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Chapter 16





Best Kept Secrets





"I .. well .. I was in St. Mungo's, in a coma, during the worst of it. But, I need to back up and tell you about the week before your parents were betrayed. It's complicated and one thing led to another, I just got knocked out of the line of fire, so to speak. Our families weren't so lucky." Anna hung her head.



"My folks, you mean?"



"Yes and no. Also your grandparents, James' folks, and my father, were killed."



"What?" Harry was stunned. "All of them, your mother, too?"



"No, my mother died in my sixth year, a freak accident. Ironically, a week later, Severus mother died, well, was murdered, actually. Two tragic losses, another bond that we shared." Anna added, softly.



"Murdered? By whom?" Harry asked.



"At the time, everyone thought his father had done it. Went insane, you see, was sent to Azkaban and died there a few months later."



"And your mother had just died a week before?"



"Ah, well,/ that/ was a stupid accident. Lorry blew a tire, driver lost control, ran up on the sidewalk and hit and killed her. She was walking back from market. When I came back to Hogwarts after the funeral Severus was gone, dealing with his mother's funeral and his father's arrest and trial. He had to handle everything, all the arrangements, himself. He returned the next weekend.



"We were all at breakfast on that Saturday morning, when he came to the door of the Great Hall. Everyone knew what had happened, of course. Severus just stood there. I looked at him and knew he needed me. I got up and walked over to him. He looked down at me, and then he took my hand and we walked out of the school and started down the path that runs along the lake. He didn't speak, even once, and we spent the entire day walking; first out to the south point and back and then to the rock outcrop on the other side of the lake and back again."



"All day," Harry asked, astonished. "Without stopping?" Anna nodded.



"We didn't say a word to each other until sunset. It was getting dark quickly and when Severus turned to go down to the point again, I knew it would be too dangerous for us to be out there alone. So, I dug in my heels and he turned and looked at me as if he suddenly realized I was there. 'Enough/,' I said. '/Come inside. We have to get on with our lives, Severus.' "



"Did he say anything, or just walk away?" Harry was on the edge of his seat, a half eaten cookie in his fingers.



"Well, he looked up at Hogwarts and then at me. 'This is my home now. I'll NEVER go back there, to that place, and I have nowhere else to go, except here. No family, except you, Anastasia/. /Please excuse me, but there is something I must /do, alone./' He gave me a kiss on my forehead, turned, went inside and I didn't see him until class on Monday.



"Blimey." Harry muttered and popped the cookie in his mouth. "What did he have to do?"



"I always wondered, but never pried. He told me later that he went out on one of the balconies, overlooking the greenhouses and gardens and scattered his mother's ashes, so that they settled down in a place he thought she would enjoy, and that way, he believed he would sense she was always near him."



Anna sighed and continued, "He wasn't the same from then on. I think that was when he decided, once and for all, to become a Death Eater. Somehow, Voldemort convinced him that he was the only one who really cared. That Dumbledore only cared about the school and the students, as long as they /were /students. Who was going to care about him once he graduated? Voldemort said he would always be there for him, he would show him what was important in life."



"How do you know that?" Harry questioned.



"Severus told me, just recently. We had a long talk about what happened back then; about your parents, Voldemort, Sirius, your grandparents .. everything."



"But why were my grandparents and your father killed?" Harry inquired.



"Uncle Will and Aunt Belle were tortured and then killed, on Voldemort's orders, when they couldn't tell the Death Eaters where your parents were hiding. It was Rosier and Wilkes. They were killed trying to escape, injuring Mad-Eye Moody during the battle."



"And your father?" Harry asked quietly.



Anna took a deep breath. "Lucius Malfoy killed him when he tried to help your grandparents. Lucius was standing lookout and killed Dad as he went running to their house. Your grandparents' house elf, Toby, had escaped to our house, badly wounded, to raise an alarm. My father alerted the Ministry and then went to see if he could help. Lucius ambushed him in the back yard. He never had a chance. Daisy ran out to help but he killed her, too."



"How do you...know what happened?" Harry asked, although he thought he had already guessed the answer.



"When word came into the Aurors office, I overheard what was going on. Mad-Eye didn't see me in the hall, so I ran to the nearest fireplace and took the Floo Network to my folk's house. I heard someone outside, coming toward the back door, so I Disapparated to our old tree house. My father and Daisy were lying on the ground below me, dead. I could see both houses from there and heard yelling and screams from the other house. Lucius was walking toward our kitchen door. He looked inside, saw your grandparent's house elf on the floor, killed him and then started back to the garden gate, heading for your grandparent's house. He walked right under me and I did something /REALLY /dumb. I jumped right down on top of him."



"You didn't!" Harry gasped.



"Too right, I did. We went rolling down the lawn, all tangled up, his wand went flying. I was hitting him, biting him, scratching and screaming at him. I went a little crazy, I guess. All I know, it was certainly nothing he was ever expecting to happen. It took him a minute to push me off and start to crawl toward his wand. But I knew the territory, so I ducked behind the oak tree, ran back to the edge of the orchard, turned right and came around the garden shed at the side of the vegetable garden before he could even stand up and disentangle himself from his robe. He couldn't find me. Lucius figured that more Aurors would be showing up any minute, so he turned to yell a warning but I shot him with a silencing spell. Unfortunately, that gave away my position. So .. we dueled."



"You against Lucius Malfoy! Bloody hell!" Harry was leaning forward, listening intently.



