ah HA!" "Where did that fish come from?" asked Stan. "It's the cartoons, Stan. Anything is possible." Roger tells him.
"We're getting that bastard! We just need the one thing that will make him surrender!" Peter said. Brian holds a skunk, "I got something!"
The partygoers chant, "GO PETER! GO STAN!"
"You won't be rid of me! The only is to give my party back to me! ah HA!" Chuck White shouts at them all.
"Sorry, but these people seem to be on our side!" Peter said flipping Chuck White the middle finger.
"Stan Smith is the best party thrower in Langley Falls! Deal with it!" Roger screamed.
"Bring that skunk, Brian!" Peter demands.
Brian throws the skunk over to Peter who then throws it to Stan and Roger. "Het Hup Het Hup Het Hup!" The four of them said.
The skunk was now in the large rubber band with Stan and Roger pulling it back and then chucked it at his long time rival neighbor! "SPOON!" screams Peter. "What does that mean?" asks Brian. "It's from The Tick." answered Peter. "Heard Joe was a really big fan of The Tick." said Brian. Slowly and surely, the skunk was thrown in Chuck White's direction and then lands on him. The skunk sprays all his stink on Chuck White. "ah HA!" Chuck then pukes and toddles himself back into his house.
The partygoers exploded with cheers as they carry Stan and Peter into the Smith's house. "Let's hear it for Stan Smith!" "Who throws epic parties!" "HIP HIP! HOORAY! HIP HIP! HOORAY!"
Stan roared, "YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! I'M THE MAN! I'M THE MAN!" Roger tells the crowd, "From now on, all parties will be at Stan's house!" "STAN! STAN! HE'S OUR MAN! IF HE CAN'T DO IT! NO ONE CAN!"
"That was so much fun! Even more hilariously cooler than my favorite scene in Needful Things!" said Peter.
Cutaway Scene:
In the rain, Peter was leaning away from his car and kneeling. "NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH!" Brian was steps besides Peter and says, "You are disgusting! I like that in a person!"
"Come back inside, everyone! We have a Super Bowl to watch!" said Stan. All the partygoers then Peter and Brian go back inside to watch the big game. Stan and Francine shared another passionate kiss. "You were wonderful out there, Stan!"
Stan Smith's Super Bowl party lasted until midnight. Before saying their final goodbyes, Stan and Peter shake hands. "Thank you so much for helping me with this party, Peter!" "Thanks for inviting me, Stan! This was a one uber cool crossover! Much better than that one with The Simpsons we did!" Peter tells Stan. The party soon was over and everyone left. Not wanting to take the boat ferry back to Quahog, Stan has Roger fly Peter and Brian back home on the CIA jet.
When Peter and Brian came home, they see Lois pulling up. "Oh no!" said Peter. "Why are you worried? She knew you were going." said Brian. "She might think I caused trouble." said Peter.
Lois walks inside, "Hi, Peter. Did you have a blast at the Super Bowl party?" "Indeed!" said Peter. Brian said, "All right then. Shall we retire? We had enough fun for the night, so anyone ready for bed?"
Peter and Lois notice that something was missing. "Hmmm, wasn't Publishers Clearing House supposed to come to you, Peter?" asked Lois. "Nah, I don't care about that, anymore. They probably gave it to some other loser shmuck!" said Peter.
As it turned out, Jasper, Brian's cousin was the ten million dollar winner of PCH. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON!" Jasper jumped around all flamboyantly. "I don't see Meg around. Where is she? Chris and Stewie are still here." said Brian.
"Don't be racking your brains over unimportant things. I want to go to bed!" said Lois. "Way ahead of you, Lois!" Peter said. "Just to tell you, I did not cause trouble!" Lois giggles, "I believe you Peter."
Lois, Brian, and Peter turned in for the night. Anyway, what did happen to Meg? Some speculate she ended up in New York, became a drug dealer and was arrested by Jake Peralta and Raymond Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine.
Others speculate she hopped a train to Los Angeles and was mistaken for an illegal immigrant prostitute and is now in the custody of Bill Hollister from the new FOX Series Deputy.
Some concluded that Meg got eaten by the Audrey, the man eating plant from Little Shop of Horrors. People even said they spotted her at NASA and her blood was used as rocket fuel for their rockets. One person thinks Meg got sucked into a portal and ended up in the near future were savages made Soylent Green out of her. Soylent Green IS made of people.......
What do you fine folks all think became of her? Think that this is and might as well be......
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
Final thoughts: No offense to South Park, Rick and Morty, and Bob's Burgers fans. The references to those adult cartoons in this fanfiction was NOT meant to be a rip on those shows. Family Guy and American Dad have both referenced lots of adult cartoons over the years.
Family Guy in Association With American Dad Presents:
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Because It's The Super Bowl, Dude!
