Categories > Cartoons > Family Guy
The Invaders. A Peter Griffin Production
0 reviewsA Griffin Family picnic takes a dramatic turn when Peter Griffin encounters some aliens in the forest. The aliens take this to their advantage by cloning Peter.
0Unrated
Family Guy Presents
A Narwhal Puppy Production
The Invaders A Peter Griffin Production
March 23rd. It was a special day for the Griffin family. It was Meg's birthday, however on this day they always made plans to go someplace without her rather than celebrating it. Last year they went to a carinval without Meg. Now it was a picnic in the forest. "We pulled a fast one on Meg, didn't we!" said Peter. "We sure did! Going on this picnic without her!" laughs Lois. "This time we didn't bring a barrell to make it look like Meg!" said Chris. "Maybe the drama queen bitch died for real this time!" joked Brian. "We can only hope that is true!" said Stewie.
As soon as they were finishing up the picnic, Peter sees some lights in the distance. "Wow! Anyone seen those lights out there?" asked Peter. "Nothing to make a big deal out of. "It's probably A Department Store Going Out Of Business Sale." said Lois. "I should go check it out!" said Peter. "You could if you want to. But maybe it's a traffic jam." said Brian. "No way that's either of those things you both just said! Glancing at it some more, it's like something out of the X Files!" said Peter.
Lois heeds Peter a warning, "You can go see what those lights are. We're going home and we're not going to be here when you get back."
"That's no problem for me. I'll just find my own way home!" said Peter. "Yeah, just don't go on any kiddie train rides this time!" said Brian as he, Lois, Stewie, and Chris all went into the car without Peter. "Now's my chance to see what those lights are!" said Peter. Running deeper into the forest, Peter was spot on. Running to where all the lights were, before him was a UFO. "HA! I knew it!" Peter said. Getting a closer look at the UFO Peter observes, "Similar to that one from the movie Earth Girls are Easy!"
Cutaway Scene:
Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans are dressed as aliens on the set of Earth Girls Are Easy. "This is it, Damon! Our chance at stardom with this movie!" said Jim Carrey. "If we don't make it big with this, we'll be obscure and forgotten!" said Damon Wayans. "Don't worry. We still got the 1990s to look forward to!" said Jim Carrey. "Yes, you're right! Why didn't I think of that!" says Damon Wayans. Jim Carrey sees a woman walk by, "Look at the butt on her! Can I say that in this movie?" "Nah, save that line for another movie!" said Damon Wayans.
Walking closer to the UFO, Peter knocks on the it. "Uh, hello! Housekeeping! Butt scratchers!" Then Peter steps away, "Wait! What am I thinking? These aliens probably don't understand out language." Inside the UFO the aliens study Peter. "Perfect! He will do! I'm going to invite him in." said the Head Alien Boss. The aliens looked like light blue insects like a cross between an ant and a roach. Peter is let inside the UFO. "Woah sweet! You know, this UFO is may be the one on the Electrical Light Orchestra album Out of The Blue!" All the other aliens were lined up as if they were in an army.
"Oh my gosh! Aliens really do exist!" said Peter. "Yes we do. Let us tell you our story." said the Head Alien Boss. "Go on." says Peter nonchalantly. "Listen up. We're only going to say this once. We're from a dying planet. So we decided to make our next desintation be the Earth." explains the Head Alien Boss.
"That's cool. Why did you bring me in here for?" asks Peter. "Because we want you to show us the ways of your planet, be our leader if you will!" the Head Alien Boss told him. "That's easy. You're really going to like it here!" Peter said excitedly. "We might. In conclusion, come back here tomorrow where we're going to throw a party for you! In your honor!" said the Head Alien Boss. "You bet! This is so sweet! I'll tell everyone! Can I bring over my friends and family too?" Peter asked. "No you may not. For they will not believe you!" warns the Head Alien Boss.
"Why not? My friends love a good party." The Head Alien Boss shows Peter a crystal ball. "This is what will happen if you tell your friends about our existence."
The crystal ball shows a scene with Peter at the Clam with Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire. In the 'what if' sequence that was being shown on the crystal ball, Peter tells his friends, "You will not believe this! I saw a UFO in the forest! And they're going to throw a special party just for me! Wanna come!" Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire all laugh at him non stop. "Aliens! HA! HA! HA! HA! Did they bring any prostitutes for me to fuck?!" cracked up Quagmire.
"This party you speak of, will the Predator be there?" laughed Cleveland. "Oh Peter. You are FOS. Which stands for Full of Shit!" Joe joined in on the laughter. Peter hangs his head in sorrow. Then the scene in the crystal ball ended. "This is why you cannot tell anyone about our presence here!" said the Head Alien Boss. "Okay." Peter said with his arms crossed in a disgusted manner knowing he can't share this information with anyone.
"We mean it!" Head Alien Boss tells Peter. "Do you have a name?" asks Peter. "Yes our spieces is called Antabuse. My name is Head Alien Boss."
"Oh, okay. Antabuse? You aliens are named after a pill that makes you stop drinking? Lois tried to get me to take that once. Soooo.... Really stoked for this party you have planned for me! What time do you want me to come?" Peter asked.
"Come in exactly 0800 hours sharp." said Head Alien Boss. "Can't really understand military time." Peter tells the alien.
"All right. In 24 hours. At this exact location. We won't be going anywhere. We'll all wait for you until then." informs Head Alien Boss.
"I'll be there, Head Alien Boss! After the party you will make me your leader?" Peter asks.
"Yes we will. No go! Don't come back from 24 hours like we told you! Or else we'll change our mind and find someone else!" the Head Alien Boss walks Peter out of the UFO and was now back outside in the forest. Just what were these aliens intentions? Were the friendly or did these Antabuse Aliens have another game in mind. Feeling happy and ecstatic about the party The Antabuse aliens were going to throw for him, Peter walks home.
"Wow! A party in my honor! I get to be their leader! Maybe it'll be like that In The Flesh scene from Pink Floyd The Wall!" Peter exclaims.
Cutaway Scene:
The Antabuse Aliens were all marching in a hallway until they reached a stadium. One of the aliens picks up and kisses Stewie. "BLAST!" shouts the baby. The Antabuse Aliens all take their places in the audience. There were flags of the letters PG on the ceiling. Out comes Peter Griffin who goes to the center stage and does a salute. All the Antabuse Aliens do the salute as well. Peter goes to a podium and says getting the words and lyrics messed up "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I'd like to begin the show! To feel the warmth bitter confusion makes you neck glow!"
It was now 24 hours later. Lois was getting ready to go to bed. Peter was not. "Peter, come to bed! You got work, tomorrow!" Lois demands. "I gotta go meet the guys at the Drunken Clam first." says Peter. "Fine! Just be back in an hour!" Lois commanded. "Stop nagging! I'll be back with these Stories And More Tonight on 60 Minutes!" giggles Peter. Lois scoffed at Peter as he headed out the door. Getting into his car, Peter drives to the forest and finds the UFO was still in the location.