"I was so crazy mad, I didn't care who I was up against. I kept him too busy, between dodging my spells and then throwing his at me, to get a chance to reverse my silencing spell. So for a few minutes, Rosier and Wilkes didn't know anything was happening in the garden next door. We were both taking hits, but he was slowly getting the upper hand. And this is the strange bit; I was getting really mad at Mad-Eye for being so slow getting there!" Anna paused and smiled. "I remember, distinctly/, thinking that if I survived I would /NEVER tolerate anyone giving me a hard time about being late, ever again!"



"So, what happened when he did show up?" Harry asking, urging her to continue.



"I heard, before I saw, someone in my house. There was a loose floorboard by the back door, you see. I thought, '/About bloody time/!' But, it was Severus."



"Snape!" Harry gasped. "He was there when my grandparents were murdered?"



"No, Harry. He had just gotten there himself, on Voldemort's orders, to tell the Death Eaters to leave. Voldemort knew the Aurors would be showing up any minute. Seeing him distracted me, giving Lucius time to reverse the silencing spell. He went to hit me with the Avada Kedavra spell but turned his head when he spotted Severus coming out of the kitchen door. That gave me a split second to dive over the garden wall. Lucius was walking toward me, laughing, and then Rosier and Wilkes came out of the house and I was right in front of them, against the wall, an easy target - I was dead. Then Mad-Eye showed up with Frank Longbottom and Kingsley Shacklebolt and the others and basically, all hell broke loose. Lucius ducked behind the oak tree, but I wasn't about to let him get away. So, I did another stupid move; I jumped, well, rolled back over the wall and started dueling with him again. He got me with a ricochet off the wall, knocking me sideways, breaking about three ribs, but I stumbled back toward the oak tree. I was trying to catch my breath, not an easy task with broken ribs, when I heard him yell, '/Kill her/!' Then I heard him Disparate. Pop! Gone."



"Coward." Harry muttered



"Yes, but sensible, from his standpoint. /Anyway/, I started to take a look around but got blasted, /again/. Lifted off the ground, this time. I landed about twenty feet away, the wind knocked completely out of me. I had also hit my head on the brick edging of one of the flower beds, so I was seeing stars. Someone was walking toward me, wand out. The noise of the battle at your grandparent's house was getting fuzzy; I was passing out. I forced myself to focus on the person bending over me. It was Severus.



"The oak tree was between us and the house, so no one could see what was happening. I knew I was going to die. Severus knelt down next to me and grabbed my jaw, turned my head toward him and looked into my eyes. I knew he was using his powers of Legilimens on me, but I didn't care. I was ready to die. I felt very peaceful. My thoughts, which he must have picked up immediately, were, 'Hello old friend. I'm glad it's you and not Lucius, who is going to kill me. I know you'll make it quick and painless.'



"He looked startled. I saw all kinds of emotions playing across his face, but then he stood up and pointed his wand at me. I closed my eyes and waited. Then he said, 'This is the end of it for you, little girl.'



" '/Little Girl/!' Something in me snapped; I got mad...well, livid. My eyes popped open and I would have jumped, correction, struggled to my feet but there was a flash and I was paralyzed; just lying there, looking up at him. I thought, '/This is dead? Oh .. well .. it's not so bad, really. No pain/.. ' Severus smiled grimly down at me. '/No, you're not dead. And now I know you're going to live; you still have some fight left in you. Goodbye, little girl/.' FLASH, bang, colors exploded in my head and everything drifted away."



"What happened? What did he do to you?"



"Put me in a coma. I woke up 10 days later in St. Mungo's. It was all over; James and Lily were dead, you were at the Dursley's, Frank and Alice were in the ward upstairs, Neville was with his Gran, Peter was 'dead', Sirius was in Azkaban, but Voldemort was gone. Everyone was deliriously happy! And Lucius and Severus were walking around free/! I couldn't comprehend /any of it. I was SO mad; at the world, at Severus, at Lucius, but mostly, at myself. I hadn't been any good to anyone/. I should have /been there, I could have helped/! James, Lily, Frank and Alice. I let them /all down." Anna was clenching her fists and a tear rolled down her cheek.



"Don't be foolish, you'd have been killed with them," Harry pointed out, reasonably.



"Maybe, but /what if/, between James and me, we'd have slowed Voldemort down just enough to have given Lily time to get away with you?"



"But, it didn't happen that way and you shouldn't blame yourself."



"In my head, I know that, Harry .. but in my heart .. and I would have been with Frank and Alice .. "



"And in St. Mungo's, just like them. Or dead. Look, survivor to survivor, you're not to blame, anymore than I /am. I was a /toddler/, but it was because of me that /all of this happened. All I can do is accept that reality .. you need to accept your reality and forgive yourself. Then you can drop all of this emotional baggage you've been dragging around for fifteen years. Let it go, Anna."



Anna stared at Harry, and then she smiled. "Thank you, Harry. I really don't know why, but you telling me that makes all the difference. You, of all people, really understand. That stupid old cliché about 'a weight being lifted' should do nicely here, but that's too worn out. Tell you what, let's toast to the past, the people we miss and to the future, may we live to see it and make their sacrifices mean something."



They clicked their tea cups.



"To all our loved ones and friends."



"Here, here!"



They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts and memories. Suddenly, Harry sat up, with a puzzled look on his face.



"Hold on .. I just realized what you said."



"Which bit, Harry, we've covered a lot of territory." Anna smiled at him.



"You said something about 'everyone thought' Snape's father killed his mother. Something isn't right with that part of the story. If he didn't, who did?"