"My word is law!" "Because I said so!" Were the words from Lois Griffin's lips to Peter's ears. It was the day before the Super Bowl. All Peter wanted was to have a party. "Everybody else's wives are letting them have a Super Bowl Party!" Peter said sounding like a high schooler wanting to give into peer pressure. "I don't care about anyone else. I only care about you!" Lois shouted.
"Why would you forbid me to have a Super Bowl party?" Peter asked very perplexedly. "Last year," Lois begins. "You had a party and invited college fraternity students from Brown University and you all smoked weed." "That was just one time, Lois!" pleaded Peter. "No, out of the question! Since then the air in our house was filled with marijuana smoke that lasted 6 months! We kept our windows open all the time. Even during the cold months. Poor Stewie probably got a contact high!" Lois tells Peter. "Thanks a lot, bitch! Now I'm the only one on my block who's not allowed to have a Super Bowl Party." "Well, go to one of your friends." suggested Lois.
"I can't," Peter explains, "They all have their families with them and don't want friends over." "Well even if you did go over, you'll just ruin everything like you always do!" said Lois. Peter says, "Quagmire's mother/father Ida is okay with him having a party." The scene changes briefly to see Quagmire and Ida watch the Super Bowl.
"Wow! heh heh! Can't wait for the halftime show with Shakira and Jennifer Lopez!" Quagmire exclaimed. "I'm just here check out some football players asses!" Ida said.
Peter tries once more to get Lois's approval, "Hows about you and I have a Super Bowl party. Just you and me. No stupid kids." "Nice try, Peter! I don't want any part of this any of this Super Bowl shit!" Lois said. "What am I supposed to do now?" asked Peter with puppy dog eyes.
"You'll find something." assures Lois. "What are you going to do on Super Bowl Sunday?" asked Peter curiously. "Bonnie, Donna, and I are going to play bridge. When I come back, I don't want to see any wild party messes or hear that you got into mischief." "Yes, Lois." Peter said feeling defeated. Up in Stewie's bedroom. Brian was dressed as in a Three Musketeers-esque outfit complete with a hat but was red. Stewie follows Brian as he exits his bedroom. "Brian! Are you REALLY going to go out without ME tonight!?" "This is something I gotta do myself, Stewie." Brian says going downstairs. Stewie stays in his bedroom and gets an idea.
Lois was now in the kitchen as Peter remained in the living room. "This sucks! Stupid Lois won't let me have a Super Bowl Party while all my friends get to. I stick out more than Popeye's annoying friend Shorty at his birthday."
Cutaway Scene:
Popeye and Shorty were sitting at a kitchen table with a birthday cake on top. Popeye was looking depressed. Shorty asks, "Why are you so sad, Popeye?" "Olive Oyl ran off with Bluto. Sweet Pea is in daycare......sighs Wimpy is at some hamburger eating contest. I have to celebrate me birthday all alone." Popeye said. "Hey, don't worry! At least you got your old pal Shorty. Let me sing you a song!"
Shorty says climbing onto the top of the birthday cake. Shorty sings to the tune of London Bridge, "Happy Birthday to My Pal! To My Pal! Happy Birth......" A gunshot is heard from behind. Shorty was shot and killed. Popeye sat there and stared in shock. Peter Griffin comes out from under the table. "Sorry Popeye, I just could not stand to hear that friend of yours annoy the hell out of you!"
Brian approached the living room and Peter sees him. "Hi, Brian! Little way too early for Halloween?" Peter teases. "You're one to talk. You dressed like Dracula in May once!" said Brian. Observing Brian's costume, Peter asks, "Who are you supposed to be? Albert The Fifth Musketeer?"
"No," Brian said, "I'm Dogtanian! From the cartoon Dogtanian and The Three Muskethounds." "Bullshit, you're Albert the Fifth Musketeer." giggled Peter. "I'm Dogtanian!" Brian shouted. Feeling like he had to explain what he was up to Brian tells Peter the reason why he's dressed like Dogtanian. "sigh Look, I'm going to this Cosplay party with this chick I'm dating who's into cartoon Cosplay." "Aaauuughhhhh!" Peter roared with frustration, "Everybody gets to go to parties except me!"
Brian could not help but wonder, "Is this about Lois not letting you party on Super Bowl Sunday?" "Yes, Brian. All my friends are having one. But not me." Peter explains. "Say, Peter. A few months ago, didn't you enter your name in Publishers Clearing House?" Brian asks. "Why yes, I did." Peter said. "Why not spend Super Bowl Sunday waiting for Publishers Clearing House to arrive and declare you the winner!" Brian said. "That's an Holy Freaking Sweet idea, Brian!" Peter said now feeling better. Brian was about to head out the door then is stopped by Stewie. "Brian! Brian! Wait for me!" Stewie was dressed as Robby from Paradise PD.
