Categories > Cartoons > Paradise PD
Paradise PD
Fanfic Title:
Snake Hick Club
by: Trenton Sands
Author's Note: Decided to do some Paradise PD fanfics. In this one I am not using Thester. Because I do not like him. He's way too annoying. So Brett DeMarco will be Fitz's second in command partner instead. Brett DeMarco would've been a better partner for Fitz than Thester ever was.
Scene 1:
At the Paradise PD Police Department. Randall, Kevin, and Bullet were taping what looked to be a Crime Club Convention.
Bullet: This Crime Club think you came up with was pure genius, Randall!
Randall: Yes, it's just the perfect trap for us to get Fitz. If I do say so myself!
Kevin: Yeah, we're going to put Fitz in his place all right!
Bullet sees Fitz and his new right hand man Brett DeMarco walk inside the Convention.
Kevin: Glad we used the metronome for this.
Bullet: We got you now, Fitz!
Randall: Which ever club they pick to join, we'll go undercover!
At the Paradise Metronome, Gerald Fitzgerald and his new partner, Brett DeMarco look all around for a club to join.
Fitz: They never have anything like this for us drug dealers.
Brett: Yeah, it's usually family oriented shit like Farmer's Markets.
Fitz: All we need to do is join a criminal club.
Brett: Tell me why again we're at this Crime Club Convention?
Fitz: Because the more criminals we're exposed to, the more costumers and sellers we have for our Argyle and Houndstooth meth.
Brett: That Drama one looks pretty cool. I was in one in high school! To Be Or Not to...
Fitz: Shut up! Stop acting like a fucking buffoonish asshole. I already had a partner like that and he died!
Brett: What did happen to that guy?
Fitz: You mean, Thester Carbomb?
Brett: Oh look! A French Club! Let's join that! We can be like Alain Charnier from the French Connection!
Fitz: No way! I don't do French things. Anyway, Thester died in a car accident when a drug speedtrain banged into his car.
Brett: Sorry to hear about that. You have my condolences.
Fitz: Yeah, thanks! (points to a booth) Think I found a club!
Brett (points to another booth): So did I!
Fitz goes to the booth with a sign that reads "MAFIA CLUB". Back at the Paradise PD Police headquarters, Kevin, Randall and Bullet were watching through a surveillance camera that Bullet had planted.
Bullet: HA! Think we hit paydirt, dudes!
Kevin: Are we going undercover now to nail Fitz?
Randall: I'm going to trust you on this, Kevin. Whatever you do don't fuck up this plan of action!
Kevin: We'll do, Dad!
Randall, Kevin, and Bullet were on their way to the Paradise Metronome to go on an undercover mission. Fitz signs up for the Mafia Club. Brett finds a booth with a sign that reads, "Snake Hick Club". Words underneath said!" Abandon All Hope!"
Brett: Huh? How bad could this be?
Walking to the booth, Brett falls into a trap door.
Scene 2:
On the way to the Metronome, Kevin wonders why it's just him, Randall, and Bullet.
Kevin: Hey, Dad. Where's everybody else?
Bullet: Stanley is in another one of his comas.
Randall: Dusty signed up for sleep experiments.
Kevin: What about Gina?
Bullet: Oh, she's working a bank robbery case.
The scene changes to Dusty sleeping on a hospital bed with electrodes attached to his head. While sleeping Dusty has a nightmare that a psychopathic woman named Brynn Redflowers was beating up everyone at the Paradise PD. Brynn hated Gina the most so she had her in an iron maiden while making Dusty watch. When Brynn was done, she then closes in on Dusty while saying to him. Brynn had red hair, purple tank top, skinny jeans and knee high boots.
Dusty: You killed Gina you bitch! She was the only woman I had ever loved!
Brynn: You're all mine now Dusty! All mine! (cackles)
Dusty: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME?
Brynn: Next stop, Mushroom Kingdom! After that, the planet Mobius! (drags Dusty away)
Dusty: NO! NO! NO! NO!
Another scene with Gina is shown as she is subduing bank robbers Mortal Kombat style.
Gina: Guess this case is closed! Closed in my Scrapbook of arrests!
Entering the metronome, Kevin, Bullet, and Randall manage to sneak inside dressed like Mafia hitmen.
Scene 3:
Brett DeMarco looks all around. He finds himself in a basement. That is until Brett heard a voice. It was Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie: Greetings! Welcome to the Snake Hick Club!
Brett: Uhhh, hi. I'm Brett DeMarco and I work for pharmacidals.
Delbert: No need to tell us your life story.
Brett sees that Robbie and Delbert were wearing bubble wrap suits over their clothes.
Robbie: Bet you're going to ask about our club attire, I wager?
Brett: Uh, yes. Will I get one too?
Delbert: You will after we give you our approval.
Brett: All right, but why bubble wrap?
Robbie: Why not bubble wrap? It's all we can afford for right now.
Delbert: We were also inspired by the movie Dude, Where's My Car.
Brett: So, uh. Mind telling me what is it you do in this club?
Robbie: Eager beaver are we? For starters, we're redneck hicks who started snake themed club.
Delbert: Our main goal is to summon the snake God known as Cres.
Brett: Snake God? Cres. Got it. How are you going to summon this snake?
Robbie: The internet of course. We just need to access the website.
Delbert: But only our computer is one from 2003.
Brett: Wouldn't it be better to get an upgraded computer?
Robbie: Hey, you have no right to question the way we run things around here.
Brett: OKay, sorry.
Delbert: You're not ready yet.
Brett: I only joined to find some who are willing to help the Legion of DOOOOOM sell argyle and houndtooth meth. Gerald Fitzgerald the Kingpin sent me.
Robbie: Great timing you came. Cres would be perfect to help you all sell meth. Then we can achieve our ultimate goal.
Brett: And what would that be?
Delbert: You're the leader, tell him, Robbie.
Robbie: We're also going to use Cres to take over the world!
Brett: Wow. The more evil the better. Why take over the world?
Delbert: So we rednecks can be the dominant spieces on the planet.
Brett: When are we going to get some action here?
Robbie: In due time, my friend. But first, Delbert will sing you our Snake Hick Club theme song. Hit it!
Delbert (gets a guitar and sings): Well, I Feel Better All Over More Than Anything Else. Baby When I'm Out With You! I Feel Better All Over When You Kiss Me Like You Do....
Brett stares in disbelief wondering what he got himself into.
