FicWad

One dark and rainy night. Getting done with a stand up routine at a New York City Comedy Club. Louie got a round of applause for his latest performace. "Thank you! Thank you! You've all been a wonderful audience! Don't have to go home but you can't stay here. I'll be here all week." Louie told the audience about to make his exit. Coming out of the Comedy Club, Louie goes into his car.

A woman approaches him, "LOUIE! LOUIE! Sign my breasts! Fuck me! Fuck me on your car! I wanna have your baby!" Feeling startled and stunned, Louie gets into his car and drives away as quickly as he could. On the way home, Louie stops at a red light. His cellphone rings. Louie answers it, "Hello?" Pamela was on the other end. "Louie? You there?"

"Yes, I'm here." Louie responds.

"You better come home and help me." Pamela tells him.

"What's going on?" asked Louie.

"You daughter is sick." Pamela says.

"Oh no. Is she okay? Which one is it?" asked Louie.

"Jane. She's come down with a cold." Pamela said.

Louie rolls his eyes. He didn't like Jane his younger daughter as much as he liked his older daughter Lilly. "I'll see what I can do." Louie said.

"Okay, see you soon, bye." Pamela said hanging up. Louie hangs up his cellphone.

Rushing home, Louie walks into his house. He sees Pamela. "What do you need me to do?" asked Louie.

"Give Jane her medicine. Please let her know you love her." Pamela said. "Sure thing." Louie says getting some medicine for Jane. Walking up the stairs, Louie enters his daughter's bedroom. "Daddy's home."

"Daddy! Wish I could hug you but I don't feel good." Jane said. "I know, sweetie. I know." Louie said. "Got something for you."

Louie gets out some children's cough medicine. Jane isn't too thrilled to take it. "That looks yucky." "Sometimes you gotta have medicine that tastes like shit to get better." Louie says. "You always say bad words." Jane said.

When Jane is given the medicine, she liked the cherry flavor. "Wow! This is good." "It'll help you sleep so you can rest." Louie tells Jane.

"Daddy, I have something for you." Jane said. She gives him a paper boat. "Oh this is nice. Is it a hat?" asked Louie. "No silly. It's a boat. You can sail it. Can you sail it for me? You can use the rain to make it sail. If I weren't sick I would do it myself." said Jane.

"I sure will, honey. Daddy's going to sail your paper boat for you." Louie tells his daughter.

"Thank you, Daddy." Jane said. "Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite." Louie said.

Exiting his house, Louie decides to keep his daughter's promise to sail the paper boat. Louie finds a moving rushing rain puddle to put the paper boat on. The paper boat soon sails away with the rushing puddle. Louie chases after it.

"SHIT! Gotta get it back!" Louie got scared. Fearing he will let Jane down. The paper boat kept sailing farther and father away from Louie's sight. Running after the boat, not looking where he was going, Louie hits his head on a construction blocker. "Son of a bitch! Gotta get Jane's boat back!" Louie yells in the rain. Finally catching up to he paper boat, it fell into a sewage drain. "NO!"

Trying like hell to get the paper boat back for Jane, a clown appears in the sewage drain and greets Louie.

"Are you the famous Louis CK?" asked the clown. "I am. Who are you?" asked Louie.

The clown introduces himself, "I am Pennywise. The Dancing Clown! Does this boat belong to you?" Pennywise had the boat in his hand.

"No, it's my daughter's. She's sick and she wanted me to sail it for her." said Louie.

"Oh, that's too bad. Give her my best. Hope she gets well soon." said Pennywise extended his sympathy.

"Bet you don't know what it's like to have kids. Why are you in a sewer?" asked Louie.

"I live here. There's lots of great stuff down here. Want to come and see it?" asked Pennywise.

"Uhh, maybe not today. Look, give me my daughter's boat back so she can play with it when she gets better." Louie says.

"Hey, I got an idea. How about you come into the sewers and I'll give you your boat back." Pennywise says trying to lure Louie.

"Uhh, no. You know what. I know how to make a boat like that. I'll just..." said Louie trying to sneak away.

"Hey, wait. I got a stage down here for you. So you can perform your stand up!" said Pennywise.

"How did you know I was a comedian?" Louie asks.