Lois walks in and sees Stewie. "Oooh, there you are my precious sweetie! You look so handsome and cute in your trucker outfit!" Lois then picks up Stewie and kisses him. "Put me down, vile woman!" Stewie demands. Putting Stewie down, Lois says, "All right sugar pop go and have fun."
Brian sees Stewie in his costume. "Who are you supposed to be? Stewie said with pride, "I'm Robby from Paradise PD! He's the cousin to Bobby Possumcods from Brickleberry! Now you have no choice but to take me to your Cosplay party." Brian gives in, "Fine, Stewie you can come!" "Freaking sweet!" Stewie said cheerfully. Brian and Stewie leave for the Cosplay party.
Lois sees Peter looking a little happier. "So, Peter. You're suddenly in a good mood. Where's the fire?" "Hey, Lois! On Super Bowl Sunday, while I'm watching the game will you stay outside for the whole day to see if the Publisher's Clearing House blimp will fly over our house and give me the grand prize?" Peter said. "NO, I will not..." Lois said walking away.
"DAMMIT! There's gotta be some way I can......." Peter gets his laptop, "Oh, trusty internet. You're my only hope now." Trying to log onto the PCH website, Peter comes across a Youtube video about a Super Bowl Party. The person who was in it was Stan Smith of Langley Falls Virginia. "Wonder what this is?" asks Peter.
"Hello out there in internet land. It's Stan Smith from Langley Falls Virginia. My wife and I are hosting a Super Bowl Party. We vow to beat Chuck White this year by having the best epic Super Bowl Party ever! We'll invite anyone willing to come!"
"This could be my chance to go to a Super Bowl Party! But someone needs to stay here to see if PCH will give us our prize...." Peter said.
*
Night time had fallen on Quahog. Having family dinner. Peter was in the kitchen talking to Chris and Meg. "All right, kids. I'm going to a Super Bowl Sunday party in Langley Falls Virginia." explains Peter. Lois said, "That's nice Peter. Knew you would find your way around it. I won't be here either, kids." "Do you want us to clean while you're gone?" asked Chris. "No nothing like that. While I'm away, you both will stand outside the front lawn to see if the PCH Blimp is going to come to our house." Peter said. "You entered in that stupid PCH contest? What makes you think you're going to win?" said Meg trying too hard to be sarcastic.
"Shut up, Meg! Now as I was saying, Chris you can only stand outside for four hours. But Meg, you have to stand outside ALL DAY!" Peter said. "Do I have to?" cries Meg. "Just listen to you father." Lois said.
"Yes you must! Besides, don't you want to meet Steve Harvey?" asked Peter to Meg.
Cutaway Scene:
Steve Harvey is hosting the Mrs. Universe Pageant. Steve Harvey reads the envelope, "The winner of the 2017 Mrs Universe Pageant is.............Miss.....uh...uhh someone help me here.....uhhh... How do you say this? Phillisbeans?" The audience erupts with laughter.
"If it is for money, then yes you should Meg!" Suggests Chris. Brian and Stewie walk into the kitchen coming home from the Cosplay Party without their costumes. "Welcome back, Brian! How did the party go?" asked Peter. "Terrible. Nobody knew who Dogtanian was and they only wanted people to dress as comic book Superheroes." Brian said. "DAMN! I knew I should've dressed as Groot!" Stewie muttered. Peter gets up from the table and asks Brian, "Allow me to quote Jack Dawson from Titanic to you. Do you want to go to a REAL party?"
Brian agrees, "Sure! Anything to get my mind off this girl who dumped me at the party." Peter begins, "You and I are going to Langley Falls Virginia to have Super Bowl party with a CIA Agent named Stan Smith. Are you in?" "Oh, yes! Hope there's beer there too!" Brian said suddenly turning happy and wagging his tail. "I was ignored at that party." Stewie says. Lois says, "Well, I have a bridge game I have to get to. There's no one around to watch Stewie......" Lois remembers. "We'll watch him." Chris offers. "Well, that's great." Lois said.
Super Bowl Sunday was finally here.
Chris and Meg agree to watch Stewie while Lois goes to her bridge game and Peter and Brian go to Langley Falls for Stan Smith's Super Bowl party. As Peter, Brian, and Lois were getting ready to depart to their endeavors. Lois warned Peter, "Now don't come back drunk. Or do any other shit that will make me lose my trust in you."
"All right, Lois! I want to get outta here, Brian!" Peter said driving away on the left as Lois drives away on the right. Meg is in Stewie's bedroom about to tell him a story. "Tonight's story is The Paw Patrol's Itty Bitty Kitty Rescue." Stewie was sleeping and Chris yanks Meg away. "Don't you remember what Dad told us to do?" "What? Sit outside in the cold and wait for some stupid ass blimp that come that probably doesn't even exist?" Meg protested. "Dad says you have to stand outside all day, and I just stand and wait for four hours." Chris tells Meg. Rolling her eyes Meg says, "I'll do it."