Robbie: It's an old Ferlin Husky song. In fact, it's the only song we're going to listen to in our club!
Brett: I wonder how Fitz is doing with his club.
Scene 4:
Outside a building that was Goopy Goopers, a caption reads "Mafia Headquarters" then a Mafia Don covers up the caption.
Mafia Don: Shhhhhhh!
Gerald Fitzgerald was in a huge room full of speakers. The voice through the speakers talked like Marlon Brando. His name was Sonny Zamari.
Sonny: So, you want to join our organization?
Fitz: Of course I do.
Sonny: We are the Mafia. We're rather unsure of someone of your stature joining us.
Fitz: What stature? You mean my skin color? Damn, you Mafia are racist, fucking pigs!
Sonny: Up until now, we only allowed Italians to join, but with you. We'll make an exception.
Fitz: All right. You do know I'm a Kingpin, right? Leader of the Legion of DOOOOOM to be exact.
Sonny: Yes, we know. We can use someone like you on our team.
Fitz: Go on. I'm listening.
Sonny: How would you like to be our personal hitman for our Mafia?
Fitz: Count me in! If there's anything I love doing is killing people! You should've seen what I did to Terry Two Toes!
Sonny: Approved! You are now our personal hit man!
Fitz was more than pleased to start his new gig as a Mafia Hit Man. In another room, Sonny was watching Fitz in a recording room.
Sonny: Ha! He's perfect! Make him an offer he can't refuse!
The Zamari Crime Family consisted of two brothers named Michael and Fredo.
Fredo and Michael: Right away big brother Sonny!
Scene 5:
Brett was still sitting on the couch listening to Robbie and Delbert talking to him. While eating Rice Krispie Treats.
Robbie: You're right, Delbert. Chocolate chips do taste good in these...
Brett (growing impatient): Hey! Hickboys! I've been here three hours now and I still haven't seen anything that looks at all like a real snake!
Delbert: These Rice Krispie treats are shaped like snakes.
Brett: No your treats looks like shit!
Delbert and Robbie gave a look of disgust and soon got over it.
Robbie: Patience Brett! All will be revealed soon. Because we have a secret hidden, AGENDA! And a very dark AGENDA! Other clubs would not agree with our....AGENDA!
Delbert: Hey, that sounds like fun. Let me try! AGENDA!
Whenever Robbie and Delbert said "Agenda" their faces were shown close up!
Robbie: AGENDA!
Delbert: AGENDA!
Robbie: AGENDA!
Delbert: AGENDA!
Brett: You made your point! What do I have to do to see a snake in this club? Watch the movie Ssssss? Or that Six Million Dollar Man episode?
Robbie: Know what? Maybe you're right. Think it is time we do summon our soon to be leader, Cres!
Delbert: We'll need someone who's good with computers.
Brett: You can use me. I'm fucking A at computers. I work with them at my pharmacidal company.
Robbie: Nah, not you. We're thinking of someone in more of the lines of being homeless.
Delbert: I know someone who's homeless.
Brett: You're not thinking about hiring who I think you're going to......
Under a bridge, Robbie and Delbert lead Brett to where Hobo Cop resided.
Hobo Cop: What do you guys want? Got any Bibles for me to eat?
Robbie: We got a proposition for you, Hobo Cop!
Delbert: Criminals like us can use a homeless guy like you for help.
Brett: Uhh, yes. Like teenagers who want to buy beer for a party.
Hobo Cop: What will it be?
Robbie: We want you to hack into our computer and bring forth a Snake God.
Delbert: We'll make it worth your while!
Robbie (jabs Delbert's ribs): So will you do it?
Hobo Cop: Sure! Just as long as I can take a Holy Shit!
Brett: It's been decided! Afterwards we'll give you all the Bibles you want to eat!
Hobo Cop goes with Brett, Robbie, and Delbert back to the Snake Hick Club.
Scene 6:
Miles away from the Goopy Goopers Sonny Zamari and his brothers named Fredo and Michael were getting Fitz ready for his first mission. Fitz was on a jet ski ready to go across the Gulf of Mexico.
Sonny: Here's the deal, Fitz. Across the gulf is an empty building. That's where our rivals the Kranti family is.
Fitz: Right.
Fredo: All we need you to do is go inside, search for them. If you see any of the members, KILL!
Michael: If you succeed, you will be our honorary hit man!
Fitz (getting ready to take off): I'll do it! I'm in the mood for some bloodshed anyway!
Sonny: Good luck and as they say in Hollywood and now we Mafia will say, break a leg!
Fitz (salutes): I won't let you down!
Michael: When this is done maybe we'll join your Legion of DOOOOOM!
Fitz goes off on the jet ski. Going across the gulf like the Zamari Brothers had told him to. Scritti Politti's Perfect Way begins to play.
Fredo (calls out to Fitz): Whatever you do! Don't do anything to go against the family!
Sonny (turns to Fredo): Do you always have to say that to anyone we recruit.
Fredo: Well, I..
Michael: Don't say that anymore! We're sick of it now!
Fitz: Damn! I feel like Gregory Hines in Running Scared! (riding the jet ski)
Sailing across the gulf, Fitz manages to make it to land. The song ends as Fitz found the building.
Fitz: This must be where they are.
Entering, Fitz sees nothing but empty cardboard boxes and rats running around. Armed with his gun, Fitz hears a noise that sounded like a screwdriver dropping.
Fitz: All right, Kranti family! I know you're here!
Footsteps were heard from behind Fitz, before he knew it. Fitz felt a gun barrel at his back.
Voice #1: Surprise!
Fitz turns around and he sees what he thinks is the Kranti family. Who looked like three men dressed like assassins.
Voice #2: We're glad you're here because now we finally got you!
Fitz: That's where you're wrong. The Zamari family sent me to fuck your ass up! Enjoy your last moments of being alive you Kranti family mother fuckers!
Voice #3: Actually we're not the Kranti family we're really....
The "Kranti Family" take off the assassin costumes and reveal they're Randall, Bullet, and Kevin.
Randall: PARADISE PD!
Bullet: Got you with the goods, hey Fitz!
Kevin: Before we cart you away for being the Kingpin, we're going to give you the beating of your life!
Fitz: Not that I can help it! (pulls out a gun)
A gunfight breaks out. Randall, Kevin, and Bullet were shooting at Fitz as he was doing the same. Fitz found a hiding place to shoot at Randall, Bullet, and Kevin who were now looking for him.
Kevin: Where did he go Dad!