"I know everything that goes on. Come on down." Pennywise said with the boat in his hand.

"No I don't want to. Just give back the boat and...." Louie said.

"I got some stuff for kids down here. Like a balloon. You know, balloons. You can give one to your daughter. Balloons in all the colors of a rainbow!" Pennywise suggests holding a balloon.

"Do the balloons float? Why not you give me a balloon and the boat so I can surprise my daughter!" Louie trying to make a deal so Pennywise will leave Louie alone.

"Oh yes they do float! They float!" Pennywise says revving up. Louie grabs the paper boat back, Pennywise says to him, "When you're down here with me. You will have lots of fun doing stand up. Want to know what else?"

"What?" asked Louie.

Pennywise's teeth turn into vampire teeth as he morphs into an evil entity still maintaining his clown apperance. He grips Louie tightly.

"YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!"

Louie screams in terror trying to escape Pennywise's grasp. Louie tries to get a stick and pokes Pennywise with it and cuts loose from the clown's grasp. Louie runs away with the paper boat. Pennywise yells after Louie, "I'll will extend my wrath upon you, Louis CK! I will haunt you until the end of time!" Louie runs back home in the rain. Not telling anyone about Pennywise. "You will never be free of me! NEVER!" Pennywise yelled into the rainy night after Louie.





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The following morning, Louie goes to the local library. Because of his encounter with Pennywise, he wanted to learn how to banish demons. Louie thinks to himself, "Gotta see how I can get that clown demon off my ass!"

Going into the library, Louie shows the librarian at the desk is ID. Who was a short old woman. She says, "Do you need to use the computer?" "Yes," said Louie. "Computers are over there to your right." the librarians tells Louie. Going to the center of the library where the computers were. Louie uses Google Search. "How To Vanquish Demons." Trying to research information, Louie learns all he can to try to be free and clear of Pennywise. Who threatened to haunt him all because he didn't want to come down to the sewers with him. He prints out some websites he found so he can use it.

Louie also did some reseach on Pennywise himself. What Louie found out was that Pennywise is an anicent cosmic evil that preys upon children and emotionally insecure adults. Louie also learned that Pennywise was a shapeshifter who's only noticed by the people and kids that he bedevils. Pennywise was also known as IT. When he was done, Louie hears circus music. Then balloons were flying all around the people on computers. One balloon popped on a man. It left a bloody mess and the man on a computer didn't even notice. Only Louie noticed it.

Another balloon popped on a woman, and left a bloody mess. More balloons came down in the computer center and popped out blood. Louie screams in fear and disrupts the peace of the library by screaming, "AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S SEEING BLOODY BALLOONS, HERE!" All eyes were focused on Louie. People were murmuring. Didn't know what he was talking about. Assumed his was a lunatic. The librarian stomps over to Louie and kicks him out, "All right you! You're too loud and you're disturbing the peace of the library! I'm going to have to ask you to leave!" Louie stammers, "But, lady....I"

The librarian actually gets physical with Louie as she grabs him by the back of his shirt collar and throws him out the door, "GET OUT!" Louie landed flat on his face. Louie was shocked at how such a short elderly lady can pack such a serious punch. His cellphone rings. "Hello." Louie answers his phone.

On the other end it was his manager. "Louie! Come on over to my office. I have some very exciting news for you!" "All right. I'm coming, Bye." Louie said hanging up his cellphone.

Driving his car over to his manager's office, Dave Becky was his name. When Louie reaches Dave Becky's office he takes a seat. "Hey, Louie! Glad you're here." said Dave.

"What did you want to see me about?" asked Louie.

"Ever since The Simpsons debuted, adult cartoons have been a very popular commodity." said Dave Becky.

"Oh yes. I was aware." said Louie.

"Anyway, one of the cartoon studios that does those Adult Swim shows got together and made a cartoon about you!" said Dave Becky.

Louie was excited at the aspect of having his own adult cartoon. After all, he could use a distraction of all he's going through with Pennywise.

"I'm going to show you what the good people of Williams Street came up with." said Dave Becky putting in a DVD in a player.

"These people must be very big fans of mine. Let's see this cartoon!" said Louie.