On the road to Langley Falls, Peter was driving all excited. "Wow Peter. You get to go to a Super Bowl party. Isn't that cool." Brian tells him. "Very cool! At least I won't have to be the only one on my block that's not allowed to have a party." Peter implies. "Wow. Check us out! A couple of guys going to a football party." Brian says. "This is so Holy Freaking Awesome! I feel just as cool as Kevin Costner in A Perfect World!"
Cutaway Scene:
Peter is driving a car with Stewie on a Texas highway in the front seat with him. Stewie looks at Peter with concern.
"You're not bad, are you Butch? I mean, Dad?" Stewie asked very frightened.
"OOOOOOHHHHHH YEAH!" Peter shouted and cheered as he drove off in high speeds.
"BBBLLLAAAAAASSSSTTTTTT!" Stewie screams as in aerial shot of the highway is shown.
Two hours Peter was driving on the road. "Son of a Bitch! The Super Bowl is going to start at any moment now! We're nowhere near Langley Falls!" Peter shouts. "Uh, Peter. It's only 11 am. The Super Bowl doesn't begin until nighttime." Brian reminds him. "Oh, I stand corrected. If only there was some way to get to Langley Falls quicker!" Peter said impatiently. Brian sees a ferry boat. "You can take that ferry."
"Why did you just call me a 'Fairy'!" Peter spouted with anger. "No, not that kind of fairy. A boat ferry." Brian said calmly. "Oh that's what you meant. hee hee hee! Here I thought you were trying to call me gay!" Peter laughs. Driving up to the boat ferry. Peter makes his way in. Parking their car at the lot. Brian pays the ferry toll. "Where to?" asked the boat Captain. "Langley Falls Virginia!" said Peter.
In Langley Falls, Stan and Roger were making preparations for their Super Bowl Party.
"Refreshments and soda go here, right Stan?" asked Roger. "No I am in charge of the refreshments!" Francine tells him. "Shut up you two! I want everything to be perfect! This time I will beat Chuck White by having the best Super Bowl party on the block!" Stan said feeling determined.
"Did anyone answer your Video yet?" asked Francine. Going to check his computer, Stan says, "Uh, yes. Some dude named Peter Griffin did." "Did he say he was going to come?" asked Francine.
"Don't need him to tell me." said Stan. "This Peter Griffin fellow sounds like a really wonderful man! Can't wait to meet him." Roger said. "How do you know it was Peter Griffin who saw your video?" asked Francine. "When I do videos I use a tracking device. It's a CIA Thing you wouldn't understand." said Stan.
Stan observes the party supplies he has. "Drinks go on the left table......snacks on the right. Perfect!" "How much more longer until the Super Bowl Stanny?" asked Roger. "Five more hours. Hope this Peter Griffin guy doesn't come late." Stan said.
*
Plenty of loud music was heard from across the street from Stan's house. Wanting to see what Chuck White had in store for his party. Roger tells Stan, "Want to go see what the enemy is up to?" asked Roger. "Of course. So I can see what his secret is to always one-upping me every year!" Stan said. Feeling very shocked and awed, although the Super Bowl hasn't even started yet, Stan and Roger gasp in surprise as they see people in their neighborhood lined up for Chuck White's Super Bowl Party.
"Well I'll be a son of a bitch!" Stan said in disgust. A Bose Radio was outside Chuck White's house playing The Gorillaz Demon Days. Chuck White walks onto his lawn. "Why hello there, Stan Smith! Won't you see all these people coming over to my party? ah HA!" Stan fights back, "Yeah, well I have something better so you get ready for me to beat your ass!! You better watch your ass!"
Roger joins in, "Hey, Chuck! Whatever happened to that gymnast daughter of yours? You know, Betsy! The one who got knocked up?!" Chuck shouted back at Stan and Roger, "Oh, really? Where is this SOMETHING BETTER you have. And why can't I see it? ah HA!" "Unlike you, I like to save it until the kick off!" said Stan. "Wish you all the best at trying to have people lined up to come to your sorry ass excuse of a party. ah HA!" Chuck runs back inside after telling off Stan.
Feeling defeated Stan hangs his head. "Oh shit. Might as well give up now." Roger assuring Stan, "Don't you worry! Once this Peter Griffin guy comes here. He'll know what to do!"
On the boat ferry. Peter and Brian have been on for three hours. Both were feeling nauseous. On the verge of vomiting Peter asks Brian. "How much more longer until we get to Langley?"
Brian who too was about to throw up answers, "The captain hack told me in another hour and a half." Holding his stomach and then his head Peter said, "Boy, am I seasick!" "Just hope we don't arrive feeling this like!" Brian said throwing up over the deck. "Or we won't be late and miss the kick off!!" Peter said who then threw up.