Randall: You figure it out!
Bullet (sniffs around): My cocaine sniffing days have come in handy! Fitz is over there!
Fitz quickly gets out of his hiding place and finds a jar of blow darts.
Randall: Dammit! We lost him again!
Bullet: I can sniff him out again!
Kevin: Ohhh! Oh Fitz! Hey Fitz! Come out come out where ever you are!
Randall (slaps Kevin): Are you that fucking stupid?!
Fitz was now behind them and throws the blow darts into their necks.
Randall: KEVIN! This is all your......(falls asleep)
Fitz: Your asses are mine Moe, Larry, and Curly!
Kevin (falls asleep): Dad, sorr....
Bullet (falls asleep) YAWN! Bedtime for Bullet!
Fitz stood over the Bullet, Kevin, and Randall and was very proud of the job he had done. Fitz gets his cellphone to call Sonny.
Sonny (over the phone): Hey, Fitz! Did you get them!
Fitz: I got them!
Sonny: Good we'll be over right away to pick up the bodies!
Momentarily, The Zamari Brothers were at the empty building. Sonny congratulated Fitz on doing a great job.
Sonny: Glad we hired you to be on our team.
Fitz: It's great to be here! What are you going to do with them?
Sonny: Uhh, probably just drop them off in a ditch somewhere!
Fredo and Michael were dragging Kevin, Bullet, and Randall into their car.
Randall: We'll get your for this FITZ!
Kevin: Filthy traitor! Next time we meet it'll be your demise!
Bullet: This episode was supposed to be about a Snake Club run by rednecks! SNAKE CLUB!
Sonny (to Fitz): Now your next mission. Take out the Snake Hick Club!
Fitz (cocks gun): I'm already there!
Scene 7:
Back in the basement of Robbie and Delbert now called The Snake Hick Club. Hobo Cop was on their computer. Brett still remained seated growing impatient by the minute.
Brett: Hello! I'm still here! Stop ignoring me, dammit!
Hobo Cop: What am I doing here, again?
Robbie: We're going to get the snake called Cres out of the internet.
Delbert: And use the snake to extend our wrath around the world.
Hobo Cop: Sorry, I kind of new at this. Where exactly do I do now?
Robbie: Go to Google and type in Cres the Snake God.
Delbert: Then type in the URL address.
Hobo Cop: All right, now I think I'm getting the hang on this.
Robbie: Once we meet Cres the Snake God, he'll be taking orders from me!
Delbert: Nuh uh, Robbie! Cres will like me the most!
Robbie: Fuck no! Cres will like me better!
Delbert: NO ME!
Robbie: NO ME!
Delbert: SHUT UP!
Robbie: NO YOU SHUT UP!
Delbert: NO YOU SHUT UP!
Robbie: NO YOU SHUT UP!
Delbert: NO YOU!
Hobo Cop: Guys! Guys! Please! Can it! Maybe Cres will like both of you equally!
Brett: Come on! Any day now!
Robbie: Please Brett! Now now! Wait your turn! (to Hobo Cop) All right, type in the URL address.
Hobo Cop: What's it called?
Delbert: WWW dot CRESSNAKEGOD dot Net
Hobo Cop: Got it!
As Hobo Cop was typing in the URL, Robbie smells his breath.
Robbie: Shit Hobo Cop, ever heard of mouthwash!
Hobo Cop: Hello! I'm homeless! I'm supposed to smell like shit! (typing) Okay. I think I got it!
Delbert: Actually it's spelled CRESS THE SNAKE GOD!
The computer begins to make jungle noises along with the sounds of chimpanzees schreeching.
Robbie: Holy shit! We accessed a porn site!
Delbert: COOL!
Hobo Cop (holding his hands over the screen): Sorry, this isn't anything for children to see!
Robbie: We ain't children! Do we look like little kids to you?
Delbert: Yeah, we're in our 20s for crying out loud.
Brett decides he's had enough and is about to leave. Hobo Cop types the URL address correctly.
Robbie: Ooooh! Shit! This is taking too long to download!
Brett: If you guys are just going to clown around like assholes I am outta here! Goodbye!
Just as Brett was about to open the door, Delbert was behind the door to stop him. The Cres The Snake God website was still endlessly downloading.
Delbert: Where do you think you're going?
Brett: I realized this club is all talk and no action! So I'm leaving! Sayonara and good riddance!
Robbie: Why? You need to stay. We accessed the website.
Brett: Yeah, for how long, three days?
Delbert: We forgot to tell you one detail.
Brett: What's that?
Robbie: Whoever joins Snake Hick Club, stays in Snake Hick Club!
Brett: That don't apply to me! Watch me go out that door!
Delbert (has a box): Think our little snake friend Budweiser can convince you to stay!
Brett (laughs): That little thing? HA! That can't even chew gonads!
Robbie: We beg to differ!
Delbert: Sic 'em Budweiser!
The little grater snake named Budweiser flew towards Brett. The grater snake wrapped himself around Brett's wrists and ankles.
Brett: Untie me at once! You assfuckers!
Hobo Cop sees the website had finally completely downloaded.
Robbie: All right! Cres the Snake God here we come!
Delbert (gets some magic supplies) Good thing I kept this magic stuff from Dungeons and Dragons!
Brett: You won't get away with this! Gerald Fitzgerald will kick your asses!
Hobo Cop, Robbie, Delbert: SHUT THE FUCK UP, BRETT!
Down the street, Sonny, Michael, and Fredo were driving Fitz to the Snake Hick Club.
Scene 8:
Brett, still tied up with the snake wrapped around his wrist and ankles, watches Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop try to get Cres The Snake God out of the computer. Delbert was dressed in a Dungeon Master robe and had with him a crystal ball.
Hobo Cop: I logged onto the website! Think we're onto something here!
The computer screen shows a ferocious looking snake that was Cres. Words said, "Welcome To Cres The Snake God" Enter At Your Own Risk.
Robbie: Let's get this show on the road! Delbert do your stuff!
Delbert (wiggles his fingers over the crystal ball): Mamma See! Mamma Soo! Mamma Saw! Mamma See! Mamma Soo! Momma Saw! Mamma See! Mamma Soo! Mamma Saw!
The computer screen began to flash and opened a gateway with lasers coming out of the screen.
Brett: I can't believe it!
As the gateway begins to open from the computer screen Fitz breaks into the basement along with Sonny, Michael and Fredo.