"Who can go to bed on a night like this! How many people can say aliens are going to throw a party for them!" Peter said trying to enter the UFO, but then was suddenly grabbed by the neck and dragged inside.
Peter was confused as ever. "Hey, you Antabusers! Is this any way you treat someone who's going to show you the Earth?"
"HA! You're an even bigger dumbass moron than we thought!" said the Head Alien Boss. "What is this all about? Why did you grab me by the neck? And most importantly, where's that party I was promised!" Peter shouts.
"We never intended you to be our leader when we landed on Earth. Inasmuch, you were the one who discovered our UFO, we thought you'd be the perfect prisoner!" laughs Head Alien Boss along with all the Antabuse aliens. "WHAT! You mean, this is a kidnapping?" asks Peter. "You bet your fat ass it is!"
The Antabuse aliens lead Peter into a stasis tube. "What's going on! I don't get it!" Peter yells out. Head Alien Boss tells him, "We are going to make a lookalike of you!" "You mean like that movie The Human Duplicators, with Richard Kiel?" Peter asked. "Might as well let you in on our plan. After we make a duplicate of you, your robot lookalike will run around your town commiting acts of mayhem on people and everything else! Then you will be the most wanted man in your hometown. When the time is right, we morph into humans and immurse with your Earth culture to take over the world!" One of the Antabuse aliens presses a button. Peter watches as a robot clone of Peter is being made before his eyes in another stasis tube.
Peter begins to protest. "NO! I refuse to help you with this! GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW! I'd rather be in that prison in Stir Crazy with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder!"
Cutaway Scene:
In a prison cell, Peter is cellmates with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. The three of them were all whooping. "Woah! Shit! Woah Shit! They're trying to kill me!" Peter said. It continues when two guards come to their cell, see the three of them still whooping, and the two guards walk away. One of the guards say, "I think we broke them!"
Head Alien Boss tells him, "Too late! We're already in the process! Once we're done with this town, we'll go to other countries and make more robot doubles of you! By all means, you're going to help us in our conquest of Earth!" All the Antabuse aliens all laughed. The Robot Peter Clone walked out of the UFO and one of the Antabuse aliens throws a laser pistol at him. "Be sure to use this!" "We are going ahead with the game plan! As for you, fatass! You were stupid enough to fall for our trick! Thinking we were friendly and wanted to be an acquaintance! HAHAHAHAH! Now no one can save you now!" Head Alien Boss says.
Peter was stuck and didn't know what to do. "Nobody knows I'm here......." Looking though his pockets, Peter then recalls, "I forgot my cellphone! Son of a bitch!"
*
Walking into the house, the Robot Peter Clone joins Lois in bed. "Peter! So you're back already! You actually listened to me!" Lois says. The Robot Peter Clone was already fast asleep. "Could've at least said Good Night I Love You, but I'll let you go for this time!" Lois said.
The next day, Robot Peter Clone goes over to Quagmire's armed with the laser pistol. Breaking into Quagmire's bedroom, Robot Peter Clone sees Quagmire having sex with a random whore. "PETER! You can join me if you want to! We'll make it a threesome! I won't tell Lois!" Quagmire said inviting Peter.
Robot Peter Clone says, "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" then aims the laser pistol at Quagmire's girlfriend who vaporizes into the air. "DAMN YOU PETER! IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A SICK JOKE!" Quagmire screams and tries to chase after Robot Peter Clone but was too fast for Quagmire.
"What the fuck was that all about with Peter? I feel as confused as Joe Biden when he was in a lair with a mad scientist.
Cutaway Scene:
An evil doctor's lab is shown. Joe Biden is strapped to a table. A wild white haired mad scientist with huge glasses walks causally up to Joe Biden.
"Joe Biden?" the Mad Scientist says.
"Yes?" asks Joe Biden with fear in his voice.
"Give you a............SSSSSHHHHOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!" the Mad Scientist chortles like a maniac about to administer a shot to Joe Biden.
Strapped down and helpless with no means of escape Joe Biden said, "Oh, C'mon Man!"
Robot Peter Clone makes his way to Cleveland's house. Watching outside from his upstairs living room, Cleveland spots Peter, or what he thinks is Peter. "Oh good! Peter's here! Wonder what he wants!" Opening up a window Cleveland announces, "I'll be right down. I gotta go to the bathroom first!"
"HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone says as he picks up Cleveland's house from the ground and shakes his house thus causing Cleveland to fall from the bathroom in the bathtub.
"Awww, fuck no! Not this shit again! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Cleveland yelps falling from his house in the bathtub until he crashes on the ground. "PPPEEETTTTTTEEEERRRRR! When are you going to give up on this gag! It's not funny anymore!"
Joe Swanson was fishing in Quahog Harbor. "Have a day off from being a cop. Bonnie is at her mother's. Finally some alone time!" Joe talks to himself. Robot Peter Clone unsuspectingly sneaks up behind Joe.
Turning around, Joe was shocked when he saw 'Peter'. "Peter! What are you doing here?" Robot Peter Clone just stared at Joe blankly. "I kind of want to be alone." Joe informs 'Peter'. "Still staring at me. At least say something.....sigh fine. You invited yourself to go fishing with me." Joe says throwing a fishing pole at 'Peter.'
Robot Peter Clone used the fishing pole and got a fish. "Wow! That's awesome, Peter. You're a regular Orlando Wilson!" Joe speaks.
Picking up lure with the fishing pole, Robot Peter Clone actually caught a water moccasin. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!"
Joe bawled and trembled. "That's a sn..sn..sn..snake! It's calling fishing, not snaking!" Robot Peter Clone takes the water moccasin and throws it at Joe and the snake wrapped itself around Joe's body. Robot Peter Clone runs away fast and it out of Joe's sight. The crippled policeman was now struggling to free himself from the water moccasin's grip. "What the actual hell, Peter!" Joe screams.
Making his way back to Spooner Street and going into the Griffin House. Robot Peter Clone was then confronted by Meg.
"Why did you ditch me on my birthday yesterday!" Meg rants.
Using the same stare he did with Joe, Robot Peter Clone just glanced at Meg.
"Well! Say something! Every year you all do this to me! The only time you paid attention to my birthday was when you took me to that stupid Teen Choice Awards and I ended up going out with Quagmire. What's your excuse this time!" Meg demanded.
"HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone said to Meg. Then he grabbed Meg and threw her into the wall leaving a Meg shaped hole on the living room wall. Robot Peter Clone walks out of the house looking for more Quahog residents to inflict pain upon.
*
Radiohead's Creep plays thoughtout.
Brian was driving down the street in his Prius. Going to pick up Stewie from daycare when he saw Robot Peter Clone throw cars around while saying, "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" "The hell has gotten into Peter? This is the first I've heard of it." Brian thinks out loud to himself. Carter Pewterschimdt runs up to Peter, "Blowing away the town, huh Peter? Always known Lois deserves better than you!"
"HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone says as he grabs Carter and throws him down a manhole. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS....." Carter yells when he fell into the manhole. Robot Peter Clone runs into the Drunken Clam and sees Jerome. "So Peter, what will it be today?" asks Jerome. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone says who grabs all the alcohol bottles and throws them all on the ground. "What the fuck is this all about, Peter?" Jerome said in a maddening manner. Robot Peter Clone smashes the booths with his fists.
Walking out of the Drunken Clam. Robot Peter Clone then proceeds to rip out fire hydrants, street lights and anything else he can get his hands on. Jumping up and down, thus causing what seemed like an Earthquake. Robot Peter Clone even used the laser pistol the Antabuse aliens had given him. Stewie ran out of the daycare center when he spotted Brian. "Brian! Brian! Do earthquakes come to Rhode Island?" Stewie cries. "I don't think so, Stewie. Either that or Peter is hopped up on testesterone." Brian tells the baby.
Brian and Stewie watch when the Robot Peter Clone runs inside buildings and then throwing people out and beating them up. "BLAST! Why is the Fatman destroying the city? Why can't that be me doing this!" Stewie states angerly. "That's not Peter. Something else is going on. We're the only ones in the family with any common sense. That's why we'll look into it." Brian said putting Stewie into his Prius and driving home.
The song ends. In the UFO, Head Alien Boss was laughing as were all the other Antabuse aliens as they were watching the Robot Peter Clone obliterate Quahog via their crystal ball. Peter was watching too, "THAT'S NOT ME! THAT'S NOT ME! I know I can be an asshat but I'm not THIS bad!" Head Alien Boss heads over to Peter, "No one can rescue you now, Peter! Even if you do get free, you will go to prison for life for you will be blamed for all this!"
"Someone has to find out where I am! And fast!" Peter says. "Oh no. As soon as we are done with this town, we're going to a different country and making another Robot Peter Clone then another! Then another! Soon you will be the Most Wanted Man in the world! You will be our prisoner! FOREVER!" Head Alien Boss told Peter his plan.
"Are you taking me back to your planet when you're done?" asked Peter who was scared. "Yes we will. There's also a food shortage on our planet. We are going make a delicious meal out of you when we go home!" Head Alien Boss said, "Did we mention we eat humans?"
Peter's eyes grew wide. "No! You don't want to eat me! I'll taste like shit!" "From what we hear, humans are yummy!" Head Alien Boss tells Peter. "Hey, wait. I thought you were from a dying planet." Peter says. "Oh that's just some more bullshit we wanted to throw at you to get you over here!" Head Alien Boss said. Sitting back in despair Peter says, "Didn't this happen to Fred Flintstone once? If something doesn't happen soon.
I'll end up on America's Most Wanted! "
Robot Peter Clone goes to the Pawtucket Brewery, Bert and Shiela were at the front enterance. "Peter, you're late!" said Bert. "This is the tenth time this week!" Sheila tells 'Peter'. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone said. Bert and Sheila find themselves getting picked up and their heads were knocked together. Robot Peter Clone sees the Pawtucket Brewery and before he goes into tear it down, he says again, "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Soon after Robot Peter Clone wrecks and smashes the Pawtucket Brewery and a full tidal wave of beer rushes out.
A school bus drives down the street, Robot Peter Clone runs to it and goes to the rear end to pick it up. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!"
Herbert who was driving the bus falls out. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! What's a guy gotta do around here to lure children to come to him!"
Lois was in the kitchen taking a cake out of the oven. Unaware that Peter was supposedly pulvervising Quahog. "Oh boy! Peter is going to love this cake!" Robot Peter Clone runs into the house and sees Lois in the kitchen.
"PETER! Come on in! I knew you were coming so I baked a cake!" said Lois. Robot Peter Clone just stares at Lois. "It's that 'special' cake just for us! You know, with the 'Mary Jane' inside it?" Lois said.
Robot Peter Clone took the cake and threw it on the wall. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Lois screams, then she hears the doorbell. Going to answer the door, it was Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire.
"What are you guys doing here?" asked Lois. "Peter is a Menace to Society! And I ain't talking about the Samuel L Jackson movie!" Cleveland said.
"Why? What did he do? Come to think of it, he did throw a cake at the wall." said Lois, "And he disappears for hours."
"That's why we're here. Peter did some insane shit to us!" said Joe.
"Really like what?" Lois says confused.
"I was getting Giggity with a whore. Peter broke in and shot her with a laser gun that vaporized her!" Quagmire says.
"Yeah, and he tipped my house on the side while I was in the bathtub getting ready to meet him!" Cleveland joins in on the conversation.
"He barged in on my fishing trip and he pulled up a snake and threw it at me! Felt like Chevy Chase in Funny Farm!" Joe says.
Brian and Stewie listen to all of Joe's, Cleveland's, and Quagmire's raving about Peter. Stewie pleaded with Brian, "Do we really have to help Peter?"
"Yes we do. He's important to us. You need a father." said Brian. "All right. I'll go on my computer to see if I can track him." said Stewie who wasn't too happy to try to save Peter. "We did save Meg when she got kidnapped in Paris. You were okay with that. So you owe it to us and your family." Brian tells Stewie.
Chris runs into Stewie's bedroom, "Why is everybody complaining about Dad?" "That's what we're going to find out." said Brian. "Can I help too!" asked Chris. "Sure, the more the merrier." Stewie said rolling his eyes.
Joe tells Lois, "Peter hasn't done anything this psychotic since the time we were in Egypt and he made us do a Mummy Documentary!"
Cutaway Scene:
Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire were in Egypt standing outside a Pyramid.
"Hello, this is Cleveland Brown and with me are my friends Joe and Glenn!"
Quagmire said, "Behind us is an Ancient Pyramid believed to have a Mummy's Curse."
"That's right, anyone who goes inside....." Joe was cut off as he heard Peter's 'hee hee hee hee hee' giggling, coming from behind him.
Peter was in a Mummy Costume and sings, "Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy......"
Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire turn around and see the Mummified Peter. "Uuuuuhhhhhh, roar!" Peter said in a voice of uncertainy.
"RUN!!!!!!!" "IT'S THE MUMMY!" "WE UNLEASED THE CURSE!" Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire all ran away Hanna Barbara style deep into the desert.
Taking off the Mummy Costume Peter laughs, "Suck on that King Tut!" Then another Mummy walks to Peter. "We sure showed them didn't we!" asks the Mummy. Peter turns around and screams and shouts, "FELLAS! WAIT FOR ME!"
*
Stewie on his laptop was able to pinpoint Peter's location. "Peter is in the forest in what appears to be a UFO." observes the baby. Brian then begins to remember, "That's right! When we were at that picnic Peter saw some lights and wanted to see where they lights were coming from." "Let's roll! Come on! We gotta find my Dad!" Chris said. "It could be possible that it really was a UFO!" said Brian. "Precisely. Aliens might've captured the fatman and replaced him with a lookalike!" implies Stewie. "So, that really isn't Dad causing chaos in Quahog?" asks Chris. Brian, Stewie, and Chris all run out of Stewie's bedroom and tell Lois, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire the truth about Peter.