The DVD Plays. It shows a crudely drawn Louis C.K. walking with his daughters Jane and Lilly what looked like a park. A rock themed song was playing as did a theme song that said, "One day Louis C.K. was walking in the park!" Then it showed Louis C.K., Jane and Lilly encounter a witch doctor. "Until a witch doctor left him in the dark!" The witch doctor uses dark magic on Louis C.K. that morphs him into a baby. Then Jane and Lilly were playing 'keep-away' with the now baby Louis C.K. The theme song plays on, "Now he's a baby and his daughters are having a blast!" Lilly and Jane continue to play with the baby Louis C.K., and the theme song plays, "Once an adult is now under a spell that can't be uncast!"

The opening credits come to an end as Lilly and Jane run up to the screen as they were carrying baby Louis C.K. being held in the air. The announcer says, "INTRODUCING........LITTLE LOUIE BABY!" The baby Louis C.K. screams and cries as he was being shown close up.

The DVD stops and Louie and Dave both clapped. They loved the concept of Louis C.K. having his own cartoon show. "This is exactly what the adult cartoon world needs right now!" said Dave Becky. "I wholeheartedly agree! What channel will it be on? Adult Swim, right?" asked Louie.

"Actually, nobody watches TV Shows on television anymore. So we're thinking maybe NetFlix, Hulu, or even Amazon would be good." said Dave Becky.

Louie was about to leave and shakes Dave Becky's hand, "I would love to see Little Louie Baby come to fruition! Thanks so much for showing me this!"

"You're entirely welcome, I'll schedule an appointment for next week where we will meet the animators and get the Little Louie Baby show on the road!" Dave Becky said.

Louie agrees to come back for the appointment. When he left Dave Becky's office saying his goodbyes. "Well, what do you know! My own cartoon! Little Louie Baby! I like that!" Louie thinks out loud to himself.

Needing to go to the bathroom, Louie goes into the men's room. He hears a roaring sound come from within. "Who's there!" Louie shouted.

Feeling some rumbling coming from beneath him, then water begins to spray all over the men's room. Louie was getting extremely soaking wet from it. Afterwards, he hears a familiar voice, "Hey, there! Louie! Remember me! I just wanted to say Hello!"

The water began to feel hot, Louie can barely breathe. "Hot enough for you, is it! "This isn't very convenient! Hold on while I make some adjustments!" the voice says again. Louie tries to get away. The the door was bolted shut. A gloved hand was coming out of a drain in the men's room, and out came Pennywise.

"Here I am! Louie!" Pennywise introduced himself to Louis CK again. Louie looks at Pennywise with a terrorized face. "Hey, you're gonna like it down here!" Pennywise tells Louie as he was gasping with fear.

"Look here. There's really nowhere to run, Louie boy!" Pennywise teases him. 'Yeah, no shit there!" Louie said trying like hell to be brave.

Pennywise waves goodbye to Louie, "See you in your dreams! Oh and come back, anytime!" Louie gets an adrenaline rush and breaks down the door to the men's room with water gushing all over the floors. Standing against a wall, Louie kept hyperventilating. He then calmed himself and ran away out of Dave Becky's building, and into his car. Reading all the things he printed from the library, Louie says, "I'm going to kick your sorry ass, Pennywise!"




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That very night, Louie was getting ready to do a stand-up routine at a different night club. This time in Atlantic City. Louie was front and center on the stage.

"Before we begin tonight. How would you all like to see a slide show of my family trip to Carlsbad Caverns? I'll crack jokes about it along the way." said Louie.

The audience cheers. Louie gets a slideshow projector and inserts his pictures in it. Pressing a button to the slideshow projector, Louie shows his pictures. "This was taken back when I was 'happily married'. Does that even exist anymore?" Louie asked the audience. As Louie displayed more pictures, the slideshow projector was going faster at an alarming rate. The audience burst into laughter.

"Sorry, folks. Hold on. We seem to be experiencing technical difficulties." Louie tells them. An image of Pennywise soon appears seconds later on the slideshow projector. The audience laughed non stop thinking this was some type of new comedy routine Louie came up with. Louie sees the image of Pennywise and yelled, "STOP BEDEVILING ME YOU CLOWN COCKSUCKER!"