Fitz: We're here to kick your asses, Snake Hick Club! And what did you do with Brett?
Sonny, Fitz, Fredo, and Michael all had their guns aimed at Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie: Too little too late now! Because Cres The Snake God is going to be in cahoots with us to destroy you!
Delbert: He's coming at any minute now!
Sonny: Oh no! Are they serious?
Fitz: Eliminate us? You and what army?
Robbie: Guess we ought to explain our diabolical plan!
Delbert: I used Dungeon's and Dragons magic to bring forth Cres the Snake God. So he can obey us and we rednecks will use it's power to bring upon death and destruction all over the world!
Hobo Cop: Don't look at me. They made me do this.
Robbie: So your Kingpin days are over, Gerald Fitzgerald!
Delbert: Now it's time for the rednecks to take over!
Fitz: Cres? Is the name of the Snake God? That's the name of the unknown murderer in Illustrative Corpses! My all time favorite movie!
Michael: Should we shoot them, boss?
Sonny: Nah, just wait.
Brett: Uhhh, isn't anybody going to help me out here?
Robbie: We want to show the world that we rednecks are more than capable in the game of world domination.
Delbert: We rednecks are also a victim of a hurtful stereotype that we're all dumber than bricks and all of us are drunks, white trash, wife beaters, NASCAR lovers, and or high school drop outs!
Robbie: That's why we want use Cres to prove everyone wrong!
Delbert (points to the screen): I see him! I think I can see him!
The screen's gateway began to close as a small red snake came out of it.
Robbie: He's here! At long last! Cres the Snake God! We welcome you!
Delbert: Consume us with your powers! (looks at Cres) Why is he so small, though?
Hobo Cop: Maybe we should let the snake speak for himself. Just to tell you all. I am in no way involved! I only agreed to do this because I was bored!
Scene 9:
Fitz, and the Zamari brothers as well as Robbie, Delbert, Brett, and Hobo Cop all stare at Cres the so called "Snake God".
Cres: Who are all you people? Why is everybody looking at me!
Hobo Cop: These two yo yos thought you were some kind of evil entity!
Cres: But, I'm not. Why would you think such a thing?
Robbie: We wanted to partner with you to.....
Cres: What? To do evil? Because you feel repressed and victimized in some way?
Delbert: Yeah, how did you know?
Cres: I heard all that bullshit before. Just because you feel you've been put down in some way or the other. Doesn't mean you have to feel the need to inflict pain on others.
Fitz (to himself): Who does this asshole snake think he is?
Cres (sees Brett): Look what you did to that poor guy over there. Untie him this instant.
Fitz: Leave that to me. (goes over to Brett)
Cres: Why are you holding that poor man hostage? Is it that he's more educated than you? Judging from his looks he is.
As Fitz frees Brett from the red snake known as Budweiser. Brett stands up and stretches.
Brett: They had no right to do that to me. All I wanted was to join their club. So we can have more people join us to distribute drugs. I'm a pharmaceutical represenitive. In fact I was involved with the opioid epidemic.
Cres: Seriously. How would you like it if someone wanted to deliver pain and misery on you all? You think you rednecks are a victim of stereotypes? What about blacks and Italians? They've had it worse than you!
Fitz: Amen, brother!
Robbie and Delbert decide to ignore Cres's speech.
Sonny: Believe it or not we're all criminals here.
Fitz: That's right. I'm a Kingpin.
Hobo Cop: You're all a bunch of assholes who need to be in prison! I'm outta here! (leaves the basement)
Cres: See what you all have done? Using that poor hobo.
Sonny: Seems this snake is some kind of virtue signaler.
Cres: Why you all ought to be ashamed or yourselves. I've had enough of this shit! I'm going back in the internet! I'm done!
The gateway opens up as Cres re enters the computer.
Sonny (shakes Fitz's hand): I admire your spirit, Fitz!
Fitz: It was awesome to do business with you.
Michael: We'll look you after if we ever need a hit man!
Fitz: Keep in touch if you want to help me deliver or sell argyle and houndstooth meth!
Brett and Fitz leave the basement after saying their final goodbyes. Robbie and Delbert look with fear at the Zamari brothers.
Robbie: So, heh heh.......are you guys looking for new members of your gang?
Delbert: I know a thing or two about the Italian lifestyle.......I like pasta and such!
Sonny puts on brass knuckles, Michael gets a baseball bat, and Fredo puts on some steel toed boots and the three of them beat on Robbie and Delbert mercilessly.
Robbie: This is what we mean by being repressed!
Delbert: We hillbillies deserve respect!
Michael: You were our next targets!
Fredo: Feel the pain!
Scene 10 Conclusion:
Fitz and Brett were in the backseat of their limo. Ray Charles In the Heat of The Night begins to play
Brett: Thanks for saving my ass back there.
Fitz: You would've done the same for me.
Brett: At least now we have more men on our side.
Fitz: Exactly.
A cellphone rings and Fitz answers.
Fitz: Hello? Yes, Russian Mobster. Is that you? You're where?
The limo drove to the railroad track site where Thester was killed. Frank Flipperfist, Pat Robertson, Pedro Pooptooth, Marcos Narcos, and the Russian Mobster were there. Brett and Fitz both get out of the limo.
Brett: Hey, there. Legion of DOOOOOM. What are you guys doing here?
Pat Robertson: We gathered here to pay or last respects to Thester Carbomb.
Fitz (whining): Awww! Why did you guys do this to me for? I told you all specifically I don't want to be reminded of this!
Russian Mobster: Actually, we're here to tear down the tracks.
Pedro Pooptooth: We stole a lot of construction equipment.
Marcos Narcos: Dynamite, too! Just give us the order.
Brett: Do you want to go through with this? You sure? Want to get your revenge on the speedtrain that killed your last partner Thester Carbomb? Although I never really knew him.
Fitz: No, let it go. Let's just keep the peace of the train tracks.
Brett: That's a good idea.
Pedro Pooptooth, Pat Robertson, Russian Mobster, Brett, Frank Flipperfist all entered the limo and drove back to the Dippin Dots building. They decided to use the construction equipment and dynamite for future criminal causes. Fitz's memory of Thester was soon forgotten.
Knowing that Thester had died in vain. Fitz could not be more happier with having Brett as his henchman. A more competent right hand man that Thester could never be. Most important, Brett didn't use comedy at every turn which really annoyed the hell out of Fitz. In the weeks and months to come, Fitz's meth empire in Paradise was thriving now that he had Brett on his side.