"You guys! We have something to say!" said Brian.
Quagmire rolls his eyes, "Great. This ought to be good. Coming from you, Brian."
Brian tells everybody, "That isn't Peter."
"Why of course it is. Who else would it be! Nobody knows extreme rowdiness better than him." said Joe.
"We had that picnic without Meg two days ago. Dad says he saw some lights that he thought were a UFO. That's what I remember him saying." said Chris.
"Whatchoo talkin' bout, Chris?!" Cleveland says.
Brian tells them, "This may sound farfetched. Hear us out here. Peter may have been kidnapped by aliens and they replaced Peter with a destructive lookalike."
Joe impeeds on Brian's word, "This is a cartoon show. Guess it could be true." Quagmire says, "Stranger things have happened. That could explain why Peter vaporized that whore I was fucking."
Lois collects her thoughts, "This is all starting to make sense. Peter was very curious about those 'lights'."
Chris says, "We're going to the forest and bringing Dad back." Lois said, "Good luck to all of you. I want my Peter back!" Joe tries to meddle, "You may need some backup. I am a cop you know." "Better leave this to us." said Brian as he, Stewie and Chris get into his Prius. Chris tells Joe, "Go arrest some real criminals!" Joe feels dejected that he could not be a backup for Chris, Stewie, and Brian. "It's because I'm crippled isn't it."
Driving into the forest, Robot Peter Clone was still terrorizing Quahog. Even still using the laser pistol. As Stewie sees 'Peter' he takes out a missile shooter, "I never leave home without this!" Stewie shoots the missile shooter at the Robot Peter Clone and it explodes into pieces. Everyone in Quahog cheers. "There's the forest, Brian! Hang in there, Dad! We're coming!" Chris says.
Back at the UFO in the forest, Head Alien Boss saw that Robot Peter Clone was broken. "SHIT! WHO DID THAT! Well no matter. We'll just clone you again!" Head Alien Boss heads over to Peter still encased in the status tube. "You'll never get away with this! My friends will......." Peter tells Head Alien Boss, then Brian, Stewie, and Chris break into the UFO with the help of Stewie's missile launcher.
"Brian! Chris! Stewie! You saved me!" Peter cheers. "Wow, Stewie! You kick ass with that missile shooter!" said Chris. "You ought to see what I do with a Salad Shooter!" Stewie wisecracks. The Antabuse aliens surround Brian, Stewie, and Chris. "Oh son of bitch! Stewie. Prepare to use it again!" Brian told Stewie. Head Alien Boss sees them and says, "So, you're the little heroes who are going to take us out!"
"No, that's not it. We want you to go back to where ever it was you came from and give Peter back to us!" demanded Brian. "Think we'll listen to you? Never!" said the Head Alien Boss. "You better if not, we'll use force!" Stewie warns the Head Alien Boss.
"We won't stop until we have this planet for ourselves! For you see we got your precious Peter because......." The Head Alien Boss was going to finish until they hear a horn sound. Some confetti drops down to the floor of the UFO. The UFO breaks in half, and all the Antabuse Aliens and the Head Alien Boss all take off their costumes and reveal that they were really humans the whole time. Then party whistles are heard. Brian, Peter, Chris, and Stewie were confounded as ever.
"What the fucking duece is going on here!" yelled Stewie.
All the humans were laughing and cracking up. "Does this mean I wasn't kidnapped and you guys aren't aliens?" asks Peter.
"We may have been pranked. Worse than anything Ashton Kutcher ever could do." said Brian.
"That's right! We weren't really aliens!" said one of the humans.
"What silly ass caper is this"! Chris screams angerly.
"No it's not. We're really college students from Georgia Tech!" said another one of the humans.
Peter was relieved, "You got me good. I thought you guys really were aliens!"
Brian asks the college students, "Why did you waste your valuable time doing this stupid ass shit?"
"Glad you asked. You see, we wanted to do HUGE something for Spring Break. Instead of going to Fort Boring-dale Florida. We came here to Quahog Rhode Island so we can lure someone here to think we were aliens, then 'clone' whoever we captured to devestate the town. Anything to get people intruiged so they'll want to watch our show! " explains one of the college students.
"All this just for a Spring Break prank?" asked Brian.
"Not exactly for Spring Break, we wanted to pitch an idea for a Reality Show! So thank you Peter Griffin beause......" a college student says then all the other college students chant, "WE FUCKED YOU GOOD!"
Peter laughs. "Aren't you offended by any of this? They made a asshole out of you!" said Brian.
"We Fucked You Good! That was going to be the name of our show." said one of the college students. "How did you clone me?" asks Peter. "Don't forget, we go to Georgia Tech!"
"Special effects. Ever heard about it?" "It's all filmed on our computers so we're headed over to New York to pitch our idea to a network!"
Peter feels a rage coming within him. Stewie feels discontented, "I was hoping they really were aliens so I could kill them all." "Tommorrow's another day, Stewie." Brian assured him.
Chris asks, "Dad, what's wrong?"
"Hold my beer, Chris! I'm about to kick some ass!" Peter says charging at the Georgia Tech students.
"Now, calm down." "We were just making a prank." "It's was just a joke! It was just a joke!"
Peter runs and jumps in slow motion until it becomes a freeze frame. The scene turns white.
*
At the Griffin House, Peter tells the whole story. "...Then BOOM! Left turn! There were no aliens. They were really Georgia Tech students in disguise." explains Peter.
"Oh, Peter. That's all water under the bridge now. What's really worth it is that we're so happy you're home with us. Then I feel so bad that those cruel college students put you thought all that shit." said Lois.
"Don't fret about it. I put them all in a hospital! If you know what I mean." Peter said.
Chris says, "I told the whole thing to your friends Dad. Of course they said they already knew because it was all over the news."
"I'm glad everything is back to normal." said Brian. "Everyone in Quahog is pitching in to clean up the mess." added Lois.
"Everything always turns out fine in the end!" said Peter. "Those college students are going to prison as soon as they get out of the hospital. Hope they enjoy prison rape!" Stewie said.
Brian notices Meg is gone, "Everything expect for Meg being here. Where is Meg, anyway?"
Lois said, "Oh, she was so mad we ditched her on her birthday so she ran away, moved to Mayberry and joined the police force there."
Cutaway Scene:
At the Mayberry Police Station. Andy Taylor and Barney Fife notice Otis was gone from his cell. "Otis is gone again!" said Barney Fife. "Maybe that new girl we hired knows something about this. Meg get in here!" Andy says.
Meg walks into the Mayberry Police Station. "He told me he had to use the bathroom." she explains.
"SHUT UP MEG!" yells both Andy and Barney. Then both Andy and Barney both took turns farting in Meg's face.
Meg faints on the floor, Andy says, "And that concludes tonight's episode of Family Guy!"
Barney says, "Be sure to tune in next week! In the meantime we gotta find Otis!"