"We don't care what team wins. As long as we have......vomits." Peter said. "The half time show, the commercials.......vomits" Brian says. Peter and Brian walk off the deck and try to find a bathroom. "Want to go puke in the men's room. You coming?" said Peter. "Yeah, we don't want the captain mad at us for throwing up over the deck." said Brian. "I feel like sea salted shit!" Peter said.
Peter goes to the men's room and doesn't make it to the toilet and instead vomits in a bucket. Brian stumbles along thinking he found the men's room, and he looks into a window and someone screams, "HEY!" Brian slowly walked away, "Oh, pardon me."
Collapsed on the floor, both Peter and Brian failed to find any relief.
"Sure could use some Rolaids!" Peter said. "This must be how Christian Slater felt after getting off that roller coaster in True Romance." Brian said.
Cutaway Scene:
Christian Slater as Clarence gets off the roller coaster with Patricia Arquette as Alabama. "Boy, that was so much fun, wasn't it!" Alabama cheers. "Yeah it was. Better than Detriot!" slurs Clarence who then skips around a bit until Alabama comes up to him and offers him a hot dog. "Wanna bite of my wiener?" she asked him. Clarence then lets out a huge heave of vomit that flies all over the amusement park.
At the Griffin house, Chris and Meg were standing around waiting for the PCH Blimp to come. "DAMMIT! When is this goddamned blimp going to come!" Chris yelled out. "Don't you understand, you dumbass! There isn't any blimp!" Meg said. "But Dad said it was going to be here. Everything Dad says his true! He's right about everything! Even about the whole Arthur Valentine thing!" Chris says. "If you really think that then you really are a moron!" Meg said. Chris smacks Meg into the ground. "Whoops! My four hours is up! Good luck bitch!" Chris said running back inside. Meg gets up and said, "Geez! Chris is so easily deceived! Just like Keanu Reeves in The Devil's Advocate!"
Cutaway Scene:
Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves were in an fiery office. "Why did you make me kiss that woman who turned out to be my half-sister! WHY!" Keanu Reeves screams at Al Pacino who then says, "BECAUSE I'M SATAN! I LOVE INCEST! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT F*ASS!"
With only the Super Bowl a few hours away, Peter and Brian got off the ferry boat and were now in Langley Falls. "Man, do I feel better from that seasickness!" Peter says. "You said it! Didn't know those Airborne tablets worked for boat rides too!" Brian agrees. Being in Langley Falls, they realize they are lost. "You don't know our way around here, do we?" asked Peter. "There's always some way we can find out where Stan Smith lives. Look in the phonebook!" said Brian. Peter and Brian had some balloons they had bought for the party.
Finding a phone booth, Brian goes inside and looks under S. "Psst, Brian! Psst, Brian, are you looking for Samsonite in that phonebook! You know like in Dumb and Dumber?!" Peter laughs and jokes. "Shut up! Peter! Do you want to go to this party or not?" Brian shouts. Finding what they were searching for, Brian finds Stan Smith's number and address in the phonebook. "AH HA! Here it is, 1024 Cherry Street! I'll call us a cab!" Brian said. "It's 2020 and we still rely on Yellow Pages!" Peter said.
*
The kickoff was just an hour away. Stan was looking out the window with high hopes Peter Griffin will show up. "Come on, Peter Griffin! Get here already!" "Stan, you've been staring out that window. Relax now." Francine said. "NO! I gotta make sure Peter Griffin is coming!" said Stan.
Roger sees a cab coming down the street. "A Taxi Cab! It's coming down our street! Maybe it's Travis Bickle! Did I ever tell anyone my favorite movie is Taxi Driver!" "NO!" Stan and Francine both said to Roger. Stan and Roger run out of the house and greet the Taxi Cab, out came Peter Griffin and Brian.
"So are you this Peter Griffin dude I heard so much about?" asked Roger. "In the flesh, baby!" said Peter. "So awesome of you to come, Peter!" Stan said shaking his hand. "It's good to be here! My stupid bitch wife would not let me have a party. Then I saw your video where you were advertising a Super Bowl Party! So here I am Ro-Man!" cracked up Peter.
Brian said, "I'm here too. Needed to come to this party to help me forget about being dumped by a bimbo who invited me to a party." "Come on in! Come on in!" Roger said.
Peter and Brian were now in Stan Smith's house. "I really really need your help so I'm glad for you to come." Stan told Peter. "You need our help with a party?" asked Brian who really wasn't too familiar with Stan's plan.
"Yes, you see. Every year on Super Bowl Sunday my neighbor Chuck White always has an epic party every year. This time, I want to be the one who has the greatest Super Bowl Party ever." explains Stan. "This is something I'm very good at, Stan. You made an very wise choice." said Peter. "Think you're the wise one here, Peter, just by answering my video." said Stan.