THE END
Fanfic Title:
Snake Hick Club
by: Trenton Sands
Author's Note: Decided to do some Paradise PD fanfics. In this one I am not using Thester. Because I do not like him. He's way too annoying. So Brett DeMarco will be Fitz's second in command partner instead. Brett DeMarco would've been a better partner for Fitz than Thester ever was.
Scene 1:
At the Paradise PD Police Department. Randall, Kevin, and Bullet were taping what looked to be a Crime Club Convention.
Bullet: This Crime Club think you came up with was pure genius, Randall!
Randall: Yes, it's just the perfect trap for us to get Fitz. If I do say so myself!
Kevin: Yeah, we're going to put Fitz in his place all right!
Bullet sees Fitz and his new right hand man Brett DeMarco walk inside the Convention.
Kevin: Glad we used the metronome for this.
Bullet: We got you now, Fitz!
Randall: Which ever club they pick to join, we'll go undercover!
At the Paradise Metronome, Gerald Fitzgerald and his new partner, Brett DeMarco look all around for a club to join.
Fitz: They never have anything like this for us drug dealers.
Brett: Yeah, it's usually family oriented shit like Farmer's Markets.
Fitz: All we need to do is join a criminal club.
Brett: Tell me why again we're at this Crime Club Convention?
Fitz: Because the more criminals we're exposed to, the more costumers and sellers we have for our Argyle and Houndstooth meth.
Brett: That Drama one looks pretty cool. I was in one in high school! To Be Or Not to...
Fitz: Shut up! Stop acting like a fucking buffoonish asshole. I already had a partner like that and he died!
Brett: What did happen to that guy?
Fitz: You mean, Thester Carbomb?
Brett: Oh look! A French Club! Let's join that! We can be like Alain Charnier from the French Connection!
Fitz: No way! I don't do French things. Anyway, Thester died in a car accident when a drug speedtrain banged into his car.
Brett: Sorry to hear about that. You have my condolences.
Fitz: Yeah, thanks! (points to a booth) Think I found a club!
Brett (points to another booth): So did I!
Fitz goes to the booth with a sign that reads "MAFIA CLUB". Back at the Paradise PD Police headquarters, Kevin, Randall and Bullet were watching through a surveillance camera that Bullet had planted.
Bullet: HA! Think we hit paydirt, dudes!
Kevin: Are we going undercover now to nail Fitz?
Randall: I'm going to trust you on this, Kevin. Whatever you do don't fuck up this plan of action!
Kevin: We'll do, Dad!
Randall, Kevin, and Bullet were on their way to the Paradise Metronome to go on an undercover mission. Fitz signs up for the Mafia Club. Brett finds a booth with a sign that reads, "Snake Hick Club". Words underneath said!" Abandon All Hope!"
Brett: Huh? How bad could this be?
Walking to the booth, Brett falls into a trap door.
Scene 2:
On the way to the Metronome, Kevin wonders why it's just him, Randall, and Bullet.
Kevin: Hey, Dad. Where's everybody else?
Bullet: Stanley is in another one of his comas.
Randall: Dusty signed up for sleep experiments.
Kevin: What about Gina?
Bullet: Oh, she's working a bank robbery case.
The scene changes to Dusty sleeping on a hospital bed with electrodes attached to his head. While sleeping Dusty has a nightmare that a psychopathic woman named Brynn Redflowers was beating up everyone at the Paradise PD. Brynn hated Gina the most so she had her in an iron maiden while making Dusty watch. When Brynn was done, she then closes in on Dusty while saying to him. Brynn had red hair, purple tank top, skinny jeans and knee high boots.
Dusty: You killed Gina you bitch! She was the only woman I had ever loved!
Brynn: You're all mine now Dusty! All mine! (cackles)
Dusty: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME?
Brynn: Next stop, Mushroom Kingdom! After that, the planet Mobius! (drags Dusty away)
Dusty: NO! NO! NO! NO!
Another scene with Gina is shown as she is subduing bank robbers Mortal Kombat style.
Gina: Guess this case is closed! Closed in my Scrapbook of arrests!
Entering the metronome, Kevin, Bullet, and Randall manage to sneak inside dressed like Mafia hitmen.
Scene 3:
Brett DeMarco looks all around. He finds himself in a basement. That is until Brett heard a voice. It was Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie: Greetings! Welcome to the Snake Hick Club!
Brett: Uhhh, hi. I'm Brett DeMarco and I work for pharmacidals.
Delbert: No need to tell us your life story.
Brett sees that Robbie and Delbert were wearing bubble wrap suits over their clothes.
Robbie: Bet you're going to ask about our club attire, I wager?
Brett: Uh, yes. Will I get one too?
Delbert: You will after we give you our approval.
Brett: All right, but why bubble wrap?
Robbie: Why not bubble wrap? It's all we can afford for right now.
Delbert: We were also inspired by the movie Dude, Where's My Car.
Brett: So, uh. Mind telling me what is it you do in this club?
Robbie: Eager beaver are we? For starters, we're redneck hicks who started snake themed club.
Delbert: Our main goal is to summon the snake God known as Cres.
Brett: Snake God? Cres. Got it. How are you going to summon this snake?
Robbie: The internet of course. We just need to access the website.
Delbert: But only our computer is one from 2003.
Brett: Wouldn't it be better to get an upgraded computer?
Robbie: Hey, you have no right to question the way we run things around here.
Brett: OKay, sorry.
Delbert: You're not ready yet.
Brett: I only joined to find some who are willing to help the Legion of DOOOOOM sell argyle and houndtooth meth. Gerald Fitzgerald the Kingpin sent me.
Robbie: Great timing you came. Cres would be perfect to help you all sell meth. Then we can achieve our ultimate goal.
Brett: And what would that be?
Delbert: You're the leader, tell him, Robbie.
Robbie: We're also going to use Cres to take over the world!
Brett: Wow. The more evil the better. Why take over the world?
Delbert: So we rednecks can be the dominant spieces on the planet.
Brett: When are we going to get some action here?
Robbie: In due time, my friend. But first, Delbert will sing you our Snake Hick Club theme song. Hit it!
Delbert (gets a guitar and sings): Well, I Feel Better All Over More Than Anything Else. Baby When I'm Out With You! I Feel Better All Over When You Kiss Me Like You Do....
Brett stares in disbelief wondering what he got himself into.
Robbie: It's an old Ferlin Husky song. In fact, it's the only song we're going to listen to in our club!