An audience is heard clapping and the Andy Griffith show theme song The Fishing Hole begins to play.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
A Narwhal Puppy Production
The Invaders A Peter Griffin Production
March 23rd. It was a special day for the Griffin family. It was Meg's birthday, however on this day they always made plans to go someplace without her rather than celebrating it. Last year they went to a carinval without Meg. Now it was a picnic in the forest. "We pulled a fast one on Meg, didn't we!" said Peter. "We sure did! Going on this picnic without her!" laughs Lois. "This time we didn't bring a barrell to make it look like Meg!" said Chris. "Maybe the drama queen bitch died for real this time!" joked Brian. "We can only hope that is true!" said Stewie.
As soon as they were finishing up the picnic, Peter sees some lights in the distance. "Wow! Anyone seen those lights out there?" asked Peter. "Nothing to make a big deal out of. "It's probably A Department Store Going Out Of Business Sale." said Lois. "I should go check it out!" said Peter. "You could if you want to. But maybe it's a traffic jam." said Brian. "No way that's either of those things you both just said! Glancing at it some more, it's like something out of the X Files!" said Peter.
Lois heeds Peter a warning, "You can go see what those lights are. We're going home and we're not going to be here when you get back."
"That's no problem for me. I'll just find my own way home!" said Peter. "Yeah, just don't go on any kiddie train rides this time!" said Brian as he, Lois, Stewie, and Chris all went into the car without Peter. "Now's my chance to see what those lights are!" said Peter. Running deeper into the forest, Peter was spot on. Running to where all the lights were, before him was a UFO. "HA! I knew it!" Peter said. Getting a closer look at the UFO Peter observes, "Similar to that one from the movie Earth Girls are Easy!"
Cutaway Scene:
Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans are dressed as aliens on the set of Earth Girls Are Easy. "This is it, Damon! Our chance at stardom with this movie!" said Jim Carrey. "If we don't make it big with this, we'll be obscure and forgotten!" said Damon Wayans. "Don't worry. We still got the 1990s to look forward to!" said Jim Carrey. "Yes, you're right! Why didn't I think of that!" says Damon Wayans. Jim Carrey sees a woman walk by, "Look at the butt on her! Can I say that in this movie?" "Nah, save that line for another movie!" said Damon Wayans.
Walking closer to the UFO, Peter knocks on the it. "Uh, hello! Housekeeping! Butt scratchers!" Then Peter steps away, "Wait! What am I thinking? These aliens probably don't understand out language." Inside the UFO the aliens study Peter. "Perfect! He will do! I'm going to invite him in." said the Head Alien Boss. The aliens looked like light blue insects like a cross between an ant and a roach. Peter is let inside the UFO. "Woah sweet! You know, this UFO is may be the one on the Electrical Light Orchestra album Out of The Blue!" All the other aliens were lined up as if they were in an army.
"Oh my gosh! Aliens really do exist!" said Peter. "Yes we do. Let us tell you our story." said the Head Alien Boss. "Go on." says Peter nonchalantly. "Listen up. We're only going to say this once. We're from a dying planet. So we decided to make our next desintation be the Earth." explains the Head Alien Boss.
"That's cool. Why did you bring me in here for?" asks Peter. "Because we want you to show us the ways of your planet, be our leader if you will!" the Head Alien Boss told him. "That's easy. You're really going to like it here!" Peter said excitedly. "We might. In conclusion, come back here tomorrow where we're going to throw a party for you! In your honor!" said the Head Alien Boss. "You bet! This is so sweet! I'll tell everyone! Can I bring over my friends and family too?" Peter asked. "No you may not. For they will not believe you!" warns the Head Alien Boss.
"Why not? My friends love a good party." The Head Alien Boss shows Peter a crystal ball. "This is what will happen if you tell your friends about our existence."
The crystal ball shows a scene with Peter at the Clam with Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire. In the 'what if' sequence that was being shown on the crystal ball, Peter tells his friends, "You will not believe this! I saw a UFO in the forest! And they're going to throw a special party just for me! Wanna come!" Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire all laugh at him non stop. "Aliens! HA! HA! HA! HA! Did they bring any prostitutes for me to fuck?!" cracked up Quagmire.
"This party you speak of, will the Predator be there?" laughed Cleveland. "Oh Peter. You are FOS. Which stands for Full of Shit!" Joe joined in on the laughter. Peter hangs his head in sorrow. Then the scene in the crystal ball ended. "This is why you cannot tell anyone about our presence here!" said the Head Alien Boss. "Okay." Peter said with his arms crossed in a disgusted manner knowing he can't share this information with anyone.
"We mean it!" Head Alien Boss tells Peter. "Do you have a name?" asks Peter. "Yes our spieces is called Antabuse. My name is Head Alien Boss."
"Oh, okay. Antabuse? You aliens are named after a pill that makes you stop drinking? Lois tried to get me to take that once. Soooo.... Really stoked for this party you have planned for me! What time do you want me to come?" Peter asked.
"Come in exactly 0800 hours sharp." said Head Alien Boss. "Can't really understand military time." Peter tells the alien.
"All right. In 24 hours. At this exact location. We won't be going anywhere. We'll all wait for you until then." informs Head Alien Boss.
"I'll be there, Head Alien Boss! After the party you will make me your leader?" Peter asks.
"Yes we will. No go! Don't come back from 24 hours like we told you! Or else we'll change our mind and find someone else!" the Head Alien Boss walks Peter out of the UFO and was now back outside in the forest. Just what were these aliens intentions? Were the friendly or did these Antabuse Aliens have another game in mind. Feeling happy and ecstatic about the party The Antabuse aliens were going to throw for him, Peter walks home.
"Wow! A party in my honor! I get to be their leader! Maybe it'll be like that In The Flesh scene from Pink Floyd The Wall!" Peter exclaims.
Cutaway Scene:
The Antabuse Aliens were all marching in a hallway until they reached a stadium. One of the aliens picks up and kisses Stewie. "BLAST!" shouts the baby. The Antabuse Aliens all take their places in the audience. There were flags of the letters PG on the ceiling. Out comes Peter Griffin who goes to the center stage and does a salute. All the Antabuse Aliens do the salute as well. Peter goes to a podium and says getting the words and lyrics messed up "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I'd like to begin the show! To feel the warmth bitter confusion makes you neck glow!"
It was now 24 hours later. Lois was getting ready to go to bed. Peter was not. "Peter, come to bed! You got work, tomorrow!" Lois demands. "I gotta go meet the guys at the Drunken Clam first." says Peter. "Fine! Just be back in an hour!" Lois commanded. "Stop nagging! I'll be back with these Stories And More Tonight on 60 Minutes!" giggles Peter. Lois scoffed at Peter as he headed out the door. Getting into his car, Peter drives to the forest and finds the UFO was still in the location.
"Who can go to bed on a night like this! How many people can say aliens are going to throw a party for them!" Peter said trying to enter the UFO, but then was suddenly grabbed by the neck and dragged inside.