The audience cracked up. Louie ran out of the Comedy Club. The audience was disappointed that Louie made such a fast exit. "We want you to come back!" they all began to chant in protest. The audience didn't see Pennywise, only Louie did. Running to his car, he forgot where he parked. Louie was then stopped by a woman. "Hey, are you Louis CK?" she asks.

Louie jumped about 3 feet in the air, thinking it was Pennywise behind him. "Oh yes I am." he tells the lady. "I've heard so much about you. Was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me tonight." she tells him. Her name was Lauren. "Sure, where do you want to go?" asked Louie. "I know a good resturant here in Atlantic City, you're going to love it." said Lauren. "Sounds good to me." Louie said. Finally finding his car, Louie and Lauren drive to the resturant.

Both were greeted by the host, and were soon seated. "Wow, nice place here." Louie said. Lauren tells him, "They serve the food here very fast." A waiter gives them a menu. Louie was looking at the menu, "I'll have the fish." Lauren said, "I'll just have a salad." Waiter says, "Fish and salad, coming right up."

The service was actually a little slow. Lauren complains, "Uhhh. Last time I was here the service was faster. What happened?" Louie said, "Why are you asking me for. I've never been here." "Got an attitude I see." Laure tells Louie. "Sorry I've just been a little distracted lately." Louie said. "That's okay. Mind if I ask?" asked Lauren.

"Would you believe me if I told you?" says Louie. "What has been going on with you?" asked Lauren. "A clown is stalking me." Louie said. "Clown?" Lauren said confused.

"Not just any clown. A supernatural clown. His name is Pennywise." Louie tells him. Lauren begins to look at Louie like he was a schizo. "That stuff isn't real. That was just from a Stephen King book."

"No he's real all right...." Louie said. Lauren stood up, "I know what's going on here. You don't want to be on this date, do you?" "No no no. I do want to be here. It's just that...." Louie said. "A clown is chasing you? You're just using that as an excuse. All the men I've dated here in Atlantic City, they're all alike. Always tries to find a way not to go out with me. They all used every trick in the book!" Lauren spits out. "It's true! It's true! I meet the clown in a sewer drain and......." Louie tried to explain. Lauren was not having it.

"All right, clown man! Prove to me you want to be on this date. Get your ass in the kitchen and see why our order is taking so long." Lauren commands Louie.

"I'll see what I can find out." Louie said. Sneaking over to the kitchen of the resturant, one of the chefs was staring at Louie. Gulping because he was so scared, and knowing Pennywise was about to strike at any moment. "Uhh, hello. I'm on a date here and I want to know why our order is delayed?" Louie called out in the kitchen.

The chef that was staring at him. His face switched into that of a wolf. Louie screams very loud. That made everyone in the resturant startled like a robbery was taking place. Louie ran back to the seating room out of breath.

"What happened? What's going on with you?" Lauren said angerly but concerned.

Louie screamed very loudly, "I SAW A WEREWOLF!" Everyone in the resturant began to burst out laughing. One of them says, "Hey, Louis CK! Is this a part of your comedy act?"

Lauren throws her purse at him, "First clowns. Now werewolves. I'm done! This date was obviously a huge mistake. Get the fuck outta my sight!" Lauren toddled out of the resturant. Louie decided not to run after her. He exited the resturant on his own accord. A man from the seating room comes to to Louie and says, "ROAR! ROAR! LOOK AT ME! I'M A WEREWOLF!"

Wanting to leave Atlantic City as soon as possible. Driving back to New York City, Louie decides he wants to send Pennywise back to where he came from. "Nobody sees him but me." Louie begins to feel sorry for himself.


The next night, Louie goes into an empty church that got burnt down in a fire. Reading all he printed out of the library, Louie begins to light candles. "This is my only hope now." Louie talks to himself.



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As soon as all the candles were lit, Louie begins to yell. "I'm ready for you, Pennywise! You've intruded in my life for too long. After tonight when I'm done with you! You can go to hell! Hell is where you belong!"

A bunch of construction workers who were rebuilding the burnt down church soon circled around him. Called the police on him on their iphones. "What the fuck are you doing!" shouted one of the construction workers.

"I'm trying to get rid of a clown ghost that's been haunting me!" Louie tells them all. "Go do that somewhere else! This is a very dangerous place to perform your exorcisms you ass!" the construction workers told him. "Don't you know burnt building have dangerous hazards?"