Brett: I wonder how Fitz is doing with his club.
Scene 4:
Outside a building that was Goopy Goopers, a caption reads "Mafia Headquarters" then a Mafia Don covers up the caption.
Mafia Don: Shhhhhhh!
Gerald Fitzgerald was in a huge room full of speakers. The voice through the speakers talked like Marlon Brando. His name was Sonny Zamari.
Sonny: So, you want to join our organization?
Fitz: Of course I do.
Sonny: We are the Mafia. We're rather unsure of someone of your stature joining us.
Fitz: What stature? You mean my skin color? Damn, you Mafia are racist, fucking pigs!
Sonny: Up until now, we only allowed Italians to join, but with you. We'll make an exception.
Fitz: All right. You do know I'm a Kingpin, right? Leader of the Legion of DOOOOOM to be exact.
Sonny: Yes, we know. We can use someone like you on our team.
Fitz: Go on. I'm listening.
Sonny: How would you like to be our personal hitman for our Mafia?
Fitz: Count me in! If there's anything I love doing is killing people! You should've seen what I did to Terry Two Toes!
Sonny: Approved! You are now our personal hit man!
Fitz was more than pleased to start his new gig as a Mafia Hit Man. In another room, Sonny was watching Fitz in a recording room.
Sonny: Ha! He's perfect! Make him an offer he can't refuse!
The Zamari Crime Family consisted of two brothers named Michael and Fredo.
Fredo and Michael: Right away big brother Sonny!
Scene 5:
Brett was still sitting on the couch listening to Robbie and Delbert talking to him. While eating Rice Krispie Treats.
Robbie: You're right, Delbert. Chocolate chips do taste good in these...
Brett (growing impatient): Hey! Hickboys! I've been here three hours now and I still haven't seen anything that looks at all like a real snake!
Delbert: These Rice Krispie treats are shaped like snakes.
Brett: No your treats looks like shit!
Delbert and Robbie gave a look of disgust and soon got over it.
Robbie: Patience Brett! All will be revealed soon. Because we have a secret hidden, AGENDA! And a very dark AGENDA! Other clubs would not agree with our....AGENDA!
Delbert: Hey, that sounds like fun. Let me try! AGENDA!
Whenever Robbie and Delbert said "Agenda" their faces were shown close up!
Robbie: AGENDA!
Delbert: AGENDA!
Robbie: AGENDA!
Delbert: AGENDA!
Brett: You made your point! What do I have to do to see a snake in this club? Watch the movie Ssssss? Or that Six Million Dollar Man episode?
Robbie: Know what? Maybe you're right. Think it is time we do summon our soon to be leader, Cres!
Delbert: We'll need someone who's good with computers.
Brett: You can use me. I'm fucking A at computers. I work with them at my pharmacidal company.
Robbie: Nah, not you. We're thinking of someone in more of the lines of being homeless.
Delbert: I know someone who's homeless.
Brett: You're not thinking about hiring who I think you're going to......
Under a bridge, Robbie and Delbert lead Brett to where Hobo Cop resided.
Hobo Cop: What do you guys want? Got any Bibles for me to eat?
Robbie: We got a proposition for you, Hobo Cop!
Delbert: Criminals like us can use a homeless guy like you for help.
Brett: Uhh, yes. Like teenagers who want to buy beer for a party.
Hobo Cop: What will it be?
Robbie: We want you to hack into our computer and bring forth a Snake God.
Delbert: We'll make it worth your while!
Robbie (jabs Delbert's ribs): So will you do it?
Hobo Cop: Sure! Just as long as I can take a Holy Shit!
Brett: It's been decided! Afterwards we'll give you all the Bibles you want to eat!
Hobo Cop goes with Brett, Robbie, and Delbert back to the Snake Hick Club.
Scene 6:
Miles away from the Goopy Goopers Sonny Zamari and his brothers named Fredo and Michael were getting Fitz ready for his first mission. Fitz was on a jet ski ready to go across the Gulf of Mexico.
Sonny: Here's the deal, Fitz. Across the gulf is an empty building. That's where our rivals the Kranti family is.
Fitz: Right.
Fredo: All we need you to do is go inside, search for them. If you see any of the members, KILL!
Michael: If you succeed, you will be our honorary hit man!
Fitz (getting ready to take off): I'll do it! I'm in the mood for some bloodshed anyway!
Sonny: Good luck and as they say in Hollywood and now we Mafia will say, break a leg!
Fitz (salutes): I won't let you down!
Michael: When this is done maybe we'll join your Legion of DOOOOOM!
Fitz goes off on the jet ski. Going across the gulf like the Zamari Brothers had told him to. Scritti Politti's Perfect Way begins to play.
Fredo (calls out to Fitz): Whatever you do! Don't do anything to go against the family!
Sonny (turns to Fredo): Do you always have to say that to anyone we recruit.
Fredo: Well, I..
Michael: Don't say that anymore! We're sick of it now!
Fitz: Damn! I feel like Gregory Hines in Running Scared! (riding the jet ski)
Sailing across the gulf, Fitz manages to make it to land. The song ends as Fitz found the building.
Fitz: This must be where they are.
Entering, Fitz sees nothing but empty cardboard boxes and rats running around. Armed with his gun, Fitz hears a noise that sounded like a screwdriver dropping.
Fitz: All right, Kranti family! I know you're here!
Footsteps were heard from behind Fitz, before he knew it. Fitz felt a gun barrel at his back.
Voice #1: Surprise!
Fitz turns around and he sees what he thinks is the Kranti family. Who looked like three men dressed like assassins.
Voice #2: We're glad you're here because now we finally got you!
Fitz: That's where you're wrong. The Zamari family sent me to fuck your ass up! Enjoy your last moments of being alive you Kranti family mother fuckers!
Voice #3: Actually we're not the Kranti family we're really....
The "Kranti Family" take off the assassin costumes and reveal they're Randall, Bullet, and Kevin.
Randall: PARADISE PD!
Bullet: Got you with the goods, hey Fitz!
Kevin: Before we cart you away for being the Kingpin, we're going to give you the beating of your life!
Fitz: Not that I can help it! (pulls out a gun)
A gunfight breaks out. Randall, Kevin, and Bullet were shooting at Fitz as he was doing the same. Fitz found a hiding place to shoot at Randall, Bullet, and Kevin who were now looking for him.
Kevin: Where did he go Dad!
Randall: You figure it out!