Peter was confused as ever. "Hey, you Antabusers! Is this any way you treat someone who's going to show you the Earth?"
"HA! You're an even bigger dumbass moron than we thought!" said the Head Alien Boss. "What is this all about? Why did you grab me by the neck? And most importantly, where's that party I was promised!" Peter shouts.
"We never intended you to be our leader when we landed on Earth. Inasmuch, you were the one who discovered our UFO, we thought you'd be the perfect prisoner!" laughs Head Alien Boss along with all the Antabuse aliens. "WHAT! You mean, this is a kidnapping?" asks Peter. "You bet your fat ass it is!"
The Antabuse aliens lead Peter into a stasis tube. "What's going on! I don't get it!" Peter yells out. Head Alien Boss tells him, "We are going to make a lookalike of you!" "You mean like that movie The Human Duplicators, with Richard Kiel?" Peter asked. "Might as well let you in on our plan. After we make a duplicate of you, your robot lookalike will run around your town commiting acts of mayhem on people and everything else! Then you will be the most wanted man in your hometown. When the time is right, we morph into humans and immurse with your Earth culture to take over the world!" One of the Antabuse aliens presses a button. Peter watches as a robot clone of Peter is being made before his eyes in another stasis tube.
Peter begins to protest. "NO! I refuse to help you with this! GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW! I'd rather be in that prison in Stir Crazy with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder!"
Cutaway Scene:
In a prison cell, Peter is cellmates with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. The three of them were all whooping. "Woah! Shit! Woah Shit! They're trying to kill me!" Peter said. It continues when two guards come to their cell, see the three of them still whooping, and the two guards walk away. One of the guards say, "I think we broke them!"
Head Alien Boss tells him, "Too late! We're already in the process! Once we're done with this town, we'll go to other countries and make more robot doubles of you! By all means, you're going to help us in our conquest of Earth!" All the Antabuse aliens all laughed. The Robot Peter Clone walked out of the UFO and one of the Antabuse aliens throws a laser pistol at him. "Be sure to use this!" "We are going ahead with the game plan! As for you, fatass! You were stupid enough to fall for our trick! Thinking we were friendly and wanted to be an acquaintance! HAHAHAHAH! Now no one can save you now!" Head Alien Boss says.
Peter was stuck and didn't know what to do. "Nobody knows I'm here......." Looking though his pockets, Peter then recalls, "I forgot my cellphone! Son of a bitch!"
*
Walking into the house, the Robot Peter Clone joins Lois in bed. "Peter! So you're back already! You actually listened to me!" Lois says. The Robot Peter Clone was already fast asleep. "Could've at least said Good Night I Love You, but I'll let you go for this time!" Lois said.
The next day, Robot Peter Clone goes over to Quagmire's armed with the laser pistol. Breaking into Quagmire's bedroom, Robot Peter Clone sees Quagmire having sex with a random whore. "PETER! You can join me if you want to! We'll make it a threesome! I won't tell Lois!" Quagmire said inviting Peter.
Robot Peter Clone says, "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" then aims the laser pistol at Quagmire's girlfriend who vaporizes into the air. "DAMN YOU PETER! IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A SICK JOKE!" Quagmire screams and tries to chase after Robot Peter Clone but was too fast for Quagmire.
"What the fuck was that all about with Peter? I feel as confused as Joe Biden when he was in a lair with a mad scientist.
Cutaway Scene:
An evil doctor's lab is shown. Joe Biden is strapped to a table. A wild white haired mad scientist with huge glasses walks causally up to Joe Biden.
"Joe Biden?" the Mad Scientist says.
"Yes?" asks Joe Biden with fear in his voice.
"Give you a............SSSSSHHHHOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!" the Mad Scientist chortles like a maniac about to administer a shot to Joe Biden.
Strapped down and helpless with no means of escape Joe Biden said, "Oh, C'mon Man!"
Robot Peter Clone makes his way to Cleveland's house. Watching outside from his upstairs living room, Cleveland spots Peter, or what he thinks is Peter. "Oh good! Peter's here! Wonder what he wants!" Opening up a window Cleveland announces, "I'll be right down. I gotta go to the bathroom first!"
"HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone says as he picks up Cleveland's house from the ground and shakes his house thus causing Cleveland to fall from the bathroom in the bathtub.
"Awww, fuck no! Not this shit again! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Cleveland yelps falling from his house in the bathtub until he crashes on the ground. "PPPEEETTTTTTEEEERRRRR! When are you going to give up on this gag! It's not funny anymore!"
Joe Swanson was fishing in Quahog Harbor. "Have a day off from being a cop. Bonnie is at her mother's. Finally some alone time!" Joe talks to himself. Robot Peter Clone unsuspectingly sneaks up behind Joe.
Turning around, Joe was shocked when he saw 'Peter'. "Peter! What are you doing here?" Robot Peter Clone just stared at Joe blankly. "I kind of want to be alone." Joe informs 'Peter'. "Still staring at me. At least say something.....sigh fine. You invited yourself to go fishing with me." Joe says throwing a fishing pole at 'Peter.'
Robot Peter Clone used the fishing pole and got a fish. "Wow! That's awesome, Peter. You're a regular Orlando Wilson!" Joe speaks.
Picking up lure with the fishing pole, Robot Peter Clone actually caught a water moccasin. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!"
Joe bawled and trembled. "That's a sn..sn..sn..snake! It's calling fishing, not snaking!" Robot Peter Clone takes the water moccasin and throws it at Joe and the snake wrapped itself around Joe's body. Robot Peter Clone runs away fast and it out of Joe's sight. The crippled policeman was now struggling to free himself from the water moccasin's grip. "What the actual hell, Peter!" Joe screams.
Making his way back to Spooner Street and going into the Griffin House. Robot Peter Clone was then confronted by Meg.
"Why did you ditch me on my birthday yesterday!" Meg rants.
Using the same stare he did with Joe, Robot Peter Clone just glanced at Meg.
"Well! Say something! Every year you all do this to me! The only time you paid attention to my birthday was when you took me to that stupid Teen Choice Awards and I ended up going out with Quagmire. What's your excuse this time!" Meg demanded.
"HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone said to Meg. Then he grabbed Meg and threw her into the wall leaving a Meg shaped hole on the living room wall. Robot Peter Clone walks out of the house looking for more Quahog residents to inflict pain upon.
*
Radiohead's Creep plays thoughtout.
Brian was driving down the street in his Prius. Going to pick up Stewie from daycare when he saw Robot Peter Clone throw cars around while saying, "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" "The hell has gotten into Peter? This is the first I've heard of it." Brian thinks out loud to himself. Carter Pewterschimdt runs up to Peter, "Blowing away the town, huh Peter? Always known Lois deserves better than you!"
"HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone says as he grabs Carter and throws him down a manhole. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS....." Carter yells when he fell into the manhole. Robot Peter Clone runs into the Drunken Clam and sees Jerome. "So Peter, what will it be today?" asks Jerome. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone says who grabs all the alcohol bottles and throws them all on the ground. "What the fuck is this all about, Peter?" Jerome said in a maddening manner. Robot Peter Clone smashes the booths with his fists.