"No I can't leave! I have to do this!" Louis reasons with the construction workers. "If you don't get out of here, we're going to kick you sorry ass! Are you aware we just called the police to tell them you are trespassing!" they all warned Louie.

He didn't listen, so the construction workers all surround him to beat him up. "Okay! You asked for it!" the construction workers all begin to beat up on Louie. Although he was in pain from the beating, Louie manages to get away, and then he finds a power drill and points it on the air. Louie tried to scare away the construction workers with the power drill, but they all laughed at him.

"Ooooh! Whatever shall we do, guys!?" "Look how tough and powerful he is!" "What's he going to do? Drill our brains?" "He ought to drill his own brain!" Louie begins to get posessed by Pennywise who has now consumed his body by using Louie's body as a host.

"Kiss me fat boys! Excuse me! Is your refrigerator running! gasp It is? Well you better go catch it before it runs away!" Louie yelled as he talked in Pennywise's voice. The construction workers begin to tremble with her. "What the fuck is wrong with him?" "He's posessed!"

Louie talks some more in Pennywise's voice, "Let go! Be afraid! You all taste better when you're afraid! I'm every nightmare you ever had! I'm your worst dream come true! I'm everything you were ever afraid of!"

"Why is he talking like that?" asked one of the construction workers. "HE'S NUTS!" "Are the cops on the way?" "Hope so!"

"Want a balloon," Louie still talks in Pennywise's voice. "They float! They all float around here! When you're here with me! You'll float too!" Louie's body begins to morph into Pennywise. The construction workers all run out of the church. Police sirens were heard in the distance coming to the burnt down church.

Louie in Pennywise's voice chanted, "YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!"

The construction workers lead the police to where Louie was in the church. "He's in there. Go get him!"

The police warned Louie, "Come out with your hands up! Stop whatever you're doing and get your ass out here, now!"

"NEVER! NEVER!" Louie screeches in a possessed voice and goes on, "LOUIE DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE IN THE SEWER WITH ME! FOR THAT...FOR THAT! I HAVE POSSESSED HIS SOUL! SO NOW HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME!" When the police broke into the burnt down church, a bunch of balloons fall on the cops. They didn't stop them from apprehending Louie. Once Louie was grabbed by the cops, he was back to normal.

"Louis C.K. You're under arrest for trespassing and attempted arson!" The cops tell him as they escort Louie to the police car. Louie was dragged kicking and screaming, "NO! NO! NO! You don't understand! Pennywise is after me! I gotta be free of him! I wasn't trying to burn down anything! I was trying to..."

"Yeah, right! And I'm Santa Claus!" "Tell it to the judge, asshole!" two of the cops tells Louie. Then one cop as he was beating him with a nightstick.

The next day, Louie was tried in court and was declared insane. Louie had to go to a mental institution for the next six months to two years. Pamela, Lilly, and Jane along with his manager David Becky all came to visit him. "Sorry," the man at the desk of the mental institution told them, "He can't see any visitors right now."

David Becky, Pamela, Lilly, and Jane all go home very saddened. "When is Daddy's going to come home?" asked Jane. "I'm afraid he's not well." Pamela tells her daughters.

In a padded room. Louie was in a straightjacket wandering around. Acting all demented and spazzed out.

"YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!" "GET ME OUTTA HERE! SO I CAN DESTROY PENNYWISE! I NEED TO MURDER THAT CLOWN ASSHOLE! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!"

All Louie had with him was a black magic marker. He used it to write on the padded walls with his barefeet, "KILL PENNYWISE! KILL PENNYWISE! KILL PENNYWISE!"

Pennywise has won. Louis C.K.'s comedy career was down the toilet. What became of his promising new adult cartoon Little Louie Baby, do you ask? As soon as the news reports about Louie trying to burn down a church came to light all because he was trying to be be rid of a make believe clown. It was soon rejected and forgotten to obscurity. Never to see the light of day. When Louie will finally be released from the mental institution, he will have to be on probation and do community service be under house arrest until he can get his career back.

Until then, none of that was happening anytime soon.

Louie was still screaming like he was being tortured by savages. Even resorted to banging his body on the padded walls. "YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!" Louie's voice begins to echo into the sky.