Bullet (sniffs around): My cocaine sniffing days have come in handy! Fitz is over there!
Fitz quickly gets out of his hiding place and finds a jar of blow darts.
Randall: Dammit! We lost him again!
Bullet: I can sniff him out again!
Kevin: Ohhh! Oh Fitz! Hey Fitz! Come out come out where ever you are!
Randall (slaps Kevin): Are you that fucking stupid?!
Fitz was now behind them and throws the blow darts into their necks.
Randall: KEVIN! This is all your......(falls asleep)
Fitz: Your asses are mine Moe, Larry, and Curly!
Kevin (falls asleep): Dad, sorr....
Bullet (falls asleep) YAWN! Bedtime for Bullet!
Fitz stood over the Bullet, Kevin, and Randall and was very proud of the job he had done. Fitz gets his cellphone to call Sonny.
Sonny (over the phone): Hey, Fitz! Did you get them!
Fitz: I got them!
Sonny: Good we'll be over right away to pick up the bodies!
Momentarily, The Zamari Brothers were at the empty building. Sonny congratulated Fitz on doing a great job.
Sonny: Glad we hired you to be on our team.
Fitz: It's great to be here! What are you going to do with them?
Sonny: Uhh, probably just drop them off in a ditch somewhere!
Fredo and Michael were dragging Kevin, Bullet, and Randall into their car.
Randall: We'll get your for this FITZ!
Kevin: Filthy traitor! Next time we meet it'll be your demise!
Bullet: This episode was supposed to be about a Snake Club run by rednecks! SNAKE CLUB!
Sonny (to Fitz): Now your next mission. Take out the Snake Hick Club!
Fitz (cocks gun): I'm already there!
Scene 7:
Back in the basement of Robbie and Delbert now called The Snake Hick Club. Hobo Cop was on their computer. Brett still remained seated growing impatient by the minute.
Brett: Hello! I'm still here! Stop ignoring me, dammit!
Hobo Cop: What am I doing here, again?
Robbie: We're going to get the snake called Cres out of the internet.
Delbert: And use the snake to extend our wrath around the world.
Hobo Cop: Sorry, I kind of new at this. Where exactly do I do now?
Robbie: Go to Google and type in Cres the Snake God.
Delbert: Then type in the URL address.
Hobo Cop: All right, now I think I'm getting the hang on this.
Robbie: Once we meet Cres the Snake God, he'll be taking orders from me!
Delbert: Nuh uh, Robbie! Cres will like me the most!
Robbie: Fuck no! Cres will like me better!
Delbert: NO ME!
Robbie: NO ME!
Delbert: SHUT UP!
Robbie: NO YOU SHUT UP!
Delbert: NO YOU SHUT UP!
Robbie: NO YOU SHUT UP!
Delbert: NO YOU!
Hobo Cop: Guys! Guys! Please! Can it! Maybe Cres will like both of you equally!
Brett: Come on! Any day now!
Robbie: Please Brett! Now now! Wait your turn! (to Hobo Cop) All right, type in the URL address.
Hobo Cop: What's it called?
Delbert: WWW dot CRESSNAKEGOD dot Net
Hobo Cop: Got it!
As Hobo Cop was typing in the URL, Robbie smells his breath.
Robbie: Shit Hobo Cop, ever heard of mouthwash!
Hobo Cop: Hello! I'm homeless! I'm supposed to smell like shit! (typing) Okay. I think I got it!
Delbert: Actually it's spelled CRESS THE SNAKE GOD!
The computer begins to make jungle noises along with the sounds of chimpanzees schreeching.
Robbie: Holy shit! We accessed a porn site!
Delbert: COOL!
Hobo Cop (holding his hands over the screen): Sorry, this isn't anything for children to see!
Robbie: We ain't children! Do we look like little kids to you?
Delbert: Yeah, we're in our 20s for crying out loud.
Brett decides he's had enough and is about to leave. Hobo Cop types the URL address correctly.
Robbie: Ooooh! Shit! This is taking too long to download!
Brett: If you guys are just going to clown around like assholes I am outta here! Goodbye!
Just as Brett was about to open the door, Delbert was behind the door to stop him. The Cres The Snake God website was still endlessly downloading.
Delbert: Where do you think you're going?
Brett: I realized this club is all talk and no action! So I'm leaving! Sayonara and good riddance!
Robbie: Why? You need to stay. We accessed the website.
Brett: Yeah, for how long, three days?
Delbert: We forgot to tell you one detail.
Brett: What's that?
Robbie: Whoever joins Snake Hick Club, stays in Snake Hick Club!
Brett: That don't apply to me! Watch me go out that door!
Delbert (has a box): Think our little snake friend Budweiser can convince you to stay!
Brett (laughs): That little thing? HA! That can't even chew gonads!
Robbie: We beg to differ!
Delbert: Sic 'em Budweiser!
The little grater snake named Budweiser flew towards Brett. The grater snake wrapped himself around Brett's wrists and ankles.
Brett: Untie me at once! You assfuckers!
Hobo Cop sees the website had finally completely downloaded.
Robbie: All right! Cres the Snake God here we come!
Delbert (gets some magic supplies) Good thing I kept this magic stuff from Dungeons and Dragons!
Brett: You won't get away with this! Gerald Fitzgerald will kick your asses!
Hobo Cop, Robbie, Delbert: SHUT THE FUCK UP, BRETT!
Down the street, Sonny, Michael, and Fredo were driving Fitz to the Snake Hick Club.
Scene 8:
Brett, still tied up with the snake wrapped around his wrist and ankles, watches Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop try to get Cres The Snake God out of the computer. Delbert was dressed in a Dungeon Master robe and had with him a crystal ball.
Hobo Cop: I logged onto the website! Think we're onto something here!
The computer screen shows a ferocious looking snake that was Cres. Words said, "Welcome To Cres The Snake God" Enter At Your Own Risk.
Robbie: Let's get this show on the road! Delbert do your stuff!
Delbert (wiggles his fingers over the crystal ball): Mamma See! Mamma Soo! Mamma Saw! Mamma See! Mamma Soo! Momma Saw! Mamma See! Mamma Soo! Mamma Saw!
The computer screen began to flash and opened a gateway with lasers coming out of the screen.
Brett: I can't believe it!
As the gateway begins to open from the computer screen Fitz breaks into the basement along with Sonny, Michael and Fredo.
Fitz: We're here to kick your asses, Snake Hick Club! And what did you do with Brett?