Francine was watching the TV, "Uhhh, Stan. The Super Bowl is beginning! Better get your ass down here!" Stan punches his fist into his hand. "And so it begins!" Peter and Brian were being lead to the Smith family's living room. Peter sees the room full of refreshments and snacks.
Brian sees it too, "Hmmm, you won't win anyone over with only these snacks, Stan." said Brian. "You're right." said Stan. "What you need is a pizza! Maybe 5 of them, tops!" Peter suggests. Stan, Peter, Brian, and Roger were all looking over at Chuck White's party, a pizza was delivered by The Ninja Turtles. "COWABUNGA DUDE!" Chuck thanks them, "Thank you Ninja Turtles! AH HA! Wonder what ol' Smith has for his party!"
Peter grabs his cellphone. "I'll order us some pizzas!" Calling the pizza place, "Yes I'd like 5 large with everything on it!" "Include anchovies, please!" Roger said. "Yes, even anchovies! You'll be here soon, thanks, awesome! bye!" Peter said hanging up his cellphone. A doorbell was heard, and Stan goes to answer it. Behind the front door there were the Samurai Pizza Cats. "Who're you guys? Never seen you before!" asked Stan.
"You don't know them? Why that's the Speedy, Polly, and Guido. The Samurai Pizza Cats! My favorite anime!" Roger said. "You'll love our pizza." said Speedy. "Wanna know why?" asked Polly. "Because we deliver!" said Guido. "Thanks Pizza Cats, you're the best!" Roger waves goodbye to them and pays them as they depart. Brian goes to call a caterer to deliver some sub sandwiches which came shortly afterward. "You'll need these sandwiches, too!" Brian said.
"There," Peter said, "That'll get you some people to come over! Ooh! I forgot! You'll need fireworks, do you have any?" Stan said, "Sure! You're doing great so far, Peter!" Roger hands Peter and Brian the fireworks. "You're not going to try to destroy Chuck White's house with these, are you? Remember what Lois said." Brian implies. "Nope. Never you fear. It's only to get people away from Chuck White's party, I promise!" vows Peter.
The kickoff was underway. After they watched it, Peter and Brian go out and cue the fireworks. Over at Chuck White's party. Some people there heard something that sounded like explosions. The Crowd murmured and left Chuck White's party to go check it out. Everyone at Chuck White's party leaves abruptly. "Hey, come back! AH HA! WE HAVE YET TO SEE THE COMMERCIALS! WHERE YOU ALL GOING!"
All the people were now coming over to Stan Smith's Super Bowl party. On a megaphone Stan calls out to the partygoers, "Anyone tired of always going to Chuck's party! Come to mine, instead!" The party goers were saying how much they were tired of always going to Chuck's parties and want to go to Stan's instead. "YES! YES! YES! It's working! It's working!" Brian said.
Francine tells the party goers, "So glad you can join us! This year the Smith's are going to have the best party ever!" The partygoers see the balloons, sandwiches and the five pizzas, and refreshments all on the tables. Peter comes in with a beer keg. "Who wants some beer! What attracts people more than beer!" "YAY! HOORRAYY!" the partygoers cheer.
"Chuck White never lets us have any alcohol!" "Yeah, he's so moral!"
Not liking what he just encountered, Chuck White swears to get revenge. "I'll get them back here! You may have won this time, Smith......but just be ready! ah HA!" Back on Spooner Street. Chris was inside playing with Stewie. Meg was on the curb of the house still waiting for the PCH Blimp. Chris and Stewie were playing with his toys. "OKay, Rupert is it? He can be the head of the scientology cult!" Chris tells Stewie.
"And all my other plushies can be those asshole celebrities who believe in it!" laughs Stewie. Meg peeks inside, "Can I come inside now. It's really cold and there is no blimp!" "You heard what Dad said! Wait for the blimp!" said Chris. "You can't play! No girls allowed, beat it, bitch!" Stewie shouted. Stewie locks the front door so Meg cannot try to get inside. "There! That takes care of that then!"
An hour later into the Super Bowl, Stan's party was very successful. More and more people from the neighborhood were coming. Francine said, "Come on in! The more the merrier! Wow Stan! You're the hit of the Super Bowl this year!" Shut up, baby! We know it!" Roger said. "Could not have done it without you and Brian, Peter!" "Oh shucks! I sure know my way around a party, don't I!" Peter said.
Disturb's Cover of Land of Confusion plays.
The party was getting too out of hand. People were getting drunk, vomiting, and Stan didn't want it any other way. "This is exactly the kind of Super Bowl I always wanted." said Peter. "You set a goal for yourself and you achieved it!" said Brian. Roger was dancing on a table top, "AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!" Then Roger was breaking wooden chairs. Stan dances with Francine.