Walking out of the Drunken Clam. Robot Peter Clone then proceeds to rip out fire hydrants, street lights and anything else he can get his hands on. Jumping up and down, thus causing what seemed like an Earthquake. Robot Peter Clone even used the laser pistol the Antabuse aliens had given him. Stewie ran out of the daycare center when he spotted Brian. "Brian! Brian! Do earthquakes come to Rhode Island?" Stewie cries. "I don't think so, Stewie. Either that or Peter is hopped up on testesterone." Brian tells the baby.
Brian and Stewie watch when the Robot Peter Clone runs inside buildings and then throwing people out and beating them up. "BLAST! Why is the Fatman destroying the city? Why can't that be me doing this!" Stewie states angerly. "That's not Peter. Something else is going on. We're the only ones in the family with any common sense. That's why we'll look into it." Brian said putting Stewie into his Prius and driving home.
The song ends. In the UFO, Head Alien Boss was laughing as were all the other Antabuse aliens as they were watching the Robot Peter Clone obliterate Quahog via their crystal ball. Peter was watching too, "THAT'S NOT ME! THAT'S NOT ME! I know I can be an asshat but I'm not THIS bad!" Head Alien Boss heads over to Peter, "No one can rescue you now, Peter! Even if you do get free, you will go to prison for life for you will be blamed for all this!"
"Someone has to find out where I am! And fast!" Peter says. "Oh no. As soon as we are done with this town, we're going to a different country and making another Robot Peter Clone then another! Then another! Soon you will be the Most Wanted Man in the world! You will be our prisoner! FOREVER!" Head Alien Boss told Peter his plan.
"Are you taking me back to your planet when you're done?" asked Peter who was scared. "Yes we will. There's also a food shortage on our planet. We are going make a delicious meal out of you when we go home!" Head Alien Boss said, "Did we mention we eat humans?"
Peter's eyes grew wide. "No! You don't want to eat me! I'll taste like shit!" "From what we hear, humans are yummy!" Head Alien Boss tells Peter. "Hey, wait. I thought you were from a dying planet." Peter says. "Oh that's just some more bullshit we wanted to throw at you to get you over here!" Head Alien Boss said. Sitting back in despair Peter says, "Didn't this happen to Fred Flintstone once? If something doesn't happen soon.
I'll end up on America's Most Wanted! "
Robot Peter Clone goes to the Pawtucket Brewery, Bert and Shiela were at the front enterance. "Peter, you're late!" said Bert. "This is the tenth time this week!" Sheila tells 'Peter'. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Robot Peter Clone said. Bert and Sheila find themselves getting picked up and their heads were knocked together. Robot Peter Clone sees the Pawtucket Brewery and before he goes into tear it down, he says again, "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Soon after Robot Peter Clone wrecks and smashes the Pawtucket Brewery and a full tidal wave of beer rushes out.
A school bus drives down the street, Robot Peter Clone runs to it and goes to the rear end to pick it up. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!"
Herbert who was driving the bus falls out. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! What's a guy gotta do around here to lure children to come to him!"
Lois was in the kitchen taking a cake out of the oven. Unaware that Peter was supposedly pulvervising Quahog. "Oh boy! Peter is going to love this cake!" Robot Peter Clone runs into the house and sees Lois in the kitchen.
"PETER! Come on in! I knew you were coming so I baked a cake!" said Lois. Robot Peter Clone just stares at Lois. "It's that 'special' cake just for us! You know, with the 'Mary Jane' inside it?" Lois said.
Robot Peter Clone took the cake and threw it on the wall. "HOLY FREAKING SWEET!" Lois screams, then she hears the doorbell. Going to answer the door, it was Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire.
"What are you guys doing here?" asked Lois. "Peter is a Menace to Society! And I ain't talking about the Samuel L Jackson movie!" Cleveland said.
"Why? What did he do? Come to think of it, he did throw a cake at the wall." said Lois, "And he disappears for hours."
"That's why we're here. Peter did some insane shit to us!" said Joe.
"Really like what?" Lois says confused.
"I was getting Giggity with a whore. Peter broke in and shot her with a laser gun that vaporized her!" Quagmire says.
"Yeah, and he tipped my house on the side while I was in the bathtub getting ready to meet him!" Cleveland joins in on the conversation.
"He barged in on my fishing trip and he pulled up a snake and threw it at me! Felt like Chevy Chase in Funny Farm!" Joe says.
Brian and Stewie listen to all of Joe's, Cleveland's, and Quagmire's raving about Peter. Stewie pleaded with Brian, "Do we really have to help Peter?"
"Yes we do. He's important to us. You need a father." said Brian. "All right. I'll go on my computer to see if I can track him." said Stewie who wasn't too happy to try to save Peter. "We did save Meg when she got kidnapped in Paris. You were okay with that. So you owe it to us and your family." Brian tells Stewie.
Chris runs into Stewie's bedroom, "Why is everybody complaining about Dad?" "That's what we're going to find out." said Brian. "Can I help too!" asked Chris. "Sure, the more the merrier." Stewie said rolling his eyes.
Joe tells Lois, "Peter hasn't done anything this psychotic since the time we were in Egypt and he made us do a Mummy Documentary!"
Cutaway Scene:
Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire were in Egypt standing outside a Pyramid.
"Hello, this is Cleveland Brown and with me are my friends Joe and Glenn!"
Quagmire said, "Behind us is an Ancient Pyramid believed to have a Mummy's Curse."
"That's right, anyone who goes inside....." Joe was cut off as he heard Peter's 'hee hee hee hee hee' giggling, coming from behind him.
Peter was in a Mummy Costume and sings, "Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy......"
Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire turn around and see the Mummified Peter. "Uuuuuhhhhhh, roar!" Peter said in a voice of uncertainy.
"RUN!!!!!!!" "IT'S THE MUMMY!" "WE UNLEASED THE CURSE!" Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire all ran away Hanna Barbara style deep into the desert.
Taking off the Mummy Costume Peter laughs, "Suck on that King Tut!" Then another Mummy walks to Peter. "We sure showed them didn't we!" asks the Mummy. Peter turns around and screams and shouts, "FELLAS! WAIT FOR ME!"
*
Stewie on his laptop was able to pinpoint Peter's location. "Peter is in the forest in what appears to be a UFO." observes the baby. Brian then begins to remember, "That's right! When we were at that picnic Peter saw some lights and wanted to see where they lights were coming from." "Let's roll! Come on! We gotta find my Dad!" Chris said. "It could be possible that it really was a UFO!" said Brian. "Precisely. Aliens might've captured the fatman and replaced him with a lookalike!" implies Stewie. "So, that really isn't Dad causing chaos in Quahog?" asks Chris. Brian, Stewie, and Chris all run out of Stewie's bedroom and tell Lois, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire the truth about Peter.