Sonny, Fitz, Fredo, and Michael all had their guns aimed at Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie: Too little too late now! Because Cres The Snake God is going to be in cahoots with us to destroy you!
Delbert: He's coming at any minute now!
Sonny: Oh no! Are they serious?
Fitz: Eliminate us? You and what army?
Robbie: Guess we ought to explain our diabolical plan!
Delbert: I used Dungeon's and Dragons magic to bring forth Cres the Snake God. So he can obey us and we rednecks will use it's power to bring upon death and destruction all over the world!
Hobo Cop: Don't look at me. They made me do this.
Robbie: So your Kingpin days are over, Gerald Fitzgerald!
Delbert: Now it's time for the rednecks to take over!
Fitz: Cres? Is the name of the Snake God? That's the name of the unknown murderer in Illustrative Corpses! My all time favorite movie!
Michael: Should we shoot them, boss?
Sonny: Nah, just wait.
Brett: Uhhh, isn't anybody going to help me out here?
Robbie: We want to show the world that we rednecks are more than capable in the game of world domination.
Delbert: We rednecks are also a victim of a hurtful stereotype that we're all dumber than bricks and all of us are drunks, white trash, wife beaters, NASCAR lovers, and or high school drop outs!
Robbie: That's why we want use Cres to prove everyone wrong!
Delbert (points to the screen): I see him! I think I can see him!
The screen's gateway began to close as a small red snake came out of it.
Robbie: He's here! At long last! Cres the Snake God! We welcome you!
Delbert: Consume us with your powers! (looks at Cres) Why is he so small, though?
Hobo Cop: Maybe we should let the snake speak for himself. Just to tell you all. I am in no way involved! I only agreed to do this because I was bored!
Scene 9:
Fitz, and the Zamari brothers as well as Robbie, Delbert, Brett, and Hobo Cop all stare at Cres the so called "Snake God".
Cres: Who are all you people? Why is everybody looking at me!
Hobo Cop: These two yo yos thought you were some kind of evil entity!
Cres: But, I'm not. Why would you think such a thing?
Robbie: We wanted to partner with you to.....
Cres: What? To do evil? Because you feel repressed and victimized in some way?
Delbert: Yeah, how did you know?
Cres: I heard all that bullshit before. Just because you feel you've been put down in some way or the other. Doesn't mean you have to feel the need to inflict pain on others.
Fitz (to himself): Who does this asshole snake think he is?
Cres (sees Brett): Look what you did to that poor guy over there. Untie him this instant.
Fitz: Leave that to me. (goes over to Brett)
Cres: Why are you holding that poor man hostage? Is it that he's more educated than you? Judging from his looks he is.
As Fitz frees Brett from the red snake known as Budweiser. Brett stands up and stretches.
Brett: They had no right to do that to me. All I wanted was to join their club. So we can have more people join us to distribute drugs. I'm a pharmaceutical represenitive. In fact I was involved with the opioid epidemic.
Cres: Seriously. How would you like it if someone wanted to deliver pain and misery on you all? You think you rednecks are a victim of stereotypes? What about blacks and Italians? They've had it worse than you!
Fitz: Amen, brother!
Robbie and Delbert decide to ignore Cres's speech.
Sonny: Believe it or not we're all criminals here.
Fitz: That's right. I'm a Kingpin.
Hobo Cop: You're all a bunch of assholes who need to be in prison! I'm outta here! (leaves the basement)
Cres: See what you all have done? Using that poor hobo.
Sonny: Seems this snake is some kind of virtue signaler.
Cres: Why you all ought to be ashamed or yourselves. I've had enough of this shit! I'm going back in the internet! I'm done!
The gateway opens up as Cres re enters the computer.
Sonny (shakes Fitz's hand): I admire your spirit, Fitz!
Fitz: It was awesome to do business with you.
Michael: We'll look you after if we ever need a hit man!
Fitz: Keep in touch if you want to help me deliver or sell argyle and houndstooth meth!
Brett and Fitz leave the basement after saying their final goodbyes. Robbie and Delbert look with fear at the Zamari brothers.
Robbie: So, heh heh.......are you guys looking for new members of your gang?
Delbert: I know a thing or two about the Italian lifestyle.......I like pasta and such!
Sonny puts on brass knuckles, Michael gets a baseball bat, and Fredo puts on some steel toed boots and the three of them beat on Robbie and Delbert mercilessly.
Robbie: This is what we mean by being repressed!
Delbert: We hillbillies deserve respect!
Michael: You were our next targets!
Fredo: Feel the pain!
Scene 10 Conclusion:
Fitz and Brett were in the backseat of their limo. Ray Charles In the Heat of The Night begins to play
Brett: Thanks for saving my ass back there.
Fitz: You would've done the same for me.
Brett: At least now we have more men on our side.
Fitz: Exactly.
A cellphone rings and Fitz answers.
Fitz: Hello? Yes, Russian Mobster. Is that you? You're where?
The limo drove to the railroad track site where Thester was killed. Frank Flipperfist, Pat Robertson, Pedro Pooptooth, Marcos Narcos, and the Russian Mobster were there. Brett and Fitz both get out of the limo.
Brett: Hey, there. Legion of DOOOOOM. What are you guys doing here?
Pat Robertson: We gathered here to pay or last respects to Thester Carbomb.
Fitz (whining): Awww! Why did you guys do this to me for? I told you all specifically I don't want to be reminded of this!
Russian Mobster: Actually, we're here to tear down the tracks.
Pedro Pooptooth: We stole a lot of construction equipment.
Marcos Narcos: Dynamite, too! Just give us the order.
Brett: Do you want to go through with this? You sure? Want to get your revenge on the speedtrain that killed your last partner Thester Carbomb? Although I never really knew him.
Fitz: No, let it go. Let's just keep the peace of the train tracks.
Brett: That's a good idea.
Pedro Pooptooth, Pat Robertson, Russian Mobster, Brett, Frank Flipperfist all entered the limo and drove back to the Dippin Dots building. They decided to use the construction equipment and dynamite for future criminal causes. Fitz's memory of Thester was soon forgotten.
Knowing that Thester had died in vain. Fitz could not be more happier with having Brett as his henchman. A more competent right hand man that Thester could never be. Most important, Brett didn't use comedy at every turn which really annoyed the hell out of Fitz. In the weeks and months to come, Fitz's meth empire in Paradise was thriving now that he had Brett on his side.
THE END
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