Danger will soon come before them, when Chuck White gets a smoke screen bomb and throws it inside the Smith House. "This'll teach that asshole Stan Smith for ruining my fun party, ah HA!" A window breaks and in comes the smoke screen bomb. It lets off a huge pile of smoke that has everybody coughing.
"What the hell!" said Stan. Roger was coughing, "Someone smoke screened us! I used these things when I fought in Vietnam!" Peter and Brian dispose of the smoke screen bomb by throwing it into the sky. "Who's the shithead who did something like this!" said Peter. "It's that neighbor rival of Stan's, Peter. Don't you get it?" Brian tells him.
At the Griffin House, Chris and Stewie were still playing inside with his stuffed animals. Meg was laying on the ground. Feeling very impatient and delusional. "Blimp.....blimp.....please come to us blimp." Meg acted like she was high on drugs. Chris and Stewie took a break from their game to laugh at Meg. "Check out Meg! hahahahaha! We sure got her good, didn't we, Stewie!" Chris cackles. "You darn right we have! Look at her! She's like Dr. Robotnik with severe depression!" Stewie laughs.
Cutaway Scene:
Dr. Robotnik was seen sitting on his chair watching TV. The announcer said, "Coming up next on MTV's Total Request Live. Check out a new rap video by Eminem." The Real Slim Shady begins to play on the television. Dr. Robotnik stares into the TV and looks as if he was going to sob uncontrollably.
"For some reason," Dr. Robotnik said very sadly, "I never liked that son of a bitch!"
*
Deciding to deliver a counterblow to Chuck White, Peter and Brian decide to band together with Stan and Roger to get back at him. Peter begins, "If we want to get back at Chuck White...." Brian finishes Peter's sentence, "We'll do to him what he did to us!" Then the doorbell rang, Stan goes to get it. "Excuse us." Behind the door they see the Belcher Family from Bob's Burgers and Rick and Morty.
"Hey there! We're the Blechers!" said Bob. "We heard you're having a kicking Super Bowl Party!" said Linda. "Mind if we come in!" asked Rick. "We really want to join you!" said Morty. Roger said, "What the hell are they doing here!" "Yeah," agrees Stan! "Who invited them!" Roger told them, "Hey, we only want characters from Family Guy and American Dad to come to our party! Not all of you!" Stan replies, "Damn straight! If you guys came, it'll just be overload! Hey, I heard Eric Cartman from South Park is having a Super Bowl Party! Give him a shot!"
Rick and Morty and the Belchers leave and all go inside Rick's time machine. "Let's go Belchers and Morty. South Park here we come!" Rick says as he Morty, and the entire Belcher family entered Rick's time machine and disappeared. At the Smith's house. The party was still going on. Francine got a large rubber band and tied it between two trees. Coming back inside, Francine said, "The trap is all set, Stan! Go get 'em tiger!" Francine and Stan share a kiss.
"Go hide, Francine!" said Stan. Brian, Peter, Roger, and Stan all stepped outside. "We'll defend this party to the last drop of Meg's blood!" Peter said. Brian plans a strategy as he sees Chuck White on his lawn. "My gas bomb wasn't enough for you! Think you can get the better of me! BRING IT ON, BITCHES! ah HA!"
"This is the way we're going to do this. Brian and I will give you things to throw." said Peter.
*
Meg was standing alone in the cold dark. Waiting on the PCH Blimp that'll never arrive. Jumping in place and screeching, "I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T!" Beginning to make small bird like sounds. Then Meg begins to flap her arms and cluck like a chicken, "Ba-gock! Ba-gock! Ba ba ba! Bo-gock!" Running away into the darkness, Meg continued to flap her arms and cluck.
"BA! BA! BA! BA! BA! GOCK!!! BA GOCK!!!!" Ernie the Chicken hears her and yells out of his bedroom window, "KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! WE NEED TO WORK IN THE MORNING!"
At the Smith House, all the partygoers are watching Stan, Roger, Peter, and Brian get revenge on Chuck White. Some even cheered, "YAY! YAY! GO STAN! GO PETER! GO STAN! GO PETER!"
Peter told Brian, "On the rubber band! Man the ammo!" Brian gives Stan and Roger a rock to launch at Chuck White via the rubber band Francine had tied to the tree. Stan and Roger used the rubber band to fling the rock in Chuck White's direction. The rock landed square on Chuck's head. The Partygoers cheered.
Chuck White wasn't going down, "Is that as good as it's going to get!" "But wait, there's more!" Peter said. Brian finds an oversized pine cone and hands it to Stan and Roger. Putting the pinecone into the rubber band, Stan says to Roger, "A little to the left." "Okay.....now...LAUNCH!" Roger said. Shooting the pinecone it lands on Chuck White's face.