"You guys! We have something to say!" said Brian.
Quagmire rolls his eyes, "Great. This ought to be good. Coming from you, Brian."
Brian tells everybody, "That isn't Peter."
"Why of course it is. Who else would it be! Nobody knows extreme rowdiness better than him." said Joe.
"We had that picnic without Meg two days ago. Dad says he saw some lights that he thought were a UFO. That's what I remember him saying." said Chris.
"Whatchoo talkin' bout, Chris?!" Cleveland says.
Brian tells them, "This may sound farfetched. Hear us out here. Peter may have been kidnapped by aliens and they replaced Peter with a destructive lookalike."
Joe impeeds on Brian's word, "This is a cartoon show. Guess it could be true." Quagmire says, "Stranger things have happened. That could explain why Peter vaporized that whore I was fucking."
Lois collects her thoughts, "This is all starting to make sense. Peter was very curious about those 'lights'."
Chris says, "We're going to the forest and bringing Dad back." Lois said, "Good luck to all of you. I want my Peter back!" Joe tries to meddle, "You may need some backup. I am a cop you know." "Better leave this to us." said Brian as he, Stewie and Chris get into his Prius. Chris tells Joe, "Go arrest some real criminals!" Joe feels dejected that he could not be a backup for Chris, Stewie, and Brian. "It's because I'm crippled isn't it."
Driving into the forest, Robot Peter Clone was still terrorizing Quahog. Even still using the laser pistol. As Stewie sees 'Peter' he takes out a missile shooter, "I never leave home without this!" Stewie shoots the missile shooter at the Robot Peter Clone and it explodes into pieces. Everyone in Quahog cheers. "There's the forest, Brian! Hang in there, Dad! We're coming!" Chris says.
Back at the UFO in the forest, Head Alien Boss saw that Robot Peter Clone was broken. "SHIT! WHO DID THAT! Well no matter. We'll just clone you again!" Head Alien Boss heads over to Peter still encased in the status tube. "You'll never get away with this! My friends will......." Peter tells Head Alien Boss, then Brian, Stewie, and Chris break into the UFO with the help of Stewie's missile launcher.
"Brian! Chris! Stewie! You saved me!" Peter cheers. "Wow, Stewie! You kick ass with that missile shooter!" said Chris. "You ought to see what I do with a Salad Shooter!" Stewie wisecracks. The Antabuse aliens surround Brian, Stewie, and Chris. "Oh son of bitch! Stewie. Prepare to use it again!" Brian told Stewie. Head Alien Boss sees them and says, "So, you're the little heroes who are going to take us out!"
"No, that's not it. We want you to go back to where ever it was you came from and give Peter back to us!" demanded Brian. "Think we'll listen to you? Never!" said the Head Alien Boss. "You better if not, we'll use force!" Stewie warns the Head Alien Boss.
"We won't stop until we have this planet for ourselves! For you see we got your precious Peter because......." The Head Alien Boss was going to finish until they hear a horn sound. Some confetti drops down to the floor of the UFO. The UFO breaks in half, and all the Antabuse Aliens and the Head Alien Boss all take off their costumes and reveal that they were really humans the whole time. Then party whistles are heard. Brian, Peter, Chris, and Stewie were confounded as ever.
"What the fucking duece is going on here!" yelled Stewie.
All the humans were laughing and cracking up. "Does this mean I wasn't kidnapped and you guys aren't aliens?" asks Peter.
"We may have been pranked. Worse than anything Ashton Kutcher ever could do." said Brian.
"That's right! We weren't really aliens!" said one of the humans.
"What silly ass caper is this"! Chris screams angerly.
"No it's not. We're really college students from Georgia Tech!" said another one of the humans.
Peter was relieved, "You got me good. I thought you guys really were aliens!"
Brian asks the college students, "Why did you waste your valuable time doing this stupid ass shit?"
"Glad you asked. You see, we wanted to do HUGE something for Spring Break. Instead of going to Fort Boring-dale Florida. We came here to Quahog Rhode Island so we can lure someone here to think we were aliens, then 'clone' whoever we captured to devestate the town. Anything to get people intruiged so they'll want to watch our show! " explains one of the college students.
"All this just for a Spring Break prank?" asked Brian.
"Not exactly for Spring Break, we wanted to pitch an idea for a Reality Show! So thank you Peter Griffin beause......" a college student says then all the other college students chant, "WE FUCKED YOU GOOD!"
Peter laughs. "Aren't you offended by any of this? They made a asshole out of you!" said Brian.
"We Fucked You Good! That was going to be the name of our show." said one of the college students. "How did you clone me?" asks Peter. "Don't forget, we go to Georgia Tech!"
"Special effects. Ever heard about it?" "It's all filmed on our computers so we're headed over to New York to pitch our idea to a network!"
Peter feels a rage coming within him. Stewie feels discontented, "I was hoping they really were aliens so I could kill them all." "Tommorrow's another day, Stewie." Brian assured him.
Chris asks, "Dad, what's wrong?"
"Hold my beer, Chris! I'm about to kick some ass!" Peter says charging at the Georgia Tech students.
"Now, calm down." "We were just making a prank." "It's was just a joke! It was just a joke!"
Peter runs and jumps in slow motion until it becomes a freeze frame. The scene turns white.
*
At the Griffin House, Peter tells the whole story. "...Then BOOM! Left turn! There were no aliens. They were really Georgia Tech students in disguise." explains Peter.
"Oh, Peter. That's all water under the bridge now. What's really worth it is that we're so happy you're home with us. Then I feel so bad that those cruel college students put you thought all that shit." said Lois.
"Don't fret about it. I put them all in a hospital! If you know what I mean." Peter said.
Chris says, "I told the whole thing to your friends Dad. Of course they said they already knew because it was all over the news."
"I'm glad everything is back to normal." said Brian. "Everyone in Quahog is pitching in to clean up the mess." added Lois.
"Everything always turns out fine in the end!" said Peter. "Those college students are going to prison as soon as they get out of the hospital. Hope they enjoy prison rape!" Stewie said.
Brian notices Meg is gone, "Everything expect for Meg being here. Where is Meg, anyway?"
Lois said, "Oh, she was so mad we ditched her on her birthday so she ran away, moved to Mayberry and joined the police force there."
Cutaway Scene:
At the Mayberry Police Station. Andy Taylor and Barney Fife notice Otis was gone from his cell. "Otis is gone again!" said Barney Fife. "Maybe that new girl we hired knows something about this. Meg get in here!" Andy says.
Meg walks into the Mayberry Police Station. "He told me he had to use the bathroom." she explains.
"SHUT UP MEG!" yells both Andy and Barney. Then both Andy and Barney both took turns farting in Meg's face.
Meg faints on the floor, Andy says, "And that concludes tonight's episode of Family Guy!"
Barney says, "Be sure to tune in next week! In the meantime we gotta find Otis!"
An audience is heard clapping and the Andy Griffith show theme song The Fishing Hole begins to play.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
Sign up to rate and review this story