Brian finds a fish. "Ooooh! This'll be holy freaking awesome!" Peter said giving the fish to Stan and Roger who then used the rubber band to fling the fish at Chuck White. The fish lands square on his face. "You're getting me very angry right now, Smith! ah HA!" "Where did that fish come from?" asked Stan. "It's the cartoons, Stan. Anything is possible." Roger tells him.
"We're getting that bastard! We just need the one thing that will make him surrender!" Peter said. Brian holds a skunk, "I got something!"
The partygoers chant, "GO PETER! GO STAN!"
"You won't be rid of me! The only is to give my party back to me! ah HA!" Chuck White shouts at them all.
"Sorry, but these people seem to be on our side!" Peter said flipping Chuck White the middle finger.
"Stan Smith is the best party thrower in Langley Falls! Deal with it!" Roger screamed.
"Bring that skunk, Brian!" Peter demands.
Brian throws the skunk over to Peter who then throws it to Stan and Roger. "Het Hup Het Hup Het Hup!" The four of them said.
The skunk was now in the large rubber band with Stan and Roger pulling it back and then chucked it at his long time rival neighbor! "SPOON!" screams Peter. "What does that mean?" asks Brian. "It's from The Tick." answered Peter. "Heard Joe was a really big fan of The Tick." said Brian. Slowly and surely, the skunk was thrown in Chuck White's direction and then lands on him. The skunk sprays all his stink on Chuck White. "ah HA!" Chuck then pukes and toddles himself back into his house.
The partygoers exploded with cheers as they carry Stan and Peter into the Smith's house. "Let's hear it for Stan Smith!" "Who throws epic parties!" "HIP HIP! HOORAY! HIP HIP! HOORAY!"
Stan roared, "YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! I'M THE MAN! I'M THE MAN!" Roger tells the crowd, "From now on, all parties will be at Stan's house!" "STAN! STAN! HE'S OUR MAN! IF HE CAN'T DO IT! NO ONE CAN!"
"That was so much fun! Even more hilariously cooler than my favorite scene in Needful Things!" said Peter.
Cutaway Scene:
In the rain, Peter was leaning away from his car and kneeling. "NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH!" Brian was steps besides Peter and says, "You are disgusting! I like that in a person!"
"Come back inside, everyone! We have a Super Bowl to watch!" said Stan. All the partygoers then Peter and Brian go back inside to watch the big game. Stan and Francine shared another passionate kiss. "You were wonderful out there, Stan!"
Stan Smith's Super Bowl party lasted until midnight. Before saying their final goodbyes, Stan and Peter shake hands. "Thank you so much for helping me with this party, Peter!" "Thanks for inviting me, Stan! This was a one uber cool crossover! Much better than that one with The Simpsons we did!" Peter tells Stan. The party soon was over and everyone left. Not wanting to take the boat ferry back to Quahog, Stan has Roger fly Peter and Brian back home on the CIA jet.
When Peter and Brian came home, they see Lois pulling up. "Oh no!" said Peter. "Why are you worried? She knew you were going." said Brian. "She might think I caused trouble." said Peter.
Lois walks inside, "Hi, Peter. Did you have a blast at the Super Bowl party?" "Indeed!" said Peter. Brian said, "All right then. Shall we retire? We had enough fun for the night, so anyone ready for bed?"
Peter and Lois notice that something was missing. "Hmmm, wasn't Publishers Clearing House supposed to come to you, Peter?" asked Lois. "Nah, I don't care about that, anymore. They probably gave it to some other loser shmuck!" said Peter.
As it turned out, Jasper, Brian's cousin was the ten million dollar winner of PCH. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON!" Jasper jumped around all flamboyantly. "I don't see Meg around. Where is she? Chris and Stewie are still here." said Brian.
"Don't be racking your brains over unimportant things. I want to go to bed!" said Lois. "Way ahead of you, Lois!" Peter said. "Just to tell you, I did not cause trouble!" Lois giggles, "I believe you Peter."
Lois, Brian, and Peter turned in for the night. Anyway, what did happen to Meg? Some speculate she ended up in New York, became a drug dealer and was arrested by Jake Peralta and Raymond Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine.
Others speculate she hopped a train to Los Angeles and was mistaken for an illegal immigrant prostitute and is now in the custody of Bill Hollister from the new FOX Series Deputy.
Some concluded that Meg got eaten by the Audrey, the man eating plant from Little Shop of Horrors. People even said they spotted her at NASA and her blood was used as rocket fuel for their rockets. One person thinks Meg got sucked into a portal and ended up in the near future were savages made Soylent Green out of her. Soylent Green IS made of people.......
What do you fine folks all think became of her? Think that this is and might as well be......
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
Final thoughts: No offense to South Park, Rick and Morty, and Bob's Burgers fans. The references to those adult cartoons in this fanfiction was NOT meant to be a rip on those shows. Family Guy and American Dad have both referenced lots of adult cartoons over the